Girlfriend being cold and distant in texts

The North Dragon

Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
104
Reaction score
1
We've been together for 1.5 years and just recently maybe last 2 weeks she being cold.

Before I used to wake up to texts from her totally happy but now she hardly contacts me. She would rather phone than text at times.

She has recently lost her job to and works part time at this other place and babysits at times when she can. She really pushes herself and don't get to see each other much coz she finished late and to make things worse she moved in with into a flat with her friend because she lost her job.

She's always on her phone and Facebook talking and texting when with me and will be when am not there. She probably does initiate more conversation than me but I figured that was a good thing.

If I was to text her now she probably would reply straight away but just recently doesn't text as much. Yesterday she worked 12-8 and I never heard from her until she finished which is very unusual from her.

The only recent fight we had was when a guy she saw for 2 weeks,way before me and her started dating, sent a snapchat and I flipped big time which I shouldn't have but we made up and everything was fine. This was about 2 weeks ago.
At the moment I have kind of stepped back like she is doing and not initiating. Right now I just want to sent her a text telling her a I love her coz I very rarely do that.
 

The North Dragon

Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
104
Reaction score
1
She shown me it and she hadn't snapchatted him it was only him that sent it to her. Wasn't really an ex if they never dated only meet.

However she did lie to me saying she didn't know who it was from but I knew exactly who it was and caught and she owned up straight away claiming that ' she didn't want me getting pissed off'

She has know deleted snapchat
 

nismo-4

Moderator
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
4,407
Reaction score
1,108
Location
From New Orleans, Louisiana to Atlanta, Georgia!!!
Your princess is in another castle. Hate to say it to you. Always keep your options open. Even in a relationship.

Case closed. Go spin more plates if you aren't already.
 

The North Dragon

Don Juan
Joined
May 4, 2012
Messages
104
Reaction score
1
How do you figure?
I don't struggle to get girls and she will know this but I suck at keeping girls interested whilst in a relationship. I don't mean keeping a girlfriend interested, I mean girls on the side interested.
 

Don-Kong

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 15, 2014
Messages
265
Reaction score
13
Talk to her, tell her what's on your mind dude.
Don't sack her off for your imagination as it is working overtime.
Perhaps she's depressed?
There's a million reasons for how things are turning out but catastrophising is a natural thinking pattern so don't fall for it. Find out what's up before you do your head in.
 

geenamiller89

New Member
Joined
Jun 9, 2014
Messages
3
Reaction score
0
Location
USA
"Right now I just want to sent her a text telling her a I love her coz I very rarely do that." - This is the statement that explained it all.

The way I see it, you are not doing your part as her boyfriend. Based on your statement, you RARELY tell her you love her/text and wonder why there is a change in communication. She is in a tough situation right now and her boyfriend is passive then suddenly a guy comes in who cares for her and understand her situation.

"She probably does initiate more conversation than me but I figured that was a good thing". You should be proactive and not expect her to do all the entertaining.
 

Tictac

Banned
Joined
Jul 28, 2009
Messages
3,692
Reaction score
1,256
Location
North America, probably an airport
Text can be a lousy way to communicate. She and you talk by phone. So reading 'a severe decline' is over the top.

If you care for this woman, go with what works - talk to her, be with her.

She's in a tough spot. Few people can lose a job without some emotional toll.
 

goldengoose

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 12, 2011
Messages
479
Reaction score
116
The North Dragon said:
We've been together for 1.5 years and just recently maybe last 2 weeks she being cold.

Before I used to wake up to texts from her totally happy but now she hardly contacts me. She would rather phone than text at times.

She has recently lost her job to and works part time at this other place and babysits at times when she can. She really pushes herself and don't get to see each other much coz she finished late and to make things worse she moved in with into a flat with her friend because she lost her job.

She's always on her phone and Facebook talking and texting when with me and will be when am not there. She probably does initiate more conversation than me but I figured that was a good thing.

If I was to text her now she probably would reply straight away but just recently doesn't text as much. Yesterday she worked 12-8 and I never heard from her until she finished which is very unusual from her.

The only recent fight we had was when a guy she saw for 2 weeks,way before me and her started dating, sent a snapchat and I flipped big time which I shouldn't have but we made up and everything was fine. This was about 2 weeks ago.
At the moment I have kind of stepped back like she is doing and not initiating. Right now I just want to sent her a text telling her a I love her coz I very rarely do that.


Don't send her an "I Love You" text. Guys make the mistake of changing their behavior when their girlfriend starts acting different. You will become an AFC and that will end your relationship faster. Tell her stuff like that in person to see her reaction.

The coldness, lack of communication, and the lying is a red flag for you to take notice.

