omkara
Senior Don Juan
I am trying to come to terms with the fact that, ostensibly being a man, I have to make pursuing women part of my life. It is a lifelong pursuit. However, there are several factors which prevent me from wanting to actively pursue women:
1) Pride – I honestly think I’m better than most women, or at least the way I’ve built them up to be in my mind. But then if I look hard enough, I can see examples of kindness in women. They kind of have to be. It’s too miserable to be mean all the time.
2) I don’t want to feed their egos because they’re already arrogant enough
3) My confidence is already low so any rejection would totally floor me
I was reading through the archives of Roissy’s site recently, and I came across a post where he addresses this dilemma:
tokyobetagrist mewled:
“According to the official story, game is all about controlling women and not letting them control you. If that’s the case, the only solution to this test that’s consistent with the philosophy of game is to do nothing. If you’re going to jump through hoops (I mean even more than usual) just to have sex with this one special woman, how are you any different from “betas?” This is the paradox of game, because you’re always jumping through hoops and always being controlled by women, even as you tell yourself that it’s the other way around.”
Roissy: Spoken like a supercilious eunuch who believes that women should fall into men’s laps, and any effort on a man’s part to attract women only sullies his masculinity. TBG, I have some very demoralizing news for you — no man is exempt from the biomechanical forces of sexual selection. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you do what it takes to attract the opposite sex, or you sit in your dank basement apartment hovel spitefully masturbating into the tattered sock of your self-satisfied dogma.
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/a-test-of-your-game-the-judging-3/
Sometimes, when I stop trying, I get into a downward confidence spiral and I feel like I just can’t take the risk of laying myself out there and leaving myself open to rejection. I start to hate people. I become bitter. (This is made worse by the fact that I don’t have any close friends, or any kind of social support.)
Somehow or other I eventually get sick of it and decide to make an effort. Then it starts to get easier and I remember what I’m doing and my whole mood improves. When I have a few girls that I’m talking to, my confidence is higher. The world seems a brighter place.
But shouldn’t happiness and confidence come from within? Yes, but let’s not kid ourselves. Sometimes you’re not confident or happy because you’re a loser—or at least acting like one.
“Confidence is the result of years of successful interaction with women. A man getting the love of women is a confident man. A man getting scorned is a doubtful man. Confidence is not some abstract, nebulous ephemera that alights like cosmic dust on a man who wills it into existence. Confidence is a manifest set of behaviors and attitudes that reflect a man’s inner emotional harmony. This emotional harmony is better known as “becoming alpha”. A man not getting what he wants in life can observe, learn, and mimic the behaviors of confident men until he starts experiencing the success he wants and his emotional state follows in accordance. There is no definition of confidence that doesn’t include these behaviors and attitudes.”
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/reader-mailbag-bloupie-edition/
A loser in pick-up is the person who doesn’t try. Of course sometimes one is just content and just doesn’t care about women. It’s sometimes hard to tell which is which.
1) Pride – I honestly think I’m better than most women, or at least the way I’ve built them up to be in my mind. But then if I look hard enough, I can see examples of kindness in women. They kind of have to be. It’s too miserable to be mean all the time.
2) I don’t want to feed their egos because they’re already arrogant enough
3) My confidence is already low so any rejection would totally floor me
I was reading through the archives of Roissy’s site recently, and I came across a post where he addresses this dilemma:
tokyobetagrist mewled:
“According to the official story, game is all about controlling women and not letting them control you. If that’s the case, the only solution to this test that’s consistent with the philosophy of game is to do nothing. If you’re going to jump through hoops (I mean even more than usual) just to have sex with this one special woman, how are you any different from “betas?” This is the paradox of game, because you’re always jumping through hoops and always being controlled by women, even as you tell yourself that it’s the other way around.”
Roissy: Spoken like a supercilious eunuch who believes that women should fall into men’s laps, and any effort on a man’s part to attract women only sullies his masculinity. TBG, I have some very demoralizing news for you — no man is exempt from the biomechanical forces of sexual selection. Whether you are consciously aware of it or not, you do what it takes to attract the opposite sex, or you sit in your dank basement apartment hovel spitefully masturbating into the tattered sock of your self-satisfied dogma.
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/03/12/a-test-of-your-game-the-judging-3/
Sometimes, when I stop trying, I get into a downward confidence spiral and I feel like I just can’t take the risk of laying myself out there and leaving myself open to rejection. I start to hate people. I become bitter. (This is made worse by the fact that I don’t have any close friends, or any kind of social support.)
Somehow or other I eventually get sick of it and decide to make an effort. Then it starts to get easier and I remember what I’m doing and my whole mood improves. When I have a few girls that I’m talking to, my confidence is higher. The world seems a brighter place.
But shouldn’t happiness and confidence come from within? Yes, but let’s not kid ourselves. Sometimes you’re not confident or happy because you’re a loser—or at least acting like one.
“Confidence is the result of years of successful interaction with women. A man getting the love of women is a confident man. A man getting scorned is a doubtful man. Confidence is not some abstract, nebulous ephemera that alights like cosmic dust on a man who wills it into existence. Confidence is a manifest set of behaviors and attitudes that reflect a man’s inner emotional harmony. This emotional harmony is better known as “becoming alpha”. A man not getting what he wants in life can observe, learn, and mimic the behaviors of confident men until he starts experiencing the success he wants and his emotional state follows in accordance. There is no definition of confidence that doesn’t include these behaviors and attitudes.”
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/reader-mailbag-bloupie-edition/
A loser in pick-up is the person who doesn’t try. Of course sometimes one is just content and just doesn’t care about women. It’s sometimes hard to tell which is which.
