Giving out your number?

[Lostsoul85]

I went out to a bar about a couple weeks ago and as i was standing near the bathroom i see this chick standing across from me on the other side.I noticed she was making eye contact with me and each time i looked at her and smiled she smiled back.This happened a few times.Anyways,i signal for her to come to me and she comes to my side and i call her out on her checking me out.I said something along the lines of We're you gonna stand there and stare at me all night and not say hi.Very brief small talk and then i tell her i have to go but she should take my number.She pulls out her phone and i type in my digits.I tell her to have an awesome night.Now,she was definitely checking me out and i could tell she was attracted.It has been a couple weeks and she hasn't reached out.What do you guys think?

 

[TheGambino]

You probably won't hear from her, girls only hit guys up at first when theyr highly interested and thats hard to pull of in a couple of minutes. I would recommend you the next time get her number so you can take action and call her, goodluck bro. forget this one approach new girls

 

[EbbsAndFlows]

You probably won't hear from her, girls only hit guys up at first when theyr highly interested and thats hard to pull of in a couple of minutes. I would recommend you the next time get her number so you can take action and call her, goodluck bro. forget this one approach new girls

Agreed.

Way before I understood the concept of "game", I'd play around with different strategies myself. I went though a phase (a very short phase) where I insisted a girl take my digits and hit me up. Didn't work even once.

In fact, I bumped into a girl I did that to 1.5 years later (she never called obv). We instantly recognized eachother, she gave me HER number, we had drinks and went home together. Unfortunately, me reaching out to HER didn't work out (because she had a bf the whole time), but there's a case study for ya.

Men are supposed to lead. Giving her number, while you think it makes you look cool and indifferent, is putting her into a leadership position. As we all know, putting HER in a leadership position means dry vagina and good bye.

 

[LeonSK]

She's gone. Although I've had success (she texted me the same day), I will never give out my number before she does. Reason: you are the prize. No award before she does anything.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Though it goes against the ideology of a lot guys, I usually only ever give my number, rather than taking theirs.

There is serious psychology and reverse psychology at play here, as this is likely the first time either one of you has clamped eyes on each other.

The predominant factor for consideration is INVESTMENT, both proactive and reactive.

The provision of a phone number is a reactive investment (to the situation, and one that you do not and should not care for the result of at this point). The taking and using of a phone number is an active investment, one that requires a prerequisite level of interest.


If you text/call (though I never call women) the next day, having taken her number, she will be immediately reacting to you passively, while you are already actively investing (by taking time to get her attention, trying to meet etc.). Where my personal view is that upon first meeting, you want to gauge her interest level, before you start investing time texting and trying to meet her again.

You want them to be actively investing at the earliest opportunity. By giving them the opportunity to get in touch first, you are forcing the active investment in to their court.

What many DJs fail to (consciously) acknowledge by never giving their number out and only taking numbers, is that they are already investing in and flagging their level of interest to a girl by texting and calling first; apparently the cardinal sign of a beta male.

I don't care if a girl texts me the next day or not because at that point I have barely invested any time or effort in her. If she doesn't then I obviously didn't work hard enough on first engagement, or she simply isn't interested; in which case the boat is likely sailed and I have not wasted energy on her. If she does, I know the game is already on.

I would say 99 times out of 100, the girl has got in contact after me giving my number. I have had less success by taking numbers myself.

 

[gravityeyelids]

if you're ever going to give a girl your number, tell her to text you or call you while she's standing there so you have it, so YOU can hit her up later. Especially if you're at a bar or a party.

It's also a very good idea to text her a little bit right after you get the number to break radio silence and get her used to texting you. A good line is "Who's that hot guy you're talking to right now? " while you're standing there talking to her. You can quickly get a "secret" convo going between you, even though you two can see each other. You can even mutually make fun of the chodes that awkwardly hit on her with her: "That guy was smoooth..you should probably wife him up ", etc.

This is esp good if you two are drunk for a few reasons. It turns you from "some dude I gave my number to when drunk" to some guy she actually texted a bit, flirted with and hopefully established some inside jokes or callback humor. Not to mention that when the bars close at 2am or whenever, if she's continuing to text you, you can often times turn it into a single night lay VERY easily.

A lot of guys say "but shouldnt you wait a few days before texting?!" Wrong, this almost doesn't count. After you text her that night and establish contact, you can always relax and wait a few days before hitting her up again and setting up a meetup.

Everyone has their theories of whether or not giving her your number is as effective as telling her to give you hers.... but the fact is, it's more about how you go about it and the way that you treat it. I don't think you can objectively say that giving her your number is ALWAYS a bad idea....it just depends on the circumstance and how you go about it. Although I would concede that in GENERAL it is better to lead and take her number and be the one to hit her up later.

 

[nismo-4]

You're surprised OP? I'm not. High interest (IOI's) means the girl is seeing you and banging you. Anything else is just fluff. And this girl calling you? Don't hold your breath.

Never give out your number without getting the girl's first. Fundamental rule. If the girl says she doesn't give her number out, walk away, as she is just an attention wh0re (not interested). Oh yeah, giving your number out first is a great way to give her all the power. Get her number first. If she is interested, she will want you to have her number. Not the case here. So move on and stop caring about this girl, the very fact you wrote this thread shows you care too much. And the girl is likely just watching 90210, not thinking about you. Move on. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed. Stay in control.

 

[Maximus Rex]

Oh Well

Now,she was definitely checking me out and i could tell she was attracted. It has been a couple weeks and she hasn't reached out. What do you guys think?

She wasn't as interested as you initially thought and got a better offer.