Girl refuses to have sex

[pabloDJ]

Last update: today she threw at me the "im not same as before with you, i dont feel the same blablabla" lol i said ok, thats cool. If thats what u feel. Bye.

Well, you guys were right, she was not longer interested in me. One thing im aware is that i didnt get attached like other times, bc i have another plate. Easy move on.

Theres one thing, im pretty sure im going to see her in dance classes 3 times a week, how should i act? Ignore her, be indifferent?

 

[Jaylan]

^Kid, you messed up big time. She was interested, but you went about things the wrong way. When you pressure and rush young girls into sex the way you did, thats what happens. Girls like her want to feel at ease and comfortable when they have sex with a boy. They dont want to feel pressure.

Just let it go and treat her like you would any other girl you are not interested in. Tbh, a lot of the advice you read on this forum is to be applied to grown WOMEN, not young highschool good girls who have no (or little) sexual experience whatsoever. When it comes to girls like that, you have to show you understand them and that its not about getting your dik wet. You gotta take your time and slow down...swinging for the fences scares a lot of these girls off, even if they originally wanted the sex.

Go for the slvtty girls like I said, if you want easy quick sex.

 

[pabloDJ]

^Kid, you messed up big time. She was interested, but you went about things the wrong way. When you pressure and rush young girls into sex the way you did, thats what happens. Girls like her want to feel at ease and comfortable when they have sex with a boy. They dont want to feel pressure.

Just let it go and treat her like you would any other girl you are not interested in. Tbh, a lot of the advice you read on this forum is to be applied to grown WOMEN, not young highschool good girls who have no (or little) sexual experience whatsoever. When it comes to girls like that, you have to show you understand them and that its not about getting your dik wet. You gotta take your time and slow down...swinging for the fences scares a lot of these girls off, even if they originally wanted the sex.

Go for the slvtty girls like I said, if you want easy quick sex.

yeah, i was rushing things.

another thing happened yesterday.
first im going to tell what happened days before, saturday i was mad and didnt talk to her and she either, we were supposed to go to a party. so on sunday i texted her and she said she is mad bc i didnt talk to her all saturday blablbla, after a few exchanges i said ok talk you later when you are not angry. then on monday she said to me the i dont feel the same blablá.

so then at night her mother(i saw both of them in dance clases and greet them like anyother person). when im leaving dance classes sent me a text saying why we fight and wht happened. i said ask your daughter. then her mother tells me, shes mad bc i dindt talk to her on saturday, that i talk to her whenever i want, that she is crying, and she wouldnt be crying if she care for me. i said ok im going to talk to her.

i sent the girl a text saying im going to call you, she said she need headphone to talk by phone bc it doesnt work well and she doesnt have right now. we started talking by text of what happened she threw at me lot of ****, that she is really mad, that i was a jackass, she cant be with a person she doesnt feel anything, that i talk to her when i want, blablbla.

i dont know how i ended up saying ok lets meet and talk better, she said no i dont want to, call me. after a few exchanges of me saying no to calling, i end up saying ok, ill call you tomorrow at x time. she said ok, im going to sleep. and she algo got mad at her mother and stopped talking to her.(bc she was talking about me to her) and said to me not to talk to her mother.

and her mother telling me that her daughter is mad at her, to wait for her to calm down, to have patience.
all of this just bc i didnt talk to her on saturday.

wft. yeah i know i did everything wrong. she is ****ing crazy. what do you think guys?

 

[Jaylan]

Shes not crazy. You pressured a young girl into sex, then ignored her after you got mad at her for not doing what you wanted her to. I think it makes sense that shes upset. If you wanna date this girl youre going to have to make up for that.

I think you should chalk this up as a loss and find a girl more suited to you. You just wanna rush and have sex but this chick seems like shes looking for more than just that. And now her mother is involved. If you aren't trying to commit and be an understanding guy to this girl, then just back away now.

Save yourself the drama.

 

[pabloDJ]

Shes not crazy. You pressured a young girl into sex, then ignored her after you got mad at her for not doing what you wanted her to. I think it makes sense that shes upset. If you wanna date this girl youre going to have to make up for that.

