Female FR

[everywomanshero]

Snagged a female FR for you guys to read. I think we spend too much time reading male FRs and not enough time on other side of the equation
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Hi everyone, thanks for reading. I posted sometimes in the past but not too often. Please don't be too harsh on me because I get hurt otherwise...

I have a story about a guy that I would like to share. It's kind of long and probably complicated. I met a man during a ball game last month; (pls. consider I am currently in a different country, not in the US). I was at a get together at a private small informal house party. I was not feeling too well, I had just had a fever and was getting over it but decided to go to this party. The man I am referring to walked in only after the game started, but we started talking during the game because he was making remarks about the players, and since he thought he was being rude for yelling at the game, was excusing himself. We talked very little because you can imagine the tense environment of a ball game (not like in the US), plus I was trying to watch and enjoy the game myself. In any case, I noticed he showed interest in me because he came over and gave me a hug as a result of our team having won. It so happened that I ended up hanging out with some friends we have in common and him as well, we went out and walked around town all evening celebrating our victory. I thought he was hot, and still think so, but did not think anything else, I had no idea what to expect because he mentioned to me he has a girlfriend, but it was very brief when he mentioned it, and I did not ask him any questions, wasn't really paying attention to say the truth, wasn't expecting much-I concluded the guy just wanted to get some action as a result that night, actually I wasn't really thinking too straight, I was tired and excited at the same time because of the game. However, about his gf, all I knew was he has not seen his gf in ages (7-8 months) because she lives really far in a different country, although I later found out, a week after seeing him that they've been together long distance four years; it's not that he didn't want to tell me, I just never asked, and it never came up because I thought he did not want anything from me, and why should it matter at this point...I just thought he wanted a booty call. To make a long story short, I know I am guilty just as he is, but we ended up making out that night to the point where we got kind of sexual but did not have sex or foreplay, just kissing and touching, but it was hot. This went on for a few hours, then he took me home and dropped me off in the morning before sunrise. He asked for my contact info and we managed to get together a second and third time. The second time we got together and went out on a date, and we held hands in public, and acted as if we were a couple, we made out, but no sex; We had a fun time, and I really enjoyed spending time with him, and he even walked me home. I kept finding him more and more appealing and attractive...and I can't quite put my finger on it. That evening (the second time I saw him), he actually had already invited me to go to his place for dinner the coming weekend and said he wanted to cook for me, and I told him I wasn't sure...but ultimately I said yes. I was not sure what was going on, still confused...why would this guy want to cook me dinner...why not just have sex and forget about it, if that is what he wants...but in any case attracted and wanting to spend time with him, I said yes without thinking about it too much, but feeling nevertheless a bit weirded out b/c I wasn't sure, why would he do this for me. He told me later that night he was looking for something more than just sex. I thought the whole time all he wanted was sex though, so some things happened as a result...he came to pick me up, he cooked me dinner, and... we engaged in foreplay, and I realized that I am really attracted to this guy, very rarely can a guy turn me on like this...this man has a killer body, and is just very manly and appealing to me. Well, in the end we did not have sex. There were two chances to have sex, the night, and the morning after, but both incidents resulted negatively. Let me explain. Although I would have gladly had intercourse with him, I don't know when he asked me if he could put on a condom I did not say anything...actually, I wanted it very badly but I was afraid he would judge me, or that it would ruin it, and I was thinking of his gf...all very bad timing. I don't remember whether then he asked if I could perform oral sex on him, I believe it happened before he asked to put on a condom to have intercourse, in any case I turned down the oral sex because I did not feel I wanted to take any risks with STDs and I also feel it's too personal so soon with someone new--I don't know what got into me, I have done it with so many guys before without thinking twice. And the day after, I don't know why I was sleeping next to him, and I could not contain myself, I told him I wanted to kiss him, but I really wanted to have sex with him...so, I guess he thought that I wanted to have sex (which is a true assumption), but I think he felt he wanted to wash up since he had not done so yet and he suggested we go in the shower. I agreed, but when the moment came to go in the shower, I started getting self-conscious, and started thinking, and as he kept coming towards me, I kept stepping back, away from him, and I rejected him! In the meantime he was having a full erection...but I felt so uncomfortable about the whole thing, and I am sure he ended up feeling rejected, and I ended up getting angry at myself for not being able to overcome the feeling of pressure and not being able to just let go, but what happened is we never really talked about it because he stormed out of the bathroom. The next day, he emailed me and called me to let me know that he felt bad about the situation, but I did not feel comfortable and waited two days to get back to him!...after which, he came to see me at my workplace by surprise during the week because although we had talked about meeting up he said he could not see me that evening...and that was the last time I saw him! He said he stopped by to see if I was still angry at him. I honestly thought he just felt guilty and wanted to say goodbye to me in person, and having thought this I was very hurt as a result and insulted, and showed it...
I tried communicating and finding a time to explain in person, but it's been weeks now, he has found all sorts of reasons for not meeting up...Since I tried getting some reaction out of him through some messages, he finally wrote that he was in the wrong because besides having a girlfriend and being too busy, although he would like to see me, he is currently experiencing work-related and personal problems..., and to believe him that he does not have the time now. And that was the last time I heard from him...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

