feeling sh!tty about women

[blackhatter]

This isn't your typical cry about women post.

I slept with a girl last night who had a boyfriend. She seemed like a great girl, nice to everyone, caring; However even with her boyfriend of 3 years blowing her phone up all night, she rode my c0ck like a devil.

Now you say- who cares?

But I look back to my past relationship in which my ex wouldn't pickup her phone a few nights and I would wonder what's really going.

What a sh!tty world we live in.

Don't get me wrong, I know it benefits us as men as well, but when you want to settle down with a woman, how do you know?

A girl who seemed completely innocent was taking it 8 inches deep while her boyfriend was obviously up all night thinking about her.

It makes me NOT want to turn any women I chill with into wife material. It's just too much emotion to put in to something that can come crashing down with a one night stand with some other dude.

Has anyone found the solution? Or do we just tread through this bullsh!t and suck it up?

 

[KontrollerX]

I think a good solution for you would be to view life and women this way...

Love the traits of a woman, love her hair, love her face, love her body, love the company that she provides you with but never look to her for a connection or genuine love.

Love a woman's traits and good qualities basically but do not expect to get the love from modern women that they are not willing or capable of giving.

Do not desire or seek out a genuine connection with which to build a life upon with a woman.

There are too many options for women to choose from to run away with like a kid in a candy store once you get boring or old to her and more importantly the modern society we live in will not hold women accountable via any peer pressure to remain loyal to your relationship.

This sick society rewards bad behavior and so you must learn to exist within this corrupt system.

And this doesn't mean you are to become a loveless creature.

Rather be yourself, live, love, laugh and be happy and just only expect from today's women the only things they will be willing to give you which is sex, their at times pleasing presence and a few laughs.

Expecting anything more from them than that is like expecting the sun not to rise tomorrow.

You will end up dissapointed to do so.

 

[blackhatter]

Anyone who says KX is not one of the best (if not the best) poster on this board is smoking the crack rock.

Thanks for the reply

However are you saying that it's impossible for women to love genuinely permanently? I'm aware that women can love genuinely temporarily, but is there ever a guarantee that she will love you as long as you love her?

I mean it seems to me as long as you remain an attractive and high quality individual, there's no reason for her to leave you unless she finds someone who's worlds better.

Also, should I feel guilty about banging girls with boyfriends? One part of me says that he deserves it if he didn't see it coming, but the other part of me says "I can do better than that."

 

[vorbis]

blackhatter, I don't get it. you're out sleeping with a chick you know has a boyfriend and then you're complaining about chicks not being loyal??

The chick is the one doing the cheating but you're not blameless either. Society might also be a bit better if guys weren't so desperate that they need to bone attached women. If you want other people to adhere to morals or standards you need to start with yourself.

 

[ProtoMan1]

blackhatter, you are a fvching douche. I hope that guy beats your @ss and fvcks your mom.

 

[ready123]

Anyone who says KX is not one of the best (if not the best) poster on this board is smoking the crack rock.

Thanks for the reply

However are you saying that it's impossible for women to love genuinely permanently? I'm aware that women can love genuinely temporarily, but is there ever a guarantee that she will love you as long as you love her?

I mean it seems to me as long as you remain an attractive and high quality individual, there's no reason for her to leave you unless she finds someone who's worlds better.

Also, should I feel guilty about banging girls with boyfriends? One part of me says that he deserves it if he didn't see it coming, but the other part of me says "I can do better than that."

well here's my take, and I'm a minority voice here so...

it is possible, but a relationship of that quality is rare. regardless, I'll take it further and say if that's what you're looking for, it's worth going after, even though you might fail

obviously you look around and you see that most relationships don't work. there are a ton of different reasons - people don't know what they want, people lack experience, people have trust issues, etc. some of these you can remedy (IE learning how to qualify and getting experience helps you screen out all the psycho women), some are beyond your control. it doesn't mean all relationships are doomed to fail though. this is not an absolute thing. you need to decide for yourself if it's worth the pain of potentially getting burnt though

me personally, I've gone back and forth over the last decade between exclusive LTR's and being in playa mode. To me, sex is a mandatory baseline but I enjoy depth when it's there. Everytime I've gotten in an exclusive LTR, I hope for the best. And if I don't get it or it ends bad, at this point in my life, it doesn't paralyze me. I've gone through the feeling enough times that it's lost its power and I got enough self-trust to know when something is my fault and when it isn't. Maybe I'll feel bad for a short period of time, then I'll move on

now here's an interesting question for you to think about. say you did find that girl who you had a connection with and she was never gonna cheat on you. would YOU fvck it up?

