Getting hurt and dealing with it.

[Alphathree]

I get hurt from time to time by woman. Hey, it happens to the best of us. Tonight is one such night.

My training tells me to supress my emotions... but I've also found the past few times I've been hurt (lol) that allowing yourself just one night or perhaps one hour to just experience those feelings is helpful to getting over them.

I'm not sure if this is the psychologically "best" way, but rather than carry all that B.S. on your back, just let yourself feel all of it-- jealousy, self pity, sadness, lonliness, whatever other bullsh!t is running around in your head-- and then once you're satisfied, drop all of it and move on.

It's the way to balance humanity with pickup. Let yourself be human for a little while. At least that's what I'm doing right now.

I apologize in advance for the mild mushiness of this post. I'll be fine in the morning.

 

[Mr. Cardio]

dude is it me, but women are scumbags. all they are good for is fvckin they can give two shyts about you........the men that they really, really, really, give their hearts to are thugs and prision men......they only fvck us, if they are goign to do that...why cant they just fvckin give me their heart like they do the prision men.......am i fvckin retarded or are american women just really fvcked up mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

 

[Vincent Freeman]

cheers to that!

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by Mr. Cardio
dude is it me, but women are scumbags. all they are good for is fvckin they can give two shyts about you........the men that they really, really, really, give their hearts to are thugs and prision men......they only fvck us, if they are goign to do that...why cant they just fvckin give me their heart like they do the prision men.......am i fvckin retarded or are american women just really fvcked up mannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

I think there are a lot of good women out there Cardio, but not all women are trustworthy anymore than all men are.

Many young women are quite fickle. They have so, so many options in terms of men.

There are a few women in my life for whom I have a deep respect as human beings with integrity.

Don't get too bitter. Life's too short.

I've been used so many times by so many women, I couldn't even begin to list it.

But I've also turned down perfectly good women, I've hurt them too. I'm no innocent.

You see we all have a certain amount of sexual power and we try to get people with more sexual power than us. In doing so, we often get burned.

You can't let yourself get too invested in one person. It's easy to slip and find yourself in a state where you've given away a lot of power.

Your power must come from within.

See, all in all, I had a good night, despite this girl that I really fell for kinda-sorta rejecting me... I'm not really sure what happened... I'm not an AFC... I know when a woman is attracted to me... and she _IS_. But some emotional BS is getting in her way.

But yes, I had a good night, because most of my power comes from within. So I was still laughing and flirting with absolutely everyone else and cracking bad jokes and dancing up a storm... and this pseudo-rejection is a scar on my night, but it doesn't define it.

Of course it still hurts because I was too invested in her.

 

[backbreaker]

it can suck, no dout about that.

But you have to ask yourself a question... why does it suck soo damn bad?

the only time something hurts is when you care about it.

Hence, the only way a woman can break your heart, is if you hand it to her.

That's why my heart is stored away in my garage.

However, one thing I have learend is that no matter how I feel, SHUT UP, because you will end up doing something you will reget later, rather it be saying something you shouldn't, or letting someone out that shouldn't have.

If a woman wants to give her heart to a dude that has his life ****ed up, that's her problem, not mine.. is tht they kind of woman you want to hand your heart to anyway?

That's why it so importance to have a resemblance of balance in your life, because if you have all your eggs in one basket (women), sooner or later that basket will break, and with it your confidence/self esteem

There are only a handful of women out there, maybe less than 3% that are truely worth giving your heart to.

The rest are to be played with, becasuse they play with you. It's a game, ,and if you take the game seriously, you will be hurt.

I can talk to a woman for 5 minutes and in 5 mintues I can tell you if she is worthy of giving yourself to. Not to many are.

As far as women being sumbags, they aren't.. they are women. Women arne't rational.

Your problem is you try to rationalize how a woman would do such and such.. and that's where you messed up. Women are like the high tide, they do whatever the hell they FEEL like doing, and then rationalize it later.

A woman can rationalize ****ing your dad and giving your brother a BJ.

I get **** like that all the time... I just move on to something or someone, depending on how everything is going, ,else.

Your time is alot more valuable than wonder why a woman does what she does.

However, you want to know what pisses a woman off more than anything? Realizing she ****ED UP.

Oh, don't let a woman treat you like ****, and she bump into you a year later and you look, feel better, have a better job, have more confidence... She will loose her mind and go into Emergency Mode trying to get you back.

 

[Alphathree]

Don't worry guys... it's not a serious case of one-itis. I'm not going to go buy her a bunch of flowers now.

I'm human and sometimes I have feelings for other people.

Luckily all of my self-improvement lets me limit the effect those feelings have on my life.

You wouldn't be happy if you died without ever feeling something for another person. You can't keep your heart locked up forever... hopefully, though, you'll only let the right ones inside.

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by Alphathree
I get hurt from time to time by woman. Hey, it happens to the best of us. Tonight is one such night.

My training tells me to supress my emotions... but I've also found the past few times I've been hurt (lol) that allowing yourself just one night or perhaps one hour to just experience those feelings is helpful to getting over them.

