Got a call from a restricted number today

[RMM]

Women will sh!t test men as autonomously and subconsciously as a men will stare at a woman's big boobs.

You know, I've read this quite a few times in this site, but I just can't see it being subconscious. With the way the woman waits for the answer to her sh!t test, expectant, and the reaction (anger if you don't pass, vag liquefaction if you do), I can see it as perfectly conscious. Now, the thing is that it may be hard to reconcile that with it being somehow "evil", but just something that is in their nature and they can't help doing. But I just don't see any subconsciousness in it. They may not usually plan them ahead, but they are perfectly aware of it when they see a chance and go for it.

 

[Serg897]

This is amazing. I wish I had the strength to act like this sometimes, to stick to my guns.

I salute you, sir.

 

[DJDamage]

quick, change your number tomorrow so she can't call you when she changes her mind.
do it.
i dare you!
cause it's hilarious and you know deep down that it's the right thing to do.

I got even a better idea.

Let Sam hook up with another girl and let her answer the phone when his ex calls him.

Sam's new girl: Hello?

Sam's ex: ahh hello? who is this?

Sam's new girl: I am Sam's girlfriend, who is this?!

Now that's what I call checkmate.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

But I just don't see any subconsciousness in it. They may not usually plan them ahead, but they are perfectly aware of it when they see a chance and go for it.

You left out the second part of my last post; "even when they are aware of it, they'll still do it anyway." It's autonomous and subconscious, but that doesn't mean they don't become aware of it. I see my 11 y.o. daughter sh!t test boys her own age now. She's not aware she's doing it, nor is she aware that she's learned (or developed) a capacity to vet boys by sh!t testing. Now, I could overtly tell her, or any adult woman for that matter, "hey, you're sh!t testing the guy like that because you're gauging his acceptability for mating" and most would vehemently deny it because they think that this testing is normalcy; it's "just how things are" and it's normal. Either that or they'll turn on the shame for the guy being tested for not knowing "how things ought to be".

Of course, some more self-aware women may accept the validity of what I exposed for them, but what I'd have done was make them aware of a subconscious process. And women hate to have been 'found out' because it defeats their sense of unknowable feminine mystique that is so useful to them with men. And furthermore, as I stated before, even after they're aware of sh!t testing, they'll still continue to do so.

SAM, yes, women will ALWAYS have some capacity to sh!t test you, even the ones (especially the ones) you feel the most secure with. This is just a fact of life, and honestly, once you learn to recognize and defuse them you'll have much better relations with women. Seeing, predicting and passing a woman's sh!t test is an outward sign of a Man's maturity and confidence. When you successfully deflect or pass a woman's sh!t test you're covertly communicating to her that you've dealt with them before from prior experience (i.e. you're desirable to other women), women are in fact knowable to you (her feminine mystique jig is up) and her respect increases because you are aware of her tests and still choose to be with her in spite of herself. Thusly does frame control pass back to you, so long as you're able to maintain it by passing her occasional stabs at testing to see if you're really are who you've impressed upon her.

Always remember that a woman's primary need is security. This is an innate need, both biologically and psychologically. It's a combination of nature and nurture for them; their natural imperative tells them they need security so they build psychological constructs (like sh!t tests) and learn (or nurture) methods to ensure their security. This doesn't make them neurotic or flaky (though it certainly seems that way to the more rational male), it just makes them women, and the more you pass these trials the easier they are to predict and defuse.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

You know, I've read this quite a few times in this site, but I just can't see it being subconscious. With the way the woman waits for the answer to her sh!t test, expectant, and the reaction (anger if you don't pass, vag liquefaction if you do), I can see it as perfectly conscious. Now, the thing is that it may be hard to reconcile that with it being somehow "evil", but just something that is in their nature and they can't help doing. But I just don't see any subconsciousness in it. They may not usually plan them ahead, but they are perfectly aware of it when they see a chance and go for it.

Almost all of it is subconscious. Hell, every woman I know does it and they treat me with respect but these tests just "pop out". It's nothing personal. If there isn't some shiat going down where I can do my "man stuff", girls probe around automatically to reassure themselves that I'm still the guy they think (feel, really) I am.

They're not aware of it because it's things they've picked up from other women (social conditioning) things that are prewired, and things they've stumbled on for themselves. It's like you know people who pick their nose and are totally oblivious to it but you think "damn, he's got to realize he's yanking out a goober right in front of everyone"...but, he's not. It's a habit he's done 10,000 times and he has no friggin clue how nasty it is unless someone calls him on it.

