FR: uni chick

[ph00k]

HB 7.5

nice looking lady in class, giving me glances now and then, so took the opportunity and # closed last class of semester

1st date: nothing grand, just chocolate talk. tried to keep it short, but ended up @ my place watching a movie because we were standing outside my house waiting for ages.

2nd date: more chocolate, alot more kino, illiciting values this time, chat about family values, etc. met some women i knew from uni, so that was good social proof, but they were relatively fugly so not that great.

3rd date: met @ uni, coffee, got comfy on the couch. alot of kino, alot of eye contact. i talk BS, C+F, play thumb wars with her to get additional kino, and eye contact. she had zips on stupid places on her jacket, so i started unzipping all of them, and got to the chest zips and went ahead anyway. got a giggle.

made up some BS and talked about how eating ferrero rochers layer by layer means you're a skillful kisser to get the thought of kissing in her head.

at the end of the date give her a kiss on the cheek, she pulls away smiling. so later i gave another one no resistance, just huge grin on her face.

4th date:
invited her over to my place to relax. got pretty bloody comfy, had my arms around her waist and we were both on the couch. heavy kino, i was rubbing her waist. on the way out, went for a kiss on the lips, and she looked down with a smile. so i waited for awhile and then planted one on her. she wasn't that responsive.

then as she entered her car i walked back, touched her face and gave her another one. there was more response this time from her, but too bad no tongue, heh.

ANYWAY, thats about it. she hasn't said ANYTHING about whats goin on between us, which makes me wonder.... but i shouldn't be worrying about that at all. insecurities i guess, difficult to get rid of.

any feedback of wtf is goin on in her head? my best guess is she's a bit cautious seeing she just broke up with ex, but i don't want to make any excuses for her lack of behaviour.

she is happy to agree to whenever i ask for a date.

-end-

 

[Kineti[C]harm]

You are slow if a girl hasn't tongued me down within a day 2 I'll fall asleep.

 

[ph00k]

yeah i'm blardi slow, i'll admit that

culture here in aus is not as out there as some places like california, depends on which kinda ppl you hang with as well

either way, would appreciate more feedback haha (yes, i know i'm SLOWW )

 

[2xp]

she hasn't said ANYTHING about whats goin on between us, which makes me wonder.... .

stop asking yourself questions, girls know what you are up to.

in this case, she smile at you when you kino her, she maybe not be that responsive , but girls are trained not to say : "f*ck me"

so just go along, you are doing ok. too much "coffee" and "couch" though, are trying to become her friend ?

 

[MindOverMatter]

You move way too slow. I can understand cultural differences (I shift between two totally different cultures myself), but there is no reason you should wait until 4th date to go for a kiss. You have to be assertive.

Also, if a girl is interested in you, she WILL let you kiss her on the first date. Think of the kiss as a way of seperating good prospects from bad prospects. If a girl doesn't let you kiss her on the first date, she's not interested enough, and it's a sign to move on and find someone else.

Also man, you have too much of a time gap inbetween your first and second kiss. After the first kiss, keep kissing her, keep kinoing her.

 

[Don_Marko]

Dude... you are only a few km's away from entering the LJBF-ville!

 

[ph00k]

thanks for the responses, really appreciate it

i figure she wouldn't have let me kiss her at all if she was interested. but from this cultural point of view it IS pretty quick (yeah yeah i know its slow from where u guys view it). But enough with the excuses on my part.

been trying to keep contact to a minimal except for dates, but its difficult being in class and all. i don't say much to her in class. but when we're out on dates i kino like crazy haha, just because i can get away with it.

don' tworry, i won't let this LJBF'ed, and if i do its because its goin nowhere. time to go make a decisive move.
thanks fellas

 

[JJMcLure]

She just broke up with her ex. She is likely desperate for validation from other guys.

Unfortunately chicks WILL date and kino guys they aren't interested in if they need an ego boost/attention. That's why the kiss test on the first date is great to prevent wasting time.

She resists kissing you (even after 4 dates!). That is a red flag. Kissing really isn't a big deal.

Looks like she has low IL.

 

[ph00k]

i see where you're comin from, i'm not sure if thats the situation but.

she dumped her bf cuz he was major AFC. i know i have been giving her a challenge and she's been biting.

I'd say she has high IL because of all the positive responses - come on a girl won't let you kiss her at all if she is not interested

but i appreciate what you're saying, puts a diff spin on things, but i've been going around with the attitude that its not a matter if i CAN win her over, because i already have to an extent, applying alot of knowledge i have gleamed from this site.

i just need to avoid the temptation to think about things too much etc

 

[Player_Supreme]

If you haven't gotten the panties by the 2nd or 3rd time, she is cooling off.

You should of tried to close each and everytime you had a date...she is probably beginning to think you not much of a man and your falling into the friend zone.

