girl at camp

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I actually succeeded in making friends at camp while I was gone for 2 weeks, just got back and yesterday I got contacts from 12 people.. including one girl who I have grown to really like.

Shes an 8-8.5, only 1 year older than me, and she only lives 2 hours away.

The bad parts:
She has a bf.
She has me in the friend zone.

I think I was being too nice to her, but there's plenty of time for us to change and for me to reapproach much later. She's basically the perfect type of girl I'm looking for, we flirted alot but one night when we were watching a movie, I was almost on top of her and she fell asleep lmao and she was so freaked out when she woke up, but it didn't change much because she knew it was an accident. But... she felt uncomfortable and stayed away from me for awhile (she didn't really flirt back for a long time).
Sometimes I think we felt like more than friends (also she knew that I liked her), so I'm probably not doing as much incorrectly as I think I am.. It's probably just her bf that blocks my success.

The best part here is that I have absolutely no problem with approaching her, it's like a complete supply of self confidence in my hands, except now that I have her cell number and don't know what to do because I've never called a girl on the phone before (haha?).
I have so many memories and we did alot together... I also wrote her a goodbye letter/poem and I was lucky I did because after I gave it to her, I went back to the boys cabins and she actually left because she wanted to go really badly, so I didn't get to say goodbye properly.

Another good part is that my dad knows about what town she lives in because my grandfather used to sell soap there... (lol random)... so we could probably hang out if I asked her.

Overall I think I did almost my very best, but it started to fade away fast during the second week, where she made alot more friends and sort of forgot about me.
She gave me her full name, AIM, and cell # on the last day (I also gave her mine, but she probably won't bother with it because shes a girl).

Now my only question is:

what next?

 

[GaryUranga]

start generating some attraction

 

[ElStud]

No kino I assume? Well yeah that could be why you're in the friend zone. And who cares if she has a BF, with enough attraction she could ditch her BF for you.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

one night when we were watching a movie, I was almost on top of her and she fell asleep lmao and she was so freaked out when she woke up

Thats when I actually stopped kinoing her for a few days, but before that during the movie I was playing with her where she would put her head down on the side of my leg and I would lean into her, and when she pulled her head up I would unlean myself from her (lol).
She also bit my fingers twice when I tried to steal her pillow, and I was playing with her hair for awhile.

So there was attraction but not enough... and how do I go by attracting someone through long distance?

I have her # and AIM, and it is possible to ask her to hang out but we probably wouldn't until the weekend.
I think I need to be more sexual than nice, but it's pretty hard because lots of sexual flirting I might try would not work and she'd be like "whatever".

I think shes attracted to me as a friend, but theres always hope left because I did do a very good job for my first girl.. I made her a necklace a week ago and wrote her a goodbye poem which she probably kept, unlike my first oneitis who was a total fvcking midget b!tch wh0re.

Anyway I'm looking for help to improve my instinctive skills, what to say/not to say, different flirting techniques, and how to attract someone I guess through conversation.

Overall, how to become more than a friend and successfully attract a girl.

 

[GaryUranga]

deattachment and be sexual, attracting someone long distance is REALLY easy IMO, start talkign to her on aim and such, be ****y and funny, that gets her attention then just get her hooked wanting to talk to you, when that happens you can just limit the amount you talk to her and there youve got her then you can translate that into dates or whatever, thats how Ive done it with a HIGH success rate, it so much easier to game online and such IMO, some people might disagree but its a great tool.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I'm really excited because this girl is exactly who I'm looking for, shes nice, sexual, outgoing, fun, and not a slut.
I think I have to be really perfect on this though so my confidence is turning into nervousness.

I think calling her would be better because it's more like real life, but I rarely talk on the phone and I've never talked to a girl on the phone before.
If I try AIM I think I'll mess up, but it is a good oppertunity to use tons of expression to make me seem like a fun guy
Shes one of those girls who doesn't go online that much though.

I also suspect she has alot of friends and right now gives them more attention than me. The focus needs to be on ME.

