Got girls number online - she replies to first text, not the second??

[Mr.Fantastic]

Ok, so I'm on OkCupid and I get this girls number, here is a transcript of the conversation that led to getting her number:


I message her (commenting on her profile):

Really good at drama hey?
cute girl who's good at drama...

dangerous combination... (SMILY FACE)
………………….
She says: Why on earth is that dangerous? (SMILY FACE) x
………………
I say: haha, dramatic girls can lead to all sorts of dangerous scenarios! Especially when they are dangerously good looking (WINKING FACE)

are you a dangerous girl?
………………..
She says: haha i am indeed and im a complete drama queen :/ not sure if thats a good thing or not x
…………..
Then she was checking out my profile again, and then she initiated an IM conversation a few moments later:

3:00:20 pm - Herhey
3:00:51 pm - Me: hello drama queen... (WINKING FACE)
[3:01:48 pm] how r u?
[3:02:55 pm]Her:i'm good
[3:03:31 pm]Me:loving the leggy pizza girl photo...
[3:03:48 pm]Her:haha yeah that seems to be a poular one
[3:04:09 pm]Heropular*
[3:04:09 pm]Me:hahaha
[3:04:19 pm]Me:do you deliver sexy pizza?
[3:05:07 pm]Her:no ive neva delivered a pizza in my life. that was a classic end to very drunken nite out haha
[3:06:14 pm]Me:haha, thought as much, if you turned up dressed ike that to deliver my pizza I would definitely invite you in for a slice...
[3:07:21 pm]Her:haha i actually think if police had seen me i would have got arrested. i stole the bike stole those sunglasses and could hardly stand up. shameful hey
[3:08:20 pm]Me:did you really steal the bike? lol
[3:08:49 pm]Her:i tried to. didnt work
[3:09:54 pm]Me:hahaha...you're like a female terminator, except a bit rubbish beacuse the bike didnt start! ha. Nice glasses though...I knew you were dangerous!
[3:10:31 pm]Her:i am dangerous wen mixed with alcohol
[3:12:21 pm]Her:i think i ended up just noking the bike ova coz it wouldnt co-operate
[3:12:44 pm]Me:Well now, I was going to ask you out for a drink, but I don't know if it's such a wise idea now! (WINKING FACE)
[3:13:02 pm]Her:well mabey not n
[3:14:44 pm]Me: ha, although if i'm there perhaps we can get the bike started this time and go for a ride!
[3:16:35 pm]Her: sounds like a plan. u get the bike, ill get the sunglasses
[3:19:09 pm]Me: excellent, you can be my biker babe, we will go on the run together all night...
[3:19:53 pm]Her: lol can we stop to sleep coz i get grumpy if i dont get eight hours lol
[3:20:10 pm]Her: its not sounding so exciting now is it
[3:20:13 pm]Her: (SMILY FACE)
[3:22:02 pm]Me: you're showing how dangerous you really are!
[3:22:14 pm]Her: haha
[3:22:43 pm]Her: real thrill seeker me
[3:24:34 pm]Me: ok then, i'll have you home by ten for cocoa and an episode of countdown, taped for earlier that day...
[3:25:26 pm]Her: make it corrie n uve got a deal (SMILY FACE)
[3:26:51 pm]Me: hahaha
[3:27:24 pm]Her:
[3:28:24 pm]Me: ok, so we are on for a corrie omnibus in bed! sounds good to me...
[3:28:53 pm]Her: Sounds beta than stealing a bike n spending a nite in prison lol
[3:29:48 pm]Me: haha, yeah, they'd give us seperate cells in prison, that would be no fun.
[3:30:08 pm]Her: im to pretty for prison lol
[3:30:36 pm]Me: hahahahaha
[3:30:43 pm]Me: dangerous enough though
[3:30:49 pm]Her: haha to rite
[3:31:22 pm]Me: so is your name actually Jennifer?
[3:31:40 pm]Her: of corse it is! why would i lie about my name lol
[3:32:07 pm]Me: haha, I dunno! people type in anything as their screenname!
[3:32:38 pm]Her: lol no its deffinatly Jennifer
[3:33:17 pm]Me: Well i'm John, it's good to meet you Jennifer, would be even better to meet you in real life. (SMILY FACE)
[3:33:32 pm]Her: lol nice to meet u
[3:33:40 pm]Her: what do u do for a living
[3:34:05 pm]Me: I work in a law firm
[3:34:12 pm]Her: ooo get u
[3:34:39 pm]Me: haha, it's not as fancy as you imagine it
[3:35:10 pm]Me: but is pretty cool I guess
[3:35:30 pm]Me: you're job sounds really rewarding
[3:37:44 pm]Her:it is. i love it
[3:38:36 pm]Me:you must be a very caring person. I like that in a girl.
[3:38:52 pm]Her:i am (SMILY FACE) very positive again
[3:38:58 pm]Her:aswell*
[3:40:53 pm]Me:well you sound delicious, I could just eat you.
[3:41:08 pm]Her:u could eat me? : / hmm
[3:41:18 pm]Me:hahaha
[3:41:32 pm]Me:figuratively speaking, of course!
[3:42:04 pm]Herf course (SMILY FACE)
[3:43:35 pm]Me:anyway Jennifer, I have to go unfortunately, but would love to chat to you some more, do you have a number? prefer to chat in person!
[3:44:01 pm]Her:no im the only person in the world without a phone number
[3:44:53 pm]Me:ha, touche!
[3:45:11 pm]Her:its XXXXXXX (EDITED OUT)
[3:45:57 pm]Me:great, I might give you a ring a bit later if you're around...
[3:46:19 pm]Her:im working tonite unfortuantly. feel free to text me any time though
ok, speak to you soon...be good!
[3:48:05 pm]Her:as always (SMILY FACE)


Ok, so the next day I send her a text message which was 'Ok Jennifer, I've thought about it and instead of motor bikes, we should steal an AIRPLANE, then we can lay in bed and watch TV in an exotic country, what say you? (SMILY FACE)'

she replies about an hour later with: 'ahh, thats such a good plan! one problem...i have no clue how to fly a plane and im assuming you dont! haha x'

so i reply about 40 mins later:'Ha! Ok little miss smart pants, lets hear your idea of a good time! And don't say sleeping! '

and she didn't reply....


what should I do???

 

[Iceberg]

Wow. This sounds like it was scripted from Revenge of the Nerds 12: Nerding Online. How about you just f**kin say, "What are you up to Thursday? Let's get a drink." instead of texting cute little jokes. Work on your conversation skills. You sound like a 12 year old.

Holy f**k. "I like your picture! (Smiley face)" "It's really cute (WINK)." Grow up, dude.

A- Spend less time with your gay chats.
B- Stop caring about girls who you don't even know.

Wow. You instant messaged her for 45 minutes and she didn't respond to your text. What a disaster.

 

[shyguy32]

Haha...Iceberg!!

You built her up to be the best thing you could ever get in that whole conversation and I didn't see one time where you made the convo about YOU.

No ****y/funny **** at all.....no I'm better than you **** at all....you basically became her 80's teen movie best friend!! Why didn't you send her a mixed tape to say how much you loved her and how special she is?

That conversation could have gone A LOT better! Quit giving them so much power, quit making her think she's the **** and start making her think YOU ARE!

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

OK, give me some examples of some ****ey n funny shnit i could have said there?

I'm a bit lost, I thought it was ok till she didn't reply....

 

[LuisGarcia10]

The thing is, it's not necessarily anything that you did wrong.
There was a girl on plentyoffish who clicked the "want to meet you" thing on my profile, I messaged her, she replied then ignored my reply to her message.

Online dating is very easy to speak to multiple people at the same time, I am in fact meeting 2 women from the same site myself who don't know about each other obviously. There is every chance that this girl had about 4 guys texcting her and someone who she was more interested in replied.

As others have said, your conversation was far from brilliant but dating online really is a numbers game, the more you speak to the more you date. And I have just stopped replying to girls out of the blue as well, if they bore me etc then there's just no point wasting time/phone credit on them.

 

[Iceberg]

OK, give me some examples of some ****ey n funny shnit i could have said there?

I'm a bit lost, I thought it was ok till she didn't reply....

That conversation was terrible. I'm not looking through it again to insert ****y/funny stuff. I could only get halfway through the first time.

First thing you should have done was cut off the conversation at 10 minutes. If she was interested enough to initiate contact, then she was interested enough to give you her number without much fuss.

You: Hey drama girl.
Her: Hi.
You: Blah blah blah. Mindless chatter
Her: Blah blah
You: So where do you hang out around here?
Her: I go to X Bar.
You: Have you ever been to Z Bar?
Her: No.
You: I think you'd love it. Let's go there. What's your number?
Her: 55555
You: Cool. We'll find something fun to do. I gotta head out. Let's catch up later.

Also, once again. It's some random broad on the internet. You never had her in the first place, so don't get all beat up about "losing" her. You think that's hard? Try meeting girls at clubs, getting their number, and not getting responses. Try going on dates, and not getting responses.

Toughen up, buddy. You're barely dipping your toes in the water and you're already panicking. "Random internet chick didn't respond to my text. What do I do!?!?!"

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

Yeah, those last posts made a lot of sense. I realise its a numbers game, and i'm not too bothered, because obviously there were other guys contacting her, but I'm eager to learn here, so if anyone can give me some ****ey and funny sorts of responses that I could have said rather than my 'nerdy' conversation, i'd be grateful.

Is it worth texting her again? Or sending her a quick message again on okcupid?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Yeah, those last posts made a lot of sense. I realise its a numbers game, and i'm not too bothered, because obviously there were other guys contacting her, but I'm eager to learn here, so if anyone can give me some ****ey and funny sorts of responses that I could have said rather than my 'nerdy' conversation, i'd be grateful.

Is it worth texting her again? Or sending her a quick message again on okcupid?

****y & Funny:

That has to become a part of your personality. You can't just have other people think it up for you. It'll sound scripted.


Is it worth texting her again?

Tell us how long ago this life-changing event happened. Was it today? Was it 3 days ago?

 

[runner83]

There's plenty of examples of ****y and funny and it needs to be tailored to the situation.

Iceberg has given the best advice.

Send her one more text - something along the lines of "Let's meet up. xxxx bar at [TIME]".

The online / texting has gone on long enough - you need to get her to put up or shut up.

If she doesn't respond, delete the number.

If she responds but says she can't make it at that time but offers no alternative, delete the number.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

To be honest, I don't talk to a girl thinking "I need to be ****y/funny," I just make a joke if I get the chance to. Online dating I mainly tend to talk about interesting subjects, such as their job, at the end of the day women love to talk about themselves. I also don't bother mentioning that they're good looking in their picture, at the end of the day it's obvious you think she's hot, otherwise you wouldn't be messaging her- plus I personally think it looks quite creepy.

Just engage her like a normal human being, ask her questions relative to her, get her talking about herself, mention what you do as well obviously. I dunno, I haven;'t made any extra special game plan with girls I speak to online, just got talking to them and seen where it goes. You DO need to come across as different from every other idiot messaging her though, provide interesting, unique, thought provoking conversation. At the end of the day you are basically trying to get her to think that meeting you in person is a good idea, I personally think you do that my providing interesting conversation. You want her to leave the convo thinking, that guy has actually made me think a bit differently about such and such, then she is going to think you're different, and worth her time. The girl I'm meeting next week told me that she was about to leave the website permanently until I messaged her, whether that's true or not I don't know but the point is that I must have done something to seperate myself from all the idiots that also message her.

There is no guarenteed formula for success but asking about her job, he life etc and then going on to actually discuss it rather than using cliched lines like "your job sounds really rewarding" is a good start.

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

It was two days ago. If I message her it'll have to be tomorrow, which is a friday. What day do you think is best to suggest to go out (I assume suggesting that day would look desperate and suggesting saturday would suggest I have no life) so, what, monday? tuesday?

 

[Iceberg]

To be honest, I don't talk to a girl thinking "I need to be ****y/funny," I just make a joke if I get the chance to. Online dating I mainly tend to talk about interesting subjects, such as their job, at the end of the day women love to talk about themselves. I also don't bother mentioning that they're good looking in their picture, at the end of the day it's obvious you think she's hot, otherwise you wouldn't be messaging her- plus I personally think it looks quite creepy.

So f**king true. The act of conversing with her already indicates physical attraction. There's no need to start talking about how cute/sexy she looks 10 minutes into your first conversation. It's super creepy.

There is no guarenteed formula for success but asking about her job, he life etc and then going on to actually discuss it rather than using cliched lines like "your job sounds really rewarding" is a good start.

Once again....f**kin true. Just converse like a normal human being. Women get all kinds of messages from fat, mustached creeps all day. The guy who's making interesting discussion about fun topics is the guy who stands out. That corny pickup line stuff is what the other 95% of guys are doing. "Your job sounds really rewarding." "You look cute in that dress." Any mindless moron could say that.

It was two days ago. If I message her it'll have to be tomorrow, which is a friday. What day do you think is best to suggest to go out (I assume suggesting that day would look desperate and suggesting saturday would suggest I have no life) so, what, monday? tuesday?

Just pick a day and make it work. From the sound of things, you only have a 10% chance of success anyway. Make a decision for yourself. Otherwise, just give me the girl's number, let me go on the date pretending to be you, and let me bang her.

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

hahaha, thanks for the replies guys. I tell you what, I havn't been on this site in a looooooong time and I forgot what the vibe was like round here. You guys are so straight talking and ball breaking it is quite refreshing. Some of the comments have made me think to myself 'hey fvck you - who the fvck do you think you are!' which is exactly the sort of vibe I need to have more of.

Good stuff.

 

[BBbardot]

Ok, so I'm on OkCupid and I get this girls number, here is a transcript of the conversation that led to getting her number:


I message her (commenting on her profile):

Really good at drama hey?
cute girl who's good at drama...

dangerous combination... (SMILY FACE)
………………….
She says: Why on earth is that dangerous? (SMILY FACE) x
………………
I say: haha, dramatic girls can lead to all sorts of dangerous scenarios! Especially when they are dangerously good looking (WINKING FACE)

are you a dangerous girl?
………………..
She says: haha i am indeed and im a complete drama queen :/ not sure if thats a good thing or not x
…………..
Then she was checking out my profile again, and then she initiated an IM conversation a few moments later:

