Girl who won't admit it....

[hi2u]

*** UPDATE BELOW ***

What do you do with a girl who throws out all these IOIs but LJBFs me. I dig this chick a lot, and I've worked thru my oneitis, but she's in my friends circle, so it's hard to ignore her. I'm thinking about just ignoring her completely. She has been on vacation for almost 2 weeks, and calls me almost every night. When she doesn't call me, she calls around to my friends to try to find me, I guess maybe dropping hints to get me to call her??? She tells me she has the most fun and feels the best when she's around me, she laughs and smiles at everything I say, she stares deeply into my eyes whenever she gets a chance, she initiates kino playfully, she buys me gifts and offers to pay for things when we're together.

I asked her how she felt about me on Friday night, and pretty much shut her down when she told me we we're just friends. She called me on Saturday, sounding sick, when I was hanging out with another interest of mine and I acted really cool and she said she 'couldn't sleep' and I told her we'd meet up on Sunday night and talk about it.

We got some coffee tonight, and I played it cool, but told her I was just a little pissed off because I felt like she was leading me on. I listed all of the IOIs above, and she kind of looked at me like she was busted. I kept throwing down hints that I didn't want to hang out with her anymore and she would give me this look of utter despair.

I find it fun to play this game with her, and she seems to be willing, so I'm going to continue, while I work my other options and continue to try sarging. What do you guys think? I'm pretty new at this 'options' stuff, but this is the most fun I've had in my entire life.

 

[Xtravaganza]

We got some coffee tonight, and I played it cool, but told her I was just a little pissed off because I felt like she was leading me on. I listed all of the IOIs above, and she kind of looked at me like she was busted. I kept throwing down hints that I didn't want to hang out with her anymore and she would give me this look of utter despair.

You basically tried to "logically" argue with her about her feelings. Don't do that.

Just take her somewhere quiet and kiss her.
If she kisses you back, good for you you just got yourself a FB/GF
Is she rejects you, then, good for you she'll stop bugging you.

 

[hi2u]

You basically tried to "logically" argue with her about her feelings. Don't do that.

Just take her somewhere quiet and kiss her.
If she kisses you back, good for you you just got yourself a FB/GF
Is she rejects you, then, good for you she'll stop bugging you.

I don't think I was. Maybe I didn't explain it clearly enough. She asked me why I thought the way I did, and it was to explain to her why I thought that she was interested in me, not to convince her to like me. You can't change the way people feel about you. I learned that long ago.

Depending on how things go, I may just go for some shock and awe and try that after a week or 2 of ignoring. It's all about the prep.... I have to be careful because this chick is in my circle of friends, and I can't easily exclude her without some big time drama going down.

 

[j8snx1]

""""I don't think I was. Maybe I didn't explain it clearly enough. She asked me why I thought the way I did, and it was to explain to her why I thought that she was interested in me, not to convince her to like me. You can't change the way people feel about you. I learned that long ago."""""

1) Oh yes you did argue logically. Explaining it more clearly won't get her to be yours, 100% FACT!
2) If you learned that attraction isn't a choice, then why did you bother to waste your time trying to find out WHY she only saw you as a friend?

My assumption @ this point is that while she gave clear and positive IOIs and what not, you didn't act upon it until much later, which probably landed you into the friends zone. I guess my 2cents for your post is that when you see that the girl you're sarging on is giving more than obvious IOIs and you're really into her, go for the gold!

 

[hi2u]

Note on interpretation: When I say "Maybe I didn't explain it clearly enough," that is intended to be interpreted as "Maybe I didn't explain it clearly enough to you guys." But that conversation was of little consequence, as you've nailed my problem and it has nothing to do with that.

You probably have it, is the waiting too long... I never really thought of it that way (For some reason???). Think I should just cut her out completely? It will crush her and cause some drama but she's the typical boy-abusing girl that has 3 AFCs following her around at all times of the day, so I don't feel sorry for her.

... and as far as IOIs, I forgot to mention all the typical retarded girl tests she tried to play on me.

 

[j8snx1]

Yeah usually if you wait too long with a girl that's into you a lot, she will lose that attraction towards you and move on.

As for burning the bridges with her, dont do it yet. If she's the oh-so-confident girl who abuses guys and has 3 chumps following her around, obviously she's the kind of girl who seeks attention and loves to string along little boys around, but you're the man! Get her to come after you my friend!

HOW?!

Don't contact her, have her contact you. Whenever you two meet or talk, be friendly but be indifferent(carefree/apathetic**to a certain degree, no overboard**. Live your life to the fullest extent, and flirt with other girls, A LOT MORE EFFECTIVE if you happen to be flirting with other girls in front of her hahaha.

