"Grow up"

[Kailex]

As Mature Men, I'm sure we've most likely heard this at least ONCE in our lifetime. I heard it recently when detailing a certain activity I was partaking in over the weekend.

"Don't you think it's time for you to 'grow up'?"

I'm intrigued by this, particularly for one specific reason: I don't ever remember hearing a woman be told that it's time for them to grow up.

I always hear it directed towards men, and it's NOT always women saying it to men. I've heard it from other men as well. I've heard it from friends and family as well and it's not always for one specific subject matter. I've heard it said to other people as well, from both women and men whether the subjects be video games, marriage, children, sports, buying a new car, etc...

Now I know why (mostly) other people say this, but I was wondering if anyone has other examples of being told such a thing and the way you interpreted it?

It seems that once you hit the later side of your twenties, you start to hear this more and more. Has anyone EVER heard a woman being told to "grow up" when talking about anything like this?

 

[samspade]

That's a common shaming phrase. However in the past few years I'm surprised how often I haven't heard it, even in my most philandering phases. I think the reason is simple: Whatever I do, I 100% embrace my lifestyle at that moment, and when I've maintained this self-assured attitude, men and women have given me my due respect. "You're living life the way you want it." Perhaps a couple of jealous men or bitter women have thought or said "grow up" around me, but I do my best not to suffer fools gladly, so either I don't hear it or don't care.

 

[Strelok]

Whenever someone expect something from you and you don't do it because it's against your best interest,they will use some shaming phrase.

Grow up if you have enough brain to avoid marriage,you're superficial if you reject a fat girl who rejected fat guys,you should be less insecure anytime your girl wanna go outside for some attention horing and you should be more peaceful when some a**hole piss in your ground but you don't allow that.

However I heard those lines mostly from old women (30+) and some leftist men,they seem to share the passion for shaming tactics instead of logic to push their points.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Operative Social Conventions

Shame
Perhaps the easiest and most recognizable form of social convention is shame. Not only this, but it is also the most easily employable and the most widely accepted - not just by women of all ages and descriptions, but also by popular culture and the media.

Exapmles:
“Men should date women their own age.”
“Men shouldn’t be so ‘shallow’ as to put off single mothers as viable long term mates.”
“Men have ‘fragile egos’ that need constant affirmation in an almost infantile respect.”
“Men feel threatened by ‘successful’ women.”


As well as being popularized myths, all of these are subtle (and not so subtle)manipulations of shame. Each is an operative social convention that places a man into a position of having to live up to an idealized standard that simultaneously raises the standard for a woman, thus placing her into a better position of sexual selection and in some instances, leveling the percieved playingfield with regard to the feminine competition dynamic (i.e single moms, older and professional women ought to be just as desirable as the younger women men biologically prefer).

 

[Alle_Gory]

Are you being shamed on your activity or on your personality?

I've seen the personality one pretty often. Older guys who throw tantrums like children and have no self-control. Once they lose their cool (very easily) they resort to childish name calling sometimes and then ineffective bully tactics. It's very weird.

 

[vatoloco]

Translation: Stop doing all those fun things that you do in your life and be miserable like me.

 

[Captain]

Social conditioning. Most older men settle down, get married to a wife who wears the pants, get a beer belly... if you aren't doing these things when you're their age, obviously you'd better "grow up" and be like them . They shame you because you do not fit the mould.

 

[RMM]

"What for?"

 

[Jitterbug]

I'd ask back: "Why is it important to you?"

Put them on the defensive.

 

[jophil28]

I'd ask back: "Why is it important to you?"

Put them on the defensive.

This rocks ^^.

 

[boomerick]

The funny thing about people that try to shame you is that......

Most times they are secretly envious of you and your freedom, boldness, and your confidence in choosing to ignore wussy group think....

Because they have made choices that define and restrict their lives, if you choose to reject those choices in your life you subtley invalidate them.....

Their shaming and critcism is their fear of their own choices and insecurity projected on to you....

Over and Out.

 

[Kailex]

I'd ask back: "Why is it important to you?"

Put them on the defensive.

I love this.

Are you being shamed on your activity or on your personality?

In my case, always activity.
But I've seen many cases that it's based on personality or a combination of both.





I really don't pay attention to it, but I'm always curious about the fact that it's said solely to men. Are there any such shaming tactics that are said to women, like... ever?

 

[Warrior74]

AGREE WITH THEM!


It took me a while as this was a sore spot for my ego, just like it is for yours. Your ego takes a hit and any response shows it, except for agreeing with them!