D@mnit, what do people have against paragraphs??!!! :cuss:

 

[wayword]

Goes to show how women are born followers waiting to be led by men.

Left to their own devices, they are like rubber duckies spinning around a bathtub drain. They don't even know what the fvck they want, much how to get it. They will literally flip-flop from one minute to the next as they follow their "feelings" instead of brain.

You want a woman to make the right choice? Then don't give her one.

 

[ObieJuan]

Interesting! I've never seen a FR from a woman's perspective. It helps quite a bit knowing what's going through their minds when dating. I'm going to read this a few times to try and match up DJ principles with what she's feeling to get an even better understanding. Thanks everywomanshero

 

[Phyzzle]

Female Field Reports and Female Advice can be summed up by this passage.

I kept finding him more and more appealing and attractive...and I can't quite put my finger on it.

Yeah, real useful info there. This woman has no idea what's going on, and she's there going through it!

However, the guy basically asked her "do you want to have sex now?" As we see, bad idea.

 

[The_Lifter]

"I wanted it very badly but I was afraid he would judge me, or that it would ruin it"

There it is, the little angel on her shoulder whispering "don't be a slut"

 

[jack knife]

This is gold.

 

[Cod3r]

This is beautiful and very interesting read. I've seen from this perspective after I've gotten with certain girls and then we talked about the 'time' leading up to the actual sex or whatever and then I hear their perspective and its kind of the same thing, but to see it written down is another thing... just clarifies my thoughts all along... women just want to be led...

The guy did well, he confused her. He didn't go instantly for sex, he held off and hence got rid of the slvt-defense immediately, but he didn't aggressively go after once she relented, too bad for him... also he failed to create any type of comfort which led to the, 'didn't want him to judge me'. Anyway alot could be said, but yeah females haha don'tu love them


-Cod3r

 

[Tomatoes]

D@mnit, what do people have against paragraphs??!!! :cuss:

Totally agree....Poorly written.


Content is good thow. Like the other posts say. It does just show that women dont know what they want. They need to be told. Men need to lead.

I hate the "I thought he would Judge me" western culture. Its sh!tty.


Where was it found out of intrest? I would suggest telling me in a PM otherwise the site will get a sosuave AFC invasion....Who will prob just shout TROLL everywhere....

 

[wayword]

I hate the "I thought he would Judge me" western culture. Its sh!tty.

I disagree. Nowadays, "sluttiness" is promoted by our GGW pop culture. This is great when you're just out trying to get laid, but really backfires when you want to find a faithful LTR one day.

Slut- Referring to her as 'slut' might backfire as some women enjoy being called sluts. Use the word 'diseased' instead. 80% of sexually active women have herpes (yes, its true. Google it if you don't believe me). Say to her: "Hello Diseased One!" Oh man, she'll hate you. But the shame is true.

Women cheat left and right nowadays because there is no shame in it anymore. So, if you ever want a faithful spouse or gf one day, we have not be afraid to shame s!uts again. You really can't ensure fidelity just on your own, you need the force of peer culture behind you.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

..Content is good thow. Like the other posts say. It does just show that women dont know what they want. They need to be told. Men need to lead....

This is why I tell guys to take the offensive during dates and stop trying to react to whatever the woman does. The saying "the blind leading the blind" comes to mind.

Oh and one other thing. The outcome had a really good chance of being completely different if he had just kept his mouth shut about his girlfriend.

 

[QueRico]

This is good stuff. This guy is a natural but inexperienced, he was only thinking from his point of view and did not empathized with her feelings and perspective.

