You know what? I agree with your girlfriend. Grinding is a LOT of fun, especially with girls I don't know. So is kissing women I just met that night at the club. When I was 22 one of my favorites things was to hook up with a woman who "has a boyfriend" and was just "out with the girls" that night. It usually meant she'd leave me alone after I towled off Big Jim and the Twins and went home that night after knocking it out with her. Man, that wa great. No strings, hot sex and she'd just go away afterwards to tell her BF how "she was drunk, I was hot, one thing lead to another,...and,...."
Yes, I'm being sarcastic, but she's only doing what a woman her age is going to do, and you should be also - exploring her options. At 20 there is simply no way in hell you should be monogamous for any number of reasons.
comic_relief said:
I could easily be spinning more plates and probably am without hanging out or anything. I already had in the past week three girls ask if they could have sex with me. I turned it down because of the entire girlfriend thing.
And so now you've discarded valuable options in favor of a girl who will explore her own in spite of you or any pseudo-committment. Break yourself off and play the field COMIC. The more Plates you spin the more confidence you have.
Your conversation with her makes you seem like a doting wife, not a man with options. At this stage it really makes little difference what you'd have said, but your conversation should've gone like this:
Her: I'm gonna go clubing with the girls tonight.
You: Alright, have fun.
Her: So that's OK with you?
You: Of course. I've got things to do tonight anyway.
Her: Oh, well, like what things?
You: Oh, my grandmother's Ill and I thought I'd see her after I finished my resume up for a job I'm interested in. Then I was thinking about heading to bed early after I went to the gym since I've got another (interview, final exam etc.) tomorrow. (anything suitably responsible, but non-descript will do).
Her: Oh,..
You've already blown this situation by playing the insecure-posessive card that she completely expected you to, but in the future remember that when you're facing anything similar it's an automatic sh!t test. Your best defence is to allow her imagination to work for you. Always say less than is necessary and be ambiguous but well meaning with just enough hint that you may not be doing what you tell her you are. Understand, she's going to go regardless of what your reaction is, but it's be far better for her to go with a tinge of planted doubt than for her to go thinking what an insecure optionless chump she's saddled with. In either event you simply don't call her back - let her come to you. Consider yourself broken up now.