What you need to do is go out with her and observe her. See if she is acting normally with you. Pay attention to her eyes. Is she looking at you like she always does or looking different at you? Pay attention to the conversations. Is she talking to you like normal, cold, or like a friend? Does she show affection? Stiil intimate with sex? If everything is off, you have a problem.

If you can tell that more than one of those are off, then you have a problem and need to start looking for someone else and ending the relationship.

Losing her job can be a stressful situation and people handle their problems differently. She might need you to step up and be there for her.

Usually when you get coldness, her being distant, and another guy, you are on your way out. Take her out and see how she acts when you two are together. If you are still geting coldness and her being distant, you know the show is about to be over.
 

JohnChops

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 9, 2012
Messages
2,763
Reaction score
491
Location
No more keyboard jockeying . Action is the place.
geenamiller89 said:
"Right now I just want to sent her a text telling her a I love her coz I very rarely do that." - This is the statement that explained it all.

The way I see it, you are not doing your part as her boyfriend. Based on your statement, you RARELY tell her you love her/text and wonder why there is a change in communication. She is in a tough situation right now and her boyfriend is passive then suddenly a guy comes in who cares for her and understand her situation.

"She probably does initiate more conversation than me but I figured that was a good thing". You should be proactive and not expect her to do all the entertaining.

This is clearly a woman.
 

TARKUS

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2013
Messages
77
Reaction score
34
The North Dragon said:
Before I used to wake up to texts from her totally happy but now she hardly contacts me.
it all starts with texts then it goes to hell from there. less and less you will get until she breaks up. be prepared.
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
3,638
Reaction score
2,638
JohnChops said:
This is clearly a woman.
I thought the same thing too.
 

Big Nuts

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2013
Messages
278
Reaction score
39
Location
P00napalooza
Go up to her from behind and grab her breasts/vagina, does she recoil in horror or does she coo like a baby and swell with pride that you are her boyfriend. Watch her response. If she recoils, you are a free man. Find fresh p00n.
 

Big Nuts

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 31, 2013
Messages
278
Reaction score
39
Location
P00napalooza
PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Wisdom.

Its creepy when they recoil though, ice cold.

Yes, but you have your answer instantaneously. Grabbing her cvnt from behind has the added effect of demonstrating an alpha attitude like you own your sh!t. Go out bold, (or she may reconsider)....but the reality is, the AFC doesn't have the guts to do it because he doesn't understand the paradox inherent in women.

Boldness, wins.
Running the show, wins.

Meek, loses.
Her calling the shots, loses.

Never, ever, ever let a woman run your show.
 

narcissist

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2013
Messages
1,395
Reaction score
502
Location
New York, NY
geenamiller89 said:
"Right now I just want to sent her a text telling her a I love her coz I very rarely do that." - This is the statement that explained it all.

The way I see it, you are not doing your part as her boyfriend. Based on your statement, you RARELY tell her you love her/text and wonder why there is a change in communication. She is in a tough situation right now and her boyfriend is passive then suddenly a guy comes in who cares for her and understand her situation.

"She probably does initiate more conversation than me but I figured that was a good thing". You should be proactive and not expect her to do all the entertaining.
agreed this is most definitely a woman
 

EbbsAndFlows

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2014
Messages
84
Reaction score
3
Yeah, trust your gut. You're seeing the signs. Don't think I've ever seen a girl get suddenly cold with no repercussion.
 

ScoundrelDays

New Member
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
9
Reaction score
0
Sounds like my last relationship. It ended in a month and a half after I started noticing ****. I'm not saying it's the same but it might be the beginning of the end.
 

Nn877

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 21, 2013
Messages
170
Reaction score
10
The fact that you are noticing the difference is basically end game. You shouldn't be tripping. Safe to say you have no plates and are becoming emotionally invested in this relationship more than you should. If you thought constant validation, sex on demand, wake up texts every single day without you rarely putting anything in, you're mistaken.

Sounds like she's had it rough, take her out for drinks, like first date status, crack jokes laugh, some place new not your typical dinner date venue, take her back to your place or hers and lay down the pipe like it was last fu*ck you had. Be somewhat distant next few days and see how she reacts. Sitting around wondering why my gf has gone cold isn't gonna do sh*t.

And as other posters said DO NOT send "I love you" text

Also that fight you had I'm sure you think everything is fine and okay but trust she she def took note of your insecurity of this 2 week guy no matter what she told you after the fight. Never make another man forbidden fruit EVER. Usually it's a no win situation regardless when another guy has entered the picture, esp that far into relationship, but you trippin abt it will only intensify the situation, distance is prob her talking to this guy behind your back now. Or it can be nothing it all. I recommend the above mentioned. Good luck bro
 
Top