friends , female friends and girls your interested in never phone you or initate-why

[joe45]

i for some reason always have to phone and initiate to hang out, but i never ever have friends, or even a girl ur interested in phone me.
an example.
this girl -my ex co worker (Karen) i would phone her once in a while-not often at all -like in once in 2 wks to a month or even email-- her just to chat, but she has not once ever phoned me. i would phone her and ask her day, what shes doin on the weekend, hows her studies, whats happening these days, anything new........etc. this girl would never ever phone me. i have to phone her and initiate. whats with that. its not just with her ,but other so called friends too. i have to call em and initiate to hang out or ask about whats happening. if i would never phone em they would never ever phone me. trust me they have my #. whats with ppl these days. are ppl so caught up in themselves and they already have their own friends or something, and not want more.

i have a guy friend who would do the phone me and i'll phone him vis/versa, but other than him everyones the same. i have to contact them. i not even sure if they are friends or just casual aquitances.

i met this other girl(Lisa) from a dating web site. we went out once for coffee once , a wk later dinner and then month later bowling with her friends. throughout the whole time she never phoned me. i would phone her, but she would chat and talk. not once did she ever phone me. i ask her why and she says shes busy , i mean you have a cell and you can't even pick up that cell and say hello how are you for 3 minutes. lol . i mean on the bus, waht else can you do right. lol

what do you guys think do you call em friends,or just aquitances you now and chit chat with . what do u say is the difference and the barrier between the two.
do any of you guys get, what i get. friends , platonic female friends, and girls you met for coffee and are interested- never phone you, you have to phone them. and why

 

[Solarium]

That's a good question, as I ask myself the same thing. I never bothered to think about this when I was younger and carefree, when I made friends more naturally. What I think is that if you were the one to initiate the friendship, you should be the one to do the calling, etc.

People always look for friends who are stronger than they are. If you were the one who seeks their friendship in the beginning, they must be of interest to you, thus implying that they are somehow above you. On the other hand, you may attract others in the same way, and they may initiate the friendship when they find you interesting. In this situation they will more likely to initiate the phone call if you end up being friends with them.

I find that those who grew up by themselves, without any siblings, often have this problem. They lack some of the common sense that other people learned by having siblings.

A problem I found in DJ's is the problem of making "true" friends, ones who would get your back in times of trouble, ones who will be the friends that last a lifetime. We always are required to put up this image, even though it may be eventually incorporated into our true selves, may be too overwhelmingly confident or superficial for some people. We attract and are attracted to superficial people, and in our search for strength, independence, and DJ'ness, often overlook those who helped us on the way there. While this is indeed a world where the strongest survives, we at times forget to truly appreciate what may matter more in the end when you lie down on your deathbed, a friend over a lover.

It's good to sometimes look back a bit and slow down, see people as someone who may be our real friends rather than someone we can use to reach our goals, as in hours of struggle they may be the only ones who can save us.

 

[Prof]

I like to think of it as your way of being alpha. Let's face it, who ever calls the other is responsible for the conversation and, in many ways, directing its content. That's alpha male.

I've been told by chic friends that they do tend to get used to it if a guy repeatidly initiates conversations with them. Proof that they naturally fall in line? I'd say so

 

[b's nuts]

i don't know about your male friends, but mine have loyalty. almost like a street gang minus the crime - it doesn't matter who phones who - we all always chill on the weekends for bars, parties, and if nothings going down just chilling and smoking.

As far as females - one's who crave guy's attention will call you if they don't have other guys attention they are after.

For other girls, think about this - attractive girls have guys after them on a constant basis - including phoning all the time (i notice some girls always have texts or something going). Your going to have to stick out to get their attention and phone calls or you must have fun stuff going on in your life they want to be a part of.