For all the SHY guys out there...

Discussion in 'Don Juan Tips' started by Deagleclaw, Jul 4, 2001.

  1. Deagleclaw

    Deagleclaw Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Messages:
    661
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Calgary, AB, Canada
    Age:
    30
    Hey boys,

    If you're reading this, you are likely a "Shy Guy". Meaning you find yourself retreating and not speaking around women. You don't make advances toward women. You sit around on a Saturday night playing video games, or if you do go to a club you would have better spent your time playing video games. Okay, well this one's for you guys. I'm GIVING you the answer you need. I'm not gonna hold your hand on this one. You either do these things, or you ain't gonna get any woman worth the time of day. C'mon, who do you wanna be. Ferris Buller, or his loser friend Cameron?


    1. STOP F*CKIN' WHINING.
    Only YOU can overcome your own shyness. You're being a f*ckin' p*ssy. There is a miracle cure for overcoming shyness. It's called growing up. You are the center of your own universe.

    2. END THE "NICE GUY" PROBLEM FIRST
    Being shy isn't your f*ckin' problem to begin with. Fact of the matter is, you're a "Nice Guy" and you're not gonna get any with that hangin over your head. It's time to grow up. Be a f*ckin' man. You've got your head full of romantic ideas about love. Newsflash, you're a guy! READ EVERY ARTICLE YOU CAN ON THIS SITE ABOUT NICE GUYS! STOP BEING "THAT GUY"

    3. ACTION
    You're too f*ckin' scared that you're going to say or do something that will offend the girl you like. WHO CARES? When you want something, you have to go out and get it. It's not going to magically fall in your lap. What you've been doing up until now OBVIOUSLY does NOT WORK. You've got to present yourself as a MAN, and ACT LIKE ONE!

    4. FEELINGS
    Women want a MAN. You know a MAN's MAN. A Steve McQueen or a James Bond. MEN have 3 Feelings... HAPPY, MAD, & DON'T GIVE A F*CK. P*ssies have feelings like melancholy, existentialism, depression, romantic feelings. Women don't want a p*ssy boyfriend, they want a man. Nothing turns a woman off quite like an effeminate guy like you.

    5. RESEARCH
    Do your homework, find out what dating and mating is all about. You've been raised with a woman's viewpoint about relationships. It's time you f*ckin' woke up. Watch "Desmond Moriss' The Human Animal" for the inside track on dating and mating. Find out what women are looking for. It's a biological drive for women to find a MAN.

    6. YOU'RE A GUY
    Realize that! Live it! Men are not intimidated by women? Why should we be? We're Bigger, Stronger, More Successful, And BETTER LOOKING. Why else do you think women wear make-up and perfume... cuz they're ugly and they stink. You're letting a WOMAN intimidate you? How does THAT make you feel. You're a GUY! YOU dictate the terms of your relationship to a woman. Whether you're going to be her friend, or lover. If you want to be her lover, don't settle for friend, either you go out or you move on.

    7. STOP POSTING AND START SEARCHING
    There are hundreds of articles on this site on this topic alone. Look em up and you'll find your answers there.


    Deagleclaw out


    ------------------
    No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)
     
  2. CHALENGE GUY

    CHALENGE GUY Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 5, 2001
    Messages:
    312
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    CANADA
    Amen to that.

    I wish every newbe would read this post before posting anything.

    So true i'm laughing my a$$ off....
     
  3. Raingem

    Raingem Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2001
    Messages:
    400
    Likes Received:
    0
    edited

    [This message has been edited by Raingem (edited 08-26-2001).]
     
  4. FGarcia1

    FGarcia1 Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2000
    Messages:
    294
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Coast CA USA
    Deagleclaw, your advice is almost always really helpful, and it's dead-on target. When you say something, it's because it's true.

    But the problem I have with this post is that what you're basically doing is spewing slogans and curse words at us, and expecting us to magically change. This isn't the first time this has been done on this board, so it's not like you're the only one. But every time I see one of these it has no effect whatsoever (on me, anyway, maybe you charge some other guys emotionally, and that's great).

    I think it's commendable (if what you're trying to do is change lives, rather than to try and gain status in the forum by yelling), but somehow it lacks real knowledge to back it up. When I figure out how to really change, I'll come back and let you know.

    But now, I want to play Sonic Adventure. Hahaha...
     
  5. Deagleclaw

    Deagleclaw Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Messages:
    661
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Calgary, AB, Canada
    Age:
    30
    Hey FGarcia1,

    I hear what you're saying. I hope you can glean the gist of what I'm saying behind the language. That's the way I talk and the way I write. I use the word f*ck as an adjective. I'm abrasive. I'm to the point. I am not a coddler. I know just how hard it is to sink a message in when you've been in "Nice Guy" syndrome your whole life. And you do need someone RAMMING it down your throat. I could be cool and collected as I am now, although I've had to delete half this paragraph. But the meaning would be lost for the message.

    The point I'm trying to make is... All it takes to go from being a Shy Nice Guy into a MAN is... da da da da, to stop being so androgynous. It's a change in the way you think.

    Nice Guy thinks: When I want to date a woman, sex is the last thing on my mind.

    Real Man thinks: When I want to date a woman, what the hell am I dating her for, friendship??? No I want to f*ck her.

    Woman thinks: Nice Guy is too weak, I'll never sleep with him. Real Man will rock my world... I'm getting lucky tonight!

    And that's it..
    Deagleclaw out

    ------------------
    No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)
     
  6. Dancer

    Dancer Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 25, 2000
    Messages:
    195
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Deagleclaw, you have several excellent points.

    However, I'd beg to differ on the specifics of many of your statements. I'll go step by step:

    #1. STOP F*CKING WHINING!
    amen, brother. You are passing good info there.

    #2. END THE NICE GUY PROBLEM FIRST!
    another amen, and raised by a hallelujah.

    #3.ACTION
    I completely agree.

    #4. FEELINGS
    Now here's where you've wandered into the realm of downright bull$hit. I'm a mature man, but I am far more subtle and varied than just MAD, HAPPY, and DON'T GIVE A F*CK. Personally, I think that'd make for a pretty damned shallow person; life would be flat and un-tasty if I was restricted to the above.
    Now just think for a minute. Why are you pursuing women? For a LTR or just a roll in the hay? that kind of attitude is fine for a one-night stand, but it will torpedo any kind of committed relationship between a man and a woman. Women are people too! They accord respect as people and even love when they're worth it, and all the infinitely differring emotions in between.
    Otherwise they'd be no fun.
    MAD, HAPPY and DON'T GIVE A F*CK? not.

    #5. RESEARCH
    Again, I agree.

    #6. YOU'RE A GUY!
    Okay, I agree with the basic concept. Be a man, not a boy; don't let women control you or dictate who you're going to be.
    The flip side of that is: if you're a sensitive, nice, caring person, you don't have to turn into a f*cking jerk just to attract more women. You can turn into a mature, manly sensitive caring person, but if you turned into an uncaring a$$hole just for more success with women, then you're just as pathetic as the nerdy guy who stays at home wanking himself to death.
    You've changed for a woman, and not in positive way. Big mistake. Be who you are, just be manly and mature about it.

    Anyway, I like you, Deagleclaw. You post good basic starting-out info. I just differ on some of the applied specifics..
    As I say, different strokes for different folks!
    Happy Don Juanning.

    *S
     
  7. syncmaster

    syncmaster Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2001
    Messages:
    2,165
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Ottawa,Ontario, Canada
    Age:
    21
    LMAO, that was amazingly good. And really funny for people who know what you're talking about and who don't have that problem.
    That was excellent.
    More power to you.
     
  8. Neophyte

    Neophyte Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 14, 2001
    Messages:
    1,329
    Likes Received:
    0
    Fantastic reading lecture, although shyness is almost far behind.

    Thanks!

    Cya,
    Neo

    [This message has been edited by Neophyte (edited 07-08-2001).]
     
  9. Pierre94

    Pierre94 Don Juan

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2001
    Messages:
    93
    Likes Received:
    0
    Amen to you Dancer, I like what you had to say!! i am not going to turn into an ******* just to get more chicks, that is not what they taught me at home or at church!!!
     
