Girls who are more into you when they're drunk

[Herb]

I've had a friend who I've had an odd, interesting relationship with over the last 6 months or so. When I first met her I wasn't really interested in her as a mate much at all, and I was kinda seeing her friend casually at the time, until it didn't work out with her anymore, and then it got weird (with the mutual friend). But then we hit it off pretty well over time and started hanging out on our own, and it kinda dawned on me that she was actually pretty hot, as well as chill. I'm one of her few friends in the city she moved to last year.

She's a good bit younger than me (just turned 21) and I notice when we go out and have a good time and she has ample drinks, she tends to get very touchy feely with me, leaning on me, grabbing my hand, and all that. Due to Murphy's Law (everything that can go wrong will) interfering on several occasions, I was never able to seal the deal with her, even though it seemed there for the taking (first time her friends got in the way, second time when she invited me back to her place it was a night that I had gone 3 days without any sleep and I was ready to keel over, and doubted if I could've performed well in bed or have any stamina), but I left it open for future action.

Anyway she asked me to help her move yesterday and I did, and she was all about getting drinks after. I was very funny and on point, and mildly flirty, with everything I said that day, more so than usual, even surprising myself. I thought she definitely would have wanted to actually have some fun that night but oddly she kept it just one drink and said she felt really tired and just wanted to go to bed (she does work in the morning). I asked her if she was sure and she was like yeah, but I'll definitely make it up to you and help you move when you do... She wasn't all flirty and tactile like she usually was; I even bumped into or brushed against her a few times and touched her on the back and hand casually, but she didn't seem to respond like she used to.

It was kind of surprising... I was thinking this would be the time to do it, but the opportunity didn't seem to come up, and the vibe I was expecting to get was off. What went wrong here...? Did she just assume I wasn't interested in her based on the prior experiences? As a side note and unsure if related, she's got this odd thing for Asian dudes and one just moved into the new shared home she moved into.

The thing that complicates things with her is she is actually a friend and not just some random plate, so I've put a lot of investment into her as a person and it's not as easy to just make a move or just easily drop her either. She almost looks up to me as a kind of older mentor, but when she's lit you can tell she definitely has a thing for me sexually. It's just that bringing that out ain't easy, and I'm worried it may be slipping away.

It took me a while to realize how attractive she actually was, and now I'm kind of regretting not having pushed harder to make a move earlier. Even though it was not in the cards.

I guess this is just an example of some girls being more open when drinking.

 

[skinnyguy]

There was this one plate I had and she would come over like once a month. Whenever she got drunk, I got laid. She later said that she didn’t want to drink around me lol.

I’m meeting this banging hot middle eastern chick on Saturday. I’m planning to take her straight to the bar and have her do shots with me.

 

[MrWood]

she asked me to help her move yesterday and I did

she got you to do work for her, and all she did for it was laugh and giggle

you are her giggle boy that jumps when she needs help... for free (no kino, no kiss, no sex)

WELCOME TO THE FRIENDZONE

 

[The Diver]

<she asked me to help her move yesterday and I did>

Lol, that what I thought as well: The job done and she don't need you anymore,,,

 

[Dingo]

She's a flirty drunk and she got a thing for her Asian housemate... smh

 

[ohrein]

Did she just assume I wasn't interested in her based on the prior experiences?

Potentially this. Girls don't like rejection if it's from weakness. You didn't make a move when you could of. If you're interested in a girl and you get the chance to seal the deal, do it no matter what.

but when she's lit you can tell she definitely has a thing for me sexually

Drunk horny girls on peak ovulation have a thing for any guy that meets her SMV. It doesn't necessarily have anything to do with you, although I'm not saying it necessarily doesn't in your situation either. Only you can judge that objectively.

The thing that complicates things with her is she is actually a friend and not just some random plate, so I've put a lot of investment into her as a person and it's not as easy to just make a move or just easily drop her either.

Friend zone. Just be her friend and if you get another opportunity, take it I guess. But soft rejecting her advances plus friend zone to me seems like it won't go anywhere. Unless you got game!

 

[Glassguy]

she got you to do work for her, and all she did for it was laugh and giggle

you are her giggle boy that jumps when she needs help... for free (no kino, no kiss, no sex)

WELCOME TO THE FRIENDZONE

Yep.....lack of escalation....or better yet, making sure to get her to a place (your place) so that you could escalate when she was digging you.

Instead of going out for drinks all the time you should have told her to pick up a bottle of wine and come to your place to hang out.

The best bet now is to reach out in a day or two and say "Why dont you grab a bottle of wine and come to my place on such and such evening and make it up to me "

If she does, get the wine flowing and escalate. If she acts appalled because you 2 are "friends" then dont contact her again. Either way, you'll get the answer you're looking for to find out if she is sexually interested in you or not.

Better to make a move than live with regret.

 

[Reykhel]

Anyway she asked me to help her move yesterday and I did, and she was all about getting drinks after. I was very funny and on point, and mildly flirty, with everything I said that day, more so than usual, even surprising myself. I thought she definitely would have wanted to actually have some fun that night but oddly she kept it just one drink and said she felt really tired and just wanted to go to bed (she does work in the morning). I asked her if she was sure and she was like yeah, but I'll definitely make it up to you and help you move when you do... She wasn't all flirty and tactile like she usually was; I even bumped into or brushed against her a few times and touched her on the back and hand casually, but she didn't seem to respond like she used to.

Looking at a different perspective. How many times have you moved house in your life? It's exhausting and in fact can be quite stressful.

So, I would ask it is reasonable to expect that she would be super tired or drained after the move. Is it reasonable to expect she would have wanted to be rested for work in the morning.

I would say this. It would be worse if she had of promised to go for drinks and then backed out because she was exhausted. People who make promises and don't carry them out = lack of integrity and weak character. People who make promises and always carry them out = sign of integrity and character.

See what happens later....whether she's giving or looking to take

 

[Reykhel]

Instead of going out for drinks all the time you should have told her to pick up a bottle of wine and come to your place to hang out.

True that. Going out after moving house......time consuming and exhausting.....

 

[oldmanofthesea]

Alcohol lowers your inhibitions. If I'm anxious about ruining a friendship by hooking up with a girl, alcohol will lower my anxiety about that. If I have a girl who's been pursuing the h*ll out of me and I'm not THAT attracted to her but I'm drunk and horny, she starts looking better and I sometimes say ok and sleep with her. But after that I don't really want to talk with her much and she starts getting clingy.

Could be the same thing with this girl. She's either anxious about hooking up with you for a variety of reasons (like potentially ruining an important friendship), or she's only slightly attracted to you and you suddenly start to look bangable when she has beer goggles on. Either way, probably not a good bet to hook up with her because it probably won't end well. Since it sounds like you both value each others friendship and assuming its a mutually beneficial friendship where you aren't a male orbiter, I'd probably just keep her in the friend zone. Plenty of other women out there to hook up with. Good friends are hard to find, especially female friends.

While some have suggested she used you for helping her move and didn't reciprocate by only having one drink with you and not being romantic, another way to see it is that she was so thankful for your help and friendship that she realized she didn't want to sleep with you and risk losing you as a friend. That's cool in my book, but again, only if she is doing as much for you as you are doing for her.... a REAL friendship. What kinds of things does she do for you? Does she ever do you favors? Does she volunteer to be a wingwoman, help you shop for clothes or pick out stuff for your house or pet-sit for you or whatever?

 

[Reykhel]

 

[Herb]

Yeah. I probably did screw up earlier but again it was almost outside of my control given the situations. I don't think my chances with her are completely over, but we'll see. It is true that she was tired from moving stuff around in the heat all day; it's just that she seemed way more excited about getting drinks and hanging before that process than when we were actually done and went to the bar. She even half-jokingly criticized me for getting more than one drink, as if that was weird to do, when I've seen her have like four or five on other occasions.

----
I guess what I really wanted to ask was is there a way, and how, to bring out those interests or feelings of attraction from her without exploiting a state of intoxication, because, believe me, I really don't like doing that; I think it's kinda grimy and dishonest, and there have been numerous occasions where I've actually declined to do something with a girl who wanted to do something with me because she was way too drunk, especially relative to me.
----

I did once invite her straight to my place for some homemade drinks and hanging out but she had another commitment that night; I think she would have accepted on a different occasion.

But now I almost get this feeling (I could be wrong) that she's becoming wary of me, as if she's on to me that I may be into her now (as a result of her being all flirty and stuff on some occasions), and wants to intentionally avoid being in that situation again. But I can't really tell.

Arghh, this kind of thing has happened to me on various occasions: a girl displays overt interest in me but due to one reason or another, I am slow in reacting to it, and by the time I begin to reciprocate interest, hers may be fading... the friend factor also complicates things. This girl did tell me that I'm one of the few people she has become close to in this city since moving here a few months ago. It's not like I want to exploit the friend thing just for an opportunity at a hook up.. but isn't it natural for people to sort of possibly start liking each other more as they hang out? I recall she also made the effort to let me know, multiple times, that she liked my friends (as people) as if that was important to tell me. Anyway, I don't think you automatically fall into the friend zone just by being or starting out a "friend" at first.

 

[MrWood]

drunk girls... went out with 37yo HB7 to after party for her social circle...
she goes to toilet, i grab a smoke...

19yo HB8 asks me for a smoke, she is very flity and open, not quite drunk... says she never goes out etc...
mak on her ear as we are chatting, hand on her hips... she say do you know how old I am, I tell her I dont care (because I am 52yo)
she is an artist, i grab her FB... hour later, same thing (date is in the toilet).. she is eyeing me up, comes for a smoke
and I say you want another smoke, she puts her hand on me and says yes.. I tell her its going to cost her a kiss
we make out for 5 minutes... we talk sexual, she asks if I met any cute girls.. I tell her yea "you" and the girl I was dancing with..
"ohhh mmm nice, we talk about going to my place about then she says she has to go and some dude magically apperars (kinda bf not acting like it as I nibbled her neck)

drunk girls... i think i need to go out more

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I've had a friend who I've had an odd, interesting relationship with over the last 6 months or so. When I first met her I wasn't really interested in her as a mate much at all, and I was kinda seeing her friend casually at the time, until it didn't work out with her anymore, and then it got weird (with the mutual friend). But then we hit it off pretty well over time and started hanging out on our own, and it kinda dawned on me that she was actually pretty hot, as well as chill. I'm one of her few friends in the city she moved to last year.

She's a good bit younger than me (just turned 21) and I notice when we go out and have a good time and she has ample drinks, she tends to get very touchy feely with me, leaning on me, grabbing my hand, and all that. Due to Murphy's Law (everything that can go wrong will) interfering on several occasions, I was never able to seal the deal with her, even though it seemed there for the taking (first time her friends got in the way, second time when she invited me back to her place it was a night that I had gone 3 days without any sleep and I was ready to keel over, and doubted if I could've performed well in bed or have any stamina), but I left it open for future action.

Anyway she asked me to help her move yesterday and I did, and she was all about getting drinks after. I was very funny and on point, and mildly flirty, with everything I said that day, more so than usual, even surprising myself. I thought she definitely would have wanted to actually have some fun that night but oddly she kept it just one drink and said she felt really tired and just wanted to go to bed (she does work in the morning). I asked her if she was sure and she was like yeah, but I'll definitely make it up to you and help you move when you do... She wasn't all flirty and tactile like she usually was; I even bumped into or brushed against her a few times and touched her on the back and hand casually, but she didn't seem to respond like she used to.

It was kind of surprising... I was thinking this would be the time to do it, but the opportunity didn't seem to come up, and the vibe I was expecting to get was off. What went wrong here...? Did she just assume I wasn't interested in her based on the prior experiences? As a side note and unsure if related, she's got this odd thing for Asian dudes and one just moved into the new shared home she moved into.

The thing that complicates things with her is she is actually a friend and not just some random plate, so I've put a lot of investment into her as a person and it's not as easy to just make a move or just easily drop her either. She almost looks up to me as a kind of older mentor, but when she's lit you can tell she definitely has a thing for me sexually. It's just that bringing that out ain't easy, and I'm worried it may be slipping away.

It took me a while to realize how attractive she actually was, and now I'm kind of regretting not having pushed harder to make a move earlier. Even though it was not in the cards.

I guess this is just an example of some girls being more open when drinking.

Drunk and horny. Shows attention. Nothing thereafter.

#nextset

 

[Herb]

****in bull****... I can't believe this girl. She's been really distant and aloof lately and I can tell has very low desire to interact with me for some reason. A week after helping with the move in I ask her how she's doing in her new place and a joke around a bit. She gives me some token few word response a couple of hours later. I tell her about some important changes in my life and career and say I'm gonna move about 20 miles further away. She doesn't even bother responding and doesn't care enough to. A month later I try to check in with her again, and use the reasoning that I need to move too and want to call in a favor, since I helped her move twice. She does this thing where she's like "yeah sure" and then three minutes later is like "oh wait I forgot I'm visiting my relative that weekend sorry!". I'm like "okay that's cool, did you wanna meet up for some drinks to catch up since I'm gonna be a bit further away now?" (she finally finished a contract job that she had for a while, but didn't seem to care enough to tell me about it).