Law 38
Think as you like but Behave like others

If you make a show of going against the times, flaunting your unconventional ideas and unorthodox ways, people will think that you only want attention and that you look down upon them. They will find a way to punish you for making them feel inferior. It is far safer to blend in and nurture the common touch. Share your originality only with tolerant friends and those who are sure to appreciate your uniqueness.​

You need to grow up. Yah, your probably right.
You need to find a wife and settle down. Yah, You know any single girls?
You shouldn't date college girls. Yah they are immature, got any single friends?
You feel threatened by a successful woman. I won't lie I do. That's why I don't date them. You're smart to figure that one out.

Arguing makes your ego feel justified and great. But agreeing inflates their ego and sets them up for anything else you want to do to them. It shows their soft under belly. Once they feel smug you can use the Mirror Effect to do to them what they just did to you so they can see what it feels like. Or you can just let them believe their pretty lies.

I don't have the energy to argue with people anymore. And I don't care what people think...and I don't have to prove my way is right. It's just my way. And I don't have to make enemies by asserting my views over theirs. I just smile and agree and do what the hell I want. At the height of my player game. I had about 5 women and everyone I knew thought I was a poor dude who couldn't get a girlfriend. Later they found out the truth and were shocked.

Be a wolf in sheeps clothing. Look at Tiger, if you would have asked him about marriage and fidelity, he would have toed the company line while fvcking your sister. That is how the world works gentlemen. As we know that's how the world works for women, how many have seen it for themselves. That right there is the reason half of you are here. You believed the words, not the actions. Give the suckers pretty words to believe and keep your buisness, your business.

 

[samspade]

AGREE WITH THEM!


It took me a while as this was a sore spot for my ego, just like it is for yours. Your ego takes a hit and any response shows it, except for agreeing with them!



You need to grow up. Yah, your probably right.
You need to find a wife and settle down. Yah, You know any single girls?
You shouldn't date college girls. Yah they are immature, got any single friends?
You feel threatened by a successful woman. I won't lie I do. That's why I don't date them. You're smart to figure that one out.

Arguing makes your ego feel justified and great. But agreeing inflates their ego and sets them up for anything else you want to do to them. It shows their soft under belly. Once they feel smug you can use the Mirror Effect to do to them what they just did to you so they can see what it feels like. Or you can just let them believe their pretty lies.

I don't have the energy to argue with people anymore. And I don't care what people think...and I don't have to prove my way is right. It's just my way. And I don't have to make enemies by asserting my views over theirs. I just smile and agree and do what the hell I want. At the height of my player game. I had about 5 women and everyone I knew thought I was a poor dude who couldn't get a girlfriend. Later they found out the truth and were shocked.

Be a wolf in sheeps clothing. Look at Tiger, if you would have asked him about marriage and fidelity, he would have toed the company line while fvcking your sister. That is how the world works gentlemen. As we know that's how the world works for women, how many have seen it for themselves. That right there is the reason half of you are here. You believed the words, not the actions. Give the suckers pretty words to believe and keep your buisness, your business.

Good post. Agree & Amplify short circuits almost all criticism.

 

[Colossus]

Everyone has a different idea of what "grow up" actually means. There are some common themes however, like "settling down" and "acting your age". Most of these are based on societal/cultural norms and the individual values of others.

Outside of basic hygiene and manners, I could give a sh!t what women think. There is a flavor for everybody. Really, there is.

However, like many things in life, it's relative. IMO there are certain things a grown-ass man should be doing and have handled. 'Growing up' does have some validity, you just have to look at the context of who's saying it and what they actually mean by it. When women tell you to grow up you can just let it roll off your back. It's hardly worth a second of consideration. If my best friend or father told me the same, I might take a step back and consider why they told me this.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Are there any such shaming tactics that are said to women, like... ever?

Well, I've got such low expectations for the behavior of most females that even the most childish tantrum isn't out of the ordinary for me.

How can you shame that?

 

[Joe Stud]

When I'm messing with a friend-HB, and she's not responding... I sometimes say "Sally, you've got a lot of growing up to do". Invariably they come back and pester me, asking why I feel that way. I do it just to get things going. In puts them back on their heels, and they want to know why you think they are childish, when i'm just messing with them. One of my favorite banter starter. LOL

 

[LovelyLady]

The Perpetual Adolescent
BY Joseph Epstein


http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/003/825grtdi.asp

 

[omkara]

The Perpetual Adolescent
BY Joseph Epstein


http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/003/825grtdi.asp

Boring... this article looks like it was written by old people. :nono: