Finally broke up.

[PTC]

Hmm. How we break up.. Long story man... I made mistakes, but she made 10x more.

We had a huge quarrel last night, and it leads to some violence. Messy breakup. She is an utter b!tch, let's see what she had done...

She has called me when i walked away the last time round 3 days ago. She came straight to my place before i can say no. Alright then we so called "became okay", but our hearts are filed with resentments...

We were supposed to go for a movies and I ask her not to stay over my place for the weekend as i am going to be busy and some family stuffs crop up (As she always do). She's like damm angry and pack her bags and leave immediately. She has no control over her emotions.

I walk away outside to smoke while she's packing her bag. She came to me and i refused to talk more. Then she said something that provokes me big time, we quarreled and she left halfway in the MIDST of a quarrel (How i hate it). I pulled her back with my hand, asking her to show respect when a person is talking. It bruises her and she SCREAMS, ran to my neighbour and ask my neighbour to call the cops as I was using violence. Damm b!tch.

Afterwards, we quarreled in the public at my residential area, and she kept screaming like a mad dog. really.. totally like a mad dog.. Everyone's looking and i told her that we need to talk under a "PRIVATE area", not public. She's getting everyone to think that she's innocent again.. She continued screaming and i gave her a slap. She retaliate with a punch in my face. Argg.

We then agreed together and get some common friends out. We told them what happen for the past few weeks. and guess what.. ALL of them think that she's a bit insane... and her behaviour is totally unacceptable.. They let her know about all her mistakes. She listened but think nothing about it.

They told her about her problem.

1) Anger managerment problem
2) Extreme stubborness
3) Dual personality (Gets normal and extreme easily)
4) Jobless (Her friends scolded her, she's jobless with a year plus.. Wow?)
5) Many more...

In the end of the disscussion, her friends all sided towards me... yet scolding her... that really shows a lot about her..

She used violence towards me again when we talked about some issues.. and used her high heel to slam at my head. That's a great deal (PAINFUL!).

After she left, her friends are indeed cursing on her extremely bad attitude.. In fact she's getting unpopular among her friends... There onwards... I have truly moved on...

In fact i admit I'm childish in the way i handled things. My emotions get over me. But that b!tch is the catalyst of everything as i have yet encounter this kinda situation with other girls.

The nice high heels mark is still on my head now.

Man does this ever sound familiar....

I feel you dude

 

[DjVelvet]

Man does this ever sound familiar....

I feel you dude

Man.. I'm feel a bit painful now.. I hate the post breakup feeling. It comes and goes. But i know it will dissolve in a week or 2's time.

 

[joekerr31]

Man.. I'm feel a bit painful now.. I hate the post breakup feeling. It comes and goes. But i know it will dissolve in a week or 2's time.

your not feeling pain you're creating pain. remind yourself of that.

any pain you are feeling right now you are creating yourself baesd on how you perceive the situation. its 100% created by your own mind.

and its a normal thing, but so many people think they are simply 'in pain', as though they have no part in that pain. as if they were to stub their toe.

but its not like stubbing your toe. emotional pain is created by us.

which is great, because if we are creating it, guess what? .... we can also get rid of it.

 

[DjVelvet]

your not feeling pain you're creating pain. remind yourself of that.

any pain you are feeling right now you are creating yourself baesd on how you perceive the situation. its 100% created by your own mind.

and its a normal thing, but so many people think they are simply 'in pain', as though they have no part in that pain. as if they were to stub their toe.

but its not like stubbing your toe. emotional pain is created by us.

which is great, because if we are creating it, guess what? .... we can also get rid of it.

Joekerr, I have a general question for you.

I am not strong emotionally, in fact, I have poor control of my emotions. (aka letting them control me.. although i tried very hard not to let them.) A lot of guys will bash me and call me a pu$$y for sure.

How do you improve your self-control (emotionally-wise)?

 

[joekerr31]

emotional control is perhaps the most important element of being 'mature'.

you control it by learning that being emotional does not serve your best interest.

there's no process I or anyone else can give you other than to say that you will learn self control when you realize the benefit of doing so.

its kind of like you asking me 'i love to speed, how do i slow down?"

the answer is that you have to see the value in driving slower. you have to see speeding as a negative. the actual act of slowing down is no more complicated than to stop pressing the gas pedal. theres no magic trick to it. the trick however is seeing the reasoning that will make you want to stop pressing the gas pedal.

most people won't slow down until they almost get into an accident due to their speeding. then they go 'man i gotta pull this back a bit. im gonna get myself killed.'

same thing with women. men keep losing their emotions until one day it just hits them 'damn, i better get control of my emotions or i'm going to keep repeating this cycle of disaster after disaster."

