Girlfriend problems! Can't seem to figure this one out..

[aznxboi]

Wassup fellas,


Lately, my girlfriend and I been having problems. Her parents are extremely strict. She is currently 19 and, I'm 22. Her parents won't ever let her out the house, unless it is with one of her girl friends. Long story short, we been having arguments. I been complaining I don't see her at all this summer. She said she can't do anything about it. Her parents are super strict on her, and she is not going against her parents will. She doesn't like talking on the phone, she is a texting type of girl.

We been going out for 11 months now. After the huge argument, I told her what she meant to me, but I did not apologize. (This was a super long text message). And, she simply just replied "That's Nice." I'm like ouccch....

So what I'm asking you guys is.... Should I just ignore her for a certain time period and kick it with other chicks? Or should I call her and sort something out? At this point meeting up with her is not a option. Thanks fellas!

 

[katzorange]

well duh... what do u think?

 

[aznxboi]

I think i'm not sure. I don't want to fck up this relationship.. Although on the back on my mind, I'm still young. And have girls to kick it with regardless.

 

[NO MA'AM]

Wassup fellas,Should I just ignore her for a certain time period and kick it with other chicks? Or should I call her and sort something out? At this point meeting up with her is not a option. Thanks fellas!

You can answer this yourself by first answering the following two questions:

1. Are your needs important in this relationship?
2. Is it fair to you to wait about hanging out with other girls until the situation between her and her parents is straightened out? (And this could take a while)

Also, you may want to consider this: Why can't she go out and meet you at an alternate location? Why can't you seem to get her on the phone? How would her parents know who she is meeting? You may have to start asking yourself if your girlfriend is being straight up with you.

 

[kingsam]

19 = adult, if she cant behave (for whatever reason) like this why did you date her in the first place...? rationalisation central!
And if she can't even go out HOW did you even date her in the first palce!

there soo many girl that age that ARE mature enough for Rl's/dating/'fun'....
tell her "you're a great girl, but this isnt working...i need a chick who isnt controlled like a little kid"
then find new chicks

this girl is a Black hole of your time/effort/emotion

 

[aznxboi]

Thanks fellas for your response. She is not let out of the house, until one of her girl friends come and pick her up. Her mom is a basically like a hawk, she has to see the people that are picking her up before letting her out. And, lately her mom and dad is having HUGE massive arguement and taking her stress on my girlfriend.

We started dating when she was 18 and school was in session. She would just tell her parents she at school studying while we were together most of the time. Thats how she got let out.

The thing is... This girl is a good amazing girl. She willing to pay almost everything we go out and pretty much do anything to make me happy till this point in stange of our relationship.

 

[Iceberg]

Wassup fellas,
Lately, my girlfriend and I been having problems.

In my world, "problems" means "We should break up." Relationships are supposed to enhance my life. Not give me new problems to solve.

I been complaining I don't see her at all this summer. She said she can't do anything about it.

She can do plenty about it. She can get a roommate and move out. She can disobey her parent's weird rules. She chooses not to do anything about it. Don't mistake it. It sounds like a lack of interest to me.

We been going out for 11 months now. After the huge argument, I told her what she meant to me, but I did not apologize. (This was a super long text message). And, she simply just replied "That's Nice." I'm like ouccch....

You just got blown off. Inexcusable. She's toying with you. And she has all the power in the relationship. She doesn't like talking on the phone, so you text. You "tell her what she means to you", she gives a 2-word response. You have to wait around for her to be available for you.

So what I'm asking you guys is.... Should I just ignore her for a certain time period and kick it with other chicks? Or should I call her and sort something out? At this point meeting up with her is not a option. Thanks fellas!

You're a grown man...a 22 year old....waiting around for a girl who can't seem to escape her parent's rules. Yes, you should meet other girls. Girls with normal lives, who won't disrespect you and don't have curfews at 19 years old.

 

[iliketennis]

sounds like it's not her parents that is the real problem

if she doesn't want to talk on the phone she's probably not into you

she might just be using her parents as an excuse

 

[2crudedudes]

I think i'm not sure. I don't want to fck up this relationship.. Although on the back on my mind, I'm still young. And have girls to kick it with regardless.

what exactly are you gonna fvck up? You don't even get to see her! I'm not sure what you're actually getting out of this...

 

[Igetit!]

In my world, "problems" means "We should break up." Relationships are supposed to enhance my life. Not give me new problems to solve.

This is the only part of your reply I disagree with Iceberg.
All the rest of it I give a thumbs up .

I don't think that a relationship simply having problems means it should end.

If that were the case no one would ever be married because ALL RELATIONSHIPS encounter problems or issues at some point.


To me,the problems don't mean the relationship should end,they just reveal whether the relationship is something real or not,they just reveal the types of character of the two people involved.

If you have a relationship and at the first sign of a problem your partner wants to throw in the towel,that let's you know that the relationship isn't anything serious anyway,but if you two can stick it out and weather the storm,that let's you know you have someone more special and reliable than just another "chick" to screw and toss to the side.

She can do plenty about it. She can get a roommate and move out. She can disobey her parent's weird rules. She chooses not to do anything about it. Don't mistake it. It sounds like a lack of interest to me.

I agree. I once dated a 19 year old who still lived with her parents. She also had a curfew and her parents were strict,(although not as strict as this girl's parents).


You know what this girl would do? She had college to go to around 8 to 8:30 in the mornings,so she'd stop by my place at like 7:30am and we'd spend time together talking and making out,etc.


One time she was over to my place and we were sitting on the bed together,and her phone rang....it was her father.


