Female Security in LTR's

[Barrister]

I have to agree with @Bokanovsky . Putting a ring on the woman's finger is the quickest way to go from hero to doormat in a woman's eyes. Multiply that ten-fold once you begin having children with her.

You keep a woman on her toes by withholding that ultimate commitment. Some women will exit if you aren't willing to give it up eventually. But frankly, having learned the hard way, your best bet is to keep a non-marital LTR going as long as you can. That way the exit is much easier legally and financially.

 

[SW15]

Putting a ring on the woman's finger is the quickest way to go from hero to doormat in a woman's eyes. Multiply that ten-fold once you begin having children with her.

All relationships experience decay over time. I have long promoted the idea of extended, committed relationships having a shelf life of goodness on this forum.

Marrying a woman and having children with her often speeds up the decay.

You keep a woman on her toes by withholding that ultimate commitment. Some women will exit if you aren't willing to give it up eventually. But frankly, having learned the hard way, your best bet is to keep a non-marital LTR going as long as you can. That way the exit is much easier legally and financially.

I have lived the last 20+ years with this idea in mind. I've always had the goal of extended non-marital LTRs and structured as many relationships as I could in this manner. I like the idea of an easier exit from both a legal and a financial standpoint. Always use protection to help keep the exits easier.

 

[Black Widow Void]

I've had a few women tell me that being married helps them feel secure in a relationship instead of simply being in a committed live in long term relationship without the marriage part.

I've had (that I'm aware of) nine opportunities to marry. Thankfully, no woman has outright proposed, but instead they used passive or passive/aggressive ways to bring up the subject. Like yourself, Duke, I've always wondered about the motivating factors.

Based on my experiences, some women want to fill some position (they are more interested in being married than being inspired by specific man to think of marriage) .

I've also encountered others just like you described. I was particularly close to one of them and after a little wine, got her to expand on her thoughts. I would bet that this applies to your women too.

She said that she's aware of my past with women and feared that some woman might take me away or that I might stray with another woman. And that marriage would remove those fears. On the surface this might sound flattering and sincere. However beneath the surface, I think there's another story.

From a male perspective...the female anxiety and uncertainty they experience are subconsciously the very elements that keep the relationship alive (the woman experiences some emotional drama that they crave). As the old saying goes "familiarity breeds contempt." Based on observation... once a woman feels "secure" (is able to marry) this is usually when they stop taking care of themselves (weight gain) and taking their man and relationship for granted. I'm not saying that this is always the case, but from my observation, it seems quite common.

 

[pipeman84]

You keep a woman on her toes by withholding that ultimate commitment. Some women will exit if you aren't willing to give it up eventually. But frankly, having learned the hard way, your best bet is to keep a non-marital LTR going as long as you can. That way the exit is much easier legally and financially.

That 'withholding commitment' game only works on women who are not wife material anyway.

the female anxiety and uncertainty they experience are subconsciously the very elements that keep the relationship alive (the woman experiences some emotional drama that they crave).

Isn't daily life offering enough anxiety and uncertainty? If not, you can always add to it by taking a vacation, move city, change jobs etc. Sounds laughable to me that a woman must be uncertain if the guy comes home to her or spends the night with other woman in order for the relationship to work.

Based on observation... once a woman feels "secure" (is able to marry) this is usually when they stop taking care of themselves (weight gain)

I think the correlation with age is even higher ... they usually marry over 30yrs old when poor lifestyle habits catches up with them.