Just don't take the whole rejection thing overboard my friend..it's not worth your time sitting there and brooding over why it didnt work out. But rather, you should be oozing with the aura that says "my life is freakin' awesome, and if you ladies don't want to be a part of it, it's your loss," and don't let her string YOU along, but have her come after you by showing higher value

 

[MacDiddy]

You're not very flirtatious are you?

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

Dude, I was in a similar situation as you a long time back. The girl gave me obvious IOIs and I didn't act upon them. She lost interest and moved and I fell in the friendszone.

Most important thing is you find other chicks. Ignoring her might make her think you are angry at her and your hurt. She will try intiating contact and keep the so called friendship going so she doesn't feel guilty about the rejection.

You have to show her that you are not angry at her, she didnt hurt you and that everything is still perfectly normal between the two of you. End of the day its her loss for saying no to you. Hang out with other chicks. Dont make it obvious that you are trying to make her jealous. Hang more often with ur mates, seem a little busy with other things.

Another thing, dont be sorry for anything you have done so far. Just act like everything is back to normal.

 

[hi2u]

That was my original plan, but I think I let my anger / attitude get the best of me tonight after we talked and I worked myself up into convincing myself that I just needed to tell her to go fvck herself. That's about as AFC as it gets, eh?

Tomorrow night my other interest will be coming to a party with me, and LBJF girl will be there. I know my other interest has somewhat of a competitive thing with her, so it might just drive her nuts. I have no problems playing these games with this girl. Matter of fact, I think I've enjoyed flirting with her and playing little games so much, I let it keep me from going further.

Thanks for the advice.

I've just never had a "just friend" whom I met 3 weeks ago tell me "i'd kill myself" if I stop talking to her. It's tempting to call her bluff straight up by ignoring her completely, but I guess I'm calling it out in a different way. What it comes down to is that the "me" she really likes is the way I treat her as a girl I'm interested in, NOT the way I'd treat her if she was just my friend.

 

[hi2u]

Turns out this ***** is a very adept social attention *****. She plays these games with every guy in our social group it turns out. I should have picked up on the "I don't really like other girls" speech she gave me several times. My good friend & I watched her behavior throughout the night and he had a good hour worth of one-on-one with her this morning. Turns out she uses the same IOIs on every guy she comes in contact with to get their attention and hold it. I wonder how many guy's she's told with total confidence "you are most fun person I've ever hung out with."

Getting played sucks. Oh well, I've got dates on Wednesday and Thursday of this week.

 

[tmpgstx]

LOL! This is good. "I'll kill myself if i don't get to talk to you anymore".

How does she find the time to call all her guy friends every night and play this delicate balancing act? It must be a full time job. Not to mention, it keeps her fan club going.

See how far she'll go to get that attention ... she might even give her coochie away just to keep your attention flowing.

 

[hi2u]

It really was very difficult to convince myself of this, because she appears to be very sweet, caring, and innocent from the outside. Not only that, but she gives off the APPEARANCE of being open about her life, but really, she only reveals what she feels is required to make someone feel close. Pretty sure she gets a damn big ego boost off of the LBJF's she doses out too.

HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER!

I doubt I'll be getting any coochie on this one, I probably already burnt the bridge big time by calling her out on it tonight. I hate attention *****s. We'll see how far she's willing to go to keep mine. She threw down some jealousy IOIs last night when I was ignoring her and flirting with another girl. It was supposedly 'her party' and I passed out around midnight, which really got her pissed. I wonder how much abuse she can take before she snaps and goes one way or another.

 

[tmpgstx]

These girls are masters. Only a true DJ Jedi can crack the code.

She plays the part like an actress. You're sweet, so she's sweet. You're a sex hound, so she's really flirty.

So how DOES one really get to her? Make her grovel for real?

Take ALL attention away from her. Don't accept her calls and e-mail. She will come over to your place and that's when you start in with the old back rub and NAIL her good! Start the cycle over again. This time you have more leverage because you've tapped that azz.

 

[hi2u]

She is amazing. This girl is nearly 18 years old and doesn't have a drivers license. Why not? "I just get rides everywhere." She uses her network of boys to get around town.

Honestly, the chase of a girl like this is a huge turn on, as much as I don't like attention *****s.

 

[Deadly_Assassin]

I bet when you talk to her mates they tell you she doesn't lead guys on and isnt a attention *****?

 

[tmpgstx]

Does she wear alot of short skirts? *nods head* I thought so ..lol.

 

[hi2u]

hahaha, did you even have to ask?