She went,"Shhhhhh",then proceeded to LIE TO HIM,telling him she was at one of her girl friends houses as I was kissing her on her neck and grabbing her boob.


To me,the problem isn't the strictness of this girl's parents,(although it can be annoying),it's this girl herself.

You just got blown off. Inexcusable. She's toying with you. And she has all the power in the relationship. She doesn't like talking on the phone, so you text. You "tell her what she means to you", she gives a 2-word response. You have to wait around for her to be available for you.

Agreed.

The OP said something about how he wrote her this "super long message" telling her how he felt about her and what she means to him.

That just made things WORSE.


This guy poured his heart out,revealing his thoughts and devotion to her,and her response was,"That's nice".


So in other words,she DIDN'T reciprocate.


Iceberg was right. The OP has NO POWER in the relationship,plus he gushes out his "feelings". There's no attraction,no challenge,no nothing.


It may be possible to turn this thing around IF there's still some type of interest on her part,but this dude will need to do a COMPLETE 180 from what he's been doing.

 

[Warrior74]

Never mind...I have to change my views on further review....time to let this one go and date other women.

 

[Iceberg]

This is the only part of your reply I disagree with Iceberg.
All the rest of it I give a thumbs up .

I don't think that a relationship simply having problems means it should end.

If that were the case no one would ever be married because ALL RELATIONSHIPS encounter problems or issues at some point.

You're right. I came on a little too strong with my wording. Guess I was just so disgusted by the rest of his post, that I went the "extreme" route with my opening.

Iceberg was right. The OP has NO POWER in the relationship,plus he gushes out his "feelings". There's no attraction,no challenge,no nothing.


It may be possible to turn this thing around IF there's still some type of interest on her part,but this dude will need to do a COMPLETE 180 from what he's been doing.

I guess it doesn't help for me to write a response that agrees with you already agreeing with me. But I want this guy to understand...

Her actions scream "boredom". They shout it from the mountain top. Can't make time to see him. Doesn't want to talk on the phone. Can't even write a respectable response to his love manifesto via text message.

He definitely needs to shake things up. Problem with me (and maybe I'm too quick to walk away), I see some of her actions as disrespect. And while a guy can recover from boring his girl, I'm not sure how you come back from disrespect. The "That's nice" response was a slap in the face. And for no good reason. It's basically like she walked across a crowded bar and punched him in the balls just because she could. No real reason for it. Just "Hey F*** You. Why? Because I can. Now do something about it."

And his response was "Ouch."

That type of thing...I don't know how you come back from that.

 

[aznxboi]

You guys are absolutely right. I was totally in control of this relationship, and pretty much handed her the power. It totally threw me off that she cannot come out. I been with her so long, and realize why not gush out my feelings. I am really rusty, and did not realize I still need to remain the prize.

I need to turn this all around, or find another girl. This is stupid, waiting around so college will resume (So she can go out) or hoping her parents will let her out. I did not respond by to her "Thank you. thats nice" part. I just said ouch in my head.

At this point, how can I turn this 180 and fix it if possible. While in the meantime I find someone else that is better. Thanks fellas, I'm totally rusty at this point and need someone guidance to brush off the dirt on my shoulders.

 

[Warrior74]

You guys are absolutely right. I was totally in control of this relationship, and pretty much handed her the power. It totally threw me off that she cannot come out. I been with her so long, and realize why not gush out my feelings. I am really rusty, and did not realize I still need to remain the prize.

I need to turn this all around, or find another girl. This is stupid, waiting around so college will resume (So she can go out) or hoping her parents will let her out. I did not respond by to her "Thank you. thats nice" part. I just said ouch in my head.

At this point, how can I turn this 180 and fix it if possible. While in the meantime I find someone else that is better. Thanks fellas, I'm totally rusty at this point and need someone guidance to brush off the dirt on my shoulders.

The only way to turn it around won't work if you're trying to make it work. Honestly move on...start dating other girls. You are too young to be worried about one woman anyway. Date. Have fun. If she wants to go on a date, cool. No strings, just fun. If she calls she calls, if not...so what, you are out there dating and enjoying life. Let her work for it if she wants it, if she doesn't don't worry, college is the time to bang lots of girls. Do not contact her again unless she contacts you first.

 

[aznxboi]

Your right. Got to move on. I have 3 options at this point. As summer progress I know I will have better options. But, I put myself in a ****ty position right now. I have two other girls I'm talking to. The problem is...

Girl 1: She currently have a boyfriend, but they are going to be living 2 hours from each other soon. And the boyfriend knows my family members. He is related to my cousin cousin. Which is atleast 9 family trees away. Not sure, do I want to set myself up for drama.

Girl 2: My girlfriend at the moment know this girl, friends. But, does not know her Girl 2 directly. Which is not as bad as Girl 1. So, I will see how far I can get with this girl.

Girl 3: My girlfriend (That i'm having trouble with). I'm still not talking to her at the moment.

 

[Joser590]

Girl 1: Forget about her!!! I have been down that road of getting involved with someone who has a boyfriend and it is not a pretty picture. You will have drama overload!!! If it's just sex that you are after than it's cool but do not consider her as relationship material for your own sake and sanity.

Girl 2: Judging by what you have stated, this one seems like a logical choice. Keep her on the back burner but focus on other chicks. Keep your eyes open when you are out there!!!

Girl 3: Girl 3? There is no girl 3!!! Forget about this relationship and move on. You are obviously not being fulfilled so dump the chick. Just tell her it's not working out but keep her on the back burner too. You'll be surprised on how many chicks from the past will pop up in the future and wanna do the nasty.