Girl brings a list of wrongs

[00Kevin]

The other day I took a girl of mine out and we sat in my car for a while and just relaxed. It was then that she pulled out a small sheet of paper and on it was a list of things that she didn't like about my personality.

I guess there where things that were bothering her too much and she had to tell me about them.

I tried to explain to her that we have different personalities and that these are not things that will ever change.

She didn't understand that and during that night she cried and cried. I guess she thought that she could help me or something.

Anyone else ever find a girl that is really great physically, but lacks much in terms of a personality match with you?

Now I am avoiding this girl because I don't think she can handle even just being friends. She wants to have fun and fool around all the time, but I know that I couldn't be with her long term.

Now that I can get girls. I'm in the postion of having to hurt them.
It kind of sucks.

 

[Babnik]

If you have different personalities, then how did you make the connection that made you a couple to begin with?

Sorry for being off topic. But if you don't click then just leave her and find another one.

Girls hurt guys, and guys hurt girls. Stop feeling sorry for them. Use them for fun and then let go.

 

[So pimp its scary]

Ya... for real dude, you OWN this girl. I'd say use it up while you can. What you do is just act in a completely non-commital way, this girl will do whatever it takes to make that happen, all the while she stays oblivious that all you're really doing is using her for sex.

If you feel bad about it, it can be justified by all the woman that have burned you in the past...

 

[I-am-someone]

Wow Kevin, sucks doesn't it?

I know, hurting women is never fun.

However, in this specific instance, I don't think you had much to do with it. She wrote down the list. She was frustrated about it. It's her problem.

Men and women simply don't match. We think differently, we act differently, we just ARE different. It's the simple truth, but for some reason both men and women always expect more of it.
Every time, we go into a relationship thinking that there's a match, and then after a while discover that we're different.


I've had girls tell me I was: insensitive, inconsiderate, unsupportive, an a$$hole, unfaithful, self-absorbed, obsessive, leaching, etc.
Sometimes, they were right. Most of the time, they were showing those traits themselves, and instead of looking at herself, they started to point a finger at me.

So what I've done is this: Point the finger right back at her.
"I'm being unsupportive? You're expecting me to be supportive, while you're actually the one being unsupportive!"

This has worked several times. It usually made things a little clearer, but a lot of women tend to bring up those very same points over, and over, and over.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Anyone else ever find a girl that is really great physically, but lacks much in terms of a personality match with you? ...

I swear I can't fathom why you guys put energy into women like this. Do you not qualify them? Are you basing your hook up with them by just their looks? Do you do this just because a woman, any woman, shows interest in you?

This woman, who obviously has some issue with coping writes a laundry list of your faults and presents it to you. Do you guys see the red flag? Then you try to justify your personality, WTF! Now you are avoiding her to spare her feelings... Where are the DJ characteristics in any of this?

 

[spider_007]

Ha ha ha, what a dork.

What didn't she like about you????

 

[Aaron B]

How are you hurting her?

She is responsible for her choices. If she makes poor choices that cause her pain, how is that your responsibility?

If a woman broke out a list like that on me, I would tell her "Well obviously there is no reason for you to spend time with me" and I would be outta there. I might make fun of her physically as well.

 

[Aaron B]

I swear I can't fathom why you guys put energy into women like this. Do you not qualify them? Are you basing your hook up with them by just their looks? Do you do this just because a woman, any woman, shows interest in you?

Bingo.

I've gotten to the point where I'm almost prejudiced against hot girls. I want to know if they have anything to offer other than looks, and in my experience, the hotter the girl, the less she has to offer.

A really cute blonde was at the gym today. The manager of the gym and I are friends, and he knows all these girls that come in. Before she made it to the door he was talking about how cute she was. I didn't say anything.

Then while she was there he says to me "She's really hot, huh?" I just shrugged then said "Not my type." Later on I threw in a "She reminds me of my little sister."

So I ignored her the whole time I was working out. She kept trying to make eye contact but I avoided it. Then right before I left she tried to start a conversation with me. I'm married so I got the hell out of there. Plus even though she was hot, she really didn't do much for me. I could **** her, but I doubt it would be a worthwhile experience.

Had I leghumped her like every other guy does, I'm sure she wouldn't have wanted anything to do with me.

 

[PRMoon]

This woman, who obviously has some issue with coping writes a laundry list of your faults and presents it to you. Do you guys see the red flag? Then you try to justify your personality, WTF! Now you are avoiding her to spare her feelings... Where are the DJ characteristics in any of this?

Seriously. Everyone has flaws and things that they won't like about their mate. If your mate likes youenough then they'll find your flaws tolorable or even cute because they're so enfatuated. You shouldn't be living up to her standards. She should like and amire you for who you are and the standards you live by. A f*cking list?! There's no f*cking way! I've talked about things that bugged some of my past g/f's but it was never about who I am or my personality traits. If it were I'd probobly bit the bullet and tell her things weren't going to work out. Despite my feelings and emotions, I am not going to subject myself to a relationship that has no future.

 

[I-am-someone]

Okay...
Just one thing I absolutely, completely, horribly disagree upon is that hot women have little extra to offer.

I know one example of a woman who is a 9,9. Very cute and pretty face, great body. She also has a great personality, is very smart, has rich parents, is NOT uptight, is kind to everybody, caring, everything....
This woman is completely out of my league - at least for now. She respects me and likes me, comes up to me every now and then - but is unfortunatly still out of my league.

The point I'm making with this example, is that if I were to have made the assumption that every hot woman out there had nothing to offer, then I would have never even talked to her, and I would have continued to believe that hot women have nothing to offer.
Don't fool yourself like that, good looks do not equal a crappy personality, and crappy looks most definitely do not equal a good personality.

 

[Aaron B]

Okay...
Just one thing I absolutely, completely, horribly disagree upon is that hot women have little extra to offer.

I know one example of a woman who is a 9,9. Very cute and pretty face, great body. She also has a great personality, is very smart, has rich parents, is NOT uptight, is kind to everybody, caring, everything....
This woman is completely out of my league - at least for now. She respects me and likes me, comes up to me every now and then - but is unfortunatly still out of my league..

There are exceptions to EVERYTHING. I was speaking in general terms.

The fact is most attractive women are able to skate through life on their looks and have no reason to develop themselves into well-rounded individuals.

She will be out of your league until you believe otherwise. If you don't believe something is possible, it isn't. What we think is what we become.

I believe there is no woman out of my league, because I am a man and a man is greater than a woman. Sounds sexist, but its fact so I don't feel guilty saying it. Men are superior to women in nearly every way. Well, real men anyways. Real men are getting to be very rare.

As far as a hot woman having a good personality and you missing out: I take the approach that she has a ****ty personality UNTIL she proves otherwise. She's gotta earn my respect. I'm 31 and looks just do not impress me anymore.

 

[Bible_Belt]

A f*cking list?! There's no f*cking way!

I had the same reaction.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bingo.

I've gotten to the point where I'm almost prejudiced against hot girls. I want to know if they have anything to offer other than looks, and in my experience, the hotter the girl, the less she has to offer....

I hear what you're saying. I believe I'm a bit harder on extremely HBs when I'm qualifying them. The have to show me things way beyond looks to hold my attention. The ones who have the most success are the ones who don't know that they're hot, or at least shrug off all the superficial compliments that they usually get from guys.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Seriously. Everyone has flaws and things that they won't like about their mate. If your mate likes youenough then they'll find your flaws tolorable or even cute because they're so enfatuated. You shouldn't be living up to her standards. She should like and amire you for who you are and the standards you live by. A f*cking list?! There's no f*cking way! I've talked about things that bugged some of my past g/f's but it was never about who I am or my personality traits. If it were I'd probobly bit the bullet and tell her things weren't going to work out. Despite my feelings and emotions, I am not going to subject myself to a relationship that has no future.