 

[Drewskie]

It's funny, I was thinking the excat same thing, especially after reading many threads here. I wonder if all those times my girlfriends "fell asleep early", they were actually getting rocked. I also agree that Kontroller is one of the better posters here. As far as being a douche, I guess it's fvcked up to be banging another guys girl, but at the same time, if it's not you it'll be someone else so why not take advantage. This is the exact reason I plan on not getting married, a cheating girlfriend is one thing, but a wife......:box:

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Her interest level in her bf is too low for a reason you don't know about, or maybe she's just not a quality girl to start out with and her bf did not read the red flags because he was blindly infatuated with her. There is always a bottom line for everything.

 

[DrD77]

i think kontroller x is a dumbass. i think he has dealt with the wrong kind of woman because there are women out there that will love you genuinely. **** you kontroller x and stop trying to pollute our minds. why don't you guys just suck his d!ck.

 

[DonJuan11]

This isn't your typical cry about women post.

I slept with a girl last night who had a boyfriend. She seemed like a great girl, nice to everyone, caring; However even with her boyfriend of 3 years blowing her phone up all night, she rode my c0ck like a devil.

Now you say- who cares?

Yes we do. You got off with a hot girl. More than half the people on here envy you.

But I look back to my past relationship in which my ex wouldn't pickup her phone a few nights and I would wonder what's really going.

What a sh!tty world we live in.

Don't get me wrong, I know it benefits us as men as well, but when you want to settle down with a woman, how do you know?

A girl who seemed completely innocent was taking it 8 inches deep while her boyfriend was obviously up all night thinking about her.

LOL. No problem with the ego I can see.

It makes me NOT want to turn any women I chill with into wife material. It's just too much emotion to put in to something that can come crashing down with a one night stand with some other dude.

Has anyone found the solution? Or do we just tread through this bullsh!t and suck it up?

Read what Kontroller said.

 

[Halloween]

I used to take some martial arts, and we had these little get-togethers afterwards at Boston's Pizza or whatever. One night it dwindled down to me, two married ladies (Carrie and Eliza), and this other guy, I'll call him Tim.

Tim was around 30. Not good looking, but super casual and awesome to hang out with.

We ended up going to Tim's.

He gave us the tour. Guy's got a nice pad... but then you notice he's got pornos out in the open, jizz stains on his bed (I was too much in awe that he didn't care that we could see them to be disgusted). It's a sex den.

I think they kept me around for their entertainment. I was this young guy, cheap, quiet, happy drunk. They're feeding me wine, beer, whatever.

Still, I can tell I'm cramping Tim's style. He's on the couch with them, I'm on a recliner. He's doing wacky stuff like rubbing both their thighs at the same time, feeling them up, etc. I'm drifting in and out of sleep.

Eventually Eliza takes me home, to go back to her own family (she's married and has two kids). But Carrie stays behind at this guy's place and I can only assume they f#cked.

...so who is Carrie's husband? Why did he deserve this?

Carrie's husband is an AWESOME guy. Honestly he was good looking, funny, just really really cool. I aspire to be cool like him one day and I'm not just saying that. How could she DO that to him?

Here's how: one of Carrie's husband's friends was in town, staying over, and Carrie didn't like this guy much so she had a "f#ck him" attitude about her husband that night...

I don't mean to come off as misogynistic. That's not who I am. But that shattered my reality, man.

I remember sitting in Eliza's car thinking, "Boy, was I ever wrong about the world..."

 

[MisterMcGee]

Dating too many club/bar chicks? KX's advice will ring true to you.
Dating genuine quality girls? Get your head out of the drain

 

[MetalFortress]

No girl is completely innocent. The sooner that old misconception dies, the better.

 

[Halloween]

ps

tonight I made out with a girl who is engaged.

(edit: reworded to be un-ambiguous)

 

[Jesus]

I don't think women cheat any more than men, or any less, necessarily. I just think it's a lot harder to spot the cheaters when it comes to women, even after getting to know them for a while,

 

[SharinganUser]

One solution would be to find a nice rural woman from some foreign country.

