Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Friend zone.. with a twist I'd say

Reckoning

Don Juan
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Sooooo.


Bear with me.

This really attractive girl that lives like 150 km away from me, but comes to my town regularly to see family and old friends, got closer with me since New Year's (she's the one that jumped me and asked for my number, after I went a bit C&F on her, not expecting anything whatsoever at the time). She left and hooked up with a friend (that went to a football game in her town) of mine and they tried to have a long-distance relationship but that failed. We kept in touch all the time, flirting and teasing and whatever. Long story short, we hook up one night when she came (but not a relationship), she stays in town for a while, we stay in touch, flirting and everything, yet the next weekend, on top of all my expectations, she hooks up with another guy (that I have a lot of mutual friends with, and that I know, but I never really liked him even before that). I get really drunk the same night (being in love and all), and start crying. She sees it, asks if it's because of her, I say "No, like you would care if it was for you". lol. Please, understand I was drunk over my ass and in love and disappointed like hell.

So I explain to her that I was way too drunk, and I expected something that night, and that she blew me off, and then I made a huge joke out of it all. Kinda felt like pressing the reset button on the relationship. After two weeks or so of keeping in touch, her texting me like mad and all, complaining how she can't find anyone to fall in love with, I actually tell her I'm in love with her (still with high hopes with what could happen). Her response was rather scarce, but she did hint that it's all supposed to stay in the friends department, nothing more. I decide to go to her town and see her, since I was missing her too much. I told her her I was actually doing something else and I only have time right before I leave on the bus. We spent like 2 hours talking and laughing, and then when the conversation came to a stand still I brought up the "my feelings" subject. She laughed it off, said she was drunk the night we hooked up, and that she views me as a friend, and that the relationship would never work considering the distance and how close she is all the time with an ex and all.

And know, still she insists on texting me, even though she isn't supposed to come again for 2 months or so. Every goddamn day I get a text from her saying "what's up? :)) <3" or something along the lines of that.

Now, I am slowly falling out of love with this girl, as it is clear that she doesn't know who or what she wants, and I am learning to treat her like a ***** again (which she is, and which is how I got her attracted to me in the first place, though I probably went to being too nice somewhere along the road of being in love with her), with not being available, not doing her any favors, brushing her off, telling her she's not as important anymore to me, teasing her, always letting her be the one that initiates contact etc.

I'd actually like to be with this girl when she comes again, since my ego was really injured with all the things that happened between the two of us.

Can I have some advice from a third person perspective?

I actually have a lot of male friends that are readily there to "advise" me, but I know most of them want to get in her pants too, so I can't really trust them to be my brains about this. And the female friends just say "she's a *****, she'll keep hurting you".


Wow, I can't believe I actually wrote all this. Argh, screw that girl!
 

DjVita

Don Juan
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Reckoning said:
After two weeks or so of keeping in touch, her texting me like mad and all, complaining how she can't find anyone to fall in love with, I actually tell her I'm in love with her (still with high hopes with what could happen). Her response was rather scarce, but she did hint that it's all supposed to stay in the friends department, nothing more. I decide to go to her town and see her, since I was missing her too much. I told her her I was actually doing something else and I only have time right before I leave on the bus. We spent like 2 hours talking and laughing, and then when the conversation came to a stand still I brought up the "my feelings" subject. She laughed it off, said she was drunk the night we hooked up, and that she views me as a friend, and that the relationship would never work considering the distance and how close she is all the time with an ex and all.
when i read this i made an epic NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
AHHH!!!
you know that "feelings" and "clingyness" is a NO-NO.
the prob is, she got used to you being around, every time she goes, you are always available for her (i know its the distance), so now she sees you as a trained puppy who will show her a good time when she comes...this is why shes still texting you
she has no attraction now, but she still likes your company (girls)

so keep up the good work, of lessening contact, she will be more interested...

next time she comes, DONT meet her, tell her you have stuff to do.
no more "feelings" Reckoning! dont make the mistake again.
 

Reckoning

Don Juan
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So I am supposed to meet her the next time she comes, but not when she wants it, and for a short time only? Should I be trying anything when we meet? It's gonna be a long time until then, and I'm positive I can spark attraction again, but it's gonna take more time if I'm in love with her (which basically equals one huge "Can't say no, must answer the call/text")

There won't be any positive feelings coming from my side by the time she comes again, only the need to use her and leave her.
 

eaglez1177

Master Don Juan
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Reckoning said:
Sooooo.


Bear with me.

