Few things...

[styleman]

Had argument with girl I was in LTR with, she was just annoying me a lot and silly little fights.
So, I jumped back into the water, and got talking to two girls.
First one chatting a lot with, have not bothered to ask her out yet. Lot of talk but any sexual advancements I make are met with a bit of a 'hard to get' attitude rather than openness. Around a HB7 but seems quite fun and similar to me.
Second one asked me out, then flaked... was at least a HB9.
Now the old girl from the LTR is sending me messages late at night, 'I love you'
I don't even know what to respond to them???

So three questions,

The HB7, just wtf? She has really tough game and in my opinion isn't even that attractive.
The HB9, barely even spoke to her that much, she asked me out, and then ditches me? I didn't make any afc move at all, I think... ???
Old girl, I do still like her, but we really really fought, and I just don't know what to say to her... Saying 'Love you' back seems ridiculous because at the moment I really don't.. We didn't really break up, but I feel like I have nothing to say to her.

 

[sheep-man]

id prob go with the old girl, hb9 sounds like a flaker and will proberly stuff u around and the hb 7 just doesnt sound interested

 

[styleman]

But really just at a loss for words with the old girl... Any idea how to overcome that?

 

[styleman]

???

 

[Igetit!]

I got a few minutes before I have to go to work,so if possible,I'll try to help you out:When you and the girl you were in the LTR used to fight,What type of things did you fight about? Who started the fights? And what kind of things did she do that annoyed you?

Also,you said that she's started sending "I love you" texts to you. Well how much time had passed since you two last seen each other up until she started sending you these texts?

 

[styleman]

I got a few minutes before I have to go to work,so if possible,I'll try to help you out:When you and the girl you were in the LTR used to fight,What type of things did you fight about? Who started the fights? And what kind of things did she do that annoyed you?

Also,you said that she's started sending "I love you" texts to you. Well how much time had passed since you two last seen each other up until she started sending you these texts?

Thanks for helping.

Things we fought about:
- She forced me me to cancel an evening with some friends to meet her mother (late notice, the day before) then on the day cancels with me. This is what set off the big argument.

- On minute she's saying I love you,I don't know what I'd do without you, next she's saying don't message me now, I'm at dinner. I wasn't harassing her, nor did I start the conversation, we were in the middle of a conversation and it wasn't going her way.

Various things like that, which I won't put up with.

How long had passed? Just under two days.
I think what triggered it was that I didn't talk to her the whole day monday, when I usually talk to her a few times a day.

 

[Igetit!]

Dude,if you'd just look a little closer at your own reply,you'd see a key to starting to turn this thing around in your favor. Well,I've got to be at work in 35 minutes,so I can't really break down the componants of how to start re-interacting with her right now. Hopefully some of the other members can help you out. If not,then I'll give you my thoughts tomorrow. (I work 12 hours a day.) Peace man.

 

[styleman]

Dude,if you'd just look a little closer at your own reply,you'd see a key to starting to turn this thing around in your favor. Well,I've got to be at work in 35 minutes,so I can't really break down the componants of how to start re-interacting with her right now. Hopefully some of the other members can help you out. If not,then I'll give you my thoughts tomorrow. (I work 12 hours a day.) Peace man.

Really appreciate if you would give your 2 cents, whenever, can wait till tomo.

I can't see the key to turn it in my favor, at least help with that now??

 

[Guoy Darko]

Maybe this is horrible advice, but I would just go and talk with her. What's the point of having an ltr if you can't talk with eachother? Tell her what's bothering you.

She's forcing you to cancel evenings with your friends.... But maybe something was up with her mum. I dunno.

 

[styleman]

Maybe this is horrible advice, but I would just go and talk with her. What's the point of having an ltr if you can't talk with eachother? Tell her what's bothering you.

She's forcing you to cancel evenings with your friends.... But maybe something was up with her mum. I dunno.

Whatever you're saying is right, and correct if using ones heart, but I don't use my heart when it comes to girls; that's what makes me successful.

 

[Guoy Darko]

Whatever you're saying is right, and correct if using ones heart, but I don't use my heart when it comes to girls; that's what makes me successful.

Wow, how do you not use your heart when you're in an ltr?

 

[styleman]

I don't see how that's a requirement??

 

[Guoy Darko]

I'm not sure it's a requirement, but it seems to me that it's pretty hard to have a ltr and leave your heart out. Unless maybe you're dating other people at the same time, or you only meet up with your ltr to f*ck. But then again, I don't know if you can call that a ltr.

I'm just asking you how you can leave your heart out.

 

[styleman]

I'm not sure it's a requirement, but it seems to me that it's pretty hard to have a ltr and leave your heart out. Unless maybe you're dating other people at the same time, or you only meet up with your ltr to f*ck. But then again, I don't know if you can call that a ltr.

I'm just asking you how you can leave your heart out.

I guess what we are defining as using your heart are different things. Sure I'll care for etc. but I won't let emotional blackmail be used on me.
Back to the original question...

 

[Black suit]

I'm bitter, but I'd say next all three and find new ones.

 

[styleman]

I'm bitter, but I'd say next all three and find new ones.

That really is bitter...

 

[Igetit!]

Thanks for helping.

Things we fought about:
- She forced me me to cancel an evening with some friends to meet her mother (late notice, the day before) then on the day cancels with me. This is what set off the big argument.

I understand your position here,I'd be angry too. But what do you mean by her "forcing you" to cancel an evening with your friends? How did she do that? Like I said,I can see why you'd be upset over this,but how you reacted to her could be just as wrong.
So how did you react to her? Did you start yell,hollering,and cursing her out?
If you did,bam. You lost right there. If a woman disrespects you,yeah,you stand up like a man and let her know you won't put up with it,but regessing to child-like behavior only aggrevates the situation and makes it worse.
Arguing with a woman never works. You know why? Because women are emotional. She gets her emotions stimulated when you argue. She actually gets something out of it. It may be ok to argue every now and then just to rev her up,but NOT to change her mind or try to get her to see things your way. Arguing with a woman in an attempt to change her mind doesn't work.

- On minute she's saying I love you,I don't know what I'd do without you, next she's saying don't message me now, I'm at dinner. I wasn't harassing her, nor did I start the conversation, we were in the middle of a conversation and it wasn't going her way.

Man,there could be sooo many different reasons why her behavior shifts like this. It's simply too hard to pinpoint exactly what's going on with her. All I know is this:You have to continue to be you ....no matter what. In other words,you can't start switching and changing yourself in an attempt to please whichever side of her that decides to come out today. If she's the "I love you" version today,you be you. If she's the nagging one,you be you. If she decides to be cold,you be you. Like I said,there's a reason why she behaves the way she does,but there's just not enough info given to determine exactly why.

How long had passed? Just under two days.
I think what triggered it was that I didn't talk to her the whole day monday, when I usually talk to her a few times a day.

Yeah,this is was talking about when I said the "key" to turning this thing around.
Now you can't make this girl do anything. You can't make her behave the way you'd like her to. All you can do is simply demonstrate and express the qualities that you have in yourself that women find attractive. And she'll either respond to it or not,but most likely she will.

First of all,stand up and be a man....and I don't mean yelling and cursing her out. When she had you to cancel your plans with your friends in order to go meet her mother,then she cancelled those plans,I would have looked her dead in her eyes and told her that that was the LAST TIME she was going to waste my time like that. And if she had started to argue with me over it,I wouldn't have said another word on the subject. And if she just insist on arguing in about it,I would have just grabbed my keys and left....with saying a single word. I hate to say it like this,but in a sense,you're "training" her. You're training her to associate arguing/disrespectful behavior with being alone. I PROMISE YOU,that'll get her to straighten out. You arguing is just a waste of time. Why? Because you're still there with her. Having peace is better than arguing,but arguing is better than being alone.

You said that just under two days had passed before she started sending you these "I love you" text. Well the next time she tries to disrespect you,let her know that you're not going to put up with it....WITHOUT AGURING. Once you argue,you've already lost,remember? Arguing won't work. The only thing that'll get her attention is silence/her being alone. Eventually,she'll start to notice that everytime she tries to walk over you or mistreat you,she ends up by herself.

Good luck man.

 

[styleman]

I understand your position here,I'd be angry too. But what do you mean by her "forcing you" to cancel an evening with your friends? How did she do that?

Not that much, I said no, she pleaded. It wasn't the end of the world if I had to cancel, so I did.

So how did you react to her? Did you start yell,hollering,and cursing her out?

Not at all, I just calmly told her that if she was going to be like this, I need to distance myself. I told her that I would only bother with her if she was 100% there. She said she could not help it, so I told her that I don't want to talk to her. She cried. I fell for the trap and consoled her. We got to talking again, and she refused to admit that she was wrong, and told me that she'd 'give me space' because she thought 'that's what I need' then I'd 'understand her point of view.' I said 'yes I need space, from you' and left.
She did later apologise, but I was just at a loss of words with her.

'Yeah,this is was talking about when I said the "key" to turning this thing around.'

I still don't get it...

Thanks for the advice, will keep it on board.

On another note, seems to now be progressing with the HB7, had a provocative convo yesterday with her.