Girlfriend gave me confidence, but now I'm curious

[fbplayer06]

tl; dr...cliff notes: i want to bang other girls to catch up with girlfriend's giant sexual history, but i don't know if it's worth losing her or permanently altering how we look at each other.

...

I'm 22, I lost my virginity when I was 19, and I've slept with a total of 5 women.

My girlfriend of 4 months (the longest serious relationship I've ever had) is 23, lost her virginity when she was 13, and has been with around 40 men since then / before meeting me.

We love each other and she says she would take back everything she's done with anyone else if it meant finding me sooner since she tells me I am the love of her life, but I can't help feeling envious of her relatively extensive sexual history considering I've been with so few people.

Granted, I know it's not a race or a contest and a lot of her experiences were for the wrong reason (loneliness-curing flings, self-validation, etc.) and most of them ended up meaning nothing compared to the sex/relationship we have with each other now. I just feel like she got the chance to be wild with all sorts of different people and now she wants to settle down with me in a serious relationship, whereas I never got to explore and satisfy my curiosity and I'm stuck wondering what 40 other vaginae would feel like.

Some people may look at it like it took her 40 mistakes until she found the right guy, but it only took me 4 "mistakes" before I found the right woman. However, the fact still remains that she has had her cake (sex) for the last decade and now she gets to eat it, too, in the form of an LTR with me.

I don't want to sit her down and have a talk with her and tell her I want to take a break and sleep with other women or anything because she has an amazing personality and doing that would permanently change our chemistry for the worse. I know there are other fish in the sea, but that's sort of my problem: I want to go fishing without getting rid of my current catch.

How should I go about changing my way of thinking? I realize I need to either man up and break up with her and start banging other women, or just be content with my measly 5 number...but I am afraid I will lose this amazing person or never be able to find anyone like her once I'm done sowing my wild oats.

Advice appreciated, and thank you in advance.

 

[fbplayer06]

On 2nd thought, after reading what I just typed, it sounds like it's simply my ego wanting to have a bigger number than my girlfriend's...for no rational reason at all. If her number were 4 instead of 40, I wouldn't care at all.

I am curious, but not enough to risk what I have going with this woman.

Mod, you can delete this thread.

 

[terran2k]

you can't be afraid of losing anyone. it'll make you do things and rationalize some really bad behavior. if you're not cool with her riding 40 poles ( and Im sure it's more) then break up now, it'll be harder later on. Wait till the skeletons start coming out her closet around the 6 month mark.

 

[Strelok]

You have the chance to go with many other girls without feel guilty for it,see it like that.
It's for her own good,for the relationship
And dont forget to double the number she told you,so probably its 80.

 

[DonJuanit0]

Why did you learn about it in the first place?!?

I don't know about you guys but I never ask and I never want to be asked something like this! I think it's in the bible or somewhere, I've read it before...
What will be the benefits by learning something like this?
If I knew that my girl has f*cked 40+ people and she is only 23 I would feel like sh*t actually... I don't want to ruin your story but that's just for me... She might be the great person you talk about and she might be faithfull to you but don't forget that she is a woman...

I think you are infatuated by this girl...

Anyway, it's your desicion and your life, and not what you ask in this post!


You are 22, I think you have many years ahead before settling with 1 woman!
You can either cheat her, or break up with her if you really want to taste all the other pussies out there... There is no other way... I would cheat...
What you will do, I guess it's your desicion...

Gl anyway...

 

[brekke]

Wow, that girl is a total *****. I would not even waste my time on a tramp like that.

 

[kingsam]

BOO F.UCKING WHO, thanks for the blog

your GF is a slag(slut) ... thats why you are wondering all this crap, your gut-intstincts are telling you summin' isnt quite right...
40 is a extreemly high no. for a 23yr old

----
for a 22yr old you are very whiny, and you have decades to meet good women (who havent got 8x (!!!!) the number of sexual partenrs you have)
---
as Donjuanit0 said you are infatuated, you have oneitis and will smother her soon, she will get bored and she will probably dump you for a BBD(or an orbiter - i bet she has some of those!), so dont worry too much about this problem... it will sort itself out

the lock and key analogy ...
- its a good key of it opens lots of locks...
- its a bad lock if it gets opend by lots of keys!