This really attractive girl that lives like 150 kmBam. Never ever get hung up or frustrated over a girl who is 150 km (almost 100 miles) away. Thats just stupid and pointless. away from me, but comes to my town regularly to see family and old friends, got closer with me since New Year's (she's the one that jumped me and asked for my number, after I went a bit C&F on her, not expecting anything whatsoever at the time). She left and hooked up with a friend (that went to a football game in her town) of mine and they tried to have a long-distance relationship but that failed. We kept in touch all the time, flirting and teasing and whatever. Long story short, we hook up one night when she came (but not a relationship), she stays in town for a while, we stay in touch, flirting and everything, yet the next weekend, on top of all my expectations, she hooks up with another guy (that I have a lot of mutual friends with, and that I know, but I never really liked him even before that). I get really drunk the same night (being in love and all), and start crying.Wow. Dude, i dont give a fvck how drunk you are, thats fvcking PATHETIC. GIRLS CRY WHEN THEIR DRUNK. NOT GUYS. Man the fvck up and grow a pair. Your not in love just because you hoooked up with her She sees it, asks if it's because of her, I say "No, like you would care if it was for you". lol. Please, understand I was drunk over my ass and in love and disappointed like hell.

So I explain to her that I was way too drunk, and I expected something that night, and that she blew me off, and then I made a huge joke out of it all.Yet another mistake. Take responsibilty for your own actions and be a man. Dont try making a joke out of it and claiming you were too wasted. Kinda felt like pressing the reset button on the relationship.Lol theres no resets when it comes to girls After two weeks or so of keeping in touch, her texting me like mad and all, complaining how she can't find anyone to fall in love with, I actually tell her I'm in love with her (still with high hopes with what could happen).Dear god. I havent read the rest of this yet, but I REALLY hope that you still dont feel this way. Multiple major mistakes on this one. Her response was rather scarce, but she did hint that it's all supposed to stay in the friends department, nothing morenot surprised; you became her emotional tampon. I decide to go to her town and see her, since I was missing her too much.wow. I told her her I was actually doing something else and I only have time right before I leave on the bus. We spent like 2 hours talking and laughing, and then when the conversation came to a stand still I brought up the "my feelings" subject. Another huge mistake. She laughed it off, said she was drunk the night we hooked up, and that she views me as a friend, and that the relationship would never work considering the distance and how close she is all the time with an ex and all.not surprised she said that

And know, still she insists on texting me, even though she isn't supposed to come again for 2 months or so. Every goddamn day I get a text from her saying "what's up? :)) <3" or something along the lines of that.

Now, I am slowly falling out of love with this girl, as it is clear that she doesn't know who or what she wants, and I am learning to treat her like a ***** again (which she is, and which is how I got her attracted to me in the first place, though I probably went to being too nice somewhere along the road of being in love with her), with not being available, not doing her any favors, brushing her off, telling her she's not as important anymore to me, teasing her, always letting her be the one that initiates contact etc.

I'd actually like to be with this girl when she comes again, since my ego was really injured with all the things that happened between the two of us.

Can I have some advice from a third person perspective?

I actually have a lot of male friends that are readily there to "advise" me, but I know most of them want to get in her pants too, so I can't really trust them to be my brains about this. And the female friends just say "she's a *****, she'll keep hurting you".


Wow, I can't believe I actually wrote all this. Argh, screw that girl!
Look man, you made A LOT of MAJOR mistakes. I cant possibly go through and explain all of them cuz it'll take me forever.

Heres the bottom line: MOVE ON! THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT AT ALL. YOU'VE ALREADY FVCKED YOURSELF OVER ON THIS ONE NUMEROUS TIMES. ITS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT, AND CANNOT BE REPAIRED OR FIXED. MOVE ON.

And you need to start from the ground up with everything; start by reading the HS or DJ Bible.
 

Reckoning

Don Juan
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eaglez1177 said:
Look man, you made A LOT of MAJOR mistakes. I cant possibly go through and explain all of them cuz it'll take me forever.

Heres the bottom line: MOVE ON! THIS IS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT AT ALL. YOU'VE ALREADY FVCKED YOURSELF OVER ON THIS ONE NUMEROUS TIMES. ITS NOT GOING TO WORK OUT, AND CANNOT BE REPAIRED OR FIXED. MOVE ON.

And you need to start from the ground up with everything; start by reading the HS or DJ Bible.

I know I made a lot of mistakes with her. And it's funny, cause here I basically have 2 or 3 girls that are totally on my palm. It takes no more than a text message or two to arrange sex. And it's not like they're sluts, they're quite closed minded to other guys. And every time after sex with another girl, I start thinking about that girl I was talking about and how I find it hard to let go.

