girlfriend of 4 months is starting to flake, where to go now?

[Igetit!]

Well,that's what I mean about it requiring some time. This CAN be fixed,but not in "the talk". Remember,whenever a woman says that "we need to talk",it means that she is tired of trying to repair the relationship. You remember all of the crazy,weird,illogical behavior she has been exibiting? That was all her ways of trying to fix the relationship. That was all of her ways of trying to get her needs met,to feel the passion again. My guess would be that once she said that the two of you needed to "talk",all of that crazy behavior from her ended. And it ended because tomorrow,the relationship is probably going to end. However,if you can buy some more time,you can turn this around.

 

[jamescr73]

well heres whats weird. 2 and a half weeks ago she came over to my house and we had a "talk". Things went fine, I told her what she wanted to hear, we fvcked on the couch and on the pool table, went to a party later that night, had a great night and the next week was great too. Then she weirds out again. I thought things were fine. Im not worried about the relationship ending tomorrow, if it does she will be back in a few weeks when she sorts her sh1t out.

 

[lookyoung]

There are too many red flags in this relationship to keep pursuing her. Stay away from woman on antidepressants.

Your GF interest in you is decreasing. Ones a girls interest level decreases its very difficult to get back. Even though you can't see it now this relationship can only end in tears. Be strong james this girl is not for you.

 

[Igetit!]

The answer to this situation lies in the beginning of the relationship.
It's simple. What ever it was you were doing,whatever it was that you were saying to her,the way you used to look at her,the way you used to treat her AT THE BEGINNING,do it all over again. All you have to do is stir up the passion and chemistry in her. That's it. And how do you do that? Simple.

Be a man. Yes,it's that simple. The more masculine you are,the more manly you are,the more feminine she feels. Here are some examples of what to do:
Set up a date,but don't tell her what it is. Just TELL her to be ready at a certain time,and tell her to wear something nice for you. That's right,I said to tell her to wear something nice FOR YOU. If you tell her that face to face,say it in a strong,decisive,masculine way,then look at her eyes when you say it. I promise you you'll see a "gleam" of passion in her eyes.

Also,be decisive. Make a decision yourself. One of the worst things a man can do with a woman is to repeatedly say when faced with a decision,"I don't know,what do you want to do?" or "Whatever you want to do is fine with me."
A lot of guy don't get this. Like I said,if after the "talk" tomorrow,if the two of you are still dating,you'll be in a much better position to turn this thing around.

 

[jamescr73]

The answer to this situation lies in the beginning of the relationship.
It's simple. What ever it was you were doing,whatever it was that you were saying to her,the way you used to look at her,the way you used to treat her AT THE BEGINNING,do it all over again. All you have to do is stir up the passion and chemistry in her. That's it. And how do you do that? Simple.

Be a man. Yes,it's that simple. The more masculine you are,the more manly you are,the more feminine she feels. Here are some examples of what to do:
Set up a date,but don't tell her what it is. Just TELL her to be ready at a certain time,and tell her to wear something nice for you. That's right,I said to tell her to wear something nice FOR YOU. If you tell her that face to face,say it in a strong,decisive,masculine way,then look at her eyes when you say it. I promise you you'll see a "gleam" of passion in her eyes.

Also,be decisive. Make a decision yourself. One of the worst things a man can do with a woman is to repeatedly say when faced with a decision,"I don't know,what do you want to do?" or "Whatever you want to do is fine with me."
A lot of guy don't get this. Like I said,if after the "talk" tomorrow,if the two of you are still dating,you'll be in a much better position to turn this thing around.

Thats a part of the problem she is having with this relationship though, because this is what I do. She says we always do what I want to do, not what she wants to do. I make all of the decisions, and she wants me to come with her to do her things.

Im heading over there now. Ill report back later.

 

[jamescr73]

oh, and the reason im heading over there, is because she pulled a muscle in her neck/shoulders this morning and is having a hard time turning her head. She doesnt want to drive. Its a pretty long drive to my house.

 

[Igetit!]

Thats a part of the problem she is having with this relationship though, because this is what I do. She says we always do what I want to do, not what she wants to do. I make all of the decisions, and she wants me to come with her to do her things.

Dude,you just don't get it. You just don't understand. You keep misunderstanding and misinterpeting everything. I can understand you not understanding what your girlfriend says to you,but you're doing it with the advice I'm trying to give you as well. When I say to do what you used to do, I mean your BEHAVIOR. I mean the way you used to treat her. I'm not talking about going to the restaurant you want to go to,or going to the movie you want to go to or all the things that you like to do for fun,you drag her to those things instead of something she would like to do. Look,you approached her,right? You talked to her,you made the first move to get to know her. There was something about you that made her decide to go out with you in the first place. There was something about you that made her decide to get in a relationship with you. Now,whatever "THAT THING" was,(the thing that cause her to date you,that thing that cause her to get in a relationship with you) that is what you need to go back to doing. It wasn't some activity you did. This is an EMOTIONAL problem for her,so it requires a EMOTIONAL solution. Not a logical one. You are not going to have a "talk" with her,and "explain" your way into her heart. There's no amount of logic,reason, or common sense you can throw at her that will make her have those "butterflies" in her stomach that she had at the beginning. It was the way you talked to her,the way you looked at her,the way you said her name.

This is what I mean,and this is what she's missing from you. Just remember this:If you find yourself trying to reason with her to get her to stay in the relationship,YOU WILL fail. Women respond to emotion. Happy,sad,jealous,nervous,angry,excitement. These are what you need to win her back,not taking her to her favorite movie or restaurant or letting her choose where you go for the date. It's like DavenJuan said. She's bored. Boredom isn't a feeling.it's a LACK of emotion. When you're bored,it's because you don't feel ANYTHING. This is the problem with her. She'd rather feel angry than bored. So stir up her emotions.

 

[jamescr73]

I went over there last night, walked in and she was sitting on the couch. I sat next to her and she turned to me and started kissing me. We kissed for a minute or so, and I whispered in her ear "I want to be with you", she said "I want to be with you too". The rest is history. Everything is fine now, and it really feels like it did a few months ago. I think the 2 day silent treatment got her thinking more logically, and she realized the good things about our relationship.

Igetit, about what you said in your last post I understand what you are saying. The thing is, when I first met her thats how I was. I havent changed at all. I did what I wanted, took what I wanted, always got my way and thats how I still am. I guess she figured after some time together I would soften up and give in a little. Well I guess I didnt and she was tired of it. So I gave in a little. This weekend we are going to a museum she wants to go to (well I do too, we have been talking about it for awhile). Anyway, things are good for now, I guess Ill see how long it lasts.

 

[Igetit!]

Good luck,man. I hope everything works out for you. I honestly don't think anything has really been resolved. I just think the two of you were distracted from the REAL problem by sex or whatever. But hey,you said that everything is fine and the two of you are happy again, so I guess that's all that matters.