 

[fbplayer06]

You guys call her a tramp, etc., but she has changed recently (the last few years), or so she says. She no longer spreads her legs so easily and is more focused on ensuring a serious relationship develops instead of just a few dates with sex for dessert. She also has told me that she doesn't think 40 is that big of a number for someone her age, but she probably says that to not make herself feel like ****. I think it's an enormous number and obviously I have an issue with it or I wouldn't be here, but I would still feel bad if I put my relationship with this girl on the line over something that's in the past and isn't really a part of her personality anymore. Isn't it who she is now what counts, not who she was or what she's done?

 

[kingsam]

Isn't it who she is now what counts, not who she was or what she's done?

yes and no, 40 is a massive red flag...
maybe she has changed, only time will tell with that...

 

[DonJuanit0]

You guys call her a tramp, etc., but she has changed recently (the last few years)

Last few years? So years is not 1 but 2+ so, she f*cked 40 men from 13 to 21! WTF m8?!?

She no longer spreads her legs so easily and is more focused on ensuring a serious relationship develops instead of just a few dates with sex for dessert.She also has told me that she doesn't think 40 is that big of a number for someone her age, but she probably says that to not make herself feel like ****.

So, your brais tell you that she WOULD tell you that she f*cks everything it has a d1ck on it?!? I don't think so...

When I was in a LTR and were cheating on my GFs I was saying pretty much the same things...

Isn't it who she is now what counts, not who she was or what she's done?

So, you think she changed just because she met you and realized that it's better to f*ck one guy rather than f*cking anyone? You changed her? How?
Did she wake up one day and said, I'll be loyal to my LTR from now on?

Since you had this convo, didn't you ask her if she has ever cheated? Cause I bet she has...

As kingsam said, only time will show!!

 

[Kal0051]

You guys call her a tramp, etc., but she has changed recently (the last few years), or so she says. She no longer spreads her legs so easily and is more focused on ensuring a serious relationship develops instead of just a few dates with sex for dessert. She also has told me that she doesn't think 40 is that big of a number for someone her age, but she probably says that to not make herself feel like ****. I think it's an enormous number and obviously I have an issue with it or I wouldn't be here, but I would still feel bad if I put my relationship with this girl on the line over something that's in the past and isn't really a part of her personality anymore. Isn't it who she is now what counts, not who she was or what she's done?

so what, now that she's done her slvt phase your gonna pretend she's a good little girl instead of the worthless wh0re she really is? Once a slvt, always a slvt.

 

[fbplayer06]

She's never cheated in a LTR or while she was with the guy she happened to "be seeing" at the moment (which would last for weeks or maybe a month or two). I'm not worried that she will cheat on me; actually, I am quite certain she will not because she can't afford losing a guy like me.

What does bother me is the fact that she has cycled through a new guy every few months since she was 13, albeit for different reasons as she grew older. For example, when she was young she let guys bang her so she'd feel loved / better about herself...nowadays (or "recently," before she met me) she's still been relatively "easy" but has had a substantial relationship in mind whenever she met someone new. Do the math and 40 is simple a new guy every 3 months since losing her virginity. I want you all to convince me that that is not so many...'cause I surely can't convince myself.

So based on what I just said I guess I've lost track of my original question or worry, since the person she is today is the person I love, even though the person she used to be makes me want to throw up...

 

[fbplayer06]

so what, now that she's done her slvt phase your gonna pretend she's a good little girl instead of the worthless wh0re she really is? Once a slvt, always a slvt.

You really think that? I'm not trying to defend her past behavior (I hate sluts), but she has changed for the better and she deserves credit for that. She is no longer the low self-esteemed girl who would bang just anyone; she's confident today and has some standards and sense of self-worth. I don't agree with the "once a slut, always a slut" mentality.

I feel like this thread is digressing. If she's the better person I recognize her to be today, would it be worth it sacrificing my relationship with her (which I really do value) in order to have the fun she enjoyed for the last decade?

 

[DonJuanit0]

actually, I am quite certain she will not because she can't afford losing a guy like me.

What does bother me is the fact that she has cycled through a new guy every few months since she was 13, albeit for different reasons as she grew older.

I wish I had your confidence! And trust me I am a very confident person!!

Well, as you say, she can't afford to lose a guy like you so what's to worry about?

Your main question is already answered, cheat on her or dump her! It's your choice!

 

[brekke]

How does getting sloppy fortieths give you confidence?

 

[fbplayer06]

lol sloppy fortieths lol...it was/is the experience with her in the sack (as #5; 1-4 didn't really go too extravagantly or last too long) that taught me how to be assertive and passionate in bed. now i want to try it out with other women before committing like some 22 yr old idiot getting married.


Thanks for the replies, everyone. I'll put some thought into everything.

