FR: Finally (Kind of long)

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

I went to a bar last night. I wasn't even sure if I was going to go out or night, but I decided to, and it turned out to be a really fun night. Not to mention I got a major confidence boost.

I went to the bar just to drink and have a little fun--didn't really plan on approaching anyone, or even attempting to get a number. I met the bartender at this place a couple of weeks ago, and when I went in, she was there. We talked for a little bit, and then I noticed the baseball game was on, so I decided to watch the end of it. Angels beat the White Sox by the way.

Now, this girl came up and ordered her drink, and I simply ask, "How are you doing tonight?" She answered, and I went back to watching the game. About 45 minutes later or so--probably about 10 minutes after the game, she comes back down and starts talking to this guy she knows--there is not interest in them--they are just friends, and even if there was, it wouldn't have stopped what I'm about to say.

She was standing up talking to us, and there was an empty chair in the middle, and I say, "Have a seat." She does.

She and her friend begin talking and I'm talking with the bartender. After a while, the HB and the other guy get quiet, and the bartender goes to get someone's order.

Here's the convo as best I can remember it:

ME: What's your name (Yeah, it took me a bit to get that out)
HB: (Her name), what's yours?
ME: TNGIG, good to meet you.
HB: You too.
HB: Are you a student here (I live in a college town)
ME: Not yet.
HB: Blah Blah
I missed a lot of that conversation because I just simply can't remember--but she talked more than I did, so I know I did that part right--it's just kind of hard to remember now. Of course, the fact that a drank more than I wanted may play a factor into this.
That's about all I can remember up to this point--I remember the end of the convo distinctly, though.

ME: I have to get going in a few minutes, so any chance I could get your phone number?
HB: I still live with my parents, so it's kinda hard (little hesitation after that, but), but I could get yours though.
ME: (What I'm about to say was against my better judgement, but) I guess that would be okay, and she gives me a pen and paper to write my number down on, so I do.

I started this conversation with absolutely no signs of interest from her, and it escalated to the point where I felt comfortable asking her for her number. When she first sat down, her back was to me, and then I just start talking to her, and as we talk, her body language gives mixed signals. Virtually no eye contact--there was some, but it may have just been politeness--her back was no longer to me--she was leaning so as to hear what I was saying.

I don't really expect her to call, but if she does, I'll have to have a plan ready to go to ask her out (just on a date), and I'm actually pretty good at coming up with plans on the fly.

Bottom line: This was a major confidence booster for me, especially because I wasn't planning on talking to anyone, and then I just reached down and started talking to a complete stranger, and it was good practice too.

One quick question, too: In this particular situation, what would have been the best way to apply kino? I didn't apply any because I wasn't real sure how to go about it. The palm-reading thing doesn't really suit me, so don't go there--I know there are other ways, I'm just not sure what they are. Thanks.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

I just remembered something:

After she ordered her last beer, and had payed, she was still digging through her purse, and so I say, "Still digging, huh?" That was all I could come up with that instant--any other things I could have used like that? She did explain why she was still digging (always leave a tip, blah blah)

Any ideas on that comment, or was it good, bad?

 

[lebRambo]

there are no 'bad' field reports, cause you can learn heaps of stuff from them.

first thing that sticks out: getting the number should not be a question! You say "i gotta get going, but give me your number and we'll hang out" or something like that. you TELL her to give you her number, so attention is not drawn to the fact that you ASKED.

besides that, nicely done.

 

[spider_007]

good stuff. next time try to be more "SMOOTH"

ya' know what i meen?

 

[Stranger]

only advice i can offer is not to invest too much into her yet. its great that u made the approach, follow up on it but do not expect too much. i think the fact u demonstrated social proof (talking with the bar girl) fast forwarded her comfort levels. don't focus on this one girl though, keep approaching.

btw, i'd keep talking to that bar girl, it's social gold.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

About the number thing: I have read that many times, and I almost did say, "What's your number?" but changed my mind at the last minute--not real sure why.

spider: I'm not quite sure what you mean by that--a little elaboration please.

Shezzler: I've seen many of your posts--from what I can see, nothing but good stuff. And yes, this was my ACTUAL first approach (sort of). Thanks for the advice.

Stranger: I'm not really even expecting this girl to call--if she does, great, if she doesn't, who cares? I intend to keep talking to the girl behind the bar. She has given her number to a couple of regulars, and I intend to get it next time I go in. I'm not interested in anything more with her than a friendship, and I believe she knows that. I wasn't even considering that me talking to her was social proof, thanks for that little note.

All in all, I've learned to not be scared to talk to anyone. During the game, after I had asked how she was doing tonight--I just started talking to anyone that was waiting to get something to drink, and met loads of people--guys and girls, even a couple. This was my first step, and the one I was the most afraid to take.

Thanks guys, for the feedback.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

I would have busted on her and said something like "Yeah, I wouldn't want to call you when you're in your jammies and having bedtime stories read to you."

Then "no really, you're not allowed to have a life?"

then go from there... but good stuff mate it's really nice to get out there and do stuff as opposed to just questioning the material because it doesn't make you an instant DJ.