Female Friend

[Don Rooster]

Hey guys!
Long time reader, first time poster.

So, I have this friend, she's a girl, and we are very close. First things first, it is not some one-way afc i kiss her ass relationship. So she once came on to me but I resisted her (it just didn't feel right), now I don't know if that was for the best or what but I don't dwell on something I can't affect. Now we both have LTRs of our own but her bf cheats on her/treats her like poo and has split up with her, got back with her all within the last month (heck, he broke up with her twice in a week!) They have since split up again and she is distraught and still really wants him back! It's the whole jerk thing and i can see it all so clearly.

Now I have also hated her bf since before she even knew him so don't recommend to me that I give him a pat on the back for being a total player! It's kinda like a guy you know, and hate, going out with your sister, and treating her like crap.

Now my problem is what do I do/say to her? Bear in mind i have a gf and i'm not trying to lay her, i just want to be a good friend and make her see sense (is there a way to get her unattracted to the jerk? kinda the opposite of what we're going for huh!) whilst not acting like a wuss and have her lose all respect for me!

Thanks guys. Also just out of interest, do many of you have girl "friends"?

 

[Gangster Of Love]

She's a grown up, hopefully. She can fight her own battles. Some people are just adicted to drama and the emotions it brings them. They like the whole "he was a jerk, but he's got plenty of good in him, and now we made up" cycle.

She has very low self esteem, and perhaps doesn't feel she deserves any better. Neither of them has a strong, if any, boundary, so they leach of eachother's insecurities.

Your place is to stay out of it as much as possible. Believe me, she spends a lot less time worrying about her situation than you. She gets a payoff, you don't. Let her work through it, if/when she's ready, it will help her build some character.

 

[DJDamage]

Now my problem is what do I do/say to her? Bear in mind i have a gf and i'm not trying to lay her, i just want to be a good friend and make her see sense (is there a way to get her unattracted to the jerk? kinda the opposite of what we're going for huh!) whilst not acting like a wuss and have her lose all respect for me!

Thanks guys. Also just out of interest, do many of you have girl "friends"?

I REFUSE any relationship with a girl as "friends", only as an acquaintance.

Why? because they get you involved in their life filled drama and treat you like you are in a relationship with them only they don't put out. You might as well use that free time to pursue "real" relationships with women that also cater's to your needs (sexual needs!).

There is something you are not telling us, and I suspect that you would LIKE TO FVCK THIS GIRL, somewhere down the future. Otherwise you wouldn't care how she viewed you and done what you thought best was right. You are also somewhat jealous of this guy, the fact that he can do whatever he wants to do and yet she ends up crawling back to him.

My suggestion: Don't do anything. There is nothing you can do or say that would make this girl not like him. The girl lacks a sense of maturity and reality and that is her problem (not yours as you put it) and choice to stick with this guy.

 

[wheelin&dealin]

The only women I have as legit "friends" are women I work with.

Your situation sounds like you're kinda in love with this broad and jealous that she's with someone else.

 

[Bonafide]

Just dont end up being her tissue for her tears.

 

[bukowski_merit]

kind of strange because i'm going through a similar issue.
before i start - i have 3 best male friends, who i've known for 10 years and i generally don't like other guys; can't flirt with them, can't joke about stupid stuff, get judged a lot harsher... etc....
so i have a lot of female friends... if you saw what some of them look like - you wouldn't be saying that i have secret desires for them or anything...

so, i am going through a similar situation. one of my good friends has been dating a guy off and on who is fuking her head up in a major way. this girl had a lot of things going for her and was on her way to a major life. he's dragged her down and set her back about 5 years. she had a modeling contract before him and lost it because of him. she was going to school and dropped out. he treats her like absolute sh!t, and she crys to me often (i'm not trying to fuk her so i don't care).

i've found though that you just can't talk any sense into her... women are not logical... her emotions have no idea why this guy treats her like she's ugly and worthless, when every other guy treats her like she's a goddess.

he's found the way to hook her... and i can't pull that hook out... and i doubt you can...