the primary thing though though that causes men, and women, to lose their emotions is that in any given situation they think to themselves 'this SHOULDN'T be happening."

i shouldn't have gotten fired.
she shouldn't be yelling at me.
she shouldn't have cheated.
he shouldn't have cut me off.
i shouldn't be stuck in traffic.

this way of thinking implies that a horrible wrong has been committed against you. and so it seems perfectly reasonable to get angry and fight back against whoever committed that wrong - to hate them with a vengence and wish for them to die.

the appropriate way of looking at life, in my opinion though, is more zen buddhist. to say these things shouldn't happen is ridiculous. they happen all the time. its like telling yourself it shouldn't rain - pretty stupid given you know at some point it is going to rain.

the right way to approach it is to EXPECT that these kinds of things are going to happen. and given that they ARE going to happen, there's no reason to feel like some horrible wrong has been committed against you in the grand scheme of things. this stuff is SUPPOSE to happen, its expected, if anything it SHOULD happen over the course of your life.

so when it does happen, instead of getting all upset over it, deal with it, calmly and intelligently.

so if i had to say whats the biggest thing you can do to get your emotions under control it would be to stop thinking that bad things aren't suppose to happen to you and accept that these things are a part of life. everyone goes through them, you aren't the only one, you aren't being treated unfairly, you are being treated the same as everyone else.

so theres no need to throw a tantrum. just accept sh*t happens, handle it without letting your emotions explode and move on with life.

 

[PTC]

Joekerr, I have a general question for you.

I am not strong emotionally, in fact, I have poor control of my emotions. (aka letting them control me.. although i tried very hard not to let them.) A lot of guys will bash me and call me a pu$$y for sure.

How do you improve your self-control (emotionally-wise)?

One thought that helps me is that I think of all the people out there that are alot worse off in life than we are. Just think there's people out there that are dying or that are paralyzed or just people that don't have a pot to piss in! Just think how much they would rather be in our situation than theirs.

I know I'm probably not one to give advice on here especially from all the whinning i've done on here but I'd just thought I would throw in my 2 cents...

Oh and Rollo I think you owe me some money??

 

[KontrollerX]

"How do you improve your self-control (emotionally-wise)?"

You kind of have to recondition yourself of how you view the world and the people in it that you associate with.

People who have earned your love and trust over a long period of time who stick by you through thick and thin deserve your various emotional expressions.

People who prove themselves unworthy in one way or another deserve nothing except maybe either pity, utter contempt or indifference.

 

[jophil28]

The point i'm emphasizing for all guys are, SPIN MORE PLATES. It definately helps a lot better. (Of course make sure they are quality babes, not those F up BPD b!tches)

.

"Make sure that they are quality babes.."

The problem is this - women with BPD or NPD or any other Cluster B traits are master actresses . You think that you are getting a "quality woman" but you are just getting an empty, mindfvcking ,self-serving wh)re who will lie, cheat, and stomp on your heart just to amuse herself. They usually are very pretty and sooo attractive, ( watch out for models, hairstylists and women who are addicted to their own appearance )
THese women are all wrapping and no contents.
You think that you are getting the genuine article but you wind up with a cheap tacky imitation.

I found out thru one bitter personal experience with one of those " china doll "types . All demure and passive and sweeter than honey. She turned out to be a lifelong SLVT and a compulsive liar.

All BPD women do not scream or cut themselves . BUt they ALL end up treating you very badly and justifying their crap behavior. One day they adore you, and the next day they would not piss on you if you lay on the sidewalk on fire.

Personality disorders are obscure and murky because these baitches usually have a few disorders all mixed in together.
I call it the "crazy ****tail " .. Take some Borderline ,mixed in with a little Histrionic , add a good dash of Narcissistic, and a splash of Paranoid , and garnish with some Avoidant and YOU get yourself a massive emotional hangover if you get into a relationship with these losers.

The trick is to WALK AWAY at the FIRST SIGN of crazy behavior. It WILL happen quickly because they LOVE their SHYTE TESTS.These women only know how to have sex on a rollercoaster. They are NOT fit for an LTR EVER !!!!
Do not try to fix it or figure it out . IF their behavior is bewildering then you need to do a 180 fast.

These women are nutso and will give you brain damage.

 

[PTC]

"Make sure that they are quality babes.."

The problem is this - women with BPD or NPD or any other Cluster B traits are master actresses . You think that you are getting a "quality woman" but you are just getting an empty, mindfvcking ,self-serving wh)re who will lie, cheat, and stomp on your heart just to amuse herself. They usually are very pretty and sooo attractive, ( watch out for models, hairstylists and women who are addicted to their own appearance )
THese women are all wrapping and no contents.
You think that you are getting the genuine article but you wind up with a cheap tacky imitation.