When I figure out what I really have to do, I'll be ready.
If I do it confidently and successfully, I'll score a PERFECT girl for myself.

It's about being the best I can to catch her liking.
I still don't know how to get her to want to talk to me though.

 

[miniPIMPIN]

I think I was being too nice to her, but there's plenty of time for us to change and for me to reapproach much later. She's basically the perfect type of girl I'm looking for, we flirted alot but one night when we were watching a movie, I was almost on top of her and she fell asleep lmao and she was so freaked out when she woke up, but it didn't change much because she knew it was an accident. But... she felt uncomfortable and stayed away from me for awhile (she didn't really flirt back for a long time).
Sometimes I think we felt like more than friends (also she knew that I liked her), so I'm probably not doing as much incorrectly as I think I am.. It's probably just her bf that blocks my success.

dont waste ur time with her if she has a bf...

The best part here is that I have absolutely no problem with approaching her, it's like a complete supply of self confidence in my hands, except now that I have her cell number and don't know what to do because I've never called a girl on the phone before (haha?).

DUDE are u kidding me? i remember when i first joined this site i saw a post about how u wanted to better urself with the ladies... and now 4 months and 250 posts later u still havent even managed to pull a number?? i know im sounding like an ******* but my advise to u is to read both DJ bibles (if u havent already) and dont come back to this site until u have made some progress or u need a valid question answered....

I have so many memories and we did alot together... I also wrote her a goodbye letter/poem and I was lucky I did because after I gave it to her, I went back to the boys cabins and she actually left because she wanted to go really badly, so I didn't get to say goodbye properly.

...... a goodbye letter/poem???? thats the most niceguy sh1t ive ever heard of dude!!

 

[nicenomore]

I'm really excited because this girl is exactly who I'm looking for, shes nice, sexual, outgoing, fun, and not a slut.
I think I have to be really perfect on this though so my confidence is turning into nervousness.

I think calling her would be better because it's more like real life, but I rarely talk on the phone and I've never talked to a girl on the phone before.
If I try AIM I think I'll mess up, but it is a good oppertunity to use tons of expression to make me seem like a fun guy
Shes one of those girls who doesn't go online that much though.

I also suspect she has alot of friends and right now gives them more attention than me. The focus needs to be on ME.

When I figure out what I really have to do, I'll be ready.
If I do it confidently and successfully, I'll score a PERFECT girl for myself.

It's about being the best I can to catch her liking.
I still don't know how to get her to want to talk to me though.

calling all docs in the house.....

dude's got a bad case of one-its.....


Remember GWA....

you'll find a million girls who'll be exactly who you're looking for... they'll be nice, sexual, outgoing, fun, and not a slut.....

Remove her from her pedestal ... SHE'S NOT SO SPECIAL..... talk to other girls..... you'll find many more like her....

I remember a quote from Style : " Beauty is a test... it weeds out those dumbstuck by it"..

Applies to your case totally....

 

[miniPIMPIN]

No kino I assume? Well yeah that could be why you're in the friend zone. And who cares if she has a BF, with enough attraction she could ditch her BF for you.

dont listen to this GWA.... she knows ur a niceguy now and keeps u wrapped around for entertainment when she is bored... dont call her.. cut her off.. if she calls u and asks why u havent been on her jock say "cause u have a boyfriend and therefor this relationship isnt going anywhere... is that all u wanted?"

it will surprise the hell out of her.. if u realy want out of the friend zone which isnt even worth trying to get out of.. start lettin her show U that she is worthy of U! show her ur new DJ ways

 

[nicenomore]

i disagee... minipimpin
el's statement is true... just as yours....

there's nothing different

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Ok I obviously have a problem...

1. How do I stop being so much of a nice guy?
(but don't girls like getting poems and stuff?)
2. How do I get the focus from me to her to her to me?

I guess I'm looking for a way to get her attracted to me.

If you guys seriously won't help me, I'll call her myself in a few days, talk briefly and ask her if she wants to hang out sometime... and I'll probably end up with LJBF because I still don't understand the difference from a friend and more than a friend.

