Girl playing phone games?

[Fugitive]

Met this chick and got her number. Been talking to her on WhatsApp and conversations have gone well. Seems to be a spark there and she thinks i'm "hot".

After a few days of WhatsApp, she said she wanted to talk on the phone so I said sure lets do tomorrow and suggested a time. She responded by saying "Anytime is fine just call and if I don't answer I'll call you back". I said cool I'll try you at 7pm, so that day at the time I suggested I called. She didn't answer. My intial thoughts were is she playing hard to get because why say "i'll call you back" its like she knew she wasn't going to answer?! Many hours later she messaged me to ask if I was awake and tried to call me but I was asleep so my phone was off.

The next day we messaged each other again she said sorry missed your call I said don't worry. Later that day she called but I was out and didn't hear my phone. I saw her missed call 1 hour later so messaged her to say sorry I missed her call that I was out and would call her at 9pm. She said that was fine.

You guessed it. I called her at 9pm the set time and she didn't answer again.

I get the feeling she is playing games. What's going on? And how should I deal with it?

 

[Maximus Rex]

Being that you have a sexual attraction to this broad, you want to get her naked, have calling for the Lord, as she locks her legs around your waist, why you doing things that isn't going to facilitate you gettin' that ass?

The only person playing games is you. Stop being her online chat buddy, and tell her to meet you somewhere for drinks.

 

[Fugitive]

Not sure how I'm playing games if I arranged to talk to someone at a time I wouldn't not answer.

In my experience a chat on the phone makes a girl more into you. She gets more attached and comfortable with you so the date flows better. So in the first chat I would suggest a meet up. But I'm a bit confused by her behaviour.

 

[Tictac]

A woman that is interested in you won't confuse you.

 

[dude99]

A woman that is interested in you won't confuse you.

And a woman who is interested in you makes herself available. Even if it kills her.

 

[MrWiggles]

she has a boyfriend and is only looking for attention from a "hot" guy

 

[Maximus Rex]

Not sure how I'm playing games if I arranged to talk to someone at a time I wouldn't not answer.

Because you're doing things that are leading to you see this chick naked, unless of course you're intention is to f*ck off time with this broad.

In my experience a chat on the phone makes a girl more into you. She gets more attached and comfortable with you so the date flows better. So in the first chat I would suggest a meet up. But I'm a bit confused by her behaviour.

So you're f*cking chicks doing this bullsh*t?

 

[spikeanut]

Do not apologize. Do not set a time to call. Call when you want to call, end of story. When she doesn't pick up, then so be it. If a chick is interested and wants to talk to you, they will move mountains to do so. You gave her a time frame...where is the mystery and excitement in that?

 

[Fugitive]

^ The mystery and excitement thing makes a lot of sense to me. Good advice will keep that in mind.

I personally never call unless they ask me to, and when they don't answer when I call, I never leave a voicemail, and I will NOT call again until they call me back.

I would go ghost until next THURS aft. Then I would text one word: "Hi."

If she calls you in the meantime, I'd let it go to voicemail, wait 1 hour, then text: "Sorry Hon I'm really busy now. I want you to join me for a drink at (place) this (day) at (time). Will you meet me there?" If she doesn't respond to your invite, repeat the process: ghost for one week followed by text: "Hi."

Great advice thanks!

Espi is right and Wiggles is wrong. She doesn't have a boyfriend.

 

[Fugitive]

Update: She called me I answered and we spoke for 5 minutes which went quite well, then she had to go because her dad came over. She knew he was coming so clearly didn't expect to chat long. As she left suddenly I didn't contact her for a day then dropped her a text to say what's up. She replied and said sorry she had to leave suddenly and would like to talk longer later that night. I agreed, she called I answered we spoke for about 2 hours and she laughed a lot - I ended the convo. The next day I asked her out and she said yes and asked me when I was free. I told her I had some stuff to do on the weekend but I could get out of it and next weekend would be difficult as I have a couple of parties to attend (this is all true). I finished by asking her if she could do this weekend (this was all by text). She hasn't yet replied to this and its been about half a day now but I'm kind of expecting her to say she can't do this weekend.

 

[spikeanut]

Good, glad it played out well. Couple notes: you guys aren't dating yet, no need for 2 hour long conversations. All the getting to know you convos need to be done in person. Granted this is a first, don't make a habit of it. If she gets all her emotional itches scratched by you over the phone, why would she need to seek you out in person. Additionally, never let the girl know you are changing plans for her. You are a man; you have a life; you are merely allowing her to be apart of it, when it is convenient for you. Never lose sight of that. The kiss of death for all women is when you show too much interest. And believe me...they know..they all know. Regardless of how nonchalant and disinterested you feel you are projecting, women have a sixth sense of knowing when a guy has vested interest in them. Men are the true unconditional and emotional lovers; woman are the manipulators of the mind. The moment they sense that, it is over.

 

[Fugitive]

^ should I back off a bit by ignoring her for a day? At the moment I would say I reply quicker than her and probably shown more interest.

 

[spikeanut]

Use the rule of 2/3s. For every three txts of hers, you send back at most 2. For 30 words in her txt, your response should be no more than 20. It's a rough guideline, but is a good start. Ultimately, your end state needs to be where you are not asking these types of questions, because you actually have other things in your life that are higher priority than her, even if they are other plates. But until you get to that end state, fake it til you make it.

 

[Fugitive]

^ Thanks definately going to ease off a bit with the messages.

On the positive side we have a date set this Saturday. But there's a few variables. Location and venue:

- We live 2 hours apart. There's not much inbetween us. Is it okay for me to suggest that I come to her? Or should I tell her to come to me?

- She doesn't drink. Should I suggest going for dinner or something different like bowling/golf?

 

[dude99]

Strongly disagree.

And, Why are you concerned about how attached and comfortable she feels?

Here's a totally different perspective for you to consider:

The LESS comfortable and attached they feel, the MORE intrigued and challenged they'll likely feel.

True. If you take away the mystery about yourself then women lose interest very quickly. Women want a puzzle to solve when it comes to their men. If you solve the puzzle for them then you hsve just removed challenge. Without challene you're just another ordinary average guy in their eyes.