“All rise!” sosuave.com enters the courtroom with extravagant robes. Like an old man, he walks slowly to the judge’s chair and sits. Everyone else sits after him. sosuave.com puts on his glasses and says softly, “What is the matter?” The officer quickly walked over to sosuave.com and handed him the papers. Squinting through his glasses, he examined the papers. “Who represents the Defense?” A feminist stands. (Note: she is fat and ugly with a poisonous personality as most feminists are.) “You represent All Women?” “I do.” Sosuave.com reads from the sheet. “You are accused of being Machiavellian rather than wise, calculating rather than smart, mimicking rather than confidant, full of gestures rather than full of actions, a highwayman who changes personalities and clothes to steal Man’s egos, a mind-shaper who possesses no identity, no virtues, no morals, no truths, and is ultimately a barbaric petty child-like species who transform all these vices into virtues under the hypnotic state called ‘Love’.” He looked up. “How do you plead?” “Innocent.” “Now let us hear the argument. The representative of the Men may begin.” Pook jumped from his seat. “Thank you, Your Honor. Many men are afflicted with the disease known as Nice Guyius Patheticus. Now, the symptoms of such disease are awful. The afflicted male will sacrifice dead plants as tokens of affection, write bad poetry, will speak in a language of banquets, and act like a fool in every and all ways.” “Objection!” “Yeah, you would object.” The feminist snorted, “The matter is about women, not about men.” “No,” sosuave.com answered. “Women effect men's behavior. Let us hear the argument.” Pook smiled. “I call my first witness, the man with alligator skin when it comes to women, ANTI-DUMP!” Anti-Dump walks in and stands in the front. The officer rushes by and holds up a rather thick book. “Place your hand on the DJ Bible.” He did so. “Do you swear, above all, to be a Man, to speak the truth of everything woman, to live with no apology, to know what you want and how to get it, and live to the fullest so through Don Juan?” “I do.” Pook paced back and forth. "Now, Anti-Dump, what would you suggest now to guys?" "That men should stop trying to figure out if women or any woman likes them. Men are NOT women. Take off the dress guys. It is WOMEN that wonder if a guy likes them before anything happens. Men have somehow picked up this bad habit from women." "Go on." "The thought of whether she likes you should never cross your mind. It is not important BEFORE you ask for the number. The important thing is you WANTING her. Always ask yourself "Do I want this one?". And the answer should be 'Wow. Boy do I!' That is all you need to know. Real men TAKE what they want." Pook turned toward the jury, which had one of each twelve members plucked from the last twelve centuries to have a true verdict of History. "As Anti-Dump is saying, men are beginnning to think like women. Obviously, feminism has made a great change. Your witness." The feminist approached Anti-Dump with caution. "Why are such an male-guided hard-nosed pig!?" "But that's why you love me!" Disgusted, she said, "No more questions." As Anti-Dump left the stand, Pook set up charts. "Members of the jury! In every age, no man would be afraid of a girl. Certainly, he would not look at a woman as one looks at a trialing oddessey." Pook turned toward the jury. "No, I have not gone beserk. I only agree with the D.C. sniper with ONE thing he said: "Oprah Winfrey will cause the downfall of Mankind. "Hence, it remains for us to acknoledge the weeds of Babylon emerging around this garden of men. Young people are caught up in imitations they do not know, do not wish to understand, but vainly beat their chest proclaiming how 'free' they now are without realizing that they are entering a prison that took prophets, the blood of martyrs, crusades on the battlefield, for us to emerge. A flight of vultures, of feminist harpies are circling overhead to pick at Man as vultures picked at Prometheus. These feminists (both the female and male variety) believe that they are highly progressive and well advanced. Yet, they are centuries behind the times. "Feminism came without warning... and conquered men. It has created a generation of neurotic males. A male of this time may be one of them. -Do you believe it is wrong to judge a woman by how she looks? -Do you believe it is wrong to advance on a woman, sexually, with no verbal consent? -Do you believe women have been 'discriminated' because of their gender, that males intentionally put women down? -Do you believe that in sex, it is wrong to even consider to 'have your way with her' and become and be the sensuous animal you've always dreamed? -Do you believe women desire, as priority, respect? "If you believe in any of these things, even just a little, you have been affected by Modern Feminism. It is the virus that creates the effects known as Nice Guyius Patheticus! "Women are judged on looks because YOU are judged on your looks (and women are much harsher about it!). Feminists think a magazine picture 'tyrannizes' young women. 'Forget my body, what about my mind?' they say. But did you ever hear a woman say to the Nice Guy, 'Your mind is great but I love your body!'? And every male is witness to the fact that women run towards testosteronized males, i.e. jerks. "Why do men fail with women? It is because they respect them. This ‘great respect’ men find in women is nothing more than a lack of self respect, a lack of confidence. Woman’s reflectory nature must have something to reflect. If there is no confidence, there is no man. If there is no man, there can be no real male and, thus, any love. "A recent Time magazine cover blared," Pook pointed to it, "that men and women are biologically different. Time treated this as a great discovery. But didn't we all know this when we turned age three or four? Feminism cannot see any biological differences between the sexes from the neck up." The feminist interrupted. "Is there a point to all this?" "Members of the jury, notice her tidy suit. Men change their clothes to match their lifestyles/attitudes. Women change their lifestyles/attitudes to match their clothes. Put her in a hula dress and she will start hula dancing!" Before she could object, Pook added, "Anyone who has thought about women will find little to value in them. The increase of thought about them; the increase of negativity is subscribed to them. The root of Nice Guyism is thinking too much about them. The more action you engage in, the more likely you are to get the hot chicks." Sosuave.com hammered the gavel and let the feminist call her witness. It was an average normal woman. The feminist's witness placed her hand on the 'Feminist Mystique' book, whose true name is actually the Feminist Mistake. When she was done, Pook asked her some questions: "Many men ask, 'What is the purpose of feminism?' After all, women have their votes, their careers, and their business-suits. Normal movements shut down once achieving their goals. Thus, feminism is not a normal movement. "Now, let us question the women. The woman, representing all women, was in the stand. Pook walks around her slowly, tapping on the bright light overhead. “Why did you become a feminist?” “Because… I was everything else. I was a daughter. Then, I became a woman. After that, I became a girlfriend. Then, I became a wife and mother. I had been everything. I was bored. Being a feminist was IT. There is nothing higher!” Pook makes his voice louder. “SO YOU ADMIT THE TRUTH!” “I do! I do! I confess!” “NOW we see the picture. Woman sees herself in relation to society. Women are in a never ending war between mind and body. The body says, “YES!” while the mind, ever remembering the status of reputation, says ‘NO!’ Oh, if there only was a something that could FREE women of this state!” “Yes…” “Something that could make *****s respectable…” “Yes!” “And sluts sublime…” “Oh yes!" “To turn the abandonment of motherhood into ‘fulfilling a woman’s potential!” “Yes! Yes! Yes!" “To make nagging infinite, to let fat girls feel free to get fatter, and to give ugly girls a societal role!” “OHHHH YESSSSS!” She falls unconscious. “That is the purpose of feminism: to let women do whatever they want with an air of morality, to turn feminine immorality into virtue. Thus, the problem of feminism is not men but women. "The truth: Feminism is not declaring war on masculinity but on femininity! Feminism is a political Tower of Babylon to escape the truth of Human Nature. "I'm in America. And I LOVE foreign chicks. They are just so feminine. Here, the chicks act masculine and get fat. They find it shameful to place their time and talents into their family and children (whereas, it should be their greatest joy). "I think it is great honor, joy, privledge, and pleasure to be a Man. Women can trump us as they can be a Mother of Men. There is much glory in masculinity and femininity. But feminists are AGAINST both.