guys need your help on this one

[gc_scot]

Ok get your typing fingers out and help me.

I have a girlfriend that I have been seeing and living with for 8 months, we had a great time, well now she cant decide what she wants, think she is afraid of commitment, so we agreed to break up and I am living with my brother, I think her friends are somehow influencing her.

Since then we keep in reguler contact via email, she sends me good night messages an all that, we went to a friends wedding last weekend and she stayed at mine, it was like we where still together, we shagged for hours and had a ball.

the next day I asked her if she was 100% she wanted to give up what we have, and if she was sure she had done the right thing, well this was the response.

No, I'm not 100% sure. Definitely not. But yes I do believe I've done the right thing. The right thing by you for now, and maybe the right thing by me in the long run. - Except I'm not sticking to it. I'm still 'with you'
when I'm with you. And I don't know how good that is for you. For me it's wonderful, but that's because it's a short term fix and I don't have to worry for a while about what a mess everything is. I forget how much I'm hurting you, and I'm just happy in your company.

do you think this is salvageable, I know I should stop making myself available, and start dating but then I am afraid there is no way back and at the moment I still feel there is hope, somehow I have to get her to see the light..

we still have a couple of things planned, this weekend she is coming to switzerland to help me drive my car back to the UK, she has said she wants to "be with me" and that is fine 2 nights of shagging!!

then a concert in july, a month in between the two events. I have to use this time to get her back but how???

 

[BarMan]

To my mind you need to back right off. Don't allow her to have the bits of you when she wants and how she wants, it's all or nothing. You have to make a decision to stay away and allow her to fvck around a bit because that's what she's essentially saying she wants to do.

Don't kid yourself, she wants space to experiment with other people. She'll be meeting other people so what you have to do is remind yourself that they won't be as good as you, go inside yourself and improve yourself without her. Become independent bro.

This site is full of people in your situation, basically what she's doing is letting you down slowly, easing you into it, while taking the fvcking and comfort from you when she needs it.

Wake up man.

 

[Socialreject]

Sounds to me like she wants to get on your "casual sex" agenda... So let her

 

[Socialreject]

To my mind you need to back right off. Don't allow her to have the bits of you when she wants and how she wants, it's all or nothing.

Errr??

It's not like she's trying to be his "friend" and just use him for emotional support... She's fvcking him... How is that ever a bad thing to stay away from?

Ex- gf's turned to "friends" = bad... ex-gf's turned to FWB= good

As long as you don't start with that emotional chump crap and start wallowing in your oneitis with her this seems like a pretty good situation to me!

 

[speedo_meme]

As long as you don't start with that emotional chump crap and start wallowing in your oneitis with her this seems like a pretty good situation to me!

But he will, and he already has. He needs to get away from her and don't let her pull this sh1t. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. DON'T LET THE B1TCH WIN!!!!!

There IS hope for salvaging this, but you have to go about your life as if you're moving on. Read my text "IT IS THE ONLY WAY, GC_SCOT."

She's keeping you around until she finds someone better. The sh1t's chess, it ain't checkers. She just doesn't want to feel guilty. It's all about her in her mind, not YOU. Start looking out for yourself.

 

[Socialreject]

But he will, and he already has. He needs to get away from her and don't let her pull this sh1t. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. DON'T LET THE B1TCH WIN!!!!!

Ok if that's the case then it's good for scot to learn more about oneitis and avoid it all together! In my mind it's a very good thing to have some longer term no strings sex buddies in circulation and this sounded like a candidate, hehe.

So yeah, scot, it's all about you, you have to do what's best for you. If you can't walk away from her in 10 seconds flat then maybe it is better if you avoid her alltogether, but if you have no problem walking away from her, then keep tapping that ass!

It doesn't really sound like she's "holding on till something better comes along" because she seems to be only interested in sex. Chicks who are holding on to a branch before hopping to another try to get any and everything they can out of a guy like money, emotional support etc. They don't actually tell the guy they are looking for something better until they already found it! I didn't really catch that in what scot said.

To me it sounds like either she doesn't feel like going without sex in between relationships, so she is going to fvck scot for a while till she finds another long term guy OR she just wants to sleep around for a while. Either way it sounds like a supply of no strings sex for a period of time... though in the latter case you might want to think about your health firstly! A chick that sleeps around a lot, no telling what she might get into your system!!

Look after nr1 first!

 

[brucevangeorge]

Learn. Read more. Read the Bible.

Its the only thing that can help you help yourself. Once you go through it all you will think differently. (assuming you are open to new ideas)

 

[milrenkb]

You've been given the gift of freedom my friend. Cheerish it, go out and find other people. See this girl as little as possible and do your best to forget about her. Look ask yourself this...Do you see yourself marying this girl? Shes consdiered herself scared of commitment, you say shes influenced by her friends. Do you really want to be with someone who can't think for herself?

Get out there in the field and build some more confidence for yourself so you don't stay hung up on this one girl. I know that emotions can be a powerful thing but remember, they're nothing more than intoxicating chemicals that are released in certain situations. I'm not saying that you should make yourself a robot, but once you come to this realization you'll find yourself more capable of controling your emotions.

 

[flexion_]

Looks like she is using you for sex and attention until she finds something better. Treat it as such.

Stop with the late night calls/e-mails. Stop all of that and focus on other women. Sure, use her for sex.

Yes the relationship is OVER - she is even telling you this - so stop trying to save it. You have oneitis.

 

[girlsarecrazy]

I'm in the same exact situation! She's doing this because of her single friends influencing her and the whole idea of summer coming up. We broke up 3 months ago and have 'unofficially' hanging out and fvcking ever since. Will this ever turn into a relationship again?