3:00:20 pm - Herhey
3:00:51 pm - Me: hello drama queen... (WINKING FACE)
[3:01:48 pm] how r u?
[3:02:55 pm]Her:i'm good
[3:03:31 pm]Me:loving the leggy pizza girl photo...
[3:03:48 pm]Her:haha yeah that seems to be a poular one
[3:04:09 pm]Heropular*
[3:04:09 pm]Me:hahaha
[3:04:19 pm]Me:do you deliver sexy pizza?
[3:05:07 pm]Her:no ive neva delivered a pizza in my life. that was a classic end to very drunken nite out haha
[3:06:14 pm]Me:haha, thought as much, if you turned up dressed ike that to deliver my pizza I would definitely invite you in for a slice...
[3:07:21 pm]Her:haha i actually think if police had seen me i would have got arrested. i stole the bike stole those sunglasses and could hardly stand up. shameful hey
[3:08:20 pm]Me:did you really steal the bike? lol
[3:08:49 pm]Her:i tried to. didnt work
[3:09:54 pm]Me:hahaha...you're like a female terminator, except a bit rubbish beacuse the bike didnt start! ha. Nice glasses though...I knew you were dangerous!
[3:10:31 pm]Her:i am dangerous wen mixed with alcohol
[3:12:21 pm]Her:i think i ended up just noking the bike ova coz it wouldnt co-operate
[3:12:44 pm]Me:Well now, I was going to ask you out for a drink, but I don't know if it's such a wise idea now! (WINKING FACE)
[3:13:02 pm]Her:well mabey not n
[3:14:44 pm]Me: ha, although if i'm there perhaps we can get the bike started this time and go for a ride!
[3:16:35 pm]Her: sounds like a plan. u get the bike, ill get the sunglasses
[3:19:09 pm]Me: excellent, you can be my biker babe, we will go on the run together all night...
[3:19:53 pm]Her: lol can we stop to sleep coz i get grumpy if i dont get eight hours lol
[3:20:10 pm]Her: its not sounding so exciting now is it
[3:20:13 pm]Her: (SMILY FACE)
[3:22:02 pm]Me: you're showing how dangerous you really are!
[3:22:14 pm]Her: haha
[3:22:43 pm]Her: real thrill seeker me
[3:24:34 pm]Me: ok then, i'll have you home by ten for cocoa and an episode of countdown, taped for earlier that day...
[3:25:26 pm]Her: make it corrie n uve got a deal (SMILY FACE)
[3:26:51 pm]Me: hahaha
[3:27:24 pm]Her:
[3:28:24 pm]Me: ok, so we are on for a corrie omnibus in bed! sounds good to me...
[3:28:53 pm]Her: Sounds beta than stealing a bike n spending a nite in prison lol
[3:29:48 pm]Me: haha, yeah, they'd give us seperate cells in prison, that would be no fun.
[3:30:08 pm]Her: im to pretty for prison lol
[3:30:36 pm]Me: hahahahaha
[3:30:43 pm]Me: dangerous enough though
[3:30:49 pm]Her: haha to rite
[3:31:22 pm]Me: so is your name actually Jennifer?
[3:31:40 pm]Her: of corse it is! why would i lie about my name lol
[3:32:07 pm]Me: haha, I dunno! people type in anything as their screenname!
[3:32:38 pm]Her: lol no its deffinatly Jennifer
[3:33:17 pm]Me: Well i'm John, it's good to meet you Jennifer, would be even better to meet you in real life. (SMILY FACE)
[3:33:32 pm]Her: lol nice to meet u
[3:33:40 pm]Her: what do u do for a living
[3:34:05 pm]Me: I work in a law firm
[3:34:12 pm]Her: ooo get u
[3:34:39 pm]Me: haha, it's not as fancy as you imagine it
[3:35:10 pm]Me: but is pretty cool I guess
[3:35:30 pm]Me: you're job sounds really rewarding
[3:37:44 pm]Her:it is. i love it
[3:38:36 pm]Me:you must be a very caring person. I like that in a girl.
[3:38:52 pm]Her:i am (SMILY FACE) very positive again
[3:38:58 pm]Her:aswell*
[3:40:53 pm]Me:well you sound delicious, I could just eat you.
[3:41:08 pm]Her:u could eat me? : / hmm
[3:41:18 pm]Me:hahaha
[3:41:32 pm]Me:figuratively speaking, of course!
[3:42:04 pm]Herf course (SMILY FACE)
[3:43:35 pm]Me:anyway Jennifer, I have to go unfortunately, but would love to chat to you some more, do you have a number? prefer to chat in person!
[3:44:01 pm]Her:no im the only person in the world without a phone number
[3:44:53 pm]Me:ha, touche!
[3:45:11 pm]Her:its XXXXXXX (EDITED OUT)
[3:45:57 pm]Me:great, I might give you a ring a bit later if you're around...
[3:46:19 pm]Her:im working tonite unfortuantly. feel free to text me any time though
ok, speak to you soon...be good!
[3:48:05 pm]Her:as always (SMILY FACE)


Ok, so the next day I send her a text message which was 'Ok Jennifer, I've thought about it and instead of motor bikes, we should steal an AIRPLANE, then we can lay in bed and watch TV in an exotic country, what say you? (SMILY FACE)'

she replies about an hour later with: 'ahh, thats such a good plan! one problem...i have no clue how to fly a plane and im assuming you dont! haha x'

so i reply about 40 mins later:'Ha! Ok little miss smart pants, lets hear your idea of a good time! And don't say sleeping! '

and she didn't reply....


what should I do???

she speaks english worse than i do. It should "deffinatly" bee ey turn hauff
other than that you didn't do bad.

and they are not right when they say you shouldn't creep on her. Girls love cute interesting guys to creep on them. Their desire is fed by yours a lot. (facts)
she probably didn't come up with something funny to say, just tell her:

"aah it's ok if you don't have a better idea, let me just take control on this one..."

