Getting rusty.... (also need help with a japanese girl)

[MattB]

Havent been to this site for awhile now. I notice there are lots of new people here.


Right now I am a second year university student. I am Chinese Canadian and I live in Canada.

I live on campus and recently noticed a really hot jap girl. (Well I have known her since sept, know as in knowing her name. didnt give her much of a thought cus i didnt wanna be in any relationships at that point)

Anyways, I have never dated a jap girl, so I wanna hear about what you have to say. Judging from her accents , shes probably been in canada for 1-3 years. Shes hot but kinda loose (or so I heard..)

2 nights ago I was studying in the studying room in my room (is finals week) . An hour later she came into the room and started studying too. So I said hi and gave her a piece of chocolate ( was eating it and thought it was a nice gesture) She smiled and said thanks. Later I went upstairs to get my phone so that I could get her number (and enter into the phone). Just as I came back she left the room.

So last night I went to the same place to study again. She also went there later. This time I said hi again and grabbed a mini chocolate bar and threw it at her. She got it and said thanks.
Later I wanted to start a brief convo so I went over and said hi. I didnt know what to say so the only topic that came to mind at that time was final exams.. That a ****y topic
i know it was ****. in fact as i talked i could sense the convo was going bad so i ended it quickly and went back to studying. After that I wasn't really in the mood to talk to her so I didnt get her number.

I noticed that I have lost lots of confidence with girls. This semester I really wasnt in the mindset of being in any relationship. I stopped meeting girls and now the skills and confidence are all gone.



Anyways, what should I do with this jap girl? i knew that convo probably made me look like a bookworm , so is there anything i can do now?

 

[jakethasnake]

This one's easy. Your confidence is low right now. Work on your confidence and ACTUAL attributes (work out, change clothes/hairstyles... just "believing" that you're the shyt won't do a damned thing) - it's clear to me that you don't stand a good chance. So I know this will hurt your ego a little and your loins will SCREAM for action - but let this fish go. Then build yourself up - work out like a bytch (ANYONE can get muscular if they put the work into it... absolutely anyone), get your teeth fixed, get a stylish haircut, and get some nice proper-fitting clothes.


Btw I'm not saying that you have NO chance... but it's rather limited, because the only trump card you have in your battle to get a girl - your confidence and charm - are at a low (as you've admitted to us). Without that, you're dead meat - especially if the object of your affections are several notches above you in the looks department.


Also, read Blayde's recent posts on looks. As a general rule, you can't stray more than 2 points on the look scale, unless you are rich or famous or powerful. That's just the way it is for most of us. And to be honest, I don't think that's SUCH a bad thing. Men who think they're lives are over and worthless because they've realized that they can't land a 10 as a wife need to re-evaluate their sad lives. There's more to a relationship and women than looks (within reason, of course... no one wants a HB 4 ), and there's certainly more to life than just laying women. The guys on this board who have nothing more than that on their minds are little pawns. I am going to do big things with my life.


But anyway, I think it'll be in your best interest to let this one go, and work on yourself with every fibre in your being. There are other women - there always will be. You may be down for letting this one go, but 5 years later when you're out of uni and you meet a stunning young thing at an office function or thru a friend, you WILL LAUGH and wonder why the hell you stressed so much over some woman back in the day. THIS WILL HAPPEN. So with that in your thoughts, take it easy. Besides, if you've been following the DJ rules about not getting infatuated, it really wouldn't be a big deal to let this go, would it? If you are infatuated, then shame on you! I will cyberslap you for being such a wuss with no control over your own emotions. You need to wise up if that's the case.


I wish I could have given you more pleasant news, but I could tell right off the bat that you're not in such hot shape. So it's best to cut your losses and keep working on yourself.


PS: If you're already in superb shape and are stylish and a good social conversator, then I would be at a loss for words. But I'll assume that you're not that -- yet.

 

[OpenMind]

Jake is right on about this girl, you need to let this one go.. she isn't an issue here, your personal state of being is..

this isnt about jap girls, and actually has nothing to do with women at all.. the real issue here is you, and where you are at with yourself.. your whole post was oozing with your feeling of inadequecy.. you dont feel adequate enough for women regardless if they are japanese, chinese, irish, polish, quatemalen, or from siberia! woman are not the issue.. so what you have to do is dig deep and ask yourself what it is that makes you feel inadequate.. maybe you are trying to be what women want instead of trying and being what you want? what is it that stimulates you? what makes you happy? what makes you breathe fire? when you can answer the question "what is my purpose?" and be straight up with yourself about what you want in life and go for it with a burning desire, women and attaining them will become secondary. think about this... a man is designed to blaze a path and a woman is designed to follow a man.. find your path.. set out to travel it.. women will follow.. this isnt about hot "jap" women.. good luck!

