Friends are not "Real Friends" at times

[SimplyTheBest]

How many of you have friends who will stand by you when you're in times of trouble?How many of you have friends who will not betray you among your own friends? I am always the underdog each time when it comes to quarrelling with my friends.

For e.g, I have 5 friends in a group. Suppose if friend number one quarrel with me, nobody will defend me. Everyone seems to be helping friend number one. Hmm.....Why? Apart from that, these people have big mouths. They can't keep a secret. Whatever I have told them will definitely be passed around . They claimed that they are friends but they are not. Basically, they just don't support me when I need help. They are against me when help is needed?

WHY?

 

[matius]

Because they don't like you?

You don't need noone that's no good for you my very good friend. I would like you to realize who it is you need ok. If they can be trimmed, so be it. If not change their attitudes about you everyday. If they can't handle it, drop em.

 

[Ser_i]

if you are complaining that much about your "real friends" than you've picked the wrong ones.

 

[PANK]

Tell one you have had gay feelings towards another friend but to keep it a secret. Then watch as they run and not only tell the others but all the town.

then once all the town think your gay then gay peoiple will come up to you pick the most afcs outta them then be friends with them tell them you dont belive in sex outside marriage and you knowe if they still hang out then you have some true friends, plus youl prob get some new girls too then Maybe they will come onto you, if not you musnt com e on to them. If they do then you can go for it yes even hold hands with them if the gay friends ask why just say you are very confused and experimenting but you still love them too.

 

[Anson]

Originally posted by SimplyTheBest
How many of you have friends who will stand by you when you're in times of trouble?How many of you have friends who will not betray you among your own friends? I am always the underdog each time when it comes to quarrelling with my friends.

For e.g, I have 5 friends in a group. Suppose if friend number one quarrel with me, nobody will defend me. Everyone seems to be helping friend number one. Hmm.....Why? Apart from that, these people have big mouths. They can't keep a secret. Whatever I have told them will definitely be passed around . They claimed that they are friends but they are not. Basically, they just don't support me when I need help. They are against me when help is needed?

WHY?

I had friends like that too. Now I have new friends. And I'm not missing the old ones.

Believe me, if there is ANY way you can get yourself new friends who are funnier to hang out with, then dump these faggots. They are not gonna change their ways even if you changed, and (perhaps even subconsciously) your self-esteem will go down when you're with them. I know that's what happened to me.

These people are no good to you. Get better friends, that's the best advice I can give you.

 

[OddTech]

My philosophy is that "ultimately nobody gives a sh*t about you and your problems." This is written in the DJ Bible somewhere IIRC. What I'm saying is that in this society that we're living in, people won't really help you unless it's benefitting them in some way or another. It is a dog eat dog world here.

I remember when I used to have school and girl problems. Who was helping me at that time? No one. Now when my so-called friends ask for advice, I told them to be f**king man and find out for themselves. What I'm telling you is that friends are cool and fun to have, but don't expect them to go through thick-n-thin with you. Be ready to go through problems by yourself. If you chance upon finding one who can stick by your side, he's a rare gem.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by OddTech
What I'm telling you is that friends are cool and fun to have, but don't expect them to go through thick-n-thin with you. Be ready to go through problems by yourself. If you chance upon finding one who can stick by your side, he's a rare gem.

That was inspirational to me. I just posted a rant about how my friend's dont give a **** about me. But you're right, I've also been thinking about how ultimately we are all slefish. We don't care about anyone but ourselves. I mean how often do I put myself out of my way for a friend? You have made me realise something important about where I am now. Thank you.

Santos

 

[stewartlittle]

I totally agree with you OddTech, real friends are very hard to find, but they exist. I used to have a friend who always defended me and we were like brothers. Sadly he and his parents moved to another part of town and back then e-mail, internet were not so easily to access as today. But when we meet, it is always like old times.

But in the last 20 years I have not met anyone who I can call a real friend. They are all back stabbers, opportunists, waiting to bring you down.

Real friends are indeed a precious gem.

 

[One on One]

I don't think most people are capable of being real friends. Most guys get their priorities out of line, they forget what it takes to be a friend. The bottom line is you even have to DJ to have good friends because if you are too available, you'll lose them. I have one really close friend, but I still wouldn't say he's like a brother...those are very hard to find indeed.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

thread

This may be a bit extreme, but I heard somewhere to ask yourself this question:
"If I saw my friend in the path of an oncoming truck and I had a brief chance to push him out of the way, thereby risking my own life, would I do it?"

There are precious few people outside of my immediate family I'd do that for.

 

[Dee-Zy]

Originally posted by PANK
Tell one you have had gay feelings towards another friend but to keep it a secret. Then watch as they run and not only tell the others but all the town.

then once all the town think your gay then gay peoiple will come up to you pick the most afcs outta them then be friends with them tell them you dont belive in sex outside marriage and you knowe if they still hang out then you have some true friends, plus youl prob get some new girls too then Maybe they will come onto you, if not you musnt com e on to them. If they do then you can go for it yes even hold hands with them if the gay friends ask why just say you are very confused and experimenting but you still love them too.