 

[zekko]

She's screwed 40 guys at 23? Yeah, that's a major red flag. As is the fact that she wasn't too ashamed to tell you about it. I imagine you'll be getting your chance to run around soon enough.

 

[Donnie Darko]

So is the lesson learned here that you don't ever ask a woman how many sexual partners she has had?

I never ask because I just don't see what good can come from it. I also deflect the question when asked because again I don't see what good can come from it.

40 is a fvcking huge number for her age. I hope you are using condoms or made her take STD tests.

Cheat on her or dump her.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Why did you learn about it in the first place?!?

I don't know about you guys but I never ask and I never want to be asked something like this! I think it's in the bible or somewhere, I've read it before...
What will be the benefits by learning something like this?
If I knew that my girl has f*cked 40+ people and she is only 23 I would feel like sh*t actually... I don't want to ruin your story but that's just for me... She might be the great person you talk about and she might be faithfull to you but don't forget that she is a woman...

I think you are infatuated by this girl...

Anyway, it's your desicion and your life, and not what you ask in this post!


You are 22, I think you have many years ahead before settling with 1 woman!
You can either cheat her, or break up with her if you really want to taste all the other pussies out there... There is no other way... I would cheat...
What you will do, I guess it's your desicion...

Gl anyway...

This dude nailed it!

fbplayer: Flat out, your girl's a skank. The fact that you say she use to let guys fuvk her to "feel better about herself" shows an extreme low self-esteem problem and most likely she has daddy issues that made it that way.

40 guys at 23 is porn-star pacing for a chick... and as you know the number is most likely higher than that, since most girls dumb down their actual number.

Secondly go read Rollo's Iron Rules.... one of the first rules is to NEVER EVER EVER EVER under any circumstance reveal how many women you've been with..... its a lose-lose situation. If the number is really low, she'll think your an inexperienced AFC and she'll know she can manipulate you with her pu$$y. If the number is too high, she might have the same fears and reservations that your currently having and cheat or break up with you. Bottom line is there is absolutely NO GOOD that can come from revealing how many women you've been with to the girl your currently banging.

The best way to handle this is to be sarcastic and tease her; it will increase attraction, keep her wondering and never let her form a true opinion on you, which women want to do so badly.

Lastly, FUVK THIS GIRL for a second; What about you bro? Who cares about the girl, it SHOULD BE all about you and what you want. At 22 its a SERIOUS mistake to be tied to in a LTR to a girl with a checkered past and who's leg's stay open longer than a 7/11. You should be out there with your krew meeting and fuvkin' new women. You don't want to look back at your youth 20 years from now in a miserable marriage wishing you would've played the field.

Bail on this head-case and start meeting new girls.





PIMP

 

[nismo-4]

This dude nailed it!

fbplayer: Flat out, your girl's a skank. The fact that you say she use to let guys fuvk her to "feel better about herself" shows an extreme low self-esteem problem and most likely she has daddy issues that made it that way.

40 guys at 23 is porn-star pacing for a chick... and as you know the number is most likely higher than that, since most girls dumb down their actual number.

Secondly go read Rollo's Iron Rules.... one of the first rules is to NEVER EVER EVER EVER under any circumstance reveal how many women you've been with..... its a lose-lose situation. If the number is really low, she'll think your an inexperienced AFC and she'll know she can manipulate you with her pu$$y. If the number is too high, she might have the same fears and reservations that your currently having and cheat or break up with you. Bottom line is there is absolutely NO GOOD that can come from revealing how many women you've been with to the girl your currently banging.

The best way to handle this is to be sarcastic and tease her; it will increase attraction, keep her wondering and never let her form a true opinion on you, which women want to do so badly.

Lastly, FUVK THIS GIRL for a second; What about you bro? Who cares about the girl, it SHOULD BE all about you and what you want. At 22 its a SERIOUS mistake to be tied to in a LTR to a girl with a checkered past and who's leg's stay open longer than a 7/11. You should be out there with your krew meeting and fuvkin' new women. You don't want to look back at your youth 20 years from now in a miserable marriage wishing you would've played the field.

Bail on this head-case and start meeting new girls.





PIMP

Listen to your uncle Pimp-sicle and DonJuanit0!

OP, double the # of guys she said she slept with. Yes, I know having a gf gives a man an ego boost since he has a female's love and he won't be the butt of his friends' jokes. Why the f**k are you settling anyway?

I know that girls are losing their virginity at younger than 13. And a lot of guys are lucky to lose their virginity at 23!

Remember that this girl might leave you for someone else and add to that growing # of sex partners.