Great prospect, right? 23 y/o 9/10 looks

[Barbillus]

Looking for some guidance here...

So I was down at Preakness (the all-day drinking event/horse race) last month with a bunch of my friends and met a girl (through another friend) that has the following traits:

-age 23 9/10 looks and she knows it
-very flirty on the flirtiness scale
-she seemed like the attention-type (some may view this as a negative, but I have pulled some of these before) that gets attention from a lot of guys
-very heavy kino coming from her - touching me, multiple hugs, grabbing my hand to hold, acted very happy to see me throughout the day and again at night at bars, got a kiss on cheek and lips (no tounge)
-found out I work in NYC, she told me she just got a job there and suggested "oh we should hang out!"

*during my interactions with her I played it very cool and laid back - this style usually works for me.*

I end up going home the next day. Next afternoon I get back to NYC where I live (I am 25 years old btw). I log onto my computer and see this girl has asked me to be her friend over facebook (similiar to myspace, but better imho). she sent me a msg saying "i had a great time meeting you" i accept her as a friend which gives her access to each other's profiles.
i reply to her msg and say "hey, i had fun meeting you too [name]. lets hang out again... would you like to meet me out for drinks one day in the city?' <--- i remember her telling me she just got a new job in NYC and wanted to hang out, however she lives at home in NJ and does not yet live in the city) I pretty much knew she was going to say yes.

she replys, "i would love to" etc.
i reply back ask for her number and tell her I will call her in a couple weeks (after she starts her new job)

So at this point, I think I am working this girl by the DJ book pretty well and this looks like a great prospect, right?

I call her 2 weeks later and leave a voicemail - "hey [name] its barbillus just giving you a call so we figure out what day we can meet up for drinks, call me back at [number]"

3 days later I finally get a response from her via text message - 'hey got your message, sorry i havent called you back yet but i've had a week of late nights, im still at work but i will call you next week and hopefully we can meet up soon, have a fun weekend"
I'm thinking whatever, she has a new job maybe she has been there late all week or whatever and she'll call me back next week like she said.

(I am aware the ball is in her court now, but alas, this is how this particular girl's situation unfolded w/ me)

It has been almost 1.5 weeks now since her txt and she has yet to call me back.

1) WHY!!!? I had IMMENSLY positive signs from her.. hahha yea I know none of you can answer the why question haha.

2) Should I just NEXT this one or make another attempt? I could send her another email or text message.. but what do you suggest I say/phrase it? I dont want to come across as desperate/needy by asking her why she hasn't called me back yet like she said.

I want the chance to try and lay this girl, but I need to hang out with her one on one first and see what happens. I just dont understand why this one hasn't materialized to a one on one meeting, I probably had some of the highest LOIs ever!! haha it baffles me!!

 

[CoolRunning]

never be in a position where you have to wait for the girl to call you back.

her bothering to txt you back was actually immensely positive. put yourself in her shoes, she just started a new job in a new city. to add to the inherent female natural flakiness, she's probably pretty ****ing busy.

just call her again at some point and don't leave a message. then try a few days later, and leave a message "hey it's xxxx. looks like i missed you, i'll try another time"

whatever you do, don't bring up the fact that she hasn't called you back

 

[Barbillus]

CoolRunning: I like your tip on never being in a position where I have to wait for a girl to call you back... i will have to try this... as well as the first call w/ no message, then second call leave a message, but instead say 'ill try another time" very solid.

however.. ALL of my friends that are girls tell me that they NEVER answer the phone when a guy calls the first time that they dont know too well.. NEVER.. and i have experienced this too. They always wait for the voicemail, then call back after they have "heard" it Its a girl thing I guess.


i see your point about her txt being a positive sign.. i mean she is just out of college got a new job and females are inherintly flaky.. but the way i see it an in my experience if a girl is interested in you.. SHE CALLS YOU BACK!! haha maybe this one is just different.

 

[KarmaSutra]

never be in a position where you have to wait for the girl to call you back.

her bothering to txt you back was actually immensely positive. put yourself in her shoes, she just started a new job in a new city. to add to the inherent female natural flakiness, she's probably pretty ****ing busy.

just call her again at some point and don't leave a message. then try a few days later, and leave a message "hey it's xxxx. looks like i missed you, i'll try another time"

whatever you do, don't bring up the fact that she hasn't called you back

Christ. I can remember when you were whining in your spilled beer about not even getting a date with a chick.

Look at you now

Good job brother. I also agree with never putting yourself in a position where you're on the recieving end from a woman. Growing up brother . . .

 

[lookyoung]

It sounds to me that this girl had a high interest level in you, but it may have tapered off. If a girl has a High interest level in you than they will call you back ASAP.

My guess would be that you either mistaken her IOI or the more probable one is she is seeing someone else. When a woman is TOTALLY single than they are much more likely to call back. (Not flake). When they are seeing someone else they are more likely to flake.

This girl is a 9 so it is an excellent chance she is probably having other guys ask her out, or she maybe dating someone.

 

[st_99]

I think you waited too long to call and things fizzled out somewhat. I used to do the wait a while thing to, but I think a better way is to basically call almost right away. Hopefully she answers and just have a cool, fun convo.. hopefully make her laugh a bit and tell her "ok, gotta go." THEN, you can fall back and act aloof and she'll be conflicted thinking you were totally into her because you called right away and why did you all of a sudden disappear? She'll start calling you then and you'll have control of the situation...

 

[WestCoaster]

You went to The Preakness -- awesome! Great stuff ... as for the gal, sounds high maintenance. The fact you went to The Preakness makes one's week, gal or not.

 

[Barbillus]

good replies guys - gotta love these younger girls hahaha.

I dont really wanna call her again cause I already did and I doubt she will answer -these younger girls never do. Im thinking of giving her one last pass (remember she already said via email a 3/4 weeks ago that she woudl love to meet me for drinks) and just sending her the following txt msg later this week during the early evening:
"hey [name] whats going on?? they still making you work late these days? i really hope you are out somewhere, esp on a thurs night haha. i have a couple free days early next week if you want to come meet me out after work. let me know."
(i'd prefer to get a tues or wed date here)

(if that above txt msg sounds a little lame, please help me out - i personally think it is good b/c it looks like im not trying w/ her too hard by sending a txt, i poke a little fun on the working late part, then try to land a meeting w/ her next week on my time while giving the impression that I am a busy guy - which i am i got stuff planned thurs and fri next week) haha

some closing thoughts: maybe i just need to be a little more agressive with these super hot girls... i thought her interest in me was through the roof when i met her and that was apparent through her actions which i described ain previous posts. its been a month so probably her interest has died down a bit.... we'll see if I can deliver.. otherwise.. NEXT. thanks guys.

 

[CoolRunning]

good replies guys - gotta love these younger girls hahaha.

I dont really wanna call her again cause I already did and I doubt she will answer -these younger girls never do. Im thinking of giving her one last pass (remember she already said via email a 3/4 weeks ago that she woudl love to meet me for drinks) and just sending her the following txt msg later this week during the early evening:
"hey [name] whats going on?? they still making you work late these days? i really hope you are out somewhere, esp on a thurs night haha. i have a couple free days early next week if you want to come meet me out after work. let me know."
(i'd prefer to get a tues or wed date here)

(if that above txt msg sounds a little lame, please help me out - i personally think it is good b/c it looks like im not trying w/ her too hard by sending a txt, i poke a little fun on the working late part, then try to land a meeting w/ her next week on my time while giving the impression that I am a busy guy - which i am i got stuff planned thurs and fri next week) haha

some closing thoughts: maybe i just need to be a little more agressive with these super hot girls... i thought her interest in me was through the roof when i met her and that was apparent through her actions which i described ain previous posts. its been a month so probably her interest has died down a bit.... we'll see if I can deliver.. otherwise.. NEXT. thanks guys.

Look, I'm hardly the most experienced guy on this forum. I'm still REALLY BAD at picking up girls. I was a virgin until a year ago. But one thing I got from all those years of nerdliness, was this: I never learned how to do things the WRONG way. And you are going about this the WRONG way.

I said it before, I'll say it again. Never be in a position where you're dependent on the girl to make the next move. It's not a game of chess, it's a game of predator/prey. Every time you make contact with her (email, phone, text) you're going to have to re-game her. It's essentially a cold call, except she has some deeply covered residual feelings that "this guy was fun when i hung out with him".

Keep calling occasionally. Text her, and call her if she replies. Don't supplicate, game her.

And when you propose getting together, propose a specific plan. "Monday for drinks at XYZ bar", not "some time early next week".

 

[decades]

attention from an aw is well kinda like dog bites man. its "normal". you're competition with an AW is intense as there are plenty of "you" in line. I would search in more unexplored territory. not every great chick is an aw. don't waste your time on them.

 

[squirrels]

LOL...Preakness.

 

[Barbillus]

ok CoolRunning, I won't supplicate her when I contact her tomorrow, I will re-game her.

I'll let you know how it turns out... haha.

 

[Barbillus]

ok here is the update: I sent this girl a quick text on thurs and asked what she was up to tonight and I told her she needed to stop working so late haha. An hour later she responds via text and tells me she was just leaving work, that it has been a long week and is heading home b/c she is tired. -this was around 9PM -she asks me what I am up to. I respond and tell her im out in XYZ neigborhood.

the good is that she responded and engaged me back, the bad is that obviously she would come hang out if her interest level was sky high like I thought it was when I hung out w/ her 1 month ago. It must have tapered off, and/or she is seeing someone else. Should I just NEXT for good.. or still msg her in the future? In general do I need to be more aggressive with the 9s and 10s? How do you suggest I continue to game this girl with the goal of landing a one on one date?



On another note, I ran into a diff. girl last weekend at a bar late night in the city that I was friendly w/ from college. She is another 9/10 and knows it type. I grabbed her number and we talked about meeting for sushi. I give her a call this past Thurs evening while I was on my way to happy hour to see what she is up to and she answers, we chat a bit, I find out she is away for the weekend, but wants to go out next week. She says she is unsure of her work schedule yet and will call me next week to set up a day. Since you all say never be dependent on a girl to make the next move - which I agree with -My question to you guys is... HOW do you prevent this from happening in a conversation... when she says "I will call you.." what do you do/say to counter this?

 

[Vulpine]

How do you suggest I continue to game this girl with the goal of landing a one on one date?

You don't. Get on with life. Stop thinking about it. Move on.

Since you all say never be dependent on a girl to make the next move - which I agree with -My question to you guys is... HOW do you prevent this from happening in a conversation... when she says "I will call you.." what do you do/say to counter this?

You don't say anything to counter it. You hear it as "I'm not really into you, so, maybe I'll call if I'm bored and my lesbian lover is out of town."

That is, you hear it as "I will blow you off", and go about life as such: forget about it.

This way, if or when she does actually call, you are genuinely surprised, and your voice shows it.

But don't say "I didn't think you'd call". Instead, say, "how did you get my number?" Get it?

Get over these interactions right away. They mean nothing, won't amount to anything, and you can't do anything about them... until they turn into something more. Put them out of your head until that happens.

This preakness girl?

"Ooh, look at me, I'm popular! Yay! My phone is ringing! Hey everyone else at library/supermarket checkout line/Starbucks, look at me answering my phone! Wheeeee! I love Texty games! I'm popular - hee, hee! *dial, dial* OMG girlfriend, you'll never guess who texted me! I know, right? He's like soooo dumb, OMG! Like, get a clue already! Jeez! Ok, I gotta go, these people in the movie theatre are giving me nasty looks -ok, love ya! Ciao. Peace. Later gater. Sayonara... wouldn't wanna be ya! hhahahahaha... bye!"