Can't a friend become more than a friend through experiences and spending time together with someone, even if you are a nice guy?

 

[miniPIMPIN]

naw cause im telling the guy to just forget the whole thing but el is telling him "yaya go ahead and waste your time tryina get out of the friend zone so she can reject u and snap ur heart in half" i told him how but advised him not too..

and grand, read my post... i said read the bible and stop posting questions and get out in the field and do somthing. like that poem bullcrap was a big NONO! matter of fact hers a link to a article in the DJ bible.. ITS PERFECT FOR U!! u can thank me later ^^

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16577

o and this ones good too!

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=16445

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I don't have a problem not being able to be a jerk.. I just have a problem being too nice instead of being a jerk.
I have to get the focus on me but like.. won't she dislike me if I start negging alot and making fun of her?

 

[miniPIMPIN]

theres an equilibrium that u gotta find. if u neg her she wont be mad and dislike u... and if she does.. who gives a fvck? being a jerk isnt all about negging theres an equilibrium that u gotta find. but like i said theres plenty of oter girls out there.. just move on she hasa bf.. i feell like your just not comprehending what im tellin u... i mean i reccomended taking a break from the site unless u wanna read the bible more yet ur still here...

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I'm still here because I don't know what to do... you're telling me to be a jerk when I'm usually the opposite.
I don't know if I should mix the two, I don't know how to be a jerk without looking like a total loser... I'm basically looking for one clear path to follow that'll block my "nice guy" failures, but I really don't want to become mean.

Also if you tell me to forget about this girl even if I don't care that much about her right now, it's like throwing away a whole person who I could practice with and actually feel how it should be when I'm doing the right thing here.

 

[miniPIMPIN]

wuts ur aim dood?

 

[nicenomore]

Ok I obviously have a problem...

1. How do I stop being so much of a nice guy?
(but don't girls like getting poems and stuff?)

stop it.. dont call her , or keep contact ... stop supplicating to the,m.. most importantly.. be willing to ditch them..... the last ones most important... be totally detached to the outcome.. stop trying to impress her....

2. How do I get the focus from me to her to her to me?

be interesting.. if you're like every other guy she's met... why shall she be interested in you???

I still don't understand the difference from a friend and more than a friend.

A friend is someone who helps you , who stays with you in time of need... More than a friend , is some one special , who makes a girl feel special..

in guy talk.. its the difference between a friend and a best friend...

Can't a friend become more than a friend through experiences and spending time together with someone, even if you are a nice guy?

If you're a nice (read nice , boring , predictable guy , worthy of becomnig her slave) .. why shall she spend time with you????

I have to get the focus on me but like.. won't she dislike me if I start negging alot and making fun of her?

Negging isn't good for all girls.. only girls with high self esteem.. others will take it in a negative sense... depends all on the ego of the chick.. likewise for C+F ...only a particular kind of girl will respond favorably to it.. rest wont..

I don't know if I should mix the two, I don't know how to be a jerk without looking like a total loser... I'm basically looking for one clear path to follow that'll block my "nice guy" failures, but I really don't want to become mean.

Whats a jerk.. he's a guy with total loss of insecurity.. thats what you should aim to be... have no insecurity about yourself... you're not mean by that way...

Also if you tell me to forget about this girl even if I don't care that much about her right now, it's like throwing away a whole person who I could practice with and actually feel how it should be when I'm doing the right thing here.

Forget .. as in forget about attracting her... you can "practice "( personally i hate the term.. too objective) as long as you want

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Okay lol.. I'll be trying to impress myself from now on then.
If I was obsessed with her I'd have called her already, but I'll just wait and randomly call sometime, to say hi, not to impress her.

I'm definitely not boring and predictable, but I am being too nice, so I'll throw in some jerk here and there, not to be mean though.
She should be naturally interested after I talk to her next time, and if she isn't I'll forget about it. If she is interested, I'll make myself unavailable, so she has to get time from me.

I don't know where I stand, but I don't really care either anymore.

AIM: Sheltem Alamar