I found out thru one bitter personal experience with one of those " china doll "types . All demure and passive and sweeter than honey. She turned out to be a lifelong SLVT and a compulsive liar.

All BPD women do not scream or cut themselves . BUt they ALL end up treating you very badly and justifying their crap behavior. One day they adore you, and the next day they would not piss on you if you lay on the sidewalk on fire.

Personality disorders are obscure and murky because these baitches usually have a few disorders all mixed in together.
I call it the "crazy ****tail " .. Take some Borderline ,mixed in with a little Histrionic , add a good dash of Narcissistic, and a splash of Paranoid , and garnish with some Avoidant and YOU get yourself a massive emotional hangover if you get into a relationship with these losers.

The trick is to WALK AWAY at the FIRST SIGN of crazy behavior. It WILL happen quickly because they LOVE their SHYTE TESTS.These women only know how to have sex on a rollercoaster. They are NOT fit for an LTR EVER !!!!
Do not try to fix it or figure it out . IF their behavior is bewildering then you need to do a 180 fast.

These women are nutso and will give you brain damage.

Dude did we date the same girl???

 

[jophil28]

Dude did we date the same girl???

Hey, how's it going with you PTC ? Are you stabilizing slowly ?
Ha !! We did not date the same "girl" but the similarities between our respective circumstances are enough to give you a shiver.
It only takes ONE experience with a BPD/NPD/HPD femme to give you some serious brain damage. These women are not like the 'general' ( I was going to say 'normal' but somehow the words 'normal' and "female" are not really a good fit ) female population .

I know the signs and symptoms of PD women now, BUT the price that I paid for this awareness was too high .

 

[betterthandead]

i'd suck this one up, and I wonder what type of person you are to have a $700 cell phone.

 

[PTC]

Hey, how's it going with you PTC ? Are you stabilizing slowly ?
Ha !! We did not date the same "girl" but the similarities between our respective circumstances are enough to give you a shiver.
It only takes ONE experience with a BPD/NPD/HPD femme to give you some serious brain damage. These women are not like the 'general' ( I was going to say 'normal' but somehow the words 'normal' and "female" are not really a good fit ) female population .

I know the signs and symptoms of PD women now, BUT the price that I paid for this awareness was too high .

Yeah,...doing okay. Have some bad days and some good ones. More good ones now than before though. Mine is going to be a little more difficult because I have to see her 2 days a week when I take my little girl to school. I've already seen her once but never made eye contact. The worst part is my little girl keeps asking when we're going to see her again. She's only 7 so I have tried to explain relationships to her. She's pretty smart so she should do ok.

Thanks for asking!!

 

[DjVelvet]

Yeah,...doing okay. Have some bad days and some good ones. More good ones now than before though. Mine is going to be a little more difficult because I have to see her 2 days a week when I take my little girl to school. I've already seen her once but never made eye contact. The worst part is my little girl keeps asking when we're going to see her again. She's only 7 so I have tried to explain relationships to her. She's pretty smart so she should do ok.

Thanks for asking!!

Man.. I'm going through your situation except i'm the "Rewinded 2 weeks ago" version of you. But I am not going to let my emotions take control. Otherwise i will be making my friends disappointed in me after all the advices.

I spend the whole afternoon thinking whether i should call her. Fighting against my emotions. In the end, my self-control managed to take over my emotions.

I'm hitting the gym now. Please update on your progress too. PTC.

 

[PTC]

Man.. I'm going through your situation except i'm the "Rewinded 2 weeks ago" version of you. But I am not going to let my emotions take control. Otherwise i will be making my friends disappointed in me after all the advices.

I spend the whole afternoon thinking whether i should call her. Fighting against my emotions. In the end, my self-control managed to take over my emotions.

I'm hitting the gym now. Please update on your progress too. PTC.

The gym and exercise definitely help. I work out every day except sunday and you do feel better after. Mine has gotten back with her ex husband which I knew was going to happen so it's not as bad but it still hurts sometimes. It really is more me being pissed off at myself for not sticking to my guns and not taking her back those times i tried to break up with her. Just keep thinking about all the negatives sh!t she pulled on you and you will start to see the light!! I know its tough but it will make you a wiser and stronger person in the end. Just like joekerr31 said, just pretend you had a bad wreck or something. You know you feel like sh!t right now but you also know you will get better and will be your normal self again. It's not like you have any life threatning illness but just a bad wreck. :yes: