Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Fvcking b*tch

wait_out

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I'm not usually the guy to talk specifics about my life, but I have had an intensely frustrating experience last night and all that frustration has to come out somewhere. *Rant on*

Long story short I was at *the* cool underground bar in town with a friend. We'd gone to see a small show with 5+ local DJ's playing electo-housey music like Wolfgang Gartner, etc. There's a music fest in town so the city is a bit in party mode right now. I've been away from normal life for all but a week out of of the past 2 months (on work-up for deployment this fall), so it's taken a few frustrating experiences getting my legs back cruising women. Anyway it finally fell into place last night. Decently cute blond chick a little taller than myself and I did a good job of pulling her. Not to mention I did it in a second language so I was feeling pretty sharp.

Cue the end of the night. We are chatting by ourselves on the sidewalk outside the club while she smokes. She's asks what I do. I reply, "I'm in the military". This is where my night turns sour. Full stop. Silence. "You're not serious." "Yes, I am." "No. I can't do this. You're really nice and (blah blah blah), but I can't. I just can't." At this point she walks off to go talk to her 2-3 friends.

WTF. I sit on the sidewalk for a few moments, letting the incoming bad mood wash over me and trying to decide what to do. I figure she probably thinks I'm some washout private with no sophistication -- she put three years into a masters she eventually didn't finish. So I go over there. Inject myself in their circle. "I need to talk to you for a second."

We go into a nearby doorway. Talk for a few seconds. Her: "I've got no problems with almost anybody. Druggies, poor people, 'blah blah blah'. There's only two kinds of people I can't support -- police and military". Alright. So that's it. She's anti-authoritarian, security establishment, etc. I've pretty much broken off the pick-up at this point. Me: "Look. I'm not mad right now. I'm not going to throw a fit, and I understand you don't owe me anything. But you should listen."

I go on to try and separate the policies she's probably against, from me the person. Fcvk. If anybody doesn't deserve this kind of ignorance, it's me. I've gotten in political trouble at work before for trying to get foreign affairs to do something about the local Afghan government and police. I've put my own life at risk on occasion, to protect regular kids from here and maybe local families from running over the bombs meant for us. I've stepped in front of AK47's to stop the local police and army from shooting each other over who had right of way on the highway. I've gone to Germany to look after families of wounded soldiers. I brought a fvcking globe to Afghanistan so the kids realize there's a big world out there and they desire to get educated and join the part of it that works. There are bad guys in the army. I am so, so not one of them.

So, I'm burnt from recent training schedule. I live a long way from home and my closest friends. I am pretty happy to have a night that's going VERY well. And I have to deal with THIS FVCKING B1TCH who has probably never gone anywhere, done anything, judging me and trying to moralize to me about things she has no fvcking idea about. She tries to tell me about oil. FFS, if there's a scam going on in Afghanistan, its politicians stealing BILLIONS from their own citizenry in no-bid contracts which do such sh1tty work we electrocute our own soldiers in showers. Or the immense amount of money flying around to pretty much any Afghan we desperately hope will help us, while they use it to build their own private armies to fight it out with each other when we finally leave. Google Free Range International if you want some straight goods, I am not going to discuss it further here.

She was either too drunk, too stupid or most likely has some pathological authority issue that I had the misfortune ran across. I told her her views were superficial, ignorant and left. Either way it killed my nite. I like my job. I like doing meaningful work can accept the risk. It's not like I want to quit. But fvck it burns me up to think I do what I do, and people like her are too fcking closed-minded to even open their ears and learn about it.

I was not ready too cool off and go home, so I ended up recounting this story to a blond girl sitting by herself waiting for her boyfriend to come get her at after 3am, after her female friend abandoned her downtown. Not pick-up, just me needing to unload. She was actually really cool. After we both share our stories she gets harassed by some 33-year old drunken idiot who then tries to sit next to her. I get rid of him. A few seconds later her boy gets there. She is super thankful and sweet while leaving. That's me, the hero. Gah.

Its my fault too for being attracted to such a terrible human being. Fvck. Let me know if I'm out of line on this one boys. Rant off.
 

Plinco

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I do not share your experiences, so I cannot relate to that 100%. It goes the other way too. I have always wanted to join the military, and I get called a ******* for not doing it. I have two specific reasons that I don't, and they are:

I believe 9/11 was an inside job

Those vaccines they give you in boot camp are experimental bio-weapons that give you cancer at age 45.

But I still envy you, I wish I had the respect, training, and first hand experience you do.

I don't hate the military btw.
 

SoldMySoul

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The point where she said she couldn't support the military or police, that was HER disqualifying herself from you. It seemed you then tried to qualify yourself to her after knowing her feelings.

In general I would consider her feelings as being out of the pale of norm and would suggest she was anti social!!!

I would not consider this a loss, I would consider it a good thing knowing right up from where she stands!!! She was rude about it from the way it sounds.
 

Slickster

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Hey that's too bad.

Unfortunately your chosen profession carries around a huge stigma with some people. You will never change that.