 

[LuisGarcia10]

In regards for how long to wait to text her again, I dunno, tomorrow?
Doesn't matter anyway, the great thing about online dating is that you have a million and one opportunities. Use this to your advantage, you have unlimited "practice" girls, message girls different opening approaches, see what works for you. If they don't reply it doesn't matter because there's loads more, and you have another website in plenty of fish.com to use as well.

She is a nothing girl, you haven't even spent an hour talking to her, instead of asking us how to get her interest level back up, if it indeed ever was up, you should just be messaging loads of women- assuming you don't look like medusa then some will reply, although it goes without saying that most won't.

As far as I'm concerned, until I actually meet the woman, or at least build up strong rapport, she is just an internet based computer game, see what works in terms of building up her interest level, but if you fail and she ignores you it's game over and you start from level 1 again with a new girl. I like online dating because there is no risk factor, it's far easier to not give a **** because you haven't spent 10 minutes in a bar pretending to care about her bullsh!t just to get her phone number, therefore there's far less fear of loss.

 

[omkara]

Their desire is fed by yours a lot. (facts)

+ 1

This is something that actually doesn't get brought up a lot because a) it's kinda obvious and b) the AFC tendency is to take this all out of proportion. According to social psychology, a big factor in how much people like us is how much they think we like them. It's human nature. It just has to come from a place of, 'I'm a cool guy with options, I could take it or leave it.'

Incidentally, another factor which influences how much people like us is how much they think we know about them. For example, if you have a detailed conversation about something in their life that is meaningful to that person, they will feel more of a connection to you than just if you talked about some random generic stuff.

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

ok guys, I'l text her later on today, something along the lines of 'so we should go for a drink, how does monday suit you?' and see how she responds...

or, 'Ok airplanes are out, lets go for a drink, how does monday suit you?'

 

[escaleraroyal]

4+ years in SS and u ****ing dont know what to do. R u kidding me? N u r listening to a bunch of newbies? good luck buddy.

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

SCREW YOU FVCKERS SHE REPLIED!

ACTUALLY, thanks, I needed the kick up the ass. I'm definitely going to try and keep things ****y and funny from now on...that shnit can get stale if its not kept in check.


So I text her: 'Lame!! Too much sleep and no play makes Jennifer a dull girl! And who said I could'nt fly a plane? Lets go for a drink and i'll show you what other talents I have...'

she replies, fairly quickly: 'U telling me u can fly a plane? Thats something ive got to C x'

I reply: 'Ha! I don't just take anyone back to my air base, you gotta be worth the ride, and the only way i'm going to know that is to meet you. Whats better for you, monday or tuesday?'

She replies: 'Neither, sorry but I work evenings x'

I reply: 'Boo! Well, how about tomorrow afternoon? Could grab a coffee or something, or I have a day off on wednesday.'

She replies: 'Im working from eleven tomoro. I mite be around wendsday afternoon ill have to check my rota tomorro x'


and thats how i've left it. Comments?

 

[Mantis Toboggan]

Well at least you're being upfront about meeting her. Instead of 45 minute conversations talking about puppy dogs and ice cream.

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you don't get a lot of numbers from girls do you? You seem way too interested in this one random internet girl who you've never even met. You'd think you had a hot makeout session in a nightclub or something. And your conversation is still seriously lame. "Let's go for a drink and I'll show you what other talents I have." Yeah...that's not creepy at all.

I'm sorry. I'm busting your chops because you need to toughen up a bit. This girl isn't worth all these questions. All this texting, and worrying...you could still meet her and find out that you two don't like each other.

Back to your question: You gave this girl like 3 different days you could meet her and she rejected them all. Anything can happen, but I'd leave it up to her to set things up. If she were serious, she'd make a hardcore counteroffer "I can't do Mon or Tues, but can we do Thursday at 4pm?" That kind of thing.

But hey anything can happen.