BTW: all the "techniques" in the world wont do any good for a DJ who isnt on the right path.... let alone one who isnt on any path at all..

 

[Chaos-Knight]

Feeling Rusty?

Try some DjWD40,
oh I'm all out.....
(had to say that)

Anyway I don't think you'v lost yet with this girl,
you just couldn't come up with stuff to say
when you needed it most,

for that why not try:

Open ended questions,and let her think of what to say~
and you just build off what she says...

If you make her laugh/giggle whatever it is also good.

And chocolate somehow can be used also...
but maybe don't give up too much chocolate just yet.

good luck

 

[jakethasnake]

Just to re-iterate my point:


A lot of guys on this forum have deluded themselves into thinking that a set of "skills" and tricks actually replaces SUBSTANCE. They are wrong. By substance I'm talking about something tangible about you, whether it's your face, or your personality or your body or your money and status, etc. That is CURRENCY in the mating game.


So if you live in a trailer park in Florida and earn 23,000 bucks a year and your two front teeth are missing and you have a big beer gut, you can kiss your chances of landing a hot babe goodbye. Same goes for if you're a Chinatown food delivery boy, or a hoodrat on welfare (sorry about the stereotypes, but you get the idea). Men here at sosuave seem to treat women based on tangible attributes (mainly looks, obviously), but in their colossal egos fail to do the same with themselves. That is just a double standard, and ultimately a delusion. Women WILL judge you based on looks and money and personality and status (not in any particular order of importance), and if you're going to judge women based on looks, you have NO RIGHT to get mad at women for doing that.

 

[OpenMind]

good point jake.. i am with you on that..

 

[NatureGuy]

Yes, good point Jake ! That fact is too
easily forgotten. Which reinforces the concept often stated here that a guy
really needs to work on and improve himself, thereby feeling more confident and improving the conditions under which success will occur.

 

[MattB]

This one's easy. Your confidence is low right now. Work on your confidence and ACTUAL attributes (work out, change clothes/hairstyles... just "believing" that you're the shyt won't do a damned thing) - it's clear to me that you don't stand a good chance. So I know this will hurt your ego a little and your loins will SCREAM for action - but let this fish go. Then build yourself up - work out like a bytch (ANYONE can get muscular if they put the work into it... absolutely anyone), get your teeth fixed, get a stylish haircut, and get some nice proper-fitting clothes.

been there, done that. ALso I dont really stress over women. That happened before I came to this site.

I came to this site a year ago, and have done the things you mentioned. I stopped working out recently cus I was in an auto acident. Theres a bone fracture that will take a couple more months to heal, so cant really do workout right.

To be honest with you guys, i dont really want a relationship. I just want a quick laid. (a friend of mne got a bj from her) I dont think shse outta my league, cus I would rate her an 8? I think honestly I am at least 6.5

I konw there are no "techniques" to win you a girl, but subtle things like kino , eye contact and a some nlp do help.

 

[jakethasnake]

Well then, since you're within 2 points of her on the looks scale, she's definately within reach. Just turn on the charm. Good luck - didn't mean to disparage you in anyway.

 

[kyokon]

Originally posted by jakethasnake But anyway, I think it'll be in your best interest to let this one go, and work on yourself with every fibre in your being. There are other women - there always will be. You may be down for letting this one go, but 5 years later when you're out of uni and you meet a stunning young thing at an office function or thru a friend, you WILL LAUGH and wonder why the hell you stressed so much over some woman back in the day. THIS WILL HAPPEN.

Yes, it WILL happen. great post jake
maybe with the chocolate next time you could say "i'd give you this chocolate but i only have one" teasingly so she'll think yeah he's gonna give it to me anyway. then eat it yourself.
later pull out another choc tell her oops i actually had another one silly me, she'll think now this one is definitely mine - then eat the second one too ahahah

 

[MattB]

Originally posted by kyokon
Yes, it WILL happen. great post jake
maybe with the chocolate next time you could say "i'd give you this chocolate but i only have one" teasingly so she'll think yeah he's gonna give it to me anyway. then eat it yourself.
later pull out another choc tell her oops i actually had another one silly me, she'll think now this one is definitely mine - then eat the second one too ahahah

lol
defitnetly gonna try this

thx for the advices everybody

jake: No worries.