Are you serious???

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

I think that happens a lot. Just get rid of them.

Now if you DESERVE being ripped apart, then that's another story. And keep in mind, some friends make fun of other friends and insult each other a lot. Especially the guys.

My "friend": "Man, my MOM's a bigger pimp than you."

Me: "So you're mom is selling women for sex, now, huh? No wonder you have that big screen TV."

"friend" uh... no!

I try and consider the source.

My problem is that everyone I know seems to be so one sided. They wouldn't talk to me outside of whatever 1 common interest we might share.

Most of my christian friends only do strictly christian things. If I invite them to a movie or hang out socially, they don't do it. This is a little frustrating, and brings up other issue, but I'll save it for another time.

So while I am friendly with them, I won't go taking much crap from them... and I spend a little time with them going to services, etc, but then I say goodbye, and go do what I want.

I'm fine being a christian. I can be a Christian and get a cup of coffee. I can be a Christian and go see Matrix Reloaded or whatever. I'm a christian, but I try to make a life for myself that isn't always just about god. I don't understand people who can't.

So you go do what you enjoy, and leave your friends alone for a while.


::A good way to tell is how much they contact you. If you're the one who's always calling, stop. Do stuff by yourself. Improve your life. And if they don't call, you know how interested they really were.::

Good luck.

 

[Legend]

I know what you mean man. You have to take them for what they are worth. I remember a time when i got into a serious fight and no one of my friends gave me back up. I'm not sure if they were just scared or just pu$$y's. Hell i was mad but i got over it....people are people. The only person you could truly trust is yourself. Its all about you...you come first...everything else is secondary.

 

[Ricky]

I have some real friends, but half of them are also suffering from real depression. When your friends are depressed, they get angry at your happiness. It is not a good situation.

One of the truest expressions ever is "Misery loves company". If your friends are miserable, they want you to be also.

 

[es_mer8]

Most friends aren't real friends. Most would rat you out to save their own ass. I'm not like that and I try to distance myself away from people that don't feel that way. Remember those friends I had that would spread **** about me being a masturbating loser? I haven't talked to them in weeks. One of my friends talked to one of my old ones and they were wondering where I was at and why I haven't talked to them. A lot of my old friends are going to college with me which will be tough, seeing as how one can almost be considered neighbors in my dorm.

Simply put, I am done with people that feel the need to bring me down. You can bring me down in a joking manner as in just people having fun (meaning we just talk **** with no harmful intention). But no, when it gets to be how it was in HS that ****ed over my chances hard, they're not friends. They were taking advantage of me for their own enjoyment. Then they hang around me just so I can stay on good terms. I have no harsh feelings against them but the next time they start talking ****, I'll jam my fist through their teeth.

You don't need to mess with these ****s either. They are just going to get in your way. With the question at hand I do believe there are some that are like me that just are with friends to have fun and will back you up. I have four friends that I consider as good of friends as I am. We back eachother up and we do a lot of stuff outside of the drinking parties which my old friends had and thats it.

 

[BobbDobbs]

Friends are "expensive." How many people can you really be called on to "back up" in their hour of need? People only keep a few close friends like that. But they will accumulate a lot of lesser friends.

Such friendships don't develop quickly. Just because you've been hanging with some guys doesn't mean they want to underwrite whatever troubles you might get in.

Another thing is popular people -- everybody wants to be their friend. Well, they just can't possibly respond to all possible requests of need from so many friends. They really have to pick and choose just like everybody else. They also only have a few real true friends -- friends they'll go to the line for.

Just keep meeting new people. Eventually you'll meet someone like yourself who hasn't established any quality friendships. You'll have a mutually beneficial relationship.

You don't have to ditch your old friends, just realize they are there for whatever good times you can get out of them -- unless they are just pains in the a**. Then they really aren't worth it, are they.

 

[DJ_Dork]

"If you seek an enemy, ask a friend... THEY KNOW WHERE TO STRIKE"

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I have learned that if you never expect anything from anyone, you are NEVER disappointed.

Stand up and fight your own battles like a man. F*** what your friends say or how they feel about what you do. You can even take it a step further by telling them that too (without going off the hook).

If they are truly your friends, they will still be around to pal around.

 

[chlywly]

I won't write too much this is a very long and complicated topic, but remember "you chose your friends" so you do everything to yourself.

On top of that, your enemies will often be your best friends

Take that how you will.

 

[spw05]

re:

i was in a similiar situation last year with my friends. they made fun of me for their enjoyment and talked **** all the time.

i got real fed up with this and i started hanging out with them less, and when i did see them i would call every single one of them on their sh!t. i commanded respect from them, and they stopped walking over me and now they all listen to what i say and sort of follow me.

i would advise you to do the same, command their respect and dont take their sh!t. if they stop, maybe they are friends but if not just get some better ones.

i totally agree that real friends are Very hard to find, i dont think i have any right now.