Girlfriend gettin on my nerves

[Delly2000]

So I have been dating this girl since about August last year. She is great. She is cute. Not smoking hot..which is cool. She is supportive (she helps me with my presentations for work) and a giver. I feel comfortable with her most of the time. We have taken trips etc. She is intelligent (PHD). And she is loyal.

But there are times when she can be a bit much. I spent alot of time with her this week and weekend. We did a lot of fun stuff (boxing match, a football match, dinner in a quaint town, ferry ride, movie etc). But there were moments when she would get upset if I didn't want to stick to her idea of the plan.

I told her we would be in time for the boxing match but that I wanted to play soccer which I always do..but she expected me to cut my soccer short so we could be there early to get seats. I came in late and she was upset. Until we got to the boxing match and found seats. Then she enjoyed herself. Keep in mind boxing was my idea all along and I purchased the seats.


I am thinking that she should be grateful that I am keeping her busy doing all these things and I enjoy spending time with her. But it seems like she is not appreciative and she just wants more and more. I am just wondering if this small acting out is a precursor to something larger down the line. Or if I am giving her too much and should give in smaller doses.

Not sure what to do. As of right now I am trying to keep my distance a bit. Havent seen her since Sunday morning. She wanted to come over last night but I said I was busy.

Any thoughts? How should I play this one?

 

[samspade]

Try not to forecast her future actions. Just think about the here and now. If she's annoying you, scale back your time together (which you did). She may get the message. If she doesn't and you continue to be bothered, you don't need to keep seeing her. I know that sounds simple - but that's how I see these things.

 

[pinhas]

It seems that she took all the time you spent lately as a "step-up" in your relationship and now expect more and more, and would want so much time investment more often. Classic case of "give a finger and they want the whole hand".

Spend some time apart in the next week or two, scale back your time together and make her understand that you have your own life, interests and activities.

 

[The Duke]

she just wants more and more.

Sounds like a normal woman to me. :yes:

I'd just keep my eyes open with this one. Sounds like you like to cram a lot into your schedule and are one that is willing to be flexible so you can do it all. She however isn't as flexible and likes things more laid out and doesn't want to have her style cramped. Its probably not anything personal, just a difference in how she prefers to organize her activities.

 

[L B]

I am the male version of your girl when it comes to sticking with the plan and arriving on time or earlier. It used to drive my girl crazy all the time too. We compromise early on on that issue and not let it bother our relationship. I got less uptight about it over time and she started to stick to the schedule more and more.

That's more of a compatibility issue and you need to talk to her about it or it will destroy the relationship.

As for her wanting to spend more and more time with you, that's for you to figure if you're ready.

 

[scrouds]

Women must always be managed. It is up to you to draw AND enforce boundaries.

Its even worse when living together. About a month ago, the gf and I butted heads about some empty ice cream containers. I wanted to use them to freeze stock, she wanted to get rid of them. This was one of those cases where it didn't matter at all. I can frankly care less about some plastic containers. But I said to keep them, and that's that. Sometimes you just need to remind a chick who's in charge.

This is one of those times where you wanted to do something, butted heads, and thankfully you carried through. Every now and then you just have to take a stand on something and say "because I said so" and demand she follow through. Women will always test, sooner or later. You can convince a bit, use logic, talk it through. But when you're running around in circles, you just need to stop, put your foot down and say this is how it is.

Next day I saw 2 clean ice cream containers in with the rest of the plasticware.


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ps. Degrees do not make a person intelligent.