I thought he was hot, and still think so, but did not think anything else, I had no idea what to expect because he mentioned to me he has a girlfriend,

Ok, she finds him attractive but does not make any illusions because he mentions he is *taken" by his present girlfriend, therefore she does not get her hopes up.

but it was very brief when he mentioned it, and I did not ask him any questions, wasn't really paying attention to say the truth, wasn't expecting much-I concluded the guy just wanted to get some action as a result that night, actually I wasn't really thinking too straight, I was tired and excited at the same time because of the game. However, about his gf, all I knew was he has not seen his gf in ages (7-8 months) because she lives really far in a different country, although I later found out, a week after seeing him that they've been together long distance four years; it's not that he didn't want to tell me, I just never asked, and it never came up because I thought he did not want anything from me, and why should it matter at this point...I just thought he wanted a booty call.

Ok, here PAY ATTENTION!

She finds him attractive.

She knows he is taken.

HOWEVER, she still finds him attractive and would do him, even though he is *taken*. She didn't asked him about the girlfriend because she was afraid he would be put-off and lose his attention and her possible chance at him.

To make a long story short, I know I am guilty just as he is, but we ended up making out that night to the point where we got kind of sexual but did not have sex or foreplay, just kissing and touching, but it was hot.

See, she justifies her actions by attributing guilt on him. EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS HE IS *TAKEN* she does not care and follows her ATTRACTION!

If this guy had more experience he would have been able to pull a ONS, recall she mentions she thought he was out for a bootie call.

The second time we got together and went out on a date, and we held hands in public, and acted as if we were a couple, we made out, but no sex.....I kept finding him more and more appealing and attractive...and I can't quite put my finger on it.

This is chick "crack" or "heroin". He changed the dynamics of the game on her. She would have done him as a one night stand "ONS" because she knows he is taken. The reason she finds him more attractive is that he does not push for sex, therefore she feels he is not into her for her body but for her as a person, this is where he is a natural, he does not show desperation for getting laid. He fails to recognize though that he just increased his value in her eyes to what women call "Boy friend" material.

That evening (the second time I saw him), he actually had already invited me to go to his place for dinner the coming weekend and said he wanted to cook for me, and I told him I wasn't sure...but ultimately I said yes. I was not sure what was going on, still confused...why would this guy want to cook me dinner...why not just have sex and forget about it, if that is what he wants...but in any case attracted and wanting to spend time with him, I said yes without thinking about it too much, but feeling nevertheless a bit weirded out b/c I wasn't sure, why would he do this for me. He told me later that night he was looking for something more than just sex. I thought the whole time all he wanted was sex though, so some things happened as a result

Again, his inexperience comes through and solidifies his value as "Boyfriend" material and she confirms she would have had a ONS with him.

By telling her that he wants something more than sex, he signals to her he is amenable to dump his present girlfriend for her, this means that she now must not act like a slut because she now must appear as "girlfriend" material.

Bad move on his part. If a girl still hangs around you while knowing you are taken, she is signaling you she finds you attractive and amenable to doing you.

I realized that I am really attracted to this guy, very rarely can a guy turn me on like this...this man has a killer body, and is just very manly and appealing to me. Well, in the end we did not have sex. There were two chances to have sex, the night, and the morning after, but both incidents resulted negatively. Let me explain. Although I would have gladly had intercourse with him, I don't know when he asked me if he could put on a condom I did not say anything...actually, I wanted it very badly but I was afraid he would judge me, or that it would ruin it, and I was thinking of his gf...all very bad timing.

Here is were his prior words backfires, she now must appear as GF material and not like a slut. He should have never said he wanted anything more than sex, he should just have kept silent and let her assume anything on her part.

but when the moment came to go in the shower, I started getting self-conscious, and started thinking, ..... I ended up getting angry at myself for not being able to overcome the feeling of pressure and not being able to just let go,

Guys, always keep this in mind: "Women want relationships" they are like drugs to them, this does not mean they will only have sex while in a relationship, they are also open to ONS!! Specially if they hang around even after they know you are taken!

Do not underestimate the negative power women attribute to the perception of appearing as a slut. You must not let them feel you will see them as a slut.
(Once you are in a relationship that rule does not apply, some girls think is kinky if you call them a slut while having sex, but you must be in a relationship with them)

My two shillings.

 

[wayword]

I turned down the oral sex because I did not feel I wanted to take any risks with STDs and I also feel it's too personal so soon with someone new--I don't know what got into me, I have done it with so many guys before without thinking twice.

Yup, here's the perfect example of how women are driven by irrational emotions, and only use "logic" to rationalize it after the fact.

See, the fact that she had done this countless times before discredits all her reasonings why she didn't this time. And, she even admits this. Can't even explainn her own f'n actions. Now how f'n pathetic, yet typical, is that?

No wonder it's hard to fully understand women. They can't even do it themselves.