TesuqueRed
Master Don Juan
This really isn't about bartenders, it's just where I observed how a person extends themselves or doesn't.
Example of a bad bartender--the waitress is lousy (takes forever to get to your table) or is out of sight, so you go up to the bar to order drinks (I guess I could've ranted on good waiters / bad waiters.)
Bartender assiduously avoids eye-contact with everyone except when he decides he wants to make it and serve a drink--this only after cleaning a few glasses and doing other minor crap. Clearly we're dealing with a passive-aggressive insecure control freak. He makes you just stand there and wait. Say something and he'll jump in before you finish saying he's busy and will be with you, and then makes you wait longer.
This guy has a problem and is acting like a bytch by forcing his dominance with a silly game of withholding acknowledgement and making you go along until he's ready.
I could care less about his hang-ups (probably hasn't come to terms with having a small-dyck, IMHO), I just want to smile, say hi, share a joke and order a fvcking beer--and now I have to stand and wait while he plays some high-school put-down powertrip.
He shouldn't be bartending, he should be in psychotherapy.
A good bartender will--however swamped--look over and greet you, tell you he'll be with you in a minute and then, when he comes over, ask you what you want, crack a joke and produce the beer.
This guy "owns" the bar and the space around it in a way that the passive-aggressive fvck never will.
This got me thinking and looking at my own behavior, whether at work, on the street--whereever.
1st, attitude. Extend your sense of space outward to encompass the group you're in or the room you're in and consider yourself a "host" of that space. If someone comes in, do the following--
--acknowledge them by looking at them and making eye contact.
--acknowledge them by saying "hi"
--acknowledge them by giving a quick, simple smile.
--acknowledge them by introducing them to those they may not know yet.
What does this do?
You become socially engaging. People often approach a group and are very appreciative of 1) being recognized and 2) being included immediately. This small act--showing a touch of class--will get you remembered and liked for a long time afterwards.
You become the alpha-dude. You are the one who acknowledges and accepts people--not in the control-freak way of the bad bartender--show a little generousity, extend yourself so that others are invited in and you "own" the space more than some petty dictator who gets control by withholding acknowledgement(take away the beer and this guy's control over access to it and you have a lonely @sshole standing in a corner.)
You become the quiet center of attention. Women notice the social graces and appreciate it. Some guys notice it, others don't, but all of them appreciate it. You get remembered and the next time they see you will produce a positive reaction.
In another sense, by including others you are in the group, wherever you are, instead of being outside wishing you fit in. This is a mind-shift in perception--simple, tricky, and effective: you own the space.
Eye contact.
Smile.
Say hi.
Introduce people.
In short, extend your sense of space.
And give me my g0dd@mned beer!
Example of a bad bartender--the waitress is lousy (takes forever to get to your table) or is out of sight, so you go up to the bar to order drinks (I guess I could've ranted on good waiters / bad waiters.)
Bartender assiduously avoids eye-contact with everyone except when he decides he wants to make it and serve a drink--this only after cleaning a few glasses and doing other minor crap. Clearly we're dealing with a passive-aggressive insecure control freak. He makes you just stand there and wait. Say something and he'll jump in before you finish saying he's busy and will be with you, and then makes you wait longer.
This guy has a problem and is acting like a bytch by forcing his dominance with a silly game of withholding acknowledgement and making you go along until he's ready.
I could care less about his hang-ups (probably hasn't come to terms with having a small-dyck, IMHO), I just want to smile, say hi, share a joke and order a fvcking beer--and now I have to stand and wait while he plays some high-school put-down powertrip.
He shouldn't be bartending, he should be in psychotherapy.
A good bartender will--however swamped--look over and greet you, tell you he'll be with you in a minute and then, when he comes over, ask you what you want, crack a joke and produce the beer.
This guy "owns" the bar and the space around it in a way that the passive-aggressive fvck never will.
This got me thinking and looking at my own behavior, whether at work, on the street--whereever.
1st, attitude. Extend your sense of space outward to encompass the group you're in or the room you're in and consider yourself a "host" of that space. If someone comes in, do the following--
--acknowledge them by looking at them and making eye contact.
--acknowledge them by saying "hi"
--acknowledge them by giving a quick, simple smile.
--acknowledge them by introducing them to those they may not know yet.
What does this do?
You become socially engaging. People often approach a group and are very appreciative of 1) being recognized and 2) being included immediately. This small act--showing a touch of class--will get you remembered and liked for a long time afterwards.
You become the alpha-dude. You are the one who acknowledges and accepts people--not in the control-freak way of the bad bartender--show a little generousity, extend yourself so that others are invited in and you "own" the space more than some petty dictator who gets control by withholding acknowledgement(take away the beer and this guy's control over access to it and you have a lonely @sshole standing in a corner.)
You become the quiet center of attention. Women notice the social graces and appreciate it. Some guys notice it, others don't, but all of them appreciate it. You get remembered and the next time they see you will produce a positive reaction.
In another sense, by including others you are in the group, wherever you are, instead of being outside wishing you fit in. This is a mind-shift in perception--simple, tricky, and effective: you own the space.
Eye contact.
Smile.
Say hi.
Introduce people.
In short, extend your sense of space.
And give me my g0dd@mned beer!
