Herb
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2016
- Messages
- 78
- Reaction score
- 18
- Age
- 34
So I met a girl about a month and a half ago or so at a reception. At the end of our talk, when it's often customary to exchange business cards, she said she didn't have one but gave me her number. I also became friends with a few of her acquaintances, and we went exploring the city as a group together a few nights later after another event for our industry, with me driving. Anyway, I then hit her up and invited her to meet for some drinks/coffee in the afternoon later that week, and she enthusiastically agreed; we had a pretty good time. She told me she was also willing to go to some of the same places or museums she'd already been to with me. But I eventually took her to a carnival on the weekend and drove her to it an hour away, even though we were meeting up with a bunch of my friends who were already there. I had kind of meant this as a date initially (never referred to it as such) but was on the fence about it, and for various reasons eventually decided I wasn't feeling it that way with her over the course of the "date", so I didn't escalate, although I did keep up the occasional teasing and mild flirting. I essentially purposely friend-zoned myself. I also took a bit more of an interest in one of her best friends here, who was a lot more slutty.
Over the course of the next month we just mainly chilled as friends in a group, or occasionally one on one. One night her friend was sending me provocative snaps of them getting ready to go out (they like to drink) but I couldn't come out that night due to other obligations. Within the last week or so, I came to realize that I have renewed interest in her (the main girl I'm talking about). Part of the reason I wasn't as into her earlier was because she tended to always be hungover and out of it, so she wasn't on her A game either physically or mentally. But now she actually looks quite good and having hung out with her numerous times I've come to like her personality-wise too.
Last week I took her out to a Buffalo Wild Wings and drove her home. I half-jokingly asked about coming up to see her apartment (I coincidentally used to live in the same building), and she said "well sure but I'm just going to sleep you can watch TV in the main room". Just laughed it off and wished her good night. A few days later she asked if I would come with her to a movie since she didn't have anyone else to go with and didn't want to look like a loser (she was new to town and still working on finding a permanent job). It was even at a theater that was close to where I live, so after the movie I suggested we grab drinks at a cool hidden bar nearby, planning on asking her to come back to my place afterward. Had a good time there, but when I eventually suggested going to my place as we were leaving the bar, she said she was really tired and it was her bedtime, being a weekday, and just wanted me to drive her to a bus-stop, which I did (it's true that she constantly gets tired around 10-11). As she was cold outside I did give her my jacket, and of course bought the drinks. She didn't really say thanks for that though, and when I dropped her off she just quickly said bye without a hug or anything, although that's not totally out of character for her either; it's just her slightly aloof natural style.
It's hard to get a good read on her. She was certainly interested in me initially but I feel like now I may be deeper in the friend zone,... and that my recent actions may actually be creeping her out now. But we're not like totally friends either. We've only known each other for a short amount of time overall. She's never been to my place before either. As I said I do occasionally give her a hard time, teasing her and stuff and flirt a bit, so it's not like I'm some longtime gay best friend of hers. There is (or at least was) some sexual tension there, and her body language still seems to indicate physical attraction, although she sends out mixed signals. She also has said things like telling me to be careful and not catch a cold and stuff like that.
I recall a couple of weeks earlier she suggested we go shopping for some Asian food that she could cook for me, and I agreed to the idea but was so busy that I couldn't make time for it back then. When I eventually mentioned the idea again she was like half-jokingly mad that I took so long to get to it, since she had just bought stuff for herself, and kinda deflected the idea. The last time we recently discussed it she said maybe we should do a dinner party instead, which I wasn't as receptive to obviously. When discussing how "loose" her friend is, I mentioned that she, in contrast, seemed a lot more old fashioned or proper, and not as interested in hooking up with random dudes, to which she replied that she occasionally does do that although not often, which was interesting.
So is there a way to kinda get out of this zone? She may be onto me but at the same time seems okay with it, since she's still interacting with me. Also, I don't necessarily actually want to go out with her officially, but am talking about more of a casual thing, at least at first. I feel like it's sometimes harder to go from being friends to something casual like FWB than it is to go to a meaningful relationship. It's not like you can just float the idea... it has to happen naturally. But I don't think I'm too deep into the zone either. May require making her jealous with other girls around.
Over the course of the next month we just mainly chilled as friends in a group, or occasionally one on one. One night her friend was sending me provocative snaps of them getting ready to go out (they like to drink) but I couldn't come out that night due to other obligations. Within the last week or so, I came to realize that I have renewed interest in her (the main girl I'm talking about). Part of the reason I wasn't as into her earlier was because she tended to always be hungover and out of it, so she wasn't on her A game either physically or mentally. But now she actually looks quite good and having hung out with her numerous times I've come to like her personality-wise too.
Last week I took her out to a Buffalo Wild Wings and drove her home. I half-jokingly asked about coming up to see her apartment (I coincidentally used to live in the same building), and she said "well sure but I'm just going to sleep you can watch TV in the main room". Just laughed it off and wished her good night. A few days later she asked if I would come with her to a movie since she didn't have anyone else to go with and didn't want to look like a loser (she was new to town and still working on finding a permanent job). It was even at a theater that was close to where I live, so after the movie I suggested we grab drinks at a cool hidden bar nearby, planning on asking her to come back to my place afterward. Had a good time there, but when I eventually suggested going to my place as we were leaving the bar, she said she was really tired and it was her bedtime, being a weekday, and just wanted me to drive her to a bus-stop, which I did (it's true that she constantly gets tired around 10-11). As she was cold outside I did give her my jacket, and of course bought the drinks. She didn't really say thanks for that though, and when I dropped her off she just quickly said bye without a hug or anything, although that's not totally out of character for her either; it's just her slightly aloof natural style.
It's hard to get a good read on her. She was certainly interested in me initially but I feel like now I may be deeper in the friend zone,... and that my recent actions may actually be creeping her out now. But we're not like totally friends either. We've only known each other for a short amount of time overall. She's never been to my place before either. As I said I do occasionally give her a hard time, teasing her and stuff and flirt a bit, so it's not like I'm some longtime gay best friend of hers. There is (or at least was) some sexual tension there, and her body language still seems to indicate physical attraction, although she sends out mixed signals. She also has said things like telling me to be careful and not catch a cold and stuff like that.
I recall a couple of weeks earlier she suggested we go shopping for some Asian food that she could cook for me, and I agreed to the idea but was so busy that I couldn't make time for it back then. When I eventually mentioned the idea again she was like half-jokingly mad that I took so long to get to it, since she had just bought stuff for herself, and kinda deflected the idea. The last time we recently discussed it she said maybe we should do a dinner party instead, which I wasn't as receptive to obviously. When discussing how "loose" her friend is, I mentioned that she, in contrast, seemed a lot more old fashioned or proper, and not as interested in hooking up with random dudes, to which she replied that she occasionally does do that although not often, which was interesting.
So is there a way to kinda get out of this zone? She may be onto me but at the same time seems okay with it, since she's still interacting with me. Also, I don't necessarily actually want to go out with her officially, but am talking about more of a casual thing, at least at first. I feel like it's sometimes harder to go from being friends to something casual like FWB than it is to go to a meaningful relationship. It's not like you can just float the idea... it has to happen naturally. But I don't think I'm too deep into the zone either. May require making her jealous with other girls around.
