Getting your girlfriend back

[goneforaride]

I dont know if this is the right place to put it but I'm gonna put it here.

For the last 2 months I've been with the perfect girl for me, shared many happy times and she has turned me from an 18 year old depressed boy to an 18 year old happy guy with the best things happening for him.

About a month into our relationship her best friend got dumped by his girlfriend, so she was always with him, just being there for him. He wasnt exactly just any best friend, he was her ex, and her first real "love" (If you can call it that at our age)

Because she was with him so much she came to realise how much she actually still liked him, (he dumped her and hurt her (this was two years ago, and has continually told her to **** off then come back for more help, he's kind of using her and I don't want her hurt)

Anyway yesterday I went to see her at work because she wanted to talk to me, I knew it was that she was going to break it off because she said we hadnt been working well, I loved this girl so much I was more than willing to keep trying, and to work stuff out. Because no matter who you are every relationship has problems in it.
She told me it wasnt just because we wernt working but also because she liked her ex again, this kind of came to me as a shock but at the same time it wasnt that hard to see.

So anyway she's asked for some time to herself just to see what's going on in her head. She really just wants to be mates because I can tell that I'm second best to her ex.

I really like this girl and I don't know what I should to. Pressuring her into wanting me again will just make her not want me, and leaving it will hurt me too much. I'm a real emotional mess at the moment because of this, she ment alot to me. So if she does realise she still wants me then I want to be able to still want her, and not be over her.

Just to let you know I have only had one girlfriend like her before and that relationship lasted a year. She is the best thing that's happened to me so letting go of her wont be easy.

 

[earthshyne]

Originally posted by goneforaride
Pressuring her into wanting me again will just make her not want me

You're absolutely right. Pressure tactics seldom work, especially in relationships.

leaving it will hurt me too much

Hurt too much? Sure, it will be painful for a while, but what's "too much"? Strength and character come from within, not from people outside of your own head. So allow yourself to feel the hurt - for a while - then pick up and move on. You'll be a better man for it.

I'm a real emotional mess at the moment

That's to be expected. There would be something wrong if you weren't a wreck right now. But, as dark as this abyss may seem, you'll get over this in time.

Letting go is never, ever easy. Sometimes it seems so painful that we don't know if we'll have the strength to carry on. But, strangely enough, the world still turns and the sun still rises and - this is the best part - there are lots and lots of beautiful, funny, intelligent wimmen out there that would just love a guy like you.

 

[the phenom]

its never ever easy. no matter what the situation though, you absolutely can't change your life for a girl. when you're with a girl, do the things you love. When she goes, do the things you love. Girl or no girl, you'll still have your "true" loves. If you don't, when she goes you'll look around and wonder about all the time you wasted. I graduated in june of 04 and was with one girl my enitire senior year, and the first six months of college. Anyway, my junior year I was all-state as a wide receiver and a state champ wrestler. Once i got with this girl though, everything was about her. Football went down the drain, and I didn't even wrestle because she wanted me to spend more time with her. And after the breakup, besides just hurting over her, I mourned everything I had neglected the past year and a half. Five months later, now that I'm over her, It's the fact that I neglected myself that still gets me. Not her. Just my take.

 

[car501]

Originally posted by goneforaride

So anyway she's asked for some time to herself just to see what's going on in her head.

Sigh... I'll be blunt with you here partner...It's done ! Ask any quy here who's heard those word and they'll pretty much tell you the same thing.
I had a girl say the same thing to myself. So, I gave her time with no contact from me. Week later she wanted to get back together and I did. Six weeks later, you guessed it, we were done. I'll try to save you some aggravation here. Have NO contact whith her while she's straighting out her head (which in womanesse means, dating the other guy). No email,chat, calls. I would just move on. Yup, its hard to do and sometimes you'll feel like sh*t, but thats ok. Its how you handle this situation that will determine how your gonna feel down the road.

 

[jprjrjr]

Seriously dude, this is not the type of woman you want to be with. The guy continually tells her to **** off, but she's best friends with him and helps him through his ordeal????

Be a man, and step away. Don't give her any time to "clear her head" Go out and find a better woman. This bytch is a bottom feeder. Sometimes it's hard to see that when you're so emotionally involved, but it's the truth.

Don't give the ***** anything to hang on to. This chump she's nursing back to health is using her, and when he's done, he'll kick her ass back to the curb....DON'T BE THERE FOR HER!!!!!