The same is with tests girls do. Most everything they do is emotionally based and they're not really thinking things like men do. They just feel an urge to {whatever} and they do it. If called on it they'll retroactively (unconciously) justify it, change the subject, or get upset unless you do it in a careful manner. I don't bother calling them on it unless it's a female friend and I'm trying to indicate that they have a test that'll drive even most good men away. For girls I'm interested in, I don't call them on their tests. I either bust em on it in a calm/amusing way so it won't happen again or ignore it depending on what the test is.

Women don't run around thinking "i'm an evil biatch and i'm playing games/tests as part of my plan to cause wanton destruction"...well, there are a few, but those are the cluster head cases. But, normally, they really have no idea they're doing it. It's like guys who follow women around the house in a needy way to the point of bugging her even if she's trying to go to the bathroom. The woman assumes the guy knows that he's driving her farking nuts by doing that but the guy thinks he's being caring and such. He really has no idea that what he's doing is going to get him dumped soon. Yet, it's completely obvious to anyone who's not needy and it seems impossible he doesn't realize what he's doing.

All girls who are interested in you will test you...even if they're doggie-dinner-bowl in love with you and think you're the most perfect man in the world. They're designed that way because it's the only way their weaker sex can get really solid information about your strength, confidence, and other attributes. Women can only have so many children but men are only limited by the amount of time it takes to recharge and find another woman. So, nature has given them this defense/strategy to select the best males to reproduce with.

REPEAT: They are all designed that way. They all do it. You'll miss it if you're thinking about outcomes (getting laid) or insecure chatter inside your head instead of perceiving the moment as you are living it in life.

It's hard for you to see it but if you ever accomplish "living in the now" and are just flowing with what's going on around you, you'll see it everywhere and just accept it for what it naturally is, a Good Thing. I LOVE testing.

Seeing, predicting and passing a woman's sh!t test is an outward sign of a Man's maturity and confidence. When you successfully deflect or pass a woman's sh!t test you're covertly communicating to her that you've dealt with them before from prior experience (i.e. you're desirable to other women), women are in fact knowable to you (her feminine mystique jig is up) and her respect increases because you are aware of her tests and still choose to be with her in spite of herself.

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. I love testing and actually like it when a girl blindsides me with a combination of tests that I haven't seen before (not the tests, the precise mix that gets put together). It's like being forged in fire and makes me better as a man than I was before the test because I intelligently take care of it using the Right Path for myself and my abilities become more refined.

 

[RMM]

First off, I wasn't trying to intentionally leave anything out Rollo, just thought that quoting the whole thing wouldn't be necessary.

I understand what you guys are saying, but here's the thing. When someone does something, that someone typically expects an outcome. If a woman is testing you, she's expecting something. She's expecting the nice pleasure feeling in her brain when you pass with flying colours and gets a feeling of reassurance. It's not like she's thinking of "testing" you, it's that she has picked that way of acting because it feels good when she's with an "appropriate" man.

Mate selection may be the reason behind the process of sh!t testing, and she may not even be aware of it, but the act of **** testing is done consciously because it feels good when the guy comes around and says the right thing, hence why they get pissed if you don't pass, you've denied her of that feeling.

Calling her on it is trying to "put her on your shoes", but she doesn't care about that, she cares about the fact that it feels good. But saying "I don't care how you feel" is not socially acceptable yet (give feminism a few more years and we'll get there, for women anyway), so she gets in conflict between the idea that you shouldn't be nasty to other people, and the fact that testing feels good.

Hence, pass and don't call them on it (well, except for the amusement factor sometimes; try it, it's funny).

Note that I'm not thinking they're evil or being pissed at them, I mean, it'd be cool if we had wings too, but hey, things are what they are, no point crying over spilled milk instead of eating the cookies.

Obviously I could be wrong, after all I'm less experienced. It's hard to pass **** tests when you're not even interested in the exchanges in the first place

 

[SamMalone]

Update on this one:

Surprisingly, this girl has not contacted me since she came up to my work. She has a friend on both of ours that she works with. I met up with this friend today. She told me that girlfriend and her went to lunch this week and this is what she had to say:

-Girllfriend confirmed that this wasn't a real breakup, she didn't want to break up with me, but that I wouldnt "meet her halfway" and she is trying to make me realize I was wrong (wouldn't let her go out to the clubs, although she still insists that it is not ok for me to go

-Girlfriend said that she is giving me until valentines day to get her back (I've already taken her present back)

-Said that I was saying bad things about mutual friend (I wasn't)

-Said that she cut back on sex the last two months on purpose and that I would have to marry her to get it all the time, which is really what she wants. She also can't understand "what I'm waiting for" (Marriage isn't even on my radar, especially to her)

Normally, I'd be mad about this. But now I see there is more to this than meets the eye. I thought....she knows I'm closer to mutual friend than her. She EXPECTED mutual friend to tell me this stuff, either to let me know if I make a big move she will get back with me or (more likely) that she EXPECTS me to come up to her place and yell at her, make a big scene, she apologize and then we make up. I believe that she LIKES the fighting and the drama, and thats why she is making a problem of nothing like this.

No contact for sure. If I happen to run into her, which I'm sure I will soon because of our social circle, I am not going to fall into the trap and fight with her. I will be pleasant but brief with her.

 

[katatonia]

-Girllfriend confirmed that this wasn't a real breakup, she didn't want to break up with me, but that I wouldnt "meet her halfway" and she is trying to make me realize I was wrong (wouldn't let her go out to the clubs, although she still insists that it is not ok for me to go

Her power move to take control of the relationship failed and now she is backpedaling.

-Girlfriend said that she is giving me until valentines day to get her back (I've already taken her present back)

She wants you to chase her (ie. put herself in the position of power).

-Said that I was saying bad things about mutual friend (I wasn't)

She is lying to manipulate the social group. Ding ding attention wh0re alert!

-Said that she cut back on sex the last two months on purpose and that I would have to marry her to get it all the time, which is really what she wants. She also can't understand "what I'm waiting for" (Marriage isn't even on my radar, especially to her)

She is using sex as a weapon and manipulation tool. Don't you dare marry her.

Normally, I'd be mad about this.

She wants you to be.

But now I see there is more to this than meets the eye. I thought....she knows I'm closer to mutual friend than her. She EXPECTED mutual friend to tell me this stuff, either to let me know if I make a big move she will get back with me or (more likely) that she EXPECTS me to come up to her place and yell at her, make a big scene, she apologize and then we make up. I believe that she LIKES the fighting and the drama, and thats why she is making a problem of nothing like this.

Yep that's what she wants. She wants the drama because she is an attention-seeking slvt. Don't give her ANY reaction at all, and if she brings up any of this bullsh1t just ignore her.

No contact for sure. If I happen to run into her, which I'm sure I will soon because of our social circle, I am not going to fall into the trap and fight with her. I will be pleasant but brief with her.

I'd straight up ignore her to her face after that disrespectful sh1t and lies she pulled. That's by far your best choice of action. Wait for her to apologise for her crap (she knows what she did) and then you can get on with your lives.

 

[Joe Stud]

excellent performance young dj! and ... I'm in agreement with the kitten: change your phone number. c'mon, it will be fun, you will drive her nuts! lol

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

Update on this one:

Surprisingly, this girl has not contacted me since she came up to my work. She has a friend on both of ours that she works with. I met up with this friend today. She told me

I don't understand why you now have a third party involved at this point.

You were doing perfect up until this point and you weakened.

She EXPECTED mutual friend to tell me this stuff

She expected you to weaken and get curious. She was right...and YOU'RE surprised?!?

Why have you stopped doing it right? You were 10/10 and now you're using a third party to get crappy disinformation about a situation you're not supposed to care about. Now, your ex knows your weak spot and she will manipulate you with it by feeding the information she wants to get you. She's gaining power over you again and it's encouraging her to go for more.

Damn dude, get it together again. Don't talk with people you know about her. That's girl stuff. Go back to where you had things under control. Flat out tell this person you are not interested in gossiping about her anymore.

Girls can do massive manipulation with gossip, they've been doing it all of their lives. For instance, let's say you don't trust anything girl X says, but she knows you trust or like person Y in general. Girl X feeds what she wants said (for whatever effect she wants) to person Y. Person Y gives a distorted transmission (depending on person Y's motives) and you get garbage^2 to mess with your head because your brain automatically gives more weight to what person Y says even though you would give it very little weight if girl X said it directly. Person Y sees your reaction and hears what you said and sends back a distorted version of that to girl X. Person X and Y both have power that they otherwise would not have over you and your thoughts/feelings.

Don't gossip. Never put someone in the middle of your relationships even if you don't see the person anymore. Don't listen to what other people say about people you know. There are too many variables for motives and errors in understanding plus the power factor to ever bother with it.

 

[HalfAddict]

^This..

But yes totally awesome Sam, you get a virtual high five.

 

[RMM]

Huh? The way I read it, the mutual friend is a friend of his, and they were just meeting because of that, not to get any information on the girl. But maybe I'm wrong.

 

[SamMalone]

No, I was not trying to get information nor did I even bring my ex up. It was brought up by my friend and I basically just listened and kept my mouth shut, so I don't see whats wrong there.

