Gio Casa I need you to tell me I told you so... Why Me?

[DreamyChick]

Gio you know how you said that I only go after guys that I don't have a chance with? Well sometimes they come to me.

I was having dinner tonight alone when I got approached by this guy from school. He said something along the lines of hi...I know you don't know me but I recognized you from insert the name of my dorm here. I know one of your RAs and I remember you checking in last week. May I join you? So I told him sure after I had sallowed my food and he laughed bc he had caught me with my mouth full and apologized. So anyway we just started talking and it was really light hearted and fun. I made him laugh a few times. We had no trouble finding things to talk about. He told me he played guitar and I love music so we started talking about different bands(More things in common) just as I was about to give him my number and suggest hanging out sometime, another RA plopped down at our table. She scoped out the situation and said to him, "Hey Date" and started giving him a hard time and then left.

So this intrigued me so I asked what that was about. So he gave me the story. He had been dating the previous RA he mentioned during our introductions and how this RA gives him a hard time now bc they are not bf and gf yet. I asked him if the committment scared him and he said no but that they wanted to take things slow. So we continued conversating a little while longer and I told him that I had to go but ended up sticking around and when I left he grabbed my tray for me. Now I have to ask Why me????? and What are the rules when someone is dating? I didnt give the number bc I thought that would be inappropriate.

I just want to know for future reference.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

Why not you? He probably found you attractive and/or interesting? It would not be inappropriate to give him your nr because if he is just dating her and it's not serious or a commitment he is most likely free to date you. Just make sure that if you do end getting together with him for a date that you take it abit slow... This is my opinion on it though.

 

[DreamyChick]

Originally posted by Kineti[C]harm
Why not you? He probably found you attractive and/or interesting? It would not be inappropriate to give him your nr because if he is just dating her and it's not serious or a commitment he is most likely free to date you. Just make sure that if you do end getting together with him for a date that you take it abit slow... This is my opinion on it though.

Perhaps thanks! I guess I could also look at this as practice for treating a guy like a normal human being and not getting so intimidated.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Do you want me to tell you what I really think?

 

[joey37]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Do you want me to tell you what I really think?

CONVERSATING IS NOT A WORD!!!!!!!!

 

[IntermediateDonJuaner]

You only need to listen to smart people

Originally posted by DreamyChick
Gio you know how you said that I only go after guys that I don't have a chance with? Well sometimes they come to me.

I was having dinner tonight alone when I got approached by this guy from school. He said something along the lines of hi...I know you don't know me but I recognized you from insert the name of my dorm here. I know one of your RAs and I remember you checking in last week. May I join you? So I told him sure after I had sallowed my food and he laughed bc he had caught me with my mouth full and apologized. So anyway we just started talking and it was really light hearted and fun. I made him laugh a few times. We had no trouble finding things to talk about. He told me he played guitar and I love music so we started talking about different bands(More things in common) just as I was about to give him my number and suggest hanging out sometime, another RA plopped down at our table. She scoped out the situation and said to him, "Hey Date" and started giving him a hard time and then left.

So this intrigued me so I asked what that was about. So he gave me the story. He had been dating the previous RA he mentioned during our introductions and how this RA gives him a hard time now bc they are not bf and gf yet. I asked him if the committment scared him and he said no but that they wanted to take things slow. So we continued conversating a little while longer and I told him that I had to go but ended up sticking around and when I left he grabbed my tray for me. Now I have to ask Why me????? and What are the rules when someone is dating? I didnt give the number bc I thought that would be inappropriate.

I just want to know for future reference.

Well, why do you listen to him then? You could find a lot of useful advice in this forum and the people here have better opinion. You have to remember. What a person like him thinks is not important cause he is a person who has no idea how to understand anyone else but him. What a narcisstic person! Anyone who has brains know that what dreamchick says is true. There are times when AFC guys go to girls like dreamchick instead of her going after. them.

 

[DreamyChick]

Originally posted by Giovanni Casanova
Do you want me to tell you what I really think?

Sure.

 

[Big Pappy]

I think that you probably should wait until he asks you for your number. Why make it easy on the boy?

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Okay, here goes. A guy is pursuing you to some degree. Your first instinct is to ask me what makes me think that he might have been pursuing you, even though you've already spelled it out in your initial post. He is dating another girl, which may or may not make him unavailable to you.

If it turns out that he is available to you, you will talk to him a couple more times and maybe even go out with him if both of you can get your act together. At this point, you will find something about him that you don't like, particularly if he happens to be interested in you. You will spend days trying to figure out whether or not his perceived faults are bad enough to stop seeing him. After several days have passed, if he's still interested in you, you will ultimately decide that you are not interested in him. Alternatively, if a few days pass and he is no longer interested in you, you will decide that he was the love of your life and wonder why you constantly sabotage your relationships.

If it turns out that he is more serious about this other girl than you think, or he is in some other way unwilling to date you, you will wonder, as you have already begun to do, why you constantly draw and are drawn to unavailable guys.

The answer to that question is that you are subconsciously afraid of any kind of commitment. It's possible, in fact, that you're afraid of and therefore avoid relationships in general.

 

[DankNuggs]

Giovanni, your post is very good, it actually makes me think that I have some commitment issues because I generally do the same thing. After the chase I get bored, the girl seems dull, and I look at her flaws and avoid the situation....Though usually these girls are randoms I meet out at bars, so I justify myself saying I can do better....

In my mind though, my goal is to find someone I can have a deep relationship with....As much fun as it is to bang random chicks, you realize that relationships bring more than just sex to the table, and you value those intangibles more....