 

[PRMoon]

There are other girls out there. Get over it and move on.

Tis better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all.

 

[Lost In Translation]

you made the mistake of not acting like a man and allowing her to have her ex in the picture with the lame old " but he's my best friend "

but he broke her heart

but he's my best friend

but he says F*CK OFF B*TCH !

but he's my best friend

WOMEN ARE FULL OF **** in this situation

an honest woman you will not find peddling this crap to a real man

so she was always with him

remember that

About a month into our relationship her best friend got dumped by his girlfriend, so she was always with him, just being there for him. He wasnt exactly just any best friend, he was her ex, and her first real "love" (If you can call it that at our age)

Because she was with him so much she came to realise how much she actually still liked him, (he dumped her and hurt her (this was two years ago, and has continually told her to **** off then come back for more help, he's kind of using her and I don't want her hurt)

and for the knockout punch she hit you with

She told me it wasnt just because we wernt working but also because she liked her ex again

ok take comfort in the fact there was not alot you could do as you don't have the experience to deal with a woman like this

W H 0 R E

she just ran back to her pimp the one who was pimpin' her before

HER EX --- SEE PIMP

you are only 18 years old and you sound like a good person

so you wouldn't understand the nature of b*tches and h0es

she probably lost her virginity to him and that takes the game to another level

never listen to women who are in a relationship and say :

but he's just a friend

my ex is sad so i am gunna go over to his house and cheer him up

i used to go to school with him so i need time with him


she wants a friend ?

she can have 30 FEMALE friends

maybe even a puppy


just LEARN from it and move on

how old is this chick ?


best advice i heard on this and i saved it into my sig

Quote: Player_Supreme
“ Your woman in my opinion shouldn't be talking to an ex. It's ok to have men friends but friends whom she used to suck their d*cks is not in my picture. “

i hope my sig below helps alittle

Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: maddman75
“ I am the prize. I like what I see so far, so I'll give her an opportunity to show me that she's worth my time and effort. If she rejects me, she's a fool. I'll just go find the next lucky chick and let her have what this chick is throwing away. “

 

[Luveno]

Dude, this girl disrespected you.

Chuck her to the curb and never look back. No calls, no talking, no instant messaging or emails. Nothing. She is last weeks news to you now.

By the way, I suggest you read up on the DJ Bible. There you'll find all sorts of ******** translations. If you knew that before, you wouldn't have had to ask us that question. Knowledge is power.

 

[Bonhomme]

LIT's right on

Listen to what the guys are saying.

If you were cabable of enough emotional detatchment, she could be a decent "on again/off again" fvck buddy, when she's not hanging with the lust of her life (him, not you), but it's clear you're not.

Move on. Dealing with her will only mess up your head.

In this case, I don't even think you should see her as a friend. Just stay away. Period. Find others. ASAP.

 

[goneforaride]

it's just going to be insanly hard because she was a mate of mine for about a year before we started going out. We wernt good mates, we just new eachother through other people.

I'm not one that can just find a girl and be happy with them. It takes time to find the right girl for me, the last girl like her i spent a year with and we broke up two years ago.

I'm going to try my best to move on but I am head over heals for this girl

 

[goneforaride]

I've decided I'm going to let her go, I've realised that her and her ex have history together, therefore I'm never going to win her out. And I'd rather not be there at all then being second.

Thanks for the tips. I should have read the bible before we started getting serious, would have helped out alot.

 

[LongDrinkofWater]

Yup, review the DJ Bible. That should give you a lot of insight as to why the others on this board have said wht they've said.

Sounds like you're getting the right attitude about your ex, especially considering how you've said you feel about her. Don't worry, in time you'll get over her. In the meantime, keep reading the DJB.

 

[duttylove]

Do not ever take or want a hor back!

 

[goneforaride]

I've come to realise that at the start of our relationship I didnt really like _her_

I liked her long legs, blonde hair, and completly tanned body. It was only after we were together for a little while that I really started to like her because I got to know her on a more personal level.

With the help of the DJB I should be able to do this and trial it with every girl I meet, Sure I don't meet girls often but if I got off my ass and went out, went to the gym, then it'd sure as hell be alot easier.

Decided I'm going to go to the gym and sign up tonight. Finally get myself moving. Make her realise it was a mistake breaking up with me, then shooting it back in her face