I am confident that I can make her crazy about me during the time we can spend together and during the time SHE insists on being in touch with me. I can understand your laziness to go over this particular situation with me, but I really could use any advice, since I never really was in this kind of situation. I never really fell in love before now, it was always emotionless from my part, and I found myself really baffled about what to do. I did NOT fall in love the night we hooked up, I fell in love one afternoon we spent together a week after the hook-up.
 

YogurtSlinger

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Reckoning said:
I can understand your laziness to go over this particular situation with me, but I really could use any advice, since I never really was in this kind of situation.
Damn, that is pretty lazy. What a d bag move to not try and help you out.
 

eaglez1177

Master Don Juan
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Reckoning said:
I know I made a lot of mistakes with her. And it's funny, cause here I basically have 2 or 3 girls that are totally on my palm. It takes no more than a text message or two to arrange sex. And it's not like they're sluts, they're quite closed minded to other guys. And every time after sex with another girl, I start thinking about that girl I was talking about and how I find it hard to let go.

I am confident that I can make her crazy about me during the time we can spend together and during the time SHE insists on being in touch with me. I can understand your laziness to go over this particular situation with me, but I really could use any advice, since I never really was in this kind of situation. I never really fell in love before now, it was always emotionless from my part, and I found myself really baffled about what to do. I did NOT fall in love the night we hooked up, I fell in love one afternoon we spent together a week after the hook-up.
Love? Look man, you have no fvckin clue what love is. Ive gone over this numerous times, so i'll provide the link to a post I made regarding teenagers that claim they "love" girls. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1685512&postcount=14

Read that.

I said it in my previous reply, and I'll say it again; Youve screwed up too bad with this one to be able to fix it. Dont even try. You are WAY better off starting out on a clean slate with different girls. And if you cant stop thinkin about her after having sex with those girls, THEN DONT HAVE SEX WITH THEM! Why would you do something that makes you even more crazy over your one-itis? Game new girls and move on. Simple as that.
 

Reckoning

Don Juan
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eaglez1177 said:
Love? Look man, you have no fvckin clue what love is. Ive gone over this numerous times, so i'll provide the link to a post I made regarding teenagers that claim they "love" girls. http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showpost.php?p=1685512&postcount=14

Read that.

I said it in my previous reply, and I'll say it again; Youve screwed up too bad with this one to be able to fix it. Dont even try. You are WAY better off starting out on a clean slate with different girls. And if you cant stop thinkin about her after having sex with those girls, THEN DONT HAVE SEX WITH THEM! Why would you do something that makes you even more crazy over your one-itis? Game new girls and move on. Simple as that.

Fine, it's not love that I feel. But I do care, and I do find it hard to let go, even after everything that has happened, and that's enough for me. I will try with what I have read here, and will post the results.
 

YogurtSlinger

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Yeah, suppress your true feelings and be someone you aren't!

Great advice!
 

Reckoning

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Lol Yogurt, no reason to pick on the guy's advice, I'm sure it's good tempered and aimed towards making me feel better in the long run.

I'll be giving the girl the cold shoulder and let her do all the contact initiating, while applying things I might learn here about turning girl friends into girlfriends, of course, not expecting anything during the whole process, I think that's the best course of action.
 

YogurtSlinger

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I'm sure it is meant well. I just think it's BS that everyone on this site tries so damn hard to be something that they aren't.
 

eaglez1177

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Lol Yogurt I think you're the last one to be saying who does and doesnt give great advice...You make the most stupid and general comments regarding "everyone on this site" and they only apply to a very FEW people.

Smarten up for once and use your brain; I never said anything about telling this guy to be something hes not, all im doing is giving him some advice, trying to point him in the right direction, and helping him identify his mistakes.

And do you seriously think im telling this kid to suppress his "true" feelings? WOW. Hooking up with a girl and then hanging out with her once or twice is the FARTHEST thing from having a "true" feeling of love. I'll advise you to click on the link I provided as well, maybe that will help you realize how much of a fool you just made yourself look like.

@Reckoning: If you have any more questions or need anything else, just shoot me a pm. Im not gonna be coming back to this thread cuz I dont have the time to get into a pointless argument with this idiot here.
 

YogurtSlinger

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According to even your signature line, you suppress who you really are as well. ROTFLMAO

You're a joke. Just because everyone on this forum kisses your ass and acts like they would suck you off just to get a tidbit of advice doesn't mean you are anything special. ;)
 
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