Go ahead, tell me how I screwed up...

[trevjr]

The short story;
Meet woman in my AFC days a few months ago.
Woman meets a friend of mine and falls for him.
My friend, Joe, is a jerk to women.
I know Joe's last 3 women and they all now say he is a jerk and an a**hole.
A week ago Joe tells me I can go out with Sue cuz he is done with her.
I meet Sue by accident and fall for her hard, she looks great and is all over me.
I stay up till 5am with Sue while she tells me how bad she feels because she got dumped by Joe.
I make date with Sue and spend all day with her having fun. I remember bible and we make out.
I email Joe and ask is it OK to call Sue.
Joe says no, I must wait 3 months.
I tell Sue, she laughs.
I tell Joe I am not calling Sue because I am dating someone else.
I tell Sue I told Joe this. Sue now mad at me because I lied.
1) I broke DJ rules because I have liked Sue for 5 months now and she needed someone to be nice to her.
2) Can I recover?
3) If she is on rebound should I stay away?
4) Damn, I know the answers already.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

lol

Man, all I can say is "wtf?". I hope someone else can help.

 

[drZaius09]

You are Sue's emotional rag. You waste all your resources to show her a little fun, including (and most importantly) your valuable time. She feels she "owes" you something for your efforts, so she makes out with you. No doubt she has somewhat of a physical attraction to you. HOWEVER, she is still 'in love' with Joe. She will never feel the same about you because you are a decent person, and she finds decent people impossible to respect. She will continue to use you for whatever she needs: a tampon to talk about her problems with a$$hole dudes (i.e. Joe and other men that get to have sex with her), plus someone to show her a good time, plus someone to make Joe jealous, and last but certainly not least, someone to give her ATTENTION.

Joe should have never been part of the equation here. You don't need his permission to talk to Sue. The only thing you accomplished by submitting to your friend was proving to Sue that you have no balls. Although I'm sure she suspected as much all along. THAT IS WHY SHE IS USING YOU.

 

[Oscar Wilde]

See? That's exactly what I was going to say

Thanks Dr. Zaius!

Osc.

 

[dontmindme]

Like a high school basketball coach screaming at his losing team: Rebound, rebound, rebound!

 

[trevjr]

I feel that things are not as black and white as they are presented sometimes here on the forum.
I am somewhat blinded by Sue's particular characteristics;
racial group that I like, we study the same art form, she is different from other women.
Now I could NEXT her and see her in class a few times a week and wonder what could have been or act like I met her for the 1st time and follow the DJ rules and see how it works.
Yeah, I know she is on the rebound but, why should this jerk get to mess her up and then I have to leave her alone?
DrZ, thanks for your answer but it assumes that she is consciously using me. We met again by accident, she is truly messed up and confused, she doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know what she is doing.
You think I should wait around till she finds another guy?
She has been very honest with me and I should give her a chance. I have nothing to lose except some time which I think she is worth.
Yes I will follow most of the DJ rules but will adapt them to this situation. You can't tell me that a rebound relationship has never ever worked. Even if it only works 1% of the time, I think it is worth it to see. I mean, this woman is great and she made a mistake with a jerk and has realized this and wants to move on. Why shouldn't she do it with me?

 

[drZaius09]

Originally posted by trevjr
DrZ, thanks for your answer but it assumes that she is consciously using me.

She IS using you, it really doesn't matter whether consciously or subconsciously. Furthermore, what difference does it make if you met again "by accident?"

I mean, this woman is great and she made a mistake with a jerk and has realized this and wants to move on.

Yes, she definately wants to move on... to the next jerk!

I wish you the best of luck. But ONCE AGAIN, as is so often the trend here lately, you are looking for us to tell you what you want to hear. Sorry, I can't do that. There are three billion possible relationships for you on this planet (give or take a few million), it's OKAY if this one doesn't work out.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by trevjr
I email Joe and ask is it OK to call Sue.
Joe says no, I must wait 3 months.
I tell Sue, she laughs.
I tell Joe I am not calling Sue because I am dating someone else.
I tell Sue I told Joe this. Sue now mad at me because I lied.

there

Didn't you made out with this chick? you were ok. I wouldn't have done the 'stay up til 5 in the am' thing but heh, u made out with her... til u mess up again.

How can u KNOW the bible N still stay up til 5 in the AM listen'N to her throw'N up her feelings about joe???

anyways...

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by drZaius09

Yes, she definately wants to move on... to the next jerk!

gold!!!