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

No, I was not trying to get information nor did I even bring my ex up. It was brought up by my friend and I basically just listened and kept my mouth shut, so I don't see whats wrong there.

It's not what's wrong, it's about a huge girl trap she's working on.

I guess I wasn't clear. She did this purposely and got the result she wanted. Confirmation that she can communicate what she wants to you.

Even just this blatantly says it:

Girlfriend said that she is giving me until valentines day to get her back

That and the rest was purposely spoonfed to your mutual friend with the intent for it be delivered to you and you accepted delivery.

Surprisingly, this girl has not contacted me since she came up to my work. She has a friend on both of ours that she works with. I met up with this friend today

She has contacted you since she came up. She did it today. This is the tactic she's switched to for communication.

Re-read what I wrote. Don't engage in gossip about someone. Even if you're just listening you're still a party to it.

Just trying to help man. You're doing awesome...you just need to see that she's found a weak spot, a way to completely nullify your "no contact" by using a pawn in the middle. She's now discovered that you'll listen to what she has to say if she uses someone else to do it.

She's handing down her ultimatums and has someone to tell her how you're reacting to them as well as being told you want to listen. From her viewpoint, you're back to communicating with her.

Huh? The way I read it, the mutual friend is a friend of his, and they were just meeting because of that, not to get any information on the girl. But maybe I'm wrong.

He wasn't trying to get information, she was trying to get it to him. That's what I meant.

She pulling out one of the biggest manipulation guns in her arsenal. That's what I'm warning him about.

Even passively listening to the messages she's crafting to be delivered by someone he would trust more than her is a very bad idea because she's waiting for feedback on how her script was received and she'll craft her next ones in light of what she discovers.

Her need for control of him is obsessive to the point that she doesn't even care how her demands are seen by the third party in the middle between them (valentine's deadline? heh).

To her, when she gets feedback about him wanting to hear what she has to say, "no contact" is completely gone. Even him passively listening encourages her because if he really really really wanted to move on why in the hell would he spend his time listening to what she has to say about their relationship through a third party?

He wouldn't. So, to her chick logic, he's still weak and she can get the upper hand by doing things the way she's now doing them. He had her off balance but she's got a new game plan. The only way he can throw her back off balance like she was is to not listen to messages she's having delivered to him. As soon as she hears "Sam wasn't interested in anything to do with you" (no return receipt of delivery by the pawn) she's right back where she was at the beginning of this thread and Sam's got it 100% back in control.

From all I can see, Sam deserves a woman 100x better than this one and he's on the right path.

 

[AFCToDJSlowButSurely]

wow what a crazy beatch, you done the right thing brosef.

 

[RMM]

Hm, I see what you mean ThatMysteriousGuy, thanks for the clarification. Makes sense.

 

[SamMalone]

Wow, never thought of that MysteriousGuy, thanks for the response.

 

[FreD_BeaR]

that truly is insightful

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

NEXT. Don't root back through the garbage can with this one, just NEXT her. If you even slightly entertain her after this, she wins. You have no reason to put out any more effort as you now know exactly what to expect in the long term.

Now, just for posterity's sake and to educate the brethren here, always understand this: Ultimatums are declarations of powerlessness. I want the power or else. This girl using a proxy to deliver that ultimatum is a prime indicator of her own insecurity. Essentially she's used her friend as a Buffer against actually dealing with you face-to-face.

What's truly ironic is that this girl is incapable of sustaining the healthy LTR she says she desires. Using a proxy to deliver an ultimatum only proves she lacks the maturity necessary to maintain a solid relationship.

Again, I'll advise a NEXT for any number of reasons, but understand that if she lacks the maturity to do her own dirty work - and rest assured she intended for you to "find out" her message via her friend - she will drop back into desperation mode after Valentines day. You're going to hear from this one again so be prepared for it. Do NOT backslide on this. There is no contrition, there is no compromise, there is no "I'll just keep her as a ƒuck buddy", just disconnect.

 

[Phenomenal One]

I understand what you guys are saying, but here's the thing. When someone does something, that someone typically expects an outcome. If a woman is testing you, she's expecting something. She's expecting the nice pleasure feeling in her brain when you pass with flying colours and gets a feeling of reassurance. It's not like she's thinking of "testing" you, it's that she has picked that way of acting because it feels good when she's with an "appropriate" man.

I feel the same way.
it's obvious that they're looking to the man to make a move,
and their response depends on what the man's response is to the sh*t test.

I feel that sh*t test are nothing more than a woman making the man she sees into the student and she into the teacher.
Just because a man gets better at passing test does'nt mask the fact that the testing will never end.
How can a man consider himself "the prize to be won", when he's tryin to constantly pass test to keep a woman's attraction ?