  10. Don Stefano

    Don Stefano Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 7, 2001
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New York, NY
    i like this... it basically expands on my signature.

    ------------------
    Grow some balls
    -SKP
     

    Confidence Is Everything When It Comes to Women!

    Without confidence, meeting women will always be hard. Talking to women will always be hard. Dating and relationships with women will always be hard.

    But with confidence, meeting women, talking to women, dating and relationships with women become easy, fun, and enjoyable.

    If you are ready to develop powerful, unshakable confidence — not just with women but in everything you do — watch this free video from legendary pickup artist Eric Von Sydow.

    Develop Massive Confidence with Women - Watch Video!

  11. Iskandar Reza

    Iskandar Reza Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2001
    Messages:
    156
    Likes Received:
    0
    NO, I love posting. Doesn't matter where. Forums are more fun than IRC.
     
  12. FGarcia1

    FGarcia1 Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2000
    Messages:
    294
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Coast CA USA
    Okay, better. I appreciate your taking the time to explain some more. I agree whole-heartedly with the idea that men need to stop being effeminate in hopes that it will attract women. Plus, the idea that men shouldn't even be thinking too hard about the girl they're trying to get with is also the right idea. So, that's good. Thanks.

    As for the "Three emotions" rule, there is a fourth: "Hafta take a leak or a load."

    Well, okay, so it is highly overgeneralized and, if this were coming from a woman this would be more appropriately be called: sexist (ooh, people don't like this word... I can feel it). Maybe that's what Dancer's also trying to say, although he's made a pretty good point in that we should allow ourselves more freedom to have other emotions. Hey, if I find out I had the winning Lottery ticket and I accidentally wipe my ass with it, I wouldn't be so much pissed as I would be manically depressed. But anyhow, in the most general sense of things, yeah, Deagleclaw's got the right attitude.

    Ultimately, though, Deagleclaw, there is one more thing that's wrong. Um... all this advice isn't for the SHY Nice Guy. The SHY Nice Guy can't even begin to talk to women in the first place, let alone avoid talking like dorks in front of them; they never get a chance!

    If you can elaborate on how to overcome shyness, or at least point the shy guys in the direction to do so, then you'll earn full props for this post. Even though it's pretty universal that this is really good material. If not for all the cussing, it should go in the "Hall of Fame."

    Personally I think I'll just make it a point to talk to as many people as I can throughout my day, to warm myself up to being able to start conversations with people in general. Then, and only then, can I put this advice to use.

    Strange, though, how if a girl starts the conversation, I have no problem keeping it going, or starting subsequent conversations. It's just that when I have or want to take the initiative, it's just HARD. Well, hopefully you've got more "f*ck"s for this problem, too? Hahaha...

    Anyway, keep up the good work, and the attitude. It must be getting you somewhere.
     
  13. hydroponically inclined

    hydroponically inclined Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 18, 2001
    Messages:
    382
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
    This is a very good post.

    Hats off to deagle!
     
  14. Man Of Adventure

    Man Of Adventure Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 21, 2001
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Illinois USA
    Age:
    20
    This will help support my way of behaving and acting.Thanx..I needed a boost from something good and this is what was needed. [​IMG]
     
  15. SoSuave.com

    SoSuave.com Administrator

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2000
    Messages:
    3,256
    Likes Received:
    30
    Location:
    Margaritaville
    Moving to Tips forum.
     
  16. dorian_gray-from.usa

    dorian_gray-from.usa Senior Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2000
    Messages:
    254
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is a good and bad post.

    Good for the kick in the seat of the pants - thanks..we all need it sometimes...


    ************However....****************


    All personal growth does not happen overnight, I've grown over the past one year
    watching and reading this site.

    Your dig at existentialism was off. IT is a way to review/understand
    how people act - or members of the opposite
    sex, as it is.

    The more you know, the better you can size up
    some skirt -

    Is she worth my time and energy?

    Will she be like the Willy Dixon quote,

    "The worst day in your life is when your baby
    leaves you, and you know what's worse??

    That's the day your your baby comes back!!" [​IMG]

    OR will she be solid, as a person??