This seems like one of those cases where you have to just accept that she's not interested. You can have the looks of a model and still some chicks aren't going to be attracted to you. What can you do? Same thing here. She was obviously interested initially. Don't get hung up on it though. Better to find a woman who thinks your job is cool and interesting.
 

3countriesPlan

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Well she obviously is a libtard. Forget about her and get a new one. And yes some girls are total b1tches and you really just have to forget about them and what they do or say otherwise it will really mess up your day and even have you thinking in the days afterwards.
 

Trader

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People do discriminate for all sorts of reasons: race, looks, sexual orientation, height, weight, gender, and yes profession.
 

wait_out

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She was very attracted. And then she was beyond rude. The girl spent 3 years on a masters (didn't finish) and she can't even divorce soldiering from determining political policy.

Her education = miserable failure
Her personality = miserable failure
Teaching her the military is made of real people not cartoon characters from Avatar = miserable failure

Its not a loss, it just grinds me to think her views are acceptable. She was pretty normal up to that point.
 

Drum&Bass

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meh...theres tons of stupid people in the world...your still YOUNG and NEW to this. When you encounter MORE stupid people in your life...it becomes exhausting trying to enlighten all of them. What you did was human nature. In your mind there was no logic to how she treated you so of course you got upset...EVERYONE gets upset about things worth getting upset about.

Once you get used to the amount of stupid people in the world that you interact with...you learn to IGNORE them. In due time you will begin to understand that there is a reason why these people are stupid.
 

jophil28

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She has not finished her Master's...probably some fluff course work in Political Science or such.. Did you enquire about her discipline ?
You can bet that for the past six or or years she has been marinating in a leftist brew of Marxist nonsense. Universities have become liberal brainwashing centers of the the young, stupid and the gullible .

Academic tenure provides a haven and a sanctuary for washed up academics and failed pinktard writers who never quite convinced any publisher that they had something worthwhile to say.

Shrug it off. I do.
You cannot debate with fools .
 

Falcon25

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Stop being a nice guy. When she goes off on a rant like that, just say "listen, would love to talk to you more about this but I think you are attractive and I want to pound you tonight, make sure you squirt all over my sheets." If she agrees, cool. If she is offended, I just saved you fifteen minutes of your life.
 

Falcon25

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Stop talking about stupid shivt with women, make them FEEL something. Try to fuvk em right away if you don't see a relationship with them. Be aggressive. Make your intentions clear. Make sure she knows you are a sex machine.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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wait_out said:
She's asks what I do. I reply, "I'm in the military". This is where my night turns sour. Full stop. Silence. "You're not serious." "Yes, I am." "No. I can't do this. You're really nice and (blah blah blah), but I can't. I just can't." At this point she walks off to go talk to her 2-3 friends.
She just DQ'd you and you chased after her. Bad move. NEVER EVER try to change another persons mind. You lost this fish, and it should have ended here.

Most guys get pissed when a girl gives up her digits, and then flakes. This girl politely turns you down (you're nice and all, I just can't do this.) She didn't put you down, she didn't degrade you. She gave you a compliment (you're nice and all) and then expressed HER limitations (I can't do this.).

Instead of respecting her right to form her own opinion based on her own criteria (however fukked up you think they are) and letting her go, you tried to chase her down and convince her intellectually that she was wrong for having the opinion that she had.

So what would you have learned if you didn't take somebody else's opinion personally? (she said she didn't like you, she said she didn't like military police people).

1) Different girls have different criteria, some of which are unbendable
2) You can't change somebody's criteria through logical discourse
3) Some chicks just don't dig the military type

So supposing you can get over your anger and frustration, what should you do next time?

Frame your military career in a POSITIVE LIGHT, and bring it up in the conversation EARLY ON, before she asks you what you do.

Take all the cool, positive things you mentioned above, describe your job in THAT aspect.

When this girl mentions her DQ Criteria (not liking military guys) you are talking about the military THROUGH HER FRAME. Too late. Eject soldier.

If you bring it up first, WITHOUT HER ASKING IT, you dictate the frame of a military career:

Protecting people, making sure kids are safe, educating people, protecting innocent people from evil people, ALL THINGS A WOMAN WANTS IN A MAN.

Whenever the conversation is steering towards any topic that resembles some positively spun things you do for your job, bring it in covertly, IN A POSITIVE LIGHT.

EXAMPLE:

Her: I saw this funny show where they were talking about how most people don't know geography.

You: Yea, tell me about it. I brought a bunch of globes to this small school in afghanistan, and I was shocked about how little they knew about the world around them. I spent all day playing globe games with the kids to help them learn about the world and all the opportunities that exit.

Her: Wow, Afghanistan?

You: Yea, my unit was stationed there, and after that we went to such and such a place, where we helped (insert helping innocent people story there.) I really love my job, I've never got so much satisfaction that I've been able to get through helping so many people. (then slowly change the subject to something related, but non-military).

If she is an absolute anti-military NUTJOB, then she won't quickly blurt it out, but you'll know from the diminished energy in the conversation.

EJECT, SOLDIER

However, if she doesn't find any of that objectionable, SARGE ON BROTHER.

Remember,

PRE FRAME
PRE FRAME
PRE FRAME

every mistake, every rejection, every lost fish is more information with which you can more effectively PRE FRAME next time, and get much better results.
 

Plinco

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People are just entitled to their own insanities, which they are responsible for (even if it is not in a woman's nature to want to take responsibility).
 

Bluntmaster

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Why is it insane if she doesn't like military guys? To be honest, if you are in the military you are a slave.

Alot of girls do like them, so just deal with it. Should have forgotten about her and hit an another girl.
 

iqqi

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You care way too much.

You just met her. You JUST MET HER. And she has already made such an impact on you, emotionally no less. You can't let that happen, my friend.

I am GLAD this happened to you! This is a molehill that illustrates a mountain. You cannot let a person get the better of you. You cannot let a woman you have only been dating a small while get you so emotional. And in this case... YOU CANNNOT let a woman you JUST MET get you so emotional. I can only imagine how emotional you would get to a woman you started to have 1-itis for. You basically have it for this girl, in a way.

The point I am sort of being a jerk about getting across to you, is that this definitely is a small spotlight on something you could probably improve about yourself.
 

Bluntmaster

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Obviously the guy thinks being in the Militrary should be a free pass to getting p@ssy but it doesn't work that way, especially in these times. We shouldn't even be over there and we are just f/cking up the world even worse than it is.
 

backbreaker

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1. this is way to easy to work around. The military is who you work for, ti's not what you do. you don't do military. you are a dentist in the military, you are a sniper in the military, you are an operations manager in the military.

my cousin who has been in the military just tells people he is a logistics operator for the government. ****s never thing twice about it.

to prove my point, what is the first thing someone asks you after you boast that you are in the military? "what do you do in the military?" you can just skip all that crap and just tell them what you do anyway.


2. why are you talking about your job anyway? how is talking about your job going to get you laid? the conversation needs to be on making her wet. your military operations do not get women wet. no job gets a woman wet.


3. everyone here talks about the woman catch they want, yet cry when they find one. one of the downfalls to smart women is they have opinions. some of them you will not agree with (obviously). a woman who has spent 3 years earning her masters has spent a ****load of time in academia, and has a very well defined opinion of life. that's the downside of what you get.

the woman is not being a ****, she's being her. the only problem is, being her isn't getting you laid.

had you been a stock broker, you would be screaming about how wonderful a lay you had last night.


Even here, i don't tell people what I do for a living, while i just leased my web development company, over 90% of my income comes from the horse track. But i don't talk about it to that extent because 1. people have opinions about gambling then 2. the non stop pm's about picking horses, i have a life. when a woman asks me what i do, i simply say some of everything (which is true i'm a true polymath, i'm a musician, a technician, a handicapper, among other things). me stating "i play the ponies everyday" is jut asking for trouble. even my fiancee who i met at a horse track, she had to figure it out for herself, then, had to get used to the idea.


don't sweat it brah, just move on. you want smart educated women, educated women have opinions, you have to deal with it.
 

jophil28

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wait_out said:
We go into a nearby doorway. Talk for a few seconds. Her: "I've got no problems with almost anybody. Druggies, poor people, 'blah blah blah'. There's only two kinds of people I can't support -- police and military".
THis is the very last point at which you should have walked away.

My old Colonel said this a long time agao ," Lieutenant, it is our job to protect civilians and keep 'em safe so that they can sleep at night. Expect them to hate you for it. Cool job, right ! "
 
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wait_out

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Wow. I'm such a dummy.

You guys are solid, thanks for the good advice from all corners and I am going to try and internalize a lot of it. Don't know what else to say exactly... thanks for listening.

I am going to really work on the preframing angle. Other option, is there a way to keep conversation away from my job without being standoffish or flaky? I have friends who usually just say "I'm a student" but I don't really want to lie to women in case they turn out to decent people. I'm sick of this always complicating my night out.
 

taiyuu_otoko

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wait_out said:
I am going to really work on the preframing angle. Other option, is there a way to keep conversation away from my job without being standoffish or flaky?
If you pre frame well enough it shouldn't be an issue. Girls will disqualify themselves before they even ask.

the question you need to ask yourself (ok two questions)

1) Are you ashamed in any way of your career choice?

2) Why would you want to be with a woman that doesn't respect your career?

If you do forget to preframe before the question comes up, just have a pre made answer that both shows how much you like your job and how much honest good you think you bring to the world. Let the chips fall where they may. (the sooner the better so you don't waste time).

You can even think of it as a qualifying question from you.

E.G. You ONLY date girls that don't have ANY problems for military girls. Think of a girl's potential problems with anything military as a DEALBREAKER that you must uncover as quickly as possible.

This seems counter intuitive, as most guys believe they must qualify themselves to women, but a guys that turn the tables and makes girls qualify themselves to him exude a certain kind of power most men don't have.
 
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