I'm not sure if this is the psychologically "best" way, but rather than carry all that B.S. on your back, just let yourself feel all of it-- jealousy, self pity, sadness, lonliness, whatever other bullsh!t is running around in your head-- and then once you're satisfied, drop all of it and move on.

It's the way to balance humanity with pickup. Let yourself be human for a little while. At least that's what I'm doing right now.

I apologize in advance for the mild mushiness of this post. I'll be fine in the morning.

What you've mentioned is a good way of dealing with rejection. In fact, 'acting' like a player when in fact you're hurting inside is an extremely lame way of handling rejection. I believe this to be so only because when you allow yourself that 'time' to wallow, you are understanding what has happened to you. You aren't suppressing but actually confronting. It's a question of how brave you are to admit to yourself that you failed, that you're lame, that it was just not meant to be or that she just isn't worth your time. But of course that realization has to come. You can't go about wallowing in the same crap over and over again.

It's undeniable that it hurts when you've invested a lot of time, effort and emotions in a girl and then you get rejected. Slowly though, I believe future rejections will just become a disappointment and nothing more.

For the not so brave and for those that expect to be worthy of any girl they want and expect positive returns because of their apparent DJness, prepare for a life of bitterness. Prepare for a life that just seems so fvcked up. Prepare for a life that seems so much better in your head than in reality.

 

[PRMoon]

Having pain from feelings is one of many ways of you knowing you're still alive and human. If you didn't have them you'd be robot and you'd never know happiness because you have to understand hurt to truly appreciate the finer things in life.

That being said, everyone gets hurt, the key is to accept that pain and realize that tommorow is another day and life waits for no one. Even if you do still hurt in the morning you'll find something (or someone for that matter) to feel good about and that fact in itself should be good enough to make you feel better.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by PRMoon
Having pain from feelings is one of many ways of you knowing you're still alive and human. If you didn't have them you'd be robot and you'd never know happiness because you have to understand hurt to truly appreciate the finer things in life.

That being said, everyone gets hurt, the key is to accept that pain and realize that tommorow is another day and life waits for no one. Even if you do still hurt in the morning you'll find something (or someone for that matter) to feel good about and that fact in itself should be good enough to make you feel better.

Thanks PRMoon.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by JC Jerkson
Keep in mind that women ARE replaceable and there's a better one just around the corner.

Yep! Always keep that in mind.

I had a case of oneitis recently, things didn't work out, but it freed me up to go out with someone else and it's all turned out for the best.

 

[Alphathree]

Well the subject of my one-itis looked up my email address and basically apologized for the way she acted and said she'd like to go out with me "any time like"... so mabye there will be a happy ending after all.

NONE THE LESS, better that I was ready to let her go and receive such an email now (bonus!) than to hope for one days on end (pathetic!)

So pat me on the back for having the right attitude, lol!

 

[salsipuedes]

Last night i ended my relationship with both my girlfriend and a chick i was sleeping with every once in a while, i feel like **** right now as i am working. I think Alpha is right about sometimes just letting your emotions out, some guys in this board get too macho and too mechanical about dating women, and if that works for them then i am happy for them. But not all men are the same just like not all women are the same, its o.k. not to be an AFC but i think its also not o.k. to become an ice cold macho slut who cares nothing about others. I am 32, date plenty of women, get my fair share of a**, yet lately i am starting to feel the need for a serious relationship, i had my years of fun, but now its time for a change.

 

[lets_do_this]

Originally posted by Alphathree
Well the subject of my one-itis looked up my email address and basically apologized for the way she acted and said she'd like to go out with me "any time like"... so mabye there will be a happy ending after all.

NONE THE LESS, better that I was ready to let her go and receive such an email now (bonus!) than to hope for one days on end (pathetic!)

So pat me on the back for having the right attitude, lol!

I dont wanna be the bringer of bad news brother, but...

Listen to me, i'm not trying to bring you down.

Right after rejecting you, some girls like to check up on you (how you're doing/how you feel about it). And it seems like you want to jump up on her wagon right away.

Bad move. It's a test. Think about it. Peace.

 

[Alphathree]

Originally posted by lets_do_this
I dont wanna be the bringer of bad news brother, but...

Listen to me, i'm not trying to bring you down.

Right after rejecting you, some girls like to check up on you (how you're doing/how you feel about it). And it seems like you want to jump up on her wagon right away.

Bad move. It's a test. Think about it. Peace.

I'm a bit of an expert in the area of passing woman's tests

I disagree... if there was one, the test was that when she started acting weird, I just gave her the "whatever" vibe and moved on.

Passing the test was her looking up my email address the next day and then apologizing for the way she acted, etc.

See, I asked her if she wanted to hang out that night after getting a zillion IOIs in the past week.

She didn't say "no", in fact, she said "I want to" but she said her "brain was getting in the way" (who knows what that's ******** for).

So that's why I said pseudo-rejection.

Anyway, we're gonna hang out this thursday and I'll make a move. She's skipping out studying for some presentation to go out with me on Thursday, so I'd guess that's a statement about my value in her mind.