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Girls Dumping Successful Men for Bums

AR1031

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Gentlemen,

I have seen on multiple occasions where girls I knew were dating guys I know. In all these instances, the guys are successful. They own businesses, manage companies, are good looking and polite dudes. Yet, in multiple instances, I have noticed these girls to dump these guys in order to date men who have no jobs. In some instances, the girls I'm thinking about went from being financially supported by these dudes I know, to end up paying for everything for the men they ended up leaving my friends for.

This makes little sense. Can any of you folks clue me in to the dynamic at play here?
 

AlphaNate

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No one is physically attracted to money (at least I hope not). Wealthy men tend to have an easier time reaching the alpha mindset that hooks women, but it's not the money that's challenging the women and making them excited. It takes work on yourself to reach the state of mind that women find desirable. You can find the same desirable way of living that CEOs and professional athletes have an easier time obtaining without the money.

Also, you mentioned that your friends were financially supporting these women. When a woman has control over a man and his finances, there's no challenge in that. It's not fun for them. She'll probably have a good time spending their money with her girl friends, but eventually they need the challenge of an alpha. Someone exciting, whether they're loaded or not.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Go look up Bonecrcker online. He talked a lot about this. He brings up the dark side of women. I myself am still not completely sure why though, he just says that western women are all sick in the head. I will try to come back if I find out why.
 

ImTheDoubleGreatest!

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Ok I found out why, at least partially so. They basically think that they can 'change' him. Yeah he is a jerk, but he will baffle them by occasionally doing nice things randomly, which is why they say 'he has a nice side to him though', when in reality he doesn't, he is just fvcking with her head. Their whole morality complex comes in to try to change him because they think he would be a perfect man if he does change. A thug from the hood, or a 'hood nigga' as they like to call themselves, can handle themselves and are used to dealing with women who have sh!tty attitudes, so in a way they give off that tough guy persona to those who haven't dealt with them in excess before; they give off a form of neomasculinity. And like I said before, the woman wants to change him because he would be the perfect man if he does change. A man who was born and raised away from 'the hood' doesn't seem as authentic or natural as someone who was. In reality, it's female ignorance. People who live in projects aren't tough, they're just dumb and live a crappy life. Some women who know this are completely turned off by it.
 

logicallefty

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Simple. Women are initially attracted to civilized men with money because thats what the good girl in them wants. But then the bad girl takes over who wants a bad boy who makes the pee pee wet. Bad boys generally arent also civilized men with money. She struggles between the two girls inside her and eventually the bad girl wins. Then the woman cheats on and/or leaves the civilized man for the bad boy.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Simple. Women are initially attracted to civilized men with money because thats what the good girl in them wants. But then the bad girl takes over who wants a bad boy who makes the pee pee wet. Bad boys generally arent also civilized men with money. She struggles between the two girls inside her and eventually the bad girl wins. Then the woman cheats on and/or leaves the civilized man for the bad boy.
The funny thing is a lot of times they will leave for this "hood" dude, but it's who SHE really is. She was just dating/marrying above herself. It's not always something wrong with you. Many times it's something wrong with THEM. Even crazy, they think they don't deserve someone as good as you, and a "hood" dude will treat her like she's used to being treated. It feels more real to them.
 

bigneil

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Sounds like a stripper. They have men throwing money at them and expecting things in return so they try to balance the Universe by having some useless boy toy who they pay for under zero obligation. And who else but such a cuckolding she-male would put up with a girl who they are living with routinely dating other men? They call it "someone to go home to". I have a cat instead. Such "men" (although not meeting my definition of independent male) are like a bizarre form of a pet and should not be taken seriously.
 

btownbuck2012

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Biggest mistake a man can make it to misdiagnose the character of a woman and treat her according to that misdiagnosis. Always treat a woman congruently with her nature.
+1 x 1,000. This cannot be overstated enough and should be stickied somewhere on this website.
 

AlphaNate

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Biggest mistake a man can make it to misdiagnose the character of a woman and treat her according to that misdiagnosis. Always treat a woman congruently with her nature.
Would you mind elaborating on this? Thanks.
 

dustmuffin

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This is a great thread. A woman who says she has dated men that treat her like **** expect to be treated that way. If you treat them better than what they expect they eventually dump or cheat on you.

That's what's hard for me. I'm not a big enough a ss hole. I'm a good leader and not a doormat. Women are so screwed up. They want what they are used to even when they say they dont.
 

Bokanovsky

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This question cannot be answered in the abstract because there can be any number of reasons why a particular woman would leave a particular successful man for a particular bum.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Sounds like a stripper. They have men throwing money at them and expecting things in return so they try to balance the Universe by having some useless boy toy who they pay for under zero obligation. And who else but such a cuckolding she-male would put up with a girl who they are living with routinely dating other men? They call it "someone to go home to". I have a cat instead. Such "men" (although not meeting my definition of independent male) are like a bizarre form of a pet and should not be taken seriously.
bigneil, many strippers are the female version of a thug or "hustler". So they admire themselves in other men. Of course a man of means feels nice and takes care of her, but she see's herself in some of these men who may not have as much, who may be unrefinded and raw.
 

fastlife

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For example, I date a girl that looks like a girl next door nice girl. That's what I like so mentally I am hoping and eventually projecting that that's who she is. As the weeks progress, I might make a comment about "settling down" and maybe how "I like nice girls" and "I'll never date a stripper again." BIG mistake.

The female, with an incredible but not obvious degraded history, adapts to your stated desires or her interpretation of them.

She doesn't tell you she likes threesomes. She doesn't tell you she likes to do drugs. She doesn't tell you shes cheated on all her boyfriends in the past and most of her relationships are very short casual relationships.

She tells you she "was offered a threesome but didn't go for it." She tells you she "tried" drugs but doesn't anymore. She tells you "she cheated once but he was abusive so deserved it and she'll never do it again" and she uses other women she knows to virtue signal her own "values." She only tells you about her one or two long term relationships.

Keep in mind that regardless of what you say, if sh has you pegged as a provider husband type or human handbag boyfriend type and NOT a "fun" type, she will already be doing this by default based on her own intuition and experience.
Great post. Except I'll take it a step further: EVERY girl is running dualistic algorithms for whether she perceives you as the Lover or the Provider. Now a legitimate 'good girl' is more excited by your tales of debauchery and--questionable--behavior, especially if she has the illusion that you could reform for her. A lot of time the legitimately inexperienced girls will say off the wall sh1t about working corners, etc., since they're embarrassed about their own lack of experience. They might, despite their excitement, end up flaking if you spike their sexual emotions too high before the meetup--they're inexperienced for a reason, after all. A lot of the time, in their cognitive dissonance, they'll end up with the guy who seems good but is secretly a drug addict, or a player, etc.

Middling experienced girls will be like, "Finally, a guy who won't judge me"--and they'll proceed to titillate you with tales of their threesomes and more questionable hookups.

More experienced girls, or older women, or girls who've been burned by the bad boy already--these are the girls who will blow you out for being a fvckboy. These are the girls that get excited by the prospect of a legitimate Good Guy.

Now flip algorithms. Now you're the provider--The Good Guy.

'Good girls' will put you in the 'No Sex Zone'--she's not like that; you have to respect her religious preferences & be the celibate boyfriend.

Middling girls will probably let you take them out to dinner, tell you about her FaceBook-official relationships (the one or two she never bothered deleting the pictures from). Depending on their age, they may even get into a relationship with you. Or they may even hook up with you, but then say things like, "OMG, I've never done something like that before."

Experienced girls will shape shift--she's probably already cleaned up her image on Social Media--Sunday-church pictures, Godly quotes, etc. She'll eat the good guy up--she's been waiting for a guy like him lol. He'll be perfect to clean up her image for the longer term.

Now, obviously there's a lot of middle ground--especially depending on how high your value is as a Provider or a Lover. A high value Provider could probably eventually have sex with any of these girls in the context of a relationship; a high value Lover could probably still get the more experienced girls to go for a romp or three. There are also judgmental Lovers, who girls will make wait. And there a nonjudgmental Providers who girls will tell all about their prior sexual exploits--"But, oh, I'm not that way anymore. You have to wait."
 

BeExcellent

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This is a great thread. A woman who says she has dated men that treat her like **** expect to be treated that way. If you treat them better than what they expect they eventually dump or cheat on you.

That's what's hard for me. I'm not a big enough a ss hole. I'm a good leader and not a doormat. Women are so screwed up. They want what they are used to even when they say they dont.
To me this is the gem so far in this thread, although lots of insight going on. Always remember you are only ever 1/2 of the interaction. You do not know what mental gymnastics are going on in her mind and a good frame can only assist you so much along these lines. Women with poor self esteem at the end of the day have poor self esteem and select for men who treat them poorly. The mind seeks consistency/water seeks its own level blah blah blah.

The other key thing I get from this thread is:

Biggest mistake a man can make it to misdiagnose the character of a woman and treat her according to that misdiagnosis.
And then as far as random 2 cents not already noted here...some men are horrible in bed. If a woman selected a man for any reason as a higher priority than finding him sexy then sex isn't going to be as good for her as she'd prefer.

The Lover/Provider combo (I would call it Lover/Leader but really that is semantics for the purpose of the thread) is the best of both worlds...but both parties must be very patient and very honest with themselves to find this. IME most people are not. IME most people operate from some place of "need" in a deficit filling sort of way. If what the man has to offer only fills part of the real need...
 

BeExcellent

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Great post. Except I'll take it a step further: EVERY girl is running dualistic algorithms for whether she perceives you as the Lover or the Provider
True. Best to be both. Think reformed bad boy who might revert...
 

Bible_Belt

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Girls Dumping Successful Men for Bums

I actually did get dumped for a bum last year, the real kind. He was a heroin addict who lived in a drainage culvert in the park. This was in winter, too, it was cold. The girl was a former stripper.
 

ChristopherColumbus

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Biggest mistake a man can make it to misdiagnose the character of a woman and treat her according to that misdiagnosis. Always treat a woman congruently with her nature.
Yes, but this can not be generalized. Every women has developed there nature to a different extent [education]. And then if that is character, every case may be different... though sadly due to prevalence of mass thinking and social media this may not be so.
 

fastlife

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True. Best to be both. Think reformed bad boy who might revert...
Age & attractiveness play a factor--generally, the younger or more attractive the girl the more you need to lead with the bad boy side; generally for older women or less attractive girls you need to lead with the Good Guy side. Every girl is different and has different requirements for how much Lover vs. how much Provider.

Generally, for smokeshows in the 18-21 y/o age group, you have to downplay any provisional potential til after you've slept with them (really that's probably true for most girls in that age range--thanks Social Media). It has to feel like she's 'earning' it. For more shy girls or more mature girls, she has to feel reassured that there are some more provisional qualities before she sleeps with you.

Leadership is a separate quality but is essential to your value as a Lover or Provider. For instance, a Lover with strong leadership skills will make the girl feel comfortable with the relationship; he'll be clear with expectations; he'll prevent outside drama from happening. Of course, a lot of Lovers have enough options that they'll never invest enough in anyone girl to really take leadership. Providers have to lead even more heavily to maintain any measure of her respect.

You guys just destroyed the whole idea of this forum
Masculine self-improvement is still as relevant as ever. Wealth, freedom, health are all great things in and of themselves. Dominance, leadership, independence are essential to having successful relationships with girls--regardless of the context of that relationship. BUT you also have to be realistic about why you're doing what you're doing; what you're trying to achieve; and if what you're doing is getting you closer to that achievement.

For instance, if I want to improve my sex life what's a more efficient methodology--working for two decades to amass wealth OR going out a couple nights a week and actively seeing what works and what doesn't to bring girls home? If I wanted wealth to ensure access to sex, then I could just totally skip the wealth-building. Real world experience, such as this thread, backs that up. BUT, at the same time, if I wanted to live a life with the least amount of stress (and being stress-free is one of the biggest aphrodisiacs for women) then building wealth would probably eliminate more stress from my life than sleeping with however many girls.

It all carries over. It's just building your toolset & identifying the right tools for the job.
 

Tenacity

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Haven't I been discussing that BLACK WOMEN in MASS (even those with Master's Degrees and PhDs) have been doing this, but you guys claimed I was making the shyt up?

I'm sure white/latino/mexican women are doing it too, but NO WHERE NEAR Black Women.

It's why I continue to say there's been a major shift in the market to where the women LEFT on it, are not quality, quality as defined based on a traditional framework.

And you guys want to say the BUM is an Alpha Male? Maybe I'm old school, but what the fvck is ALPHA about being over 30, with no car, no job, no home, no credit, no bills in your name, and always having to bum a ride off someone to take you down to the Department of Health and Human Services to get more food stamps? THIS guy has an ALPHA mindset?? Lawd have mercy.
 
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