 

[ph00k]

ok just a quick update

i have decided to NEXT this one.

today she came watch me at some competition, where i basically dominated the opposition. anyway after that we were walkin round uni for awhile, and i had the C+F and kino and she was comfortable with me putting my hands on her waist etc.

anyway before i drove us back to her place, i just gave her a kiss, but she fully denied me, smiling, and moved away. but i just blew it off jokingly. she invited me in her house, and we were lookin at pics on her bed, and lots of kino, and teasing, and she kept placing herself really close to me, but i'm not falling for this anymore

obviously if she was more interested she woludn't have denied the kiss

so thanx for your guys advice, i'm going to take the bibles advice and walk away now.

 

[MindOverMatter]

the golden rule is, if you don't sleep with the girl, you didn't next her, she nexted you. you got denied the kiss because you waited way too long for it.

she dumped her bf cuz he was major AFC. i know i have been giving her a challenge and she's been biting.

I hate to break this to you, but being afraid to kiss a girl and taking 4 dates to muster up the courage for it is a very AFC thing to do. For all you know, her ex may have done the same thing, and watching you do it has prolly turned her off. Like I said earlier, the kiss is a good way to measure a girl's interest in you - on the first date. If she is interested in you and you take too long, then she sees you as less of a man and moves you into the friend category, like PS said. You still have that early afc frame of mind that tells you "it's still too soon, if i kiss her now I will offend her and she will walk away". You need to get rid of that mentality and just not give a f@#$.

she invited me in her house, and we were lookin at pics on her bed, and lots of kino, and teasing, and she kept placing herself really close to me, but i'm not falling for this anymore

You should have gone for it anyway, otherwise what was the point of you going to her place.

 

[Don_Marko]

*sigh* god.......

You know the point JUST BEFORE she's about to scream and call the cops on you? Well that's the point where you stop pushing, and here you are crying about being denied ONE KISS.

 

[ph00k]

update: FR: uni chick

hey guys, just an update on this situation

after being denied the kiss, i just took the advice of some of the bible and walked away. still said hi to her in class etc, but i sat away from her, didn't bother calling her up to go to uni together etc.

Anyway, she didn't seem to do anything, i gave her a call thursday, and the convo went:

ph00k: hey, any plans this friday night?
unichick: no plans, i don't think i'm busy
ph00k: well you are now
unichick: you serious?
ph00k: heh, cya 8.30 tomorrow, etc gtg

Watched a movie at my place, during which i did not initiate any physical contact, she started leaning on me etc. After the movie, some C + F and an occasional neg hit or two (unichick: omg you're so mean how do i put up with u), we went to my bedroom and started lookin at some photos, fluff talk etc.

then after awhile i basically confronted her about the situation, and it all came out of HER. She was incredibly interested, and admitted being really cut that i had walked away for a week. she was so cut that she didn't bother going to uni one day, and her mum actually went up to talk to her about me blah blah blah. All these little things came up as well, like how she was leaning on me earlier and she wanted me to put my arms around her. There were a few other little things, like she started to get really cuddly, and showing quite a bit of affection, started drawing a love heart on my thigh with her fingers, telling me how she had asked pretty much all her friends about me and what to do etc, and how happy she was when i told her we were spending friday nite together.

i was shocked, cuz i always assumed women wouldn't show their cards this easily -- and they never have in the past to me (only after i had worked on them for awhile). i knew she was interested --- but i thought she was just flaking when denying me a kiss a few weeks ago. turns out, being a conservative girl, she wouldn't kiss guys who didn't tell her how they felt about her or who weren't her bf. Secondly, she thought i had lost all interest, and she admitted that as extremely interested as she was ---- she wouldn't have done anything about it. (its a culture thing i suppose... some chicks place more emphasis on the male's role in an r'ship than others). Luckily for her (and me), i decided to just give it one more go, because i had a gut feeling something was up with this woman.

Her problem was that i hadn't said anything, but done all these things like kissing her and kino'ing her up heaps.

Thing is, i was careful with how i talked to her, i didn't tell her that i liked her or reveal my feelings (see: forum advice on avoiding LJBF, great post by Mr. Fingers: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43174). I just told her, i was cool with how things are panning out between me and her, and wouldn't mind seeing where things headed.

needless to say, i got my fairshare of action that night. i guess the point i'm trying to make here, is that ALOT of the tactics and frame of mind thinking i employed (through DJ reading), kino, C+F, especially walking away DO WORK, but the more arbitrary rules such as moving on as soon as she denies you a kiss tend to be used very strictly as if they are an exact science by alot of people here. I'm not going to argue with them, because they will likely have more experience with a wide variety of women as i have had; but in practice i think the DJ rules work best when applied liberally and not as if its an exact science.

(although i guess there are some merits to treat it as as a science and detatch yourself from it --> if women and the rules of engagement on this site are treated like a science, it just becomes a process of NEXT NEXT and u have more women than you can handle, which is what the master DJ's and PUA guys do on this site (JT, krassus, etc)

All the same, thanks for your advice guys. Some of it wasn't on the money, and some of it was. Walking away for a week or so made her realise her feelings for me i suppose, or whatever.

Now i'm in something with this woman and i have no idea wtf to do in a proper r'ship, because i have just been playing with women for the last 2 years I don't plan on AFCing at all, but I can't be mean --- i figure just be a man. Any advice on keeping her interested without being too mean a bastard?