md3sign
Senior Don Juan
Guys .. I need help. I'd appreciate some thoughtful input because this is kinda serious to me and I need a side perspective that isn't clouded like my own has become.
I'm finding myself in an interesting situation. First, a bit of background:
I've never been much of a player. I've never dated more than one girl at a time almost all the girls I've ever hung out with have developed into relationships, lasting anywhere from 3 weeks to a year. I've been single since May of last year and have taken the opportunity to change a lot about myself. I also got into the casual dating game a bit, got laid a few times, hung out with several different girls, but nothing that really stood out in my mind.
Moving along ...
I met this girl online mid December. I was on vacation at the time, but we kept in contact via email on a daily basis and finally got together when I returned in early January. To this day, we have hung out 5 times, once at my place, twice at hers, and twice as action dates that ended up at her house.
After our first date, I decided to wait a week before getting together again. That entire week she would send me texts, emails, and call me each night. I would talk to her for about 5-10 minutes a night because, well, it made me feel good. She said things like "I kinda like hangin out with ya" and "I kinda miss ya" and "do I have to wait so long to see you again". Basically right where I wanted her.
Our second date she definitely dressed to impress, "goods" clearly visible and all. This get together went very well too and I ended up fingering her. She didn't return the favor but I didn't mind at the time. We ended up sleeping at her place, just cuddling. I guess I could have tried to push for sex but for some reason I decided not to.
The next couple days I still got texts and phone calls, a bit less but they came nevertheless, and some were like "I miss you" etc.
Third date was about half a week later .. a movie night in at her place. I made my move and she was perfectly fine with everything (most clothes off, fingering), but I got shot down when I went to remove the panties. No sex for me, she said "we shouldn't". I played it cool like it didn't phase me. We ended up sleeping at her place again. Again no direct action for me. The only action she ever initiates is kissing, but it's usually me who has to lead to a full-fledged makeout.
Somewhere between all this there was one night when she didn't call me. I ended up calling her before bed and in a fun way brought up the fact. Long story short I don't think it was a bad move because this was the first time I took the initiative to call her (not just returning a missed call but actually calling her). The texts become more sparse at this point.
Fourth date about half a week later - another action one, ended up at her place, watched a movie, made out, cuddled, went to sleep. I did some stupid AFC stuff here though. Your mouth is your worst enemy and I definitely learned that. That night I couldn't fall asleep, she would ask why and I ended up telling her she frustrates me. I never said anything direct relating to the fact that we're in bed together for the 3rd night and I'm still not gettin tail, but I certainly implied it.
I ended up sending her an email the next day since that's one of our methods of communication. I felt like an AFC after letting her in on my feelings (implicitly) and it just got the best of me. But she replied, then sent me one the next morning. I called her shortly thereafter and randomly set up plans to get together at her place for movie night later since I was going to be at a friend's house nearby anyway to work on a project.
Again, movie, cuddle, and some solid makeout at the end. I didn't spend the night this time. We were both tired and had to get up early so I went home.
Tonight I decided I wasn't going to call her if she didn't call me. Well she did, we talked briefly and set up a get together this coming weekend, possibly one mid week as well (though I'm guessing it's better to just wait a week?).
Anyway ...
I barely get any texts now, almost no emails, but she still calls once a day. In other words, things seem to be "cooling off", which is bull because I still haven't gotten any action and sure the kissing is great but you get the idea. I think it may have been because I made myself too easily attainable.
Normally I would just follow my gut feeling with all this, but I'd like to get some other input and discuss further steps because ...
She has potential.
So far everything lines up. She's getting her masters, she has a solid career choice with a solid paycheck, she's very organized, doesn't waste her time partying and doing stupid crap, and is very smart. In other words - LTR material. And she's hot (obviously).
Even my mother approves. And she never approves of my girls lol.
So I need a plan of attack on how to handle this next week and the time after that. It's not that I don't think I can get this girl into an LTR - I'm pretty confident I can. But I've been in LTRs where it took FOREVER to get some and one where I never got any (although I did get head almost every day). Anyway I want to get some action and either she's ridiculously passive (which I refuse to believe) or she just doesn't feel she needs to satisfy me for me to stick around.
In other words, I need to come up with a way to imply that if we're going to pursue this (which I want to) she's gonna have to put forth some more effort into things.
Are there really girls out there (virgins excluded) who take a loooong time to get in bed or is it just a skill issue?
Thanks for reading and help me out! I want to see where I can take this but at the same time I have my needs.
I'm finding myself in an interesting situation. First, a bit of background:
I've never been much of a player. I've never dated more than one girl at a time almost all the girls I've ever hung out with have developed into relationships, lasting anywhere from 3 weeks to a year. I've been single since May of last year and have taken the opportunity to change a lot about myself. I also got into the casual dating game a bit, got laid a few times, hung out with several different girls, but nothing that really stood out in my mind.
Moving along ...
I met this girl online mid December. I was on vacation at the time, but we kept in contact via email on a daily basis and finally got together when I returned in early January. To this day, we have hung out 5 times, once at my place, twice at hers, and twice as action dates that ended up at her house.
After our first date, I decided to wait a week before getting together again. That entire week she would send me texts, emails, and call me each night. I would talk to her for about 5-10 minutes a night because, well, it made me feel good. She said things like "I kinda like hangin out with ya" and "I kinda miss ya" and "do I have to wait so long to see you again". Basically right where I wanted her.
Our second date she definitely dressed to impress, "goods" clearly visible and all. This get together went very well too and I ended up fingering her. She didn't return the favor but I didn't mind at the time. We ended up sleeping at her place, just cuddling. I guess I could have tried to push for sex but for some reason I decided not to.
The next couple days I still got texts and phone calls, a bit less but they came nevertheless, and some were like "I miss you" etc.
Third date was about half a week later .. a movie night in at her place. I made my move and she was perfectly fine with everything (most clothes off, fingering), but I got shot down when I went to remove the panties. No sex for me, she said "we shouldn't". I played it cool like it didn't phase me. We ended up sleeping at her place again. Again no direct action for me. The only action she ever initiates is kissing, but it's usually me who has to lead to a full-fledged makeout.
Somewhere between all this there was one night when she didn't call me. I ended up calling her before bed and in a fun way brought up the fact. Long story short I don't think it was a bad move because this was the first time I took the initiative to call her (not just returning a missed call but actually calling her). The texts become more sparse at this point.
Fourth date about half a week later - another action one, ended up at her place, watched a movie, made out, cuddled, went to sleep. I did some stupid AFC stuff here though. Your mouth is your worst enemy and I definitely learned that. That night I couldn't fall asleep, she would ask why and I ended up telling her she frustrates me. I never said anything direct relating to the fact that we're in bed together for the 3rd night and I'm still not gettin tail, but I certainly implied it.
I ended up sending her an email the next day since that's one of our methods of communication. I felt like an AFC after letting her in on my feelings (implicitly) and it just got the best of me. But she replied, then sent me one the next morning. I called her shortly thereafter and randomly set up plans to get together at her place for movie night later since I was going to be at a friend's house nearby anyway to work on a project.
Again, movie, cuddle, and some solid makeout at the end. I didn't spend the night this time. We were both tired and had to get up early so I went home.
Tonight I decided I wasn't going to call her if she didn't call me. Well she did, we talked briefly and set up a get together this coming weekend, possibly one mid week as well (though I'm guessing it's better to just wait a week?).
Anyway ...
I barely get any texts now, almost no emails, but she still calls once a day. In other words, things seem to be "cooling off", which is bull because I still haven't gotten any action and sure the kissing is great but you get the idea. I think it may have been because I made myself too easily attainable.
Normally I would just follow my gut feeling with all this, but I'd like to get some other input and discuss further steps because ...
She has potential.
So far everything lines up. She's getting her masters, she has a solid career choice with a solid paycheck, she's very organized, doesn't waste her time partying and doing stupid crap, and is very smart. In other words - LTR material. And she's hot (obviously).
Even my mother approves. And she never approves of my girls lol.
So I need a plan of attack on how to handle this next week and the time after that. It's not that I don't think I can get this girl into an LTR - I'm pretty confident I can. But I've been in LTRs where it took FOREVER to get some and one where I never got any (although I did get head almost every day). Anyway I want to get some action and either she's ridiculously passive (which I refuse to believe) or she just doesn't feel she needs to satisfy me for me to stick around.
In other words, I need to come up with a way to imply that if we're going to pursue this (which I want to) she's gonna have to put forth some more effort into things.
Are there really girls out there (virgins excluded) who take a loooong time to get in bed or is it just a skill issue?
Thanks for reading and help me out! I want to see where I can take this but at the same time I have my needs.
and thought it was all over. Well I guess it's not. A few days passed and she sent me a lengthy email just telling me what she was up to and that we should hang out soon. She said she had a pretty crazy week so it's best I just tell her what day works for me, so I offered friday evening.