FR: Two women, Two dates

[izza]

Well, I went on two dates in the past two days.

Girl One: I'm just not attracted to this girl. She was looking pretty hot yesterday, but I dunno, there's something weird or awkward. I'm going to friend zone (the first cute girl of my life!) I mean, my standards are too high, but I'm not attracted to her.

We ended up writing poetry with crayons and dropping it in random people's mailboxes (well, just outside the mailbox, since putting inside would be a federal crime). It was a lot of fun, had some coffee some nice conversation. But just no. I hope she has hot friends. Damn, why didn't I go out with her and her friends?

Girl Two: Man, I'm attracted to this chick, but she's so odd, and rigid. That's not to say I don't like her personality, I find her fascinating. She's also pretty cute (blue eyes, blonde hair, a bit taller than me but I don't like that). The bigger problem is, I know her sister, and I was sorta friends with her sister's friend. Both the sister and her friend think this girl is SOOOOOOOOOOOO weird. Honestly, and listen to what a wimp I am, I just going to feel embarrassed if I ever even kiss her, because they will look at me with total disgust and wonder if I'm an idiot.

I'm going to LJBF this chick too out of pure embarrassment! Oh man, I'm such an idiot. It doesn't make any logical sense that I should care, but I do! I never realized that I desire a women the way guys desire an attractive car... sigh, I'm such an idiot.

So I met a brother of hers today and we all went for a walk together. It was really nice, and a gorgeous day. It's over with this one though.

What if I could find a perfect 10, but she was only a perfect 10 in my eyes. To everyone else she were a fat, ugly, skanky, biatch? It sounds stupid, but I am so sensitive to what other people think, and since I apparently desire women as objects to show off to friends, I don't think I would take a perfect 10 in that situation.

Man, that's stupid.

Girl 3: I emailed her a while ago. She's like a 6, but a great personality. I have a friend who has slept with around 40 women. He says what matters to him isn't looks but a girl's "niceness." He's so right, a nice girl is a priceless thing. So today, she said, "sorry I haven't emailed you back. I've been really busy with blah blah building a set." I tried to play it off, I said "that's cool. Don't worry about it." What do you think, guys? Usually when I try to play it off, it fails miserably. It sounds really insincere, they suspect that I'm hurt or mad, which I suppose I am. I mean, not to use a cliché but how many seconds does it take to write an email?! Sigh, when I just say, "oh, that's really a shame" (aka, something like how I actually feel) 1.) I'm not giving her a green light to do whatever she wants 2.) I'm not failing her shyt test 3.) It's more honest.

I'm in orchestra with this girl - I HATE BEING SO VISIBLE! I am such a chump, but seriously, I abhor the thought of picking up a girl in a big group, and then becoming "the couple" of the group. Or even of thousands of rumors floating around, preventing me from having sex with anybody else in the ensemble! I hate that sh!t!! As usual, I exaggerate out of proportion, and I'm worrying about how I feel after I do what I want, rather than doing what I want.

Siiiggggh, I'm frustrated guys. If I could just approaching women with Shezz's "what's the time" bit I wouldn't even care about these chicks. I would pull off my second cold approach ever, that wasn't totally filled with tricks and ruses.

Ok, there's another rambling, incoherent post for you. If you read this far, you are a saint. Thank you,

Izza

 

[Docs]

Your standards suck. Don't LJBF girl 1 just because, she should have as much of a chance as the others (plus, she's cute, comeon).

Date more girls or off-and-on date the ones you have

 

[izza]

Your standards suck. Don't LJBF girl 1 just because, she should have as much of a chance as the others (plus, she's cute, comeon).

Date more girls or off-and-on date the ones you have

LOL

I'm just not attracted to her. No point in pursuing.

Love, relationships, dating -- whatever your looking for right now is made so damn hard by the easy to judge, and ever so jealous public eye, most of the population are DONT DOERS as opposed to the mantra of this website and the community of DOERS, it dosnt matter if your girl is a 10 or a 1, it dosnt matter if shes fat or thin, it dosnt matter! What matters is how you feel when your together, and how you fit together, enjoying each others presence.

That's deep stuff man, I'm really enjoying it. F*cking DONT DOERS. Man I've been stupid enough to listen to these fools my entire life. All they do is judge people they're jealous of... I know because I used to be among the best of the DONT DOERS.

Of course, we all want the best, we all want the trophy girl, and to some extent we all take the occasional glances over our shoulder to see what others think. But in all honesty, who cares? Me? No.

Sad to say, I'm stupid enough to care!

You go for the things that make YOU happy, eating a chocolate cake won't make your neighbour happy

Great metaphor.

Get out there, give yourself a small, attainable list of qualities you want in a woman out set out to find them, i've told you guys thousands of times, nothing bad can come from approaching women you find attractive, it's natures way, you are a man, they are a woman. Approach!

It dosn't matter what you say, just make sure you say it - get in set and show what a great person you are, exhibit your sexual side and go after what you want, the filtering process starts now, don't take notice of anyone else, you are the one with the foot on the gas, apply as needs be - and take what you TRULY want...

...Not what society deems appropriate.

Sarge On...

My number 1 goal is to approach women. I tell you, I am having to fight tooth and nail, with everything I have to find the motivation to do this.

 

[izza]

So last week girl 1 called me up and asked me to go on a bike ride in the early afternoon.

Oh $hit I said... she wants me. Damn damn damn.

This is the worst. Objectively she is just over my dating minimum (I date any girl above my minimum of attractiveness, aka prettiness) but she's odd and the family situation is so bizarre. I prefer dating women I know nothing about who know nobody I know. I fear wagging tongues that much!

Anyway, we were biking around, and I was so depressed because she's a great girl, but just no, we have to be friends.

I realized at one point that she has a lot of difficulty getting dates because she's so odd. And I just felt terrible. I was interested in her, I didn't really care that much about her oddness. And I just felt so bad: I wasn't dating her because she wouldn't be, what, a good trophy? Because of what people would say? Out of cowardice because I'm afraid to make a move on her? Because she's religiously jewish? I realized that I am an extremely vain and superficial person, looking only for vain and superficial things. I wanted to cry right there on the spot at the image I saw of myself.

The worst was that she started telling me about "stories of unappreciated women" her friend had written. It was a collection of poems about history's women that were appreciated too late. And I just burst out laughing. The irony was so perfect it was as if God given. That's exactly what's going to happen. I'm going to be a shallow idiot and LJBF her, and then later on I'm going to realize that she was amazing and that I did nothing.

We stopped for some coffee and I even felt embarrassed to be seen with her. Oh what will the clerks think that know her think of me?! That is all I could think about!

The bigger deeper irony to this whole story is really what kills me though. As we were going around, I realized how vanitously I desired people to be impressed by me. I connected this feeling to all the fears I have of approaching women, how difficult I find it, and realized that it is one and the same fear.

For years, I had deriding people who approached women as self-centered, arrogant, greedy people. Now I've begun to realize that I am, in fact, TOO SELF-CENTERED, ARROGANT, AND GREEDY to approach women! I am so vanitous, that I have an enormous amount of trouble taking any kind of social risk!

The worst is that I realize how absurd clinging to my arrogance is, and yet a large part of me wants nothing more than to cling to my arrogance. I want to change, but feel powerless. I'm frustrated as hell. I don't REALLY want to change. I REALLY want to still be arrogant as hell.

Oh F*CK!

 

[JLW]

It seems like you're dating girls only because you want to impress other people. Not for your own pleasure/fun.

Please don't take offense to this, but do you think there's maybe a possibility that you're gay? I don't mean that in an offensive way, but I mean, it seems like the only reason you're dating these girls is for status.

Just a thought. I wasn't saying that as a way of making fun of you. It's okay to be homosexual, but not once have you mentioned that you wanted a girl cuz you thought she was hot. You only mentioned that you were afraid of dating "unusual" or "weird" girls because of what other people would think.

 

[izza]

It seems like you're dating girls only because you want to impress other people. Not for your own pleasure/fun.

Please don't take offense to this, but do you think there's maybe a possibility that you're gay? I don't mean that in an offensive way, but I mean, it seems like the only reason you're dating these girls is for status.

Just a thought. I wasn't saying that as a way of making fun of you. It's okay to be homosexual, but not once have you mentioned that you wanted a girl cuz you thought she was hot. You only mentioned that you were afraid of dating "unusual" or "weird" girls because of what other people would think.

LOL

Well since I've aired all my other dirty laundry on this board. A lot of sexual psychologists will say that all people are some combination of homosexual and heterosexual. How much varies from person to person, but nobody is completely one or completely the other.

I don't think I'm gay, though. I just think I need to LJBF these women and find some I'm more attracted to.

My ex, she was hot. Pretty much every chick in these 10 FR's I wrote in France were gorgeous... I was pulling hot women in my direction like never before. It was amazing.

Maybe you also read my other post about being a prude. That one makes it sound like I must be gay! I've never felt like a really strong innate desire to fvck... although my sex drive is normal. To be honest, I'm not too worried about it.

Why should I be insulted?