GF tests me: too jealous or not enough?

[skinnydart]

My girlfriend of 1 month sends me a txt...

so if someone asks for my number, should I just tell them yours without saying anything? Just checking.

12 hours later (when I finally saw it), I give her a call...

ME: [fluff talk...] I got your text, so what happened last night? (I knew there must be a story)
HER: (laughing) what's your answer to my text first?
ME: um, sure you can give it to them- well, give them my NY number so they don't have my actual cell (free online forwarding service)
HER: (Tells story of 14-year-old kid who asks for her number, to which she laughs at and says "hell no")

Later that day in an email...

ME: Your txt this morning made me laugh. See, I knew you'd meet someone creepy (ok or at least just plain annoying) on your trip
HER: Well, I'm glad the text message did something...I probably sent it to see how you'd react to it.

So then I realize, oh duh, she was testing me. I've never been very jealous or possessive at all... so was she testing to see if I would turn into some jealous loser, or was she trying to stimulate some form of healthy jealousy? And then, did I pass? (probably not if it's the 2nd of the two?)

 

[slickaz]

i think you did good dude.
coz you didnt come across strong jealous..just like yeh sure give em my number,.
but you also didnt probe too much into exactly WHY! she was asking..

i guess she may have expected two outcomes.
either you wouldve gotten mad! and thrown a rage like TeLL ME THE TRUTH!..

or

you wouldnt give a sh!t.

but this way you show you do care but not nuff to be super jealous and hurt somebody.

but only you can tell if you passed..if she still acts the same way around you then you passed. if she stopped callin as much etc. then you failed.lol

 

[Igetit!]

Hey man, I'd have to agree with Slickaz,but to be honest this is kind of a tough one. The good news is that she IS testing you. Just the fact that she test you is good. That means she is interested in you and she is attracted to you,because if she wasn't,instead of testing you do you know what she would do? She'd turn cold.And I mean ice cold. Plus she'd avoid you as much as possible.Now,of course you already know that the whole purpose of any test from a woman is to see if you're a man or not.She wants to see how manly you are.So the more masculine you are,the more manly you are,the less she will have to test you. Just be sure be a little more caveman/neanderthal on purpose every now and then.

 

[jigga23]

All you gotta say to her so you will never come off as jealous is "do what you want I cant tell you what to do but I cant promise you ill be around if i dont like what i see." Never fails. I say this sh1t all the time because I end up dating slvtty ch1cks who feel the need to test me and flirt with dudes in front of me.

 

[skinnydart]

Thanks guys, and slickaz I hope you're right

I know I didn't "fail" in that sense; our relationship is good and her IL is high. For example in the email (where her text was brought up), her response was about 4 times longer than what I sent her.

I haven't really had an opportunity to be jealous (even a little) as no guys have hit on her when I'm with her, she doesn't flirt with other guys, etc, and I'm just not really the jealous type. So I'm just wondering if a test like that is out of mere-curiosity to see what I'd say, or is it a desperate plea for something other than my previous nonchalant and indifferent attitude toward the relationship. Is she searching for some type of reassurance that I think of her as "my girlfriend" or something?

 

[Igetit!]

I don't think she's trying to get conformation that she's your GF. From what I know about testing, the sole purpose of testing is to find out how manly you are. The fact that you were able to get her to go out with you and enter in a relationship with you in the first place means that at least at the beginning you demonstrated that you were a man,and the more masculine you are,the more feminine she feels,the more chemistry she feels. Generating chemistry in a woman is a lot like putting gas in a car. You don't do it one time,then drive forever. You have to do it over and over again. In order for a woman to be happy in a relationship,you have to generate chemistry in her over and over again. You said that right now her interest level in you is high. That's good,man. But maybe it is starting to drop off a little,and the reason she threw in the test was because her "chemistry fuel tank" was starting to get a little low,and by seeing you react in a manly/masculine way to her test,she gets a little more fuel in her tank.

 

[slickaz]

Hey bro,
listen to Jigga and Igetit, i think they gots ome good advice.

Every now and then you need to add variety in it.
Not jealousy like the Hulk, but a little bit of possessivenes wouldnt hurt.
because women are not really right in their minds.

sometimes they want a dude to take absolute control, sometimes they just dont want you around forever! then they do.

but i think you can control that with the way you act, theres two ways:
- either you set it up so she KNOWS that there is no NO WAY you will EVER be the POSSESIVE type.

- or you set it up so she doesnt know WHEN you're possesive side gets triggered.

either way, if you take the indecisive control out of her hands and keep it with you, you can switch it on when you want. and she knows she cant just blame you down the track for being too possesive on june 12th 2001 at 1:03pm.

correct me if im wrong, but i think alot of women dont know when they want you to be in a specific mood, but if you're masculine enough she'll just get used to you switching when YOU feel like it. so she cant say, "in this situation i want you to be possesive, but not in that one"...

but i think
"do what you want I cant tell you what to do but I cant promise you ill be around if i dont like what i see"..genius!..itll work..

ive dated a girl that LOVED for me to be possesive and take control, and ive also dated girls that have despise me being possesive and being in control, ive also had girls in the middle...i personally like the ones that dont like me being possesive because i just say the above line, which really is me setting a rule..but they dont know that...as a man i think sometimes women expect you to tell em what to do...i dunno..i havent figured women out yet.