 

[Darth]

Dating too many club/bar chicks? KX's advice will ring true to you.
Dating genuine quality girls? Get your head out of the drain

Bingo. There are your outright slvts, your girls that "seem" innocent but then go out and do stuff like the OP described, and then there are the true good girls.

But if your mind is set to believe that all girls are a certain way, then lo and behold, you will never actually come into contact with the "good girls." In fact, the good girls are probably the ones that you next for not putting out right away, so you never realize what you've got.

I tend to have pretty good intuition about which camp category girls go into, very shortly after meeting them. There are some dead giveaways in the way they act and speak. But sometimes you can be wrong. Also, it's hard to find the truly good girls nowadays because they make up fewer of the population and like another poster has said, they are usually snatched up quickly. Competition is fierce.

But as for the "all girls can be secret slvts" line..... absolute bull.

 

[Arizona iced tea]

However are you saying that it's impossible for women to love genuinely permanently? I'm aware that women can love genuinely temporarily, but is there ever a guarantee that she will love you as long as you love her?

sure, some women are quality and can love/be loved. but what the main focus of KX's post was, which he stated at the top of his post, that you can't expect anything of women. now, just because you can't expect it doesn't mean it cant happen, but if you do expect it then you run a great risk of being burned or disappointed.

simply put, don't expect love from a woman, but be open to it.

 

[Brutus]

To address this "good girl vs. bad girl" thing... Sure there are differences between women, but don't be naive... Loyalty, integrity, honor... This is a man's code, not woman's.

 

[KontrollerX]

Well the thing you have to understand my friend is sadly there are no guarantees about anything in life. Well death and taxes but other than that the future is very much fluid and always in motion and always changing with endless possibilities negative and positive according to our individual perceptions that we all are going to have to deal with as they come.

And to answer your question more thoroughly I will say that as human beings we are fundamentally selfish creatures which means we try and secure as many resources and benefits for ourselves over other people as we can and though we might not think it when it comes to relationships and aquiring them we are selfish in our selections. We want the hot girl, the one with the nice t!ts or the great ass or both or one with the bubbly personality or one that is funny etc. We avoid the undesireables without a second thought or a guilty conscience.

In short we have a specific selfish predatory agenda with our selections and this is obvious.

And when we find that thing, that woman we desire and we get her you have to wonder do we actually love her the person or are we in love with her traits, her physical appeal, the parts of her personality that are pleasing to us? And perhaps we are indeed in love with all of that but is that really the totality of who she is as a person? Are we loving the total embodiment of her being or just the parts of her that we like?? And if its only a love for the parts can we in truth say we fully love this person?

I don't think we can, I think we're far too selfish as a species and shy away from what we find to be negative and ugly or too dark and just focus on loving what we want to see about a woman we get involved with.

The same selfishness as humans of course applies to women.

Do they really love you blackhatter or are they in love with the concept of a relationship? or do they have a marriage agenda and are in love with that which is why a particular woman displays such a manipulative high interest in you? Are they in love with the concept of being the girlfriend of??? As in say you were a man of high status that they could elevate themselves in the eyes of others for being on the arm of.

What I'm getting at is when you really break it down we as humans are not in love with people but with our own selfish agendas. Thats what we really love and when we think we are being "good" and "moral" as a result of fighting to defend someone we love are we really not just protecting our own selfish investment?

And when an honest person answers yes to that question the concept of good and moral falls away and they realize true goodness and morality does not exist within us but selfishness and what benefits us as individual animals does exist within us and thus it is useful to embrace this truth and realize that when people speak of good and evil those two terms are spoken from that person's individual point of view which is more honestly summed up in what benefits me is good and what doesn't benefit me is evil and another person out there is going to have a completely different idea of what good and evil is to his own life and thus these ideas of good and evil are not consistent but individually determined.

So don't waste your life looking for "genuine" selfless love from another fellow selfish animal that being a woman as selfless or rather unselfish genuine love does not exist. We always have an agenda and our love man or woman is always conditional.

Rather I think your question should be re-structured to ask is there anything I can do in order to keep a pleasing female companion with me my entire life or at least so long as I want her there?