I think you should chalk this up as a loss and find a girl more suited to you. You just wanna rush and have sex but this chick seems like shes looking for more than just that. And now her mother is involved. If you aren't trying to commit and be an understanding guy to this girl, then just back away now.

Save yourself the drama.

i said to her to meet today to talk about it but she didnt want to, she said to call her. im calling her today and i will see. what can i say to her on the phone to make her meet me today. i live a few blocks away.

 

[Epimanes]

If she were my 16yo daughter...... I think I would have my guns out on the kitchen table for your viewing pleasure.

Little girls want to feel safe... They want to feel cared for.. They want to know that you understand them.. They are afraid to get pregnant at such an early age. They want to take things slow because rushing the experience gives them anxiety. They want to make sure they feel they are making a good choice and that your not just using her like a blow up doll. I remember my wife at 16.. I didn't rush sex and we just found other ways to be fun sexually without facing the risks and when SHE was ready she let me know. I assumed it was no PIV until further notice. I helped her make it special by allowing her the time she needed to feel comfortable and expressed I was outcome independant. (Meaning I was happy either way because there was many ways to just have fun with it rather than making it so focused on getting my **** wet)

Epi

 

[pabloDJ]

If she were my 16yo daughter...... I think I would have my guns out on the kitchen table for your viewing pleasure.

Little girls want to feel safe... They want to feel cared for.. They want to know that you understand them.. They are afraid to get pregnant at such an early age. They want to take things slow because rushing the experience gives them anxiety. They want to make sure they feel they are making a good choice and that your not just using her like a blow up doll. I remember my wife at 16.. I didn't rush sex and we just found other ways to be fun sexually without facing the risks and when SHE was ready she let me know. I assumed it was no PIV until further notice. I helped her make it special by allowing her the time she needed to feel comfortable and expressed I was outcome independant. (Meaning I was happy either way because there was many ways to just have fun with it rather than making it so focused on getting my **** wet)

Epi

now i know this is all my fault and i feel like ****t. i dont know what to say to her on the phone.

 

[Epimanes]

Your only 17 man.. Don't rush these things if you truely care for this girl. You have your entire life ahead of you to fvck.

Here's what I did. At that age, you offer her lots of oral sex until she indicates she's ready. You just mention once in a while that you know your young and reaffirm that your really interested in her as a person. Compliment her personality. Say things to her that build her up and things that let her know your ot there just to get laid. You gotta build more comfort.

Now if your goal is to just stick it in and pump out your jizz then she's gunna see right through that because she's afraid once she gives it up your just gunna leave her or be too demanding of it and then it looses its "fun" feeling due to her constantly worrying about consequences of any sort.

Learn to enjoy the entire process... And not worry if the outcome is PIV. Its like going to the amusement park and hitting the biggest and scariest ride first. It makes all the other smaller rides seem faint in comparison. You start with the smaller rides and enjoy them and work your way up to the biggest ride.

Epi

Edit: fyi, I have been with my wife since she was 15 and I was 16. And I now have a 16yo daughter so I see both sides to this coin.

 

[pabloDJ]

Well, talked to her a while ago. I apologized to her, told her im sorry and other stuff but she didnt even care, she blowed me off lots of times when i tried to make us meet. i gave up, thats it. Im not going to try anything more.
I dont know why but i feel relieved. Before all this i talked to my brother and he said to back off and move on. Also i didnt like that her mother was trying to convince me to get her back or do lots of stuff to get her back.

Lesson learned...something good about this is the expiecience i got.

Pd: if there something you dont undestand is bc spanish is my first language and sometimes its hard to translate

 

[Jaylan]

Your only 17 man.. Don't rush these things if you truely care for this girl. You have your entire life ahead of you to fvck.

Here's what I did. At that age, you offer her lots of oral sex until she indicates she's ready. You just mention once in a while that you know your young and reaffirm that your really interested in her as a person. Compliment her personality. Say things to her that build her up and things that let her know your ot there just to get laid. You gotta build more comfort.

Now if your goal is to just stick it in and pump out your jizz then she's gunna see right through that because she's afraid once she gives it up your just gunna leave her or be too demanding of it and then it looses its "fun" feeling due to her constantly worrying about consequences of any sort.