You know what I'm picturing when I think about this? The gameshow Family Feud.

Host: Welcome to the Family Feud. We surveyed 100 women and the top five answers are on the board. The question... "Name something that you don't like about 00Kevin's personality."

Female Player #1: (Rings buzzer) HIS EYEBROWS AREN'T TRIMMED!!!

Host: HIS EYEBROWS AREN'T TRIMMED! Our survey says.....

BUZZZZZZZZ............

Host: Sorry, it didn't make the top five. Although his eyebrows are reminiscent of Bert from Sesame Street, it's not really considered his personality....

Host: (Moving on to next player) The question... "Name something that you don't like about 00Kevin's personality."

Female Player #2: HE THINKS HE'S HOT SH1T!!!

Host: HE THINKS HE'S HOT SH1T!!! Our survey says......

DING!!!!!!!!!!

Host: IT'S THE NUMBER ONE ANSWER!!!!!


​

You get my drift.....

 

[Jariel]

I swear I can't fathom why you guys put energy into women like this. Do you not qualify them? Are you basing your hook up with them by just their looks? Do you do this just because a woman, any woman, shows interest in you?

This woman, who obviously has some issue with coping writes a laundry list of your faults and presents it to you. Do you guys see the red flag? Then you try to justify your personality, WTF! Now you are avoiding her to spare her feelings... Where are the DJ characteristics in any of this?

I was thinking the same thing.

I learned some hard lessons in the past from picking up random girls based on looks, so I started getting to know them and qualifying them first. It worked out so much better for me.

 

[00Kevin]

I swear I can't fathom why you guys put energy into women like this. Do you not qualify them? Are you basing your hook up with them by just their looks? Do you do this just because a woman, any woman, shows interest in you?

This woman, who obviously has some issue with coping writes a laundry list of your faults and presents it to you. Do you guys see the red flag? Then you try to justify your personality, WTF! Now you are avoiding her to spare her feelings... Where are the DJ characteristics in any of this?

First of all I have always told her that we are not a match in that way. You see I know for a fact that she can't handle me. She would not be able to deal with me when I get pissed off. So in that sense I know it would never work long term. These are what my gut instincts are telling me. I'm not going to fall in love with this girl and get screwed later on. sorry but that isn't going to happen.

Yes i do qualify women. Trust me she would not have even got past the first few dates with me if she didn't at least qualify. What you have to understand is that you can't simply qualify a woman in an instance. You have to try her out. It is a process that is very mature and is only used when you are looking for something long term. Sadly, with this girl, I tried her out and she loved me. Then when she discovered my personality (which was a test of mine) she freak out and wrote that crazy lists.

It was funny because when i was listening to it.. I said.. you know that list isn't for me. It is for you. You are trying to realize the truth.

anyway, I guess she thought I was serious. oh well..

"I'm finished with my woman because she couldn't help me with my mind"

 

[Cancerian]

"I'm finished with my woman because she couldn't help me with my mind"

Black Sabbath, Paranoid. Nice.

I would not put up with a sh1tty list, thats for sure. She wants to change who you are. If she doesn't like who you are, then NEXT her. At least tell her "I find making a list of another's supposed personality flaws, to be a personality flaw."

 

[ValleyDJing]

It was then that she pulled out a small sheet of paper and on it was a list of things that she didn't like about my personality.

You're worried about her feelings when she had the audacity to do this? "Ahem! 100 reasons why you suck." Ummm, excuse me *****? Get the **** outta here!

 

[Last Man Standing]

Actually, when a woman makes a list of imperfections then this tells you that she really digs you and thinks you would be perfect if you just worked on these certain areas...she sees you as a mate with marriage potential!!!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Actually, when a woman makes a list of imperfections then this tells you that she really digs you and thinks you would be perfect if you just worked on these certain areas...she sees you as a mate with marriage potential!!!

Dude, that's scary! :nervous: