FR+: ****up, bad miscalibration I think.

[Kineti[C]harm]

Hey folks!

So another weekend is coming to an end and history repeated itself for the umptieth time, PARTYYYYY!

I would like some input, especially on the stuff at the end and general thoughts throughout. Oh and btw If my thoughts or whatever is something old I don't give a ****, I'm not saying I invented the ideas I just got them ok?

It was a strange weekend, I felt abit in the twilightzone. Alot of things were SO on but the same time several things were SO OFF. It didn't feel normal, especially not in retrospect.

It was a fun weekend, friday I got invited to a party via two mates of mine and this evening reflected in many ways a discussion sheriff and I had in #PUA the other day. Why/how/what/when regarding the girlfriends of mates. I've always seen the girlfriends of friends or acquiantanes as "off-limits" and for some reasons I have not started thinking about until lately I always end up doing some kind of autopilot that makes them inn many cases get hooked.

It's not active disinterest (because they are off-limits), it's not because you are not running any game or anything. As I've seen it, it's because it makes atleast me totally free. I don't really vibe differently with these girls than I do with girls I'm trying to game except for a couple of things:

- I'm not in anyway looking at them sexually except being normally attracted to them.

- I'm not in anyway leading them to the point of a PU. I think this is one of my normal stickingpoints. This is actually quite wierd because. Whenever I game a chick for a PU it _normally_ requires rapport/comfort, not always but most often to some extent. With my mates GFs for some reason I have no need for that, actually with them I'm normally just the life of the party kind of guy, just joking, having fun, being dirty (smacking asses, pulling their thongs whatever). This is where I'm starting to see so many contradictions between stuff but at the same time why I see many things working for different people.

This leads me to two ideas/thoughts/theories or whatever ->

1: The need for rapport and comfort is built/sustained because of the drive of the PU making the interaction between you and the girl conform to the social boundaries of a guy/girl relationship/seduction path. This seems to often be offset by a goal.

2: Interest/attraction built from neutral interactions where there are playfullness and some seduction but there is a very innocent vibe to it (like vpartyvibing, vibing with mates girlfriends etc) does not build this need for rapport/comfort because it's there "instinctivly" or on some other level. Hard to explain but I guess you all get it.

This is also how I see social-circle hookups (especially ONS) being of a easier nature. It is because generally (atleast for myself) social-conditioning is to a much more extent removed. People vibe on a much more natural and "innocent" level. I'm not saying "don't be sexual" here. Go full sails ahead with kino, innuendos, seductive EC and what not what I'm saying is that when I'm socializing at parties etc I generally lose any thought of seduction in that way. I have NO goals. If I go out to party I might think when I'm listening to music and dressing before going out "TONIGHT I'M GONNA GET ****ING LAID AGAIN, JIIIPPPYY KAAYAEAEYYOOO" but whenever I hit the party *BAAAM* I'm totally in "FUUUUUN" mode.

I'm starting to think that clubs is not the best starting place to learn PU for guys because I see it very clearly from my friends. When at a club most guys atleast that I know that are single, they see the club, they see all the women etc and then BAAAM they start thinking "I MUST HOOKUP" or "I WILL HOOKUP" or anything like that. They start to get stressed by the venue, on a subconscious level they start feeling the need for getting something from some girl. This makes them "desperate" or "too interested" in some kind of close which leads to failure or some UG which again leads to frustration. It's not good at all.

Without the proper mindset or proper company it might **** you up.

I'm sorry if I'm bad at explaining but I hope you get the general idea.

For some reason I still cannot get sometimes when I'm clubbing, or at school or inn any "non-social" venue (eg a party) interactions with girls many times take too much of a seductive pathing too it. What I mean is that I sometimes start to think about the goal, this is normally where I **** up. The second I get a goal in mind with a girl something crashes.

This is why I think that for the future I should work on losing even more of my restrictions when inn "unfamiliar/un-social" situations. It's a very bad term to use "un-social" because really any interaction with another person is social but I hope you get my point here. There is some key here I need to find so I can unlock this in a broader way.

This is exactly what happened friday. I was at a party and I met my mate I hadn't seen in a couple months and he had a really cute nice bodies GF which I found attractive but saw as off-limits. Thus I just was inn my "high energy" mode which is when I have the most fun. Started talking about how my ass would look great in a thong and started showing my ass with my pants pulled up high. complaining about a small **** and just playing around.

It was not long before his GF started giving me lots of glances, EC and what not. She even straight up told me that I lit up the room when I first entered the party and told me "she liked me but respecter my friend/her bf". Honestly I was not surprised, this has repeated itself too many times.

But at the same time, at the same party I ****ed up pretty bad with two girls, both yes and no. Both were attracted, both were initiating kino, convos etc but me again went overboard.

With chick 1 I tried a kissclose too fast and she was in an emotional turmoil that lead me to nothing. Ok that's not bad, she didn't feel it. This is the first chick that just broke up with her BF I've met that did NOT go for a rebound **** so I was surprised.

With chick 2 I overdid it because when one guy was to take a picture of her and me she first hugged me to take the pic but then I in my ****ed up mind grabbed her hair, bent her over and pretended to do her doggy. That did NOT go over well (No big surprise there). Seriously I need to stop doing stupid ****.

Both girls were very cute and friendly and had great bodies.

Oh well now to saturday.

Saturday was a very VERY strange day for me, I had several miscalibrations, several situations I have replayed in my mind that I'm rethinking etc.

I was invited to a housewarmingparty by one of my femalefriends which had just moved there. I entered, greeted her and she introduced me to the people there, I also knew two other girls there so I immediately had the socialproof of three girls, two which lived there. Even so I generally think my bodylanguage and projection is good and I was catching IOIs from several girls. There were about 10 girls there and 4 guys, good ods.

Good thing for me my good femalefriend knew the lowdown on all the girls so she told me who were single and who where not. This is one simple rule of mine. Inn a socialcircle I generally try to stay away from hitched girls because it can create alot of **** if you don't.

As I told Alessandro when talking with him earlier today I have always seen myself as very good at analysing people and reading them to the extent that I could analyse the personality of people from clothing and bodylanguage alone to a certain extent. I've always been good at seeing who is going to hookup or not stuff like that so what happened this evening was very wierd to me. I had actually only one target at the party, she was the only singlegirl I found attractive, a nice brunette with a nice rack! She was also surrounded by 4 guys so I just kept away from her.

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

The thing is, I did not really catch ANY IOIs from her at the party, I think my "radar" must have been really of. I ended spending most of the party talking with a really cute blonde just vibing and getting to know her, I thougth she'd make a great pivot. The strange thing with this girl was that she was doing everything which is positive, active kino, touching my hand etc etc but at the same time she was not going to hookup which I was not trying for either. So now I had a good pivot for clubbing that evening Great!

I had alot of fun vibing at the party, talked with most of the girls (except target cause she was always talking with the guys even though she looked very bored and uninterested there). The girls all thought I looked "dandy" and had this attitude-vibe to me. I took that as a positive sign, in many ways it is. Several girls said that "I have this attitude-shell" but that there is "more too me". This is abit fun, I have no idea why but it makes girls want to "probe me".

Anyways lets just skip all that ****, it's purely mind-masturbating for me to write that **** anyways... Even though I think there are a couple of good things in that:

- Girls are intrigued by "IT"... It being an attitude and by attitude I don't only mean confidence. This point has has been reiterated numerous times on these boards in several ways. The whole thing is that "There is something more". It's intriguing to them, even to guys. I've had a couple guys think I have way too much of an attitude or confidence that have instead of disliking me found it intriguing and ended up trying to find out WHY I have it and they have directly told me this.

This is like layering I guess. You can only see the topmost layer but if you THINK there is a layer underneath or if you SEE a glimpse of there being anything beneath the topmost layer you tend to want to peel that layer of and want to see what is underneath. It's curiousity and intrigue.

Honestly this is not some narcissistic masturbating I'm just maybe bad at explaining things and using my own experience is the easiest.

Anyways back to the events that followed I've been jumping a bit back and forth but oh well.

We were about to leave the party for clubbing and this is were I started interacting with the target that I had caught no IOIs from. I stole her scarf and put it on in a very "dandy" manner, having one end hang down on the back, then throwing it around my neck once and have the shorter end hang down in front.... Add inn that I was wearing a blazer and you'll get it. I was overplaying the "Dandy" thingy. This is something I find fun todo. Whenever a girl calls me something playfull like dandy I either overplay it or over-reject it. Just not overdo it.

Anyways after a while she got her scarf back and we walked and the whole convo with another girl from the party and the blonde I had befriended (The girl I was making my pivot). And she worked great too She was very friendly, hugging me, grabbing my arm and having fun. Now here is the fun thing. My target is vibing with us the whole evening, that is hanging around me and her friend (my pivot) but she NEVER:
- Engages me in a conversation
- Kinos
- Approaches me

But everytime we meet her again (it's easy to lose someone at a club ) she smiles and is happy to see me. So at this point I'm thinking abit, ****it. I'm not gonna go high energy and try to engage her in convo all the time.

I'm at the bar talking with a female friend which is a bartender when this cute little blonde comes up and orders something and I start telling my bartender friend not to serve her cause she's rude etc. Just normal stupid comments, start talking with her. I notice from her accent right away that she is from a very large southern city where alot of my family is from so I instantly go into rapport about that stuff like that and at the same time have fun with the bartender. She says "Aaaw are you hitting on the bartender" and I just answered honestly "She's a friend". I think that's one of few times in a situation like that I have not said anything ****y or funny. Anyways fluff some more until she gets her drink and she walks, gives me EC, Smile and says "If you are interested in dancing I'm over there" and she points to a table in an alcove. Cool I think, I should hit that up later and walk away to find my pivot again since she had tried calling me.

blahblah fastforward to when it closes (I had forgotten about that blonde from the bar, not uncommon after drinking).

I meet pivot and the target from earlier. I'll just call her HBPink since she was wearing a cute pink shirt. I had not really been gaming any girls this evening except the blonde in the bar. I know that's ****ing lazy of me. A fun thing I had done which I often do is when I walk past girls and smile to them and they don't smile I shout "Hey you should smile!" and smile to them, several girls actually grabbed me and kissed my cheek, HOT girls. Just shows how little is needed.

Anyways as I say it's closing and I'm thinking... Ok **** this I'm gonna try this **** on HBTarget now and see. I caveman kino her, as in I grab her, pull her inn, push her away from our friends for some semi-isolation. Push her up against the wall and start talking with her and holding her. She is obviously liking it. I'm thinking of attempting the kiss because it's either on or it's not and I'm tired. I can feel she is uncertain so I don't push for it.

Then pivot re-enters and we talk then these two ****TARDS of guys approach the two girls talking about an afterparty etc. Bleh. When they started talking about an afterparty and where it was etc I just blatantly said loud "We aren't ready for an afterparty yet are we" to the girls (pivot and target). There were two reasons for that comment
- To state it indirectly to the guys that they are with me and that's a package
- To check the IL of HBTarget. If she'd wanted to go then doh.

They rejected the guys, I pulled inn HBTarget and started hugging her and talking with her again and voila, the guys talk with my pivot and start running AMOG **** on me.

"ye we are just waiting for you too but she seems so inlove with that guy over there!" talking about me and target.

I just replied with "Nah man, she hates me. You can take her, take her to the party it'll be GREAT FUN!" and lower the kino to a more open one so she can just go with them.

Voila, my pivot tells them to **** off (nicely though) and my target is with me as it should and both girls started talking about how creepy they were, aaaaww how cute.

Pivot goes away and now starts the ****ing antics with HBTarget. Now I have no problem feeling her skepticism towards me. She is obviously skeptical and unsure. We started talking more and I started to run some comfort on her, talking about how I feel her, how it's been cool meeting her etc and stuff like that. Even blatantly telling her I was interested. She then told me that "she had been trying to get my attention and get with me all evening" and that I should have understod that "since if she wasn't so interested she wouldn't have hung with me and pivot all evening even though we weren't really talking with her". This actually sort of put me in the twilight zone, how could I NOT have picked up on that. Seriously this was something I should have picked up and thought about which any other night I think atleast I would have.

Anyways, some more comfort and rapport between the two of us and alot of tensionbuilding with kino/ec/proximity and kissing commences. She was one of the best kissers I've ever met.

Fastforward and she starts talking about walking home and asks me which way I walk since she knows we live not too far away from eachother and she asks me if I want to walk with her... Doh.

We walk, everything is ON! Her hand is resting on my ass, she's seeking more and more rapport etc. I several times on the way stop to make out with her and feel her body. She tells me directly "It feels so good kissing you" and I replied "Yea it's nice kissing" and she says "No I mean it's really good kissing _YOU_". For every makeout stop we make she escalates kinoplaces. After a while she's rubbing my hardon on the outside of my pants and she moans everytime she feels it, she even reaches down into my pants. I can do the same, rub her pants and what the **** not.

When we get closer to her home and the way starts splitting towards her direction and my direction she asks "Which way I'm walking" and I say I'll check her place out cause I'm curious and I really need to borrow her toilet...

AT her house, inn her room, makeout on the bed, good kino. Now here ASD/LMR kicks inn HARD. I can barely touch her tits, after some back/forth and **** she lets my hand under her bra and all the time she's rubbing my hardon. Stuff like that.

Now I DUMB****INGLY saw three obstacles which I should not have reacted too.

1: She lives with 4 people and the door to her room was open
2: The windowblinds were pulled up so full view inn there
3: Light was on. I only saw that as an obstacle because 1 and 2...

So in my DUMB**** miscalibration I went to close the door, pull down shudders and switch of lights. Can you say, ASD/LMR RAISE?!

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

At this point I could not ****ing remove it, I tried alot of things and started to get tired. She started talking about "how she really did not want to go on" and "that it should feel right for both parties" which I of course knew were ****tests and passed fine but seriously omg escalating I could not get done even though I could rub on top of pants and her hands would do the same.

I honestly should just have pushed through even more.

There are many things I see as being the contributor to that ASD/LMR:
- Fact that I had ignored her just about whole ****ing evening
- My whole attitude (We talkde about how great our chemistry was and that she had not expected to have chemistry with me and was realy surprised) **** like that.
- Bad ASD/LMR handling too
- Too little comfort and I let her BT fall
- Those stupid things I did (door/window/light).

I should have escalated more BEFORE doing the door/window thingy or not even done it at all I think.

Luckily though I'm getting better at self-analysis and seeing better what has been and is working for me and what is not.

So the old stuff as bodylanguage, tonality, attitude etc is all working but sometimes I overdo **** cause I got too much of an attitude and ego.

Energy seems to be a very important key for me.

I'm starting to enjoy rapport more which I've always hated. I'm shifting more towards just being a friendly open vibing guy more. This is a direct side-effect of me trying to dampen my arrogance/******* characteristics and try to be more towards new people at clubs etc as I am towards friends and acquiantances and people at parties (social-circle as explained earlier in this post).

I'm seeing direct results from trying to better my personality. I'm not trying to better myself for the sake of PU either but I feel that the fact that I can be abit way too arrogant etc is something I've needed to fix for some while now and is something I'm working on and this is giving both direct and indirect results in PU.

You know, there is nothing wrong with arrogance in PU, it's quite an intriguing thing for many girls but the important thing here as with most things in life is that there are LIMITS.

Anyways I need to stop writing now, I feel stressed and tension in the back of my head. Writing and sitting alot here after partying for two days is stressfull.

Love you all people!

- Kineti[c]harm

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

So 50 reads and no replies I guess it was so long people fell asleep after half of it

Oh well