Girl Cheating..

[Noobie]

Hey so here's the DL

I've been dealin with this girl for two weeks... always talking to each other and stuff like we're boyfriend/girlfriend. She is attracted to me, she started liking me first cuz I put up the challenge. She knows that we're eventually going to be together.

So yesterday, she went to a party, and she knows that when she gets drunk/tipsy... she get's clingy to people.

So she told me ahead of time that she's gonna drink and probably do stuff with people if she gets tipsy.. and I gave her the ok go ahead on it. She even apologized ahead of time if she does stuff with people.

Now the next day, she tells me that she got drunk and madeout/kissed someone 5 times and kissed her ex who was at the party once. Keeping in mind that I DID tell her it's ok...

Should I be tieing her down and tell her that I don't want her to be doing this kind of stuff with other people now?
The reason I was indifferent to it was because I didn't want to seem insecure and tell her not to do this kind of stuff. When I told her I was going to go clubbing, (grinding and kissing other girls) she gave me the go ahead too. But I was mature/devoted enough not to go.

Keeping in mind that we're going to be girlfriend/boyfriend (I'm gonna ask her out) in about 2 weeks (cuz this is a long distance relationship.. and that's when I get to see her) should I have told her no?

It's a simple matter of would saying no be insecure? and did I make a mistake by not being insecure about it?

 

[Alle_Gory]

She's not your girlfriend or your wife so its not cheating.

wtf man.

 

[Kal0051]

Hate to tell you buddy, but she didn't cheat. You two aren't in a exclusive relationship, so unless it was agreed upon before hand that you wouldn't do anything with anyone else she has nothing to be sorry for (and you have no right to tell her she can't do something).

 

[MisterMcGee]

lmao you're just dating. dont think abut what she does with other guys if it obothers you, but realize she's still on the market just like you are.

 

[Noobie]

It's similar to being engaged, she knows we're going to be together

I could've asked her out already but I just didn't wanna do it cuz it'd be on the phone which is stupid, so I'm waiting for the next time I see her in real life. We essentially skipped the asking out part and act like bf/gf.

I personally didn't go clubbing for her cuz it'd feel empty dancing with other girls but her.

Now I'm feeling I should do some **** back like upload those sticker pictures I took with my other female friend she doesn't know about that I took a couple days ago.

[Oh btw, I named the title of the thread poorly, cheating wasn't the right word... but I know she does have a sort of committment to me, once again, similar to being engaged]

 

[MisterMcGee]

"It's similar to being engaged, she knows we're going to be together"
It's been 2 weeks. You've been 'dealing' with her. You're not even dating her.
It other words, I personally think you're dealing with this little mutual crush situation like a huge chump.

And don't say a girl that likes you has the same responsibilities with you as someone you're engaged you.
You need to set down the rules (in this sorry arse case, meaning "ask her out" you big beta) if you feel this way about her and want to make things exclusive.

 

[Kal0051]

ok, I'm just gonna tell you this, if you do any immature **** to get back at her then you might as well kiss any chance you had to date her goodbye. And her thinking you two will date in the future is nothing like an engagement, god you've only been "dating" this girl for 2 weeks. Do yourself a favor and slap yourself, stop being jealous and just tell her you want an exclusive relationship (though depending on how old you are this might scare her away this early).

 

[Ganondorf]

Why would you want to be date a girl like that?

I'm sorry, but i could never date a girl i felt like i couldn't trust, especially a party girl who drinks and hooks up with other people on a consistent basis

do yourself a favor. Get real. Not only have you been "seeing" her for only two weeks (Key word is seeing. you are not dating, nor are you her bf, so you have no reason to be jealous or expect her to Be exclusive), but she doesn't even seem quality. This girl doesn't even sound like she wants a relationship, she just wants fun.

so i would take that from her and keep my options open for better girls if you want a girlfriend

Get a girl that's girlfriend material

 

[MisterMcGee]

Lol ganondorf, he has yet to ask this girl out and he expects her to stay loyal.

 

[Kal0051]

well, I pretty sure this won't end well. but whatever

 

[Ganondorf]

Lol ganondorf, he has yet to ask this girl out and he expects her to stay loyal.

Lol that's part of the Problem

He has no reason to be Jealous of someone he's only seeing. She never cheated, she's only exercising her freedom

OP, you say you acted ok with it, but really you were not. But in reality you had no choice but to be. She is not your gf, and you do cannot control her actions

There's nothing wrong who she chooses to live, but i don't see why anyone would want to turn a hoe into a girlfriend. If she wants fun, then that's all you'll get from her.

she sounds like she enjoys partying and kissing random people. She might be hot, but is she really relationship material?

not the type for a relationship in my opinion

 

[Igetit!]

Hey so here's the DL

I've been dealin with this girl for two weeks... always talking to each other and stuff like we're boyfriend/girlfriend. She is attracted to me, she started liking me first cuz I put up the challenge. She knows that we're eventually going to be together.

So according to you,she knows that eventually,you two are going to be together. I'm curious to know why you say this. The title of this thread is "Girl Cheating...". The majority of women cheat usually because they're unhappy in their current relationships. There's something emotionally missing with their boyfriend/husband,so they go outside the relationship to get that need met. There's not enough info here to determine what that is with your situation,but obviously she's not content with what you and you alone are giving her,otherwise there'd be no reasion for her to cheat.

So yesterday, she went to a party, and she knows that when she gets drunk/tipsy... she get's clingy to people.

Oh,so she knows that when she gets drunk,she gets clingy. Let me guess:"clingy" is a synonym for cheating. You know,hugging,kissing,groping/being groped,etc. In other words,touching or being touched for sexual pleasure. And she knows this is what happens when she drinks. Hmmm. So if she were to get pregnant with another man's baby,or catch some std and then gave it to you,you'd have no problem with either of these situations,afterall,she was "tipsy" when they happened,right? Oh please.

So she told me ahead of time that she's gonna drink and probably do stuff with people if she gets tipsy.. and I gave her the ok go ahead on it. She even apologized ahead of time if she does stuff with people.

FINALLY! Dude,you have no idea how long I've been waiting for something like this to show up. I've been putting together a "Top Ten" list of the DUMBEST comments I've ever heard on this forum,and this apologizing "ahead of time" is the newest addition to my list. Her telling you "ahead of time" that she's going to drink and "probably" do stuff with people is like someone saying ahead of time that they're going to drink/get tipsy,then get into a car and drive and apologizing ahead of time for killing someone. Stupidity in it's absolute most purest form.
How ridiculous and asinine.

Now the next day, she tells me that she got drunk and madeout/kissed someone 5 times and kissed her ex who was at the party once. Keeping in mind that I DID tell her it's ok...

I honestly don't know which is worse:her behavior,or you giving her the go ahead to do it. I'd bet you anything that you feel direspected in this "relationship. I know you do. You know how I know? Because no man with any kind of a backbone would put up with this nonsense from her. And all she's doing is what you permit her to do.

Should I be tieing her down and tell her that I don't want her to be doing this kind of stuff with other people now?

What??? Uh...what do you mean by "tieing her down"? I'm not following you here. If you mean for her to be faithful to you as you're being to her,then yeah man,tie 'er down. You requiring from her the same respect you give isn't being tied down.

The reason I was indifferent to it was because I didn't want to seem insecure and tell her not to do this kind of stuff.

So the reason you were indifferent was because you didn't want to seem insecure. Well,your plan backfired. You may not realize this,but you letting her run hog wild,doing any and eveything she wants,and you not having anything negative to say about it makes you seem insecure as well. You're out of balance. You went too far the other way. Tieing her down to where she can't do or go anywhere will make you insecure,but letting her do whatever she wants,even things that hurt or direspect you with you not saying anything also makes you seem insecure. Wow,dude. It's one thing when a girl cheats behind your back,then tells you after the fact,but this girl has so little regard for your feelings and so little respect for you,then she just comes straight out to your face and tells you BEFORE she even does it. She just throws in the "drinking" in order to rationalize her behavior,to not have to take accountability for herself. "It wasn't my fault,I was drunk".

When I told her I was going to go clubbing, (grinding and kissing other girls) she gave me the go ahead too. But I was mature/devoted enough not to go.

Yeah,I think one of the other posters already covered this. You want a mature relationship,while she just wants to have fun....with different guys. Although I do get the feeling that if you were to stand up and be a real,self-respecting man,who refuses to take crappy behavior from her,I think she'd straighten up,be faithful to you,and cut out all this foolishness. By the way,how old is this girl?

It's a simple matter of would saying no be insecure? and did I make a mistake by not being insecure about it?

I think you have a confusion between refusing trashy behavior and being insecure.

 

[MisterMcGee]

@ ganondorf:
"she sounds like she enjoys partying and kissing random people. She might be hot, but is she really relationship material? "

Lmao are you kidding? Are you looking for a pristine virgin wife when going out with girls? I'd hate to spend time with a girl so prudish to not have some safe fun on her nights out.
"kissing random people"
uh oh, someone dial 911, a girl is kissing people at a party!

And she's supposed to stop doing this for a guy who hasn't even asked her out yet? She's more of a DJ than he is, for murphy's sake.

 

[Noobie]

Ok well, Igetit! seems to be giving the most useful advice so far,

I actually met her in the beginning of the year..
we're first year uni students
I visited her uni a few months back and met her, she saw how I was so calm and collected all the time and it was good.
She visited around 2 weeks ago and realized that she liked me, and she went back to her uni.

We kept in touch ever since, talking everyday, texting, phone etc. I kept my communication limited in the beginning and it increased over the 2 weeks.

In addition... my roommate and her roommate are bf/gf! And her roommate told my roommate that she's waiting for me to ask her out and that she'd say yes. (Not that I didn't know that before anyways)

So yeah, she told me to go over there and party with her so she would get clingy to the right person but obviously I said no cuz I can't go visit another uni on demand.

Anyways, her "not satisfied with the relationship" is from me not physically being there. Long-distance.

....and yeah basically to answer Igetit!'s question, I meant tying down as in.... whether I should've told her not to drink at all so she wouldn't makeout randomly and get clingy(she would've done as I said).

Lastly, I don't feel I should be mad at her for doing it cuz she DID tell me ahead of time and I did let her... but when I think of it... when we do get into a relationship, that guy has bragging rights that he madeout with her

[Also, I didn't ask her out yet because I'm waiting for the next chance I see her physically... if I saw her earlier I would've asked already] (Reading Week&Valentines Day)

 

[Jaggs]

Ahh man.

So many things wrong with this.

First off its a LDR.
She is going to physically cheat with other people all the time. This thread shows massive insecurity (You basically agreed that it was okay she can hook up with other people, after all...when she's drunk she gets clingy right?!) She has you on a leash ALREADY, and you aren't even together. Fvck man. Take a logical look at the situation.

You need to forget about the whole thing and work on yourself as a person. Forget this hoe, maybe when you come back a new man you can come back and fvck the shyt out of her for shyts and giggles or something..

But come on man...
this shyt aint right.

Ps. You do not want a long distance relationship

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I basicly just read a little bit of what you wrote. If she tells you she is probably gonna get drunk and fvck some dude. Why the hell would you even consider her a girlfriend. She sounds like a complete wh@re and wants to fvck any dude.

Dont even consider her a girlfriend. Only consider her some girl to fvck once in awhile.