Learn to enjoy the entire process... And not worry if the outcome is PIV. Its like going to the amusement park and hitting the biggest and scariest ride first. It makes all the other smaller rides seem faint in comparison. You start with the smaller rides and enjoy them and work your way up to the biggest ride.

Epi

Edit: fyi, I have been with my wife since she was 15 and I was 16. And I now have a 16yo daughter so I see both sides to this coin.

Listen to this OP.

Much respect Epi. Its good to see good husbands and fathers on this site.

 

[Epimanes]

Listen to this OP.

Much respect Epi. Its good to see good husbands and fathers on this site.

Thanks Jaylan

Its pretty tough sometimes to be the father of 16yo daughter. They want to be treated like adults but still lack full cognitive thinking ability. But I also gotta remember what it was like for me cuz I was in OP's shoes many years ago with my wife (gf at the time). My wife had a lot of the same fears and reactions as the OP's gf when we first did it. And I just reassured her that I'm not leaving nor expecting it to happen all the time. My wife backed off for a bit to see how I was going to react. I just shrugged and was content with whatever. Was happy to just be with her and hanging out and having fun in other ways. Looking back on it I'm glad I didn't push the subject and was happy just bumping uglies even without PIV. There's tons of pleasure to be had without PIV and far less risks.

I'm glad my daughter chooses not to get involved with boys yet though and she's quite open about herself and where's she's at and where she plans on going in life. Both my wife and I talk to her lots about these subjects and in doing so I believe it has helped her to not rush into relationships since she's not feeling any of her needs are going unmet in a parent/child - father/daughter relationships and so she doesn't seek the "missing" approval of her parents like a lot of teens do who are in fatherless homes.

To OP. Does she have both her parents at home? What's her relationship like with them if she does?

 

[pabloDJ]

To OP. Does she have both her parents at home? What's her relationship like with them if she does?

finally i can reply lol, i hate the 10 posts per day.

her parents are divorced like 7/8 years ago, she lives with her mother. the relationship with her mother is good, they do lot of stuff together, they are like all the time together. i dont know how is her relationship with her father, i think its good, they dont see each other much(almost nothing), but i know they text each other, i think everyday.

yesterday at night her mother sent me a text asking so what happened, i told her she blowed me off, bla bla. and she said she doesnt recognize her, but to wait for her. she also said that her daughter thought that on saturday i went out to party.(i didnt do anything, i was too tired)

 

[pabloDJ]

So guys, a few minutes ago her mother told me that her daughter told her sister that she is mad at me bc i dont send texts to her ever(i initiate sometimes but not all the time), that she is the one that has to send me texts to make me talk to her. She wants to see if i can change that, that she is sad bc i got mad and didnt talk to her on friday and saturday.

I dont get it, im doing what i learned here, but like someone said this works for older girls not younger girls like this one.

The girl told me that we can talk before dance classes.

Any advice?

 

[Jaylan]

You cannot take a lot of what you learn here as gospel kid. Some dudes here give faulty advice and tbh some are keyboard jockeys who don't date much. Its best to look to the high school forum when looking for age appropriate advice.

If you really like this girl, the best I can tell you is to go see her and tell you want to start fresh. And from then on just be attentive. Don't be smothering her with attention, but make sure she knows youre around and that she can count on you.

Again I say, if your concern is mainly sex then leave her alone...because theres already enough drama now that her mother is involved. Good luck kid.

 

[goldengoose]

You messed this up so learn from your experience. Aren't there hoes at your school that you can just bang? start chilling with them.

 

[CrimsonPanther]

it may come as a surprise for some, but SOMETIMES girls (or even boys) just aren't in the mood for having sex. maybe she is in her period, maybe she just ate garlic, maybe she has an infection, maybe ger grandma died who knows? leaving her the first time she doesn't wanna have sex is a new dimension of stupid.
also, different people have different sex drive. not everyone is this horny madafaka always wanting to get some.
and making a thread about a girl not wanting to have sex ONE time...

 

[pabloDJ]

well, so we talked and everything is good now.

at first she was a Little mad, when she was talking to me she was trying hard not to cry. it took a while to let me kiss her, but well all good now.

im not going to make this mistake again. thanks for the advice.

nothing to do with the thread but how can i triple quote or do multiple quotes??

 

[Die Hard]

So did you have sex with her now?