And I would then answer your re-structured question and remind you that there are still no guarantees in life but you can go for the best chance of attaining your goal for seeking out a woman who has the same selfish goals as you and the same selfish wants. I'd tell you look for a woman that is talking about marriage constantly and has a relationship agenda or look for a woman that has an agenda of wanting a long term boyfriend and voices these desires constantly. After all if you both are fighting for the same selfish goals logic dictates you'd have the best chance of acheiving your goals as you are no longer trying to swim upstream to attain them but are rather working together to acheive what you both selfishly want and desire.

To put it another way you are no longer trying to turn a ho into a housewife or fit a square key into a round peg.

And to put it an even clearer way I'll say quite simply you are no longer trying to sell someone else on your agenda and hoping your sales pitch worked rather you are getting involved with someone whose already bought the same item as you and wants to be on your team so you both can help eachother keep your items in good condition for as long as possible and yes this is a marriage analogy.

"finds someone who's worlds better."

Well remember we men value our logic like this but women value their emotions over all and you can be the ultimate top dog player around and hitting it the best she's ever had it but if you do not have her emotions and sense of drama surrounding you amped up to the moon you will lose her eventually. That is her selfish need that you must cater to and listen closely for and respond properly with both strength and tenderness the balance of which must be kept to prevent either turning her off with AFC sympishness or being a bit too overbearing and going too far with the strength player DJ mentality. Balance my friend is key. Respond to and listen for those emotional needs of her's with an open ear and a balanced approach. Also one last point to make about a woman's emotions is you can be everything that is great and awesome but for some chicks particularly young ones even an awesome guy like this can become old and there is nothing you can do except fvck her really good and then cut her loose for a while to go sample other c0cks and eventually you'll become desired again and she'll hop back on yours.

"Also, should I feel guilty about banging girls with boyfriends? One part of me says that he deserves it if he didn't see it coming, but the other part of me says "I can do better than that."

Again we are all selfish animals at our core. This doesn't mean you always have to fulfill the selfish sexual desires that you have as your mind is at times producing a guilt response or a disgust response at a girl who would cheat on her man.

So I say go with the emotion that strikes you in the moment.

If its disgust for such a girl walk away and find a single chick to bone.

If its not disgust and you are turned on by the girl hit it until sunrise my friend.

Whatever feeling hits you in the moment you should indulge yourself in.

Also a little tip for getting over this guilt is to ask yourself if that girl's boyfriend or any guy out there would hesitate to bone your girl?

Maybe a highly morally believing dude like TheHumanist would avoid doing such a thing but you and I know most guys wouldn't so you can justify boning the girl to yourself for that reason and another reason you could use is if its not me its just going to be someone else so it might as well be me or the third rationalization you can use is you are doing this guy a favor as perhaps his girl will get some kind of guilt response over time from boning all these other guys and he'll eventually find out about her cheating and get rid of her as a result of that making his life better in the process.

Also I saw a misguided post on the forum not long ago where some poster returned to the board after a long hiatus and talked about how using the information here over the years made him guilty about all the girls he boned and left behind broken hearted.

I want to tell you now that a way to avoid this guy's kind of guilt and it is this...

Present yourself as extremely non judgemental to every girl you involve yourself with in the future if you are not doing it already. By doing this each girl you are with will tell you exactly how they are and how they treat guys in their relationships and in this way you will see your future with them played out if you go down certain paths with them.

Most of the time the most outwardly wholesome and kind appearing girls that you will meet will vomit up story after story of lust and betrayel in their lives with their pathetic justifications for it said in that sweet female voice and giggle which all too often serves to throw us off and make us forget how wicked the information we just heard was. It also helps us forget because it is we who are now that current girl's object of lust.

Indeed you can learn a lot about a girl's true character by playing a non judgemental role when you involve yourself in her life and that is what the simpletons in this thread who "just don't get it" were missing when they insulted me with the typical "oh you're just going after barflies bro" type of garbage non thinking knee jerk responses. Guys like this are angry with me and those of my mentality because I ruin their fantasies of nice and sweet girls with the crushing and brutal reality that none of us are sweet, nice, kind, wholesome or loving. We are all selfish animals out for #1 first.

Anyway again the nice girls these guys claim to be nice are not nice at all and their AFC true love fantasies will never happen as its impossible for it to happen as again even if you get what you want its all based on selfishness and that is not true love. Selfish creatures that we are only have the capability of desiring sex and condition based selfish companionship.

So the best we can hope for in this life or at least the best a person in life with a relationship agenda can hope to find is another person of the opposite sex with that same selfish agenda.