    That's what you find out by asking/planning for her (in person) dates.

    The point is if you are to have love in your
    life -- one has to be together, as a person. AND circulate around positive people.

    Remember not to be hard on yourself if it all does not happen in one day.
    IT TOOK YOUR FOR YOU YEARS TO BECOME WHO YOU ARE -
    AND WITH YOUR THOUGHTFUL ACTION - THINGS WILL GET BETTER!

    1,2,3

    [​IMG]



    [This message has been edited by dorian_gray-from.usa (edited 07-05-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by dorian_gray-from.usa (edited 07-05-2001).]

    [This message has been edited by dorian_gray-from.usa (edited 07-05-2001).]
     
  17. Deagleclaw

    Deagleclaw Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2001
    Messages:
    661
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Calgary, AB, Canada
    Age:
    30
    Greetings,

    Okay, maybe I didn't word it correctly. For Dancer. You are allowed to have emotions, you're only human. But the emotions that you display in front of women, only those three. 99% of a woman's attraction to you is perception.

    There are only 3 times you're allowed to cry in front of a woman. 1) the day you are married... she'll think it's happiness, your friends'll think it's because you're now locked for good, so it's a win win. 2) When your children are born. It is a time to be proud and joyous. 3) A loved one dies. Any chick who thinks you're weak for crying at the death of a loved one deserves a beating.

    You can have a turmoil of emotions going through you, but if you display only those three, you earn more respect than you'll ever know. Have you ever seen James Bond cry?

    I'll clarify point 6 here. I'm not talking about relationships here. If you don't care about a woman in an LTR, there's something wrong with the relationship. This is for the "SHYGUY" Who can't find the courage to talk to a total stranger. This is for the guy who is totally intimidated by a 5'4, 115 lb girl because his feelings might get hurt. Wa Wa Wa. See point 1. The problem with being shy is that you're scared of being hurt. The only cure for that, is that if you legitimately don't care, you can't be hurt. If you do care and are hurt because you were rejected by one woman, and refuse to try again on that basis, you really haven't learned anything out of life.

    For FGarcia1, this is a post for shy guys. See point's 1, and 3. There's where the problem lies. See, the problem is, shy guys wallow in self pity and never actually DO anything. They try, and when they fail they use it as an example of why they remain shy, rather than learning from it and trying again.

    There is only one cure for shyness and that's to realize that you are AFRAID and once you realize that what you're AFRAID of is so insignificant and has absolutely no real substance... well, you'll lose the shyness.

    Never show fear.
    Deagleclaw out




    ------------------
    No matter what comes, walk like a man. - Al Lan Mandragoran (Wheel of Time)
     
    Gan likes this.
  18. Man Of Adventure

    Man Of Adventure Master Don Juan

    Joined:
    May 21, 2001
    Messages:
    586
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Illinois USA
    Age:
    20
    If I only didnt realize how truely good this post is.From now on..I plan to only be feeling happy mad or dont give a ****.It seems to solve. [​IMG]Good post.

    ------------------
    Whats this Man going to do now???Lets just find out. - Man Of Adventure
     
  19. 318 Most Hated

    318 Most Hated Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2002
    Messages:
    190
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Tha Southside
    Age:
    22
    that was some real **** right there....seriously....

    ------------------
    The Most Hated in Louisiana and the whole dirty south........
     
  20. the graphics guy

    the graphics guy Don Juan

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2002
    Messages:
    185
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    westport CT
    We may differ on detail and fine points, but deagleclaw is solid to the bone on many important topics. "Show no fear" was a good way to sum it up.

    Life for me improved when I threw fear and caution ouot the window. Let me tell you, there is nothing headier than plowing ahead with something that "wiser" heads just "know" you can't do. Like how does a very ordinary-looking middle-aged man completely rock the world of a 23-y.o. HB in just one night? Simply by being a man, enjoying the moment, going for the gold, and not letting nagging doubt get in the way. Oh yeas, and at the same time without turning into an @$$h01e or a boor (commonly called the "jerk"). It can be done, boys!

    ------------------
    Bro's rule, grrrls drool!
     

Share This Page