first date at the beach, and I'm a bit self-conscious

[jasonrivera]

My buds are having an evening bonfire at the beach a week from now, and I was thinking of bringing this girl here for our first date. In a nutshell, this is a girl I used to hang out w/ when I was in elementary school, and she had a crush on me then, but its been 10 years since I've seen her. Anyways, I was planning on taking her to a comedy club, but this popped up. My friends are pretty cool people...they get rowdy sometimes, but overall they're chill. I'm a little self-conscious because I'm a bit chubby with some medium-sized love-handles. Although, I hope and think this wont matter much, but still, it bugs me. And dont tell me to keep my shirt on, because I'm going to be swimming.

Is there anything about this entire scenario that could possibly backfire? You guys rock.


PS. If you're interested, THIS is the girl I'm bringing.

 

[MetalFortress]

Just go, take your shirt off, don't worry about it. Girls worry about this kind of stuff thinking they have a bit too much extra, when guys are just like "who cares". SAME WAY IN REVERSE. Your insecurity will make a worse impact than a small case of love handles.

 

[jasonrivera]

Originally posted by MetalFortress
Just go, take your shirt off, don't worry about it. Girls worry about this kind of stuff thinking they have a bit too much extra, when guys are just like "who cares". SAME WAY IN REVERSE. Your insecurity will make a worse impact than a small case of love handles.

I hope so. Anyone else think I'm getting worried over nothing?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Beach bonfire with friends is a bad idea! Do something/ go somewhere where you can both relate to one another on a personal level.

 

[Move]

I agree with MetalFortress. If you are feeling insecure about taking your shirt off then you will only make yourself feel bad and negativity breeds negativity which you DONT need for a first date.
You need to be in a positive frame of mind for this party so... maybe if its a drinking party, have a couple to ease your nerves and just tear that shirt off whenever you damn well please because:

1) you are completely happy with yourself ... and
2) If that girl doesn't like you because of something as insignificant as little love handles? F#ck her off!

Dont worry about it buddy, just make sure you have some fun!!

 

[Grey Fox]

Hey she is the one who had the crush on you. She is the one who is going to remember all those old giddy feelings, and get nervous. You are already in control of the situation, the battle is half won. All you have to do is go in with the right attitude. Which is what everyone else here has told you.

-Grey Fox

 

[jasonrivera]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Beach bonfire with friends is a bad idea! Do something/ go somewhere where you can both relate to one another on a personal level.

Why do you think that this is such a bad idea, PRL?

 

[fukuy]

Never involve your friends in your first date. Your girl may pay attention to someone else in your group instead you. Plus as PRL said, you wouldnt have much time to get into personal with her due to many people around.

 

[Ebach]

Definitely! Don't bring your girl around friends until you're already going out or nothing will be happening anytime soon.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

The group thing is awkward and rude on a first date - she barely knows you let alone all the others. These are your friends and not hers so she'll feel at a disadvantage in this social setting. Imagine if you hanged out with her friends on a first date - wouldn't you feel awkward?

I know you want to have fun and entertain her but do so in a different social arena where you will only interact with one another.

 

[Coolage]

you could always run 6 miles a day til next week

 

[squirrels]

If very few or none of your "buds" at this party are going to be female, bringing your girl is a BAD idea. You don't want to bring her to a party with a bunch of drunk, horny dudes.

 

[jasonrivera]

Damn, you guys sure killed my idea. Comedy club it is! Anyways, the club says we have to arrive 2 hours early before the show starts, so if I can keep my cool for those 2 hours, I'll be good as gold. Just hope she doesnt cancel at the last minute. pff. There goes two reservations.

 

[Trickster_guy_2001]

Originally posted by jasonrivera
My buds are having an evening bonfire at the beach a week from now, and I was thinking of bringing this girl here for our first date. In a nutshell, this is a girl I used to hang out w/ when I was in elementary school, and she had a crush on me then, but its been 10 years since I've seen her. Anyways, I was planning on taking her to a comedy club, but this popped up. My friends are pretty cool people...they get rowdy sometimes, but overall they're chill. I'm a little self-conscious because I'm a bit chubby with some medium-sized love-handles. Although, I hope and think this wont matter much, but still, it bugs me. And dont tell me to keep my shirt on, because I'm going to be swimming.

Is there anything about this entire scenario that could possibly backfire? You guys rock.


PS. If you're interested, THIS is the girl I'm bringing.

Hmmm... I would say that you should do whatever makes you most comforatable, since you're probably going to be a little nervous anyway. Maybe avoiding this this time around might help. The Comedy club is good, because even if there isn't much chemistry, you guys will have the comedy to laugh about and share.

With the beach, you are nervous about being chubby, and she's probably nervous about her body, or her swimming abilities, or if she doesn't like your friends, or she's going on a date with a whole bunch of people she doesn't know... there's a lot more to make you more uptight or nervous and it could put a hamper on the date... for the both of you. Maybe waiting till the third date or something for the beach. You could do the beach thing with no money. You could even make it more fun with just the two of you.

Of course, it's your choice, and this is going to sound a little hypocritical, since I hate not wearing a shirt either, but try not to let it bother you too much. If you're that concerned about it, you can do some excersize, lose those love handles... THEN do the beach.

But it's entirely up to you. And you could offer this as a backup, or maybe do both depending on time... go to the party for an hour, then go to the comedy festival... you can then play frisbe or sit and drink, or lay out, and then go to the comedy club.

Good luck.

 

[donjan]

I think it is a good thing she will see you with your friends. They obviously know you and like you, and this will show. You'll likely have a great time regardless of any sexual tensoin between you two. If this is a goal, don't forget to make this clear too.

Don't worry about your extra pounds, women are jealous enough of men not worrying as much with their looks (most men, at least), so it is only positive not to pay any attention to this.

I also am a few pounds overweight, but the last time I have been to the beach, it wasn't 10, it was 80, so I know what this feels like. Stop caring, you can't hide your body so hide your insecurity instead.