GAMES: Where do you draw the line?

[ScrewIt]

Man..i did some reflecting awhile ago...now i hate myself.

I dont know if you guys define this as playing games, but im the one to end dates and end talk (over the phone or text msg).

But ah..this girl is pouring herself out to me, even if she's busy she still makes the time to talk to me. She's 100% honest with me and is a sweet girl. Hell she told me im the only guy i was seeing and thinks im interesting.

Me on the other hand...Even if i am busy or not, i'll talk to her a little while and say ttyl. I told her i'd text her my sn, i never did until she asked for it again. She tells me to talk to her online i dont even go on. We get together on weekends only, she wants to meet during the week in school but i dont want to be too available.

The thing is, i want to keep things interesting between us...without falling into the friends category. I think im going to stop these silly games and make myself more available...because since the beginning she's been doing the chasing, i still want her to but i dont want to push her away thinking im not on the same page as her.

Bah...games..go figure..
Anyone have suggestions?

 

[aftershock]

You have clear urges to go AFC here.

It's better to game her too much than not at all, I say.

Perhaps lighten up a little, but don't go into AFC mode.

 

[rapsta]

Listen to your gut man. If you wanna see her, if she makes you feel god, see her. The worst thing that can happen is that you possibly bore eachother out if you see eachother too often, and someone ends up flaking/cheating etc. But that's not the end of the world, hopefully

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by aftershock
You have clear urges to go AFC here.

It's better to game her too much than not at all, I say.

Perhaps lighten up a little, but don't go into AFC mode.

Well, just cause someone makes themselves slightly more available doesnt mean its AFC.

Honestly i've never been in a relationship before but i just spoke with a friend who is in one. And i asked him since the beginning were there any games, he said no. But anyway i think it varies from person to person what are games.

hehe...anyway i just texted her on hte phone and she immediately signs online.

 

[rapsta]

Originally posted by ScrewIt
hehe...anyway i just texted her on hte phone and she immediately signs online.

But... on the other hand... do you think she would do this if you were too avaliable from the start? If u saw her almost every day etc..

I don't think she would bother rushing to the computer that fast if she knew she had you in her claws

get my point?

 

[MetalFortress]

Is this a relationship or not? In relationships, the gaming should be minimized and you should do what you feel like doing. Relationships are a connection between two people, not a war of games.

And to the guys who will inevitably reply saying you have to play games to keep her interested: your girlfriend sucks.

 

[satyriasis]

well, i dont know what type of relationship your trying to make with girl, but if shes on you hard like this, then it should be a very easy fvck, unless you already have fvcked her to make her like this, lol. i just say... never let your guard down. for all you know she could know whats really going on and is waiting for you to soft up, and then realize your not who you put out to be. you have to communicate to her that, thats who you really are!, thats your personality!, and shes just going to have to accept you for who you are or leave. your falling victim because you feel your hurting her in a way, when if you communicate thats who you really are, how are you hurting her?. when its time to get into a relationship ease up.

 

[Maverick001]

When you bust on a girl or give her a neg hit, and she knows you`re only toying with her in a good way, then it cranks her up in a good way.

Otherwise, the girl doesn`t have the confidence or self-esteem to take the ribbing.

The converse is also true. Ever bust on a girl that busted on you back? That was fun wasn`t it and it got the both of you juiced up.

Any girl that can`t take your good natured busting isn`t in tune with your sense of humour and that to me is an indicator that it`s only going to fall apart at some point. However, nothing wrong with going for the hookup, if that`s what you want.

I might be getting ahead of myself here in terms of your situation, but in every relationship there is a critical juncture where you`ll both reveal your feelings to each other and take a chance on how the other person will react or handle it. There`s no avoiding this if you want to take things to the next level.

I for one am a proponent of having the girl say it first and in your case she has so run with it and take a chance if you want to move things along with this girl.

Just my 2 cents.

Cheers,
Mav

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by rapsta
But... on the other hand... do you think she would do this if you were too avaliable from the start? If u saw her almost every day etc..

I don't think she would bother rushing to the computer that fast if she knew she had you in her claws

get my point?

yea, you make a good point. However i think she's gotten to a point where she's afraid to bug me (or initiate calls/texts now) in fear that she's going to push me away. But whenever i initiate anything, she immediately jumps at the opportunity to respond.
The push-pull thing works quite well actually.

Anyway i've been talking to her for a short while online now, and it appears her IL has jumped 10 fold. And i only havent spoken to her for 1 day.

Is this a relationship or not? In relationships, the gaming should be minimized and you should do what you feel like doing. Relationships are a connection between two people, not a war of games.

Well we've only been on a few dates so far.
Perhaps it might not be a bad idea to keep this up...
But i dunno...This does have potential for a LTR which i wouldnt mind.

 

[blinkwatt]

You have to draw of line of where you stand on this one. Is she just another chicks who your trying to get some from? Or is she more then just a nice body? Another important lesson I have learned is to keep the text,IM,phone conversation to a minumuim. Keep the conversations,mental kino for in person meetings.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Please learn how to post internet messages.

1. Post subject header which will preview the reader in the post you are about to make.

2. When making the post, reference to the header but don't use the word "Game" when the subject says "Game" when the whole post is about an entire other matter.