She makes up excuses that her friend is visiting her for the weekend, and then vaguely suggests next week in a way like she's trying to placate me. A few days later I ask if she's free the next couple of days and she says "actually I'm busy all this week. But now I can help you move cause that weekend is freed up!" By this point I already have others helping me and she wouldn't really serve any purpose there. I tell her it's cool and she's just like "okay". I mention if she ever does feel like buying us a round of drinks sometime in the future I wouldn't be opposed, to which she simply doesn't reply, and that's the last I heard from her... I think she only wanted to help me move so she's not "indebted" to me, to satisfy her own conscience, and has no desire to hang out with me casually and have drinks, possibly because she's afraid of getting all slutty around me again and doesn't want to give me the wrong idea. She's being doing this sort of soft letdown over the past two months with me. Like having this sort of polite thin veneer but you know she really doesn't want to deal with me. It really sucks. More because we were friends for a while. I wouldn't really care if it was some random girl or plate that I was trying with, because that's more expected there and you can shrug it off cause you never had real rapport.

It's the kind of thing that girls would do to some relative stranger who is trying to creep on them or some guy who they went out with once and can't take a hint that it's over... not someone who they've been friends with for this long and had a lot of good experiences with and shared a lot with. At least be direct about what's going on rather than just stop talking to me.

After almost a year of friendship, and all the other things I've done to help her out, this is how she deals with me... For the first few months she was in this city she acknowledged I was one of her few friends and she counted on me for things, and even a few months ago she said I was one of the few in this place she's grown close to. I took her to places and venues she would never have seen otherwise. And on multiple occasions she clearly wanted to hook up or do things with me but as I said before, I couldn't due to bad luck in each situation not permitting it. In the past she used to hit me up on her own for help and advice and just to hang out, and now she's like trying to avoid me. I can't believe I lost out to a freaking Asian too. I bet that's what happened; after she moved into that house she totally lost interest in me and wanted to distance herself from me. I hate investing time and energy into someone when it ends like this. I mean we could have at least had a final heated argument or something (like we have in the past) but no, it's just some totally weak lackluster end to it all, like I'm just some nobody. Total BS.

Whatever, I have other options as far as girls, and have been seeing another for a little while, but I'm just mad at myself for giving up so many opportunities here.

 

[resilient]

Herb, a few things:

Did you guys hook up in the beginning? You mentioned her worrying about being "slutty around you" again. You've known her for a year, yet you've been chasing a carrot all this time. Hoping that she would suddenly feel a change in attraction and desire you back.

Make things real simple. When you hear scores of excuses, tell yourself in your mind "anything other than a 'yes' is a 'no'".

Also, just because you helped her move, doesn't mean you're entitled to dating her.

The short boring answers in text were her trying to communicate that she's not interested. Women are rarely direct. If she had higher interest level in you, she wouldn't be "busy all week". She would make time for that drink and move her schedule around.

You have other options, good, now get your mind off this woman. You want her partly because she's a challenge and you want to prove there's an attraction there.

 

[Billtx49]

She's been really distant and aloof lately and I can tell has very low desire to interact with me for some reason.

She doesn't even bother responding and doesn't care enough to.

She makes up excuses that her friend is visiting her for the weekend

and has no desire to hang out with me casually

She's being doing this sort of soft letdown over the past twomonths

More because we were friends for a while.

I was one of her few friends

now she's like trying to avoid me.

after she moved into that house she totally lost interest in me and wanted to distance herself from me.

Read the above sentences you wrote. You were in her friendzone when she needed to move, that’s all it is…
Don’t expect anything more.

 

[IKO69]

The alcohol just emboldens them and they use it as an excuse to let out their true feelings. The woman likes you the same sober.

 

[devilkingx2]

it means that logic and reason sways her away from you for whatever reason, but when she's drunk her ability to use logic and reason is impaired so there's only whatever desire she has to bang you (whether emotional or physical) and no counter voice ("I don't want to ruin the friendship", "I have a boyfriend", "I don't do hookups", "I'm not looking for anything/anything serious", "he's not bf material", "we're coworkers", "it'll make things complicated", etc. )

either that or she's an attention wh*re/slvt that represses or hides it while sober

 

[TBG]

Sounds like there's another guy on the scene that she's more interested in hence being aloof and distant all of a sudden.

No doubt she'll be back to her usual self when the other guy isn't giving her the attention, support or whatever she craves.