Field Report: My disasterous date

[the_gunslinger]

So, I've literally just come from the disasterous date. I'd been looking forward to this thing for about a week, and what a farse it turned out to be.

This chick was a girl i'd met at speed dating and was a follow up date from that. we'd arranged to meet at 8 in a bar, and i was going to take her bowling after that. fair enough you might think. Getting the action date in there seemed like a good idea at the time, but lets start at the beginning.

About 7 i get a txt message saying "Im still rough from last night and im really tired, blah blah blah...". Fair enough. I meet her at 8 and she does look tired. I buy her a drink and we go upstairs and chat.

Now this is where things get a bit wierd. I'd followed most of pimpologists stuff in the bible, using open ended questions and nouning, just the basics. yet, for every open ended question i ask, im getting 3-4 word answers.

So, after much continual effort, i finally run out of things to ask/say. enter many awkard silences often ended by my increasingly strained efforts to get a reaction, any reaction would have been better than that morose silence.

Anyway, i suggest we go bowling (Having had my shyt together, a guy i know at the bowling lane had reserved us a lane). i get hit with "Can we give it a miss tonight, im really tired". Well, that seemed to open the flood gates, every 5 minutes, im getting a comment about how tired she is and how she wants to go to bed.

She also refused to maintain eye contact. i dont know if this is indicitive of her interest level or what, but it just seemed there was something missing. I was trying with the C/F stuff and kino, i even tried to palmistry pattern of fastseduction.net

anyways, i got a text message. i reply to it and this gobby bytch from the next table starts mouthing off at me for being ignorant, yet the girl i was with was staring at her mobile every 10 mins. WTF? Gobby girl starts slagging me off and talking to girl i was with, i think sod it and say to girl im with "You look tired, shall we make a move?"

now, after she'd got into a taxi, i was left wondering about something xblitzx (I think) had said on here before. He said that, had a woman had no physical attraction to a man, then he had no chance. im starting to wonder if thats what it was rather than her being tired. As anyone of my friends will tell you, i can put the elephant man to shame in the ugly stakes, b0llocks to how tight/ loose my game might have been, i think i realise that im never going to have a chance with any sort of decent looking girl and im going to be stuck with ugs, psychos and fat chicks for ad infinitum. however, rather than feeling sorry for me, i want you to answer me this question.

I say to girl we should do something when she's not tired. she says yes, i suggest next week ( I know i shouldnt have tried to set up another date in a date, but i wasnt thinking and i just got pi$$ed off with it). I get some BS about how its peoples birthdays and shyte. Now, is it worth attempting to call her and salvage something or do i just next her? She did ask about what i look for in a girl and when my last g/f was if that has any relevance, but i'd assume that was more for something to talk about rather than anything else.

anyway, cheers for reading this, tell me what you think happened and give me some ideas.

gunn- SoSuaves Ugliest Member

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

After getting her text message, what made you think that she was going to be worth the time and effort, at least for that night? On top of that, being non communicative and generally not interested in the date AND telling you that she was tired, several times.

What made you go through with it? What did you hope to accomplish?

 

[the_gunslinger]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
After getting her text message, what made you think that she was going to be worth the time and effort, at least for that night? On top of that, being non communicative and generally not interested in the date AND telling you that she was tired, several times.

What made you go through with it? What did you hope to accomplish?

Honestly?

I got the text message literally an hour before the date was supposed to start. i suppose i thought I was getting high Interest levels from her before the date, having had several messages saying "Looking forward to seeing you, etc..." I mean, the girl just volunteered her phone number with no hesitation in an e mail so i suppose i thought that her seemingly high Interest level was what made me go through with it.

She wasnt non communicative and un interested untill we actually met up, and i thought if i stuck about, i might actually be able to get more than what was already there.

however, Fransisco, you've really put me on the spot here. i'll admit to being a little bit desperate, maybe even a little overly optimistic and i lost sight of what was actually happening. I think thats what happened, but when its your first date in 6 months, and, despite the great stuff on here your looks stop you getting girls, you try (and often fail) to make the most of whatever chances you get.

I'm curious though, do you think its worth trying again with her when she's not tired or just leaving it?

 

[Shadow Dancer]

It REALLY IS about having tight game. Ever thought about attending Tyler D's seminar/workshop? I highly recommend it. When you see just how not good looking Tyler is you'll be blown away by the gorgeous girls he pulls. Once you see it for yourself, there will be no turning back.

Go for it.

 

[amokk23]

NEXT.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

I take it she chose you to go on a second date, so there was some interest on her part - no? Was she having second thoughts b 4 the date?

I personaly would have ended the date after 30 minutes of boring convo....and let her make the next move when she is not so tired, if she was really interested.

Call her up again and see if she is game to do the bowling thing on a day when there is no work and she will be properly rested.

You may have seemed desperate by keeping her longer than she wanted - you held her hostage

You don't have this negative attitude on your looks when u r talking to these chicks, do you?

 

[Genghis Juan]

I know that hindsight vision is 20/20, but maybe if I were in your shoes, and she really looked exhausted and out of it, I would have cut the date short.

Usually on the first date with a girl, I keep it a light and short date, usually just for tea or coffee. So that it is really easy to cut the date short, whatever the reason, and she doesn't feel too pressured and more at ease.

Its just my personal preference, but I HATE bars and lounges for dates. Too many other people and noise interfering with your mojo you know? Like that crazy bytch sitting next to you. Like the coffee house, because its nice and quiet.

I'd give this girl another shot....I usually will give someone the benefit of a doubt. See what her reaction is on the phone as you give small talk, if her voice tone is flat and she is unresponsive to convo, don't even bother asking her out...she probably is no longer interested.

 

[Genghis Juan]

BTW

Shadow Dancer:

Who is Tyler D? Does he have a website?

 

[DJ Bishop]

Originally posted by Shadow Dancer
It REALLY IS about having tight game. Ever thought about attending Tyler D's seminar/workshop? I highly recommend it. When you see just how not good looking Tyler is you'll be blown away by the gorgeous girls he pulls. Once you see it for yourself, there will be no turning back.

Go for it.

Tyler D's workshop?

 

[squirrels]

You should've called her up after that crap. Tell her in a nice way, "Look, if you're going to be all bored and tired, let's not waste the night bumming around. Why don't we just do it next xxxxday?"

Personally, I think it's disrespectful if a girl makes an obligation to go somewhere with you, then goes out and parties all night the night before and feels too ill/tired to go out with you when you had planned. It's one thing if she has something to do (even then 24hrs notice would be nice).

But I'm seriously starting to think this "reschedule the first date" crap is a page right out of Mademoiselle's "Top 50 things to Keep your Man Guessing." Happens all the time. And it's tired. And the next girl who pulls it is gonna hear that from me.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by the_gunslinger
...however, Fransisco, you've really put me on the spot here. i'll admit to being a little bit desperate, maybe even a little overly optimistic and i lost sight of what was actually happening. I think thats what happened, but when its your first date in 6 months, and, despite the great stuff on here your looks stop you getting girls, you try (and often fail) to make the most of whatever chances you get.

I'm curious though, do you think its worth trying again with her when she's not tired or just leaving it?

My post wasn't meant to put you on the spot, just to shake you a little bit to realize what you were doing. Your post sounds as if you know what happened and why, good work.

However, your situation is another example of the problems of having one-itis by focusing your efforts on one woman. Consider this, what if you knew 2, 3, 4 or more women who showed a decent interest level (anything above 50%)? Would your situation be so foremost in your mind?

Nothing against you but having a woman cancel an hour before a date without a counter is unacceptable. Do you think that she just happened to get so desperately tired an hour before, c'mon get real.

Now most of the other DJs on here will tell you to give her another chance and I agree with them to a point. Basically, the ball would be in her court with no additional effort on my part. If she comes back while making an purposeful effort, I'd give her another chance. However, until then she is at the bottom of my list.

And that is why I would tend to 'next' women pretty easily. Having a few in line makes it much more easy, especially if their proven interest level is high (anything over 75%). Thus the reason for always having a few qualified ladies in the pipeline if you aren't already in a LTR.

Always judge a woman by her current actions and not what she says in any instance nor what she has done in the past. Decide on what she is doing right now. All DJs will tell you that if a woman has a high IL, she will make time for you one way or another. If something comes up, she'll give you a counter offer.

It's your choice about just how much effort you spend with a women. Understand that it is easier when you look at the situation realistically and not be blinded by your perception of the situation. The fact is that you can not make a woman become interested in you. That is why it makes sense to make your decisions by what she does and not waste time by judging the situation by your perception alone.

 

[Genghis Juan]

k

 

[Genghis Juan]

I agree with Francisco. Consider this girl a very cold lead as they say in the sales world. Don't put much effort at all. If you actually still want to call her, go ahead but wait a week or so. Put her on "probation". If you get a hold of her, ask her out for a very short coffee date in the afternoon, nothing more. If you get her VM, just leave a message saying hi, and to give you a call back. If she then doesn't call back, then she is not interested.

The key DJ attitude is that you don't NEED a woman, you WANT one though. If you are not happy with your appearence like you were saying in the original post; then you need to work on yourself before you go out there hunting in the jungle. You MUST be confident with yourself, because you will be rejected ALOT! This isn't the first disasterous date and won't be the last; you will have alot. Don't take it personally. It happens to everyone. My cousin, when he was single, got blown off alot. He looked like a male model; women would be all over him in clubs. But even rejections and blowoffs happened to him.

If your confidence his very firmly rooted and your callous is quite strong, you can even handle dating one woman in those dry spells with out one-itis, because you will know that if it doesn't work out, there is always another woman around the corner if she is lucky enough to go out with u.