Feeling pissed by something i just saw.

[Last Man Standing]

Latinoman says this...

I won't give an opinion because I know you live in Asia and I'm assuming she is from Asia. Not understanding very well the customs, I am not in a position to give you solid advice.

Then Latinoman says this...

Dump her.

Hahaha :crackup:

Instead of becoming a better girl & bringing out her man's potential making him happy, she's nagging and yelling everyday.

Spare my ears!

Damn Skippy!! This is exactly the attitude that needs to be promoted on this site!!!

 

[Latinoman]

LMS - Have you heard an Asian woman whining and screaming? Very annoying...heck...very annoying regardless of ethnicity.

 

[Last Man Standing]

LMS - Have you heard an Asian woman whining and screaming? Very annoying...heck...very annoying regardless of ethnicity.

Yes, it is an universal annoyance to men - no matter the ethnicity -- history books from thousands of years ago speak of women nagging and whining. Some of it is good because some men do not uphold their manly duties and they need a kick and a yell to motivate them!

However, the average man doesn't like noise or disorder in the household - we are disciplinarians and seek order! A woman's unjustifiable nagging is heard as discordance to the male's ears and he either yells at her to shut up or leaves the house to avoid a conflict. It is intolerable to men because nagging is not solution oriented!!

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Updates?

 

[Incremental]

next her ass

if you do hit it before ya quit it, stick it in her pooper.

 

[DjVelvet]

Some of it is good because some men do not uphold their manly duties and they need a kick and a yell to motivate them!

I am guilty for not upholding certain manly duties. In short i fall to the "relationship comfort zone", she turned naggy. In fact, I won't completely blame her on that.

It's one mistake made by a lot of guys in a relationship, and made by me.

But then again, it does not justify her being extremely naggy, finding small faults everyday

 

[DjVelvet]

I have not contacted her, same for her, we are busy doing our own stuffs. I was seeing amd fukking an old FB the whole of today.

I have to admit, I still think of her, sometimes even wanna call her... Heck i'm a human. But i always think of the way she find arguments and her poor attitude to suppress the intention of calling.

Was thinking about Ricky's post about preemp dumping at the same time..

Something i wanna ask you guys.

About dumping..

In the past, I had always "performed" silent breakups. As in, I will not contact the girl or answer her calls when the relationship is shaky. (Even if i do answer, i will just say i'm busy) I will not even telling her "You are out". I just disappear. She has no idea that i am actaully giving her up until she discover that i have not been answering calls after a prolong period. No chance for me or her to verbalize the "Break up". Mentally i just treat everything as a dead case. ie. Doing it Covertly. It does make the girl suffers but it is just what i prefer.

Or.. Verbalizing it (Telling her straight) when she contacts you.

Views?

 

[KontrollerX]

You're doing things the right way Velvet.

You should read Str8up's topic about walking away.

Always better not to give the chick any reaction at all even the respect of telling her its over.

 

[DjVelvet]

Is this the one?
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=129594

It's a great read!

 

[KontrollerX]

Thats the one.

He even has a followup post that kicks just as much a** but unfortunately I forgot the title of it.

 

[decades]

I am in the camp that says there is not enough info here to know what's going on. How is it you saw this message? Are you an internet snoop? I would need more evidence than this to next a woman who was my GF. If you sense she wants her single life back then this message is more troubling and I would have her on a short leash.

 

[DjVelvet]

I am in the camp that says there is not enough info here to know what's going on. How is it you saw this message? Are you an internet snoop? I would need more evidence than this to next a woman who was my GF. If you sense she wants her single life back then this message is more troubling and I would have her on a short leash.

It doesn't matter whether how i got to see the msg.

My mind is straight. I'm walking away.

Reason.. She's disrespecting me in all aspect of the relationship. I'm not happy with her. She's not bringing out the full potential in me. Sex is not as good. Too much quarrels. Enough for me.

 

[DjVelvet]

Double post

 

[Last Man Standing]

Seeing her message was the "last straw" that reinforced what you already knew - the relationship is no longer worthwhile! Women don't tell men they are leaving until they have another b/f - I suggest you do the same - just don't get her pregnant!!

Replace b/f with g/f in this case.

 

[FlyBoyFoy]

Sound Advice. I'm in a similar situation myself but, me and this girl haven't been exclusive. I care for her but she's on another tangent lately trying to get me jealous and shyt. She went to go see her ex over the weekend as she stated she would, but had the nerve to call me @ 5;45 Saturday right b4 my football game. Aint that flakeizm to the mu%haPhuckin Fullest? I wanted to love and fvck this chic, but I'm feeling like doing neither now. Guess I gotta start treating her like those damn stripperz hoez I used to work with. This is my first recorded post but I've been a member for two or three years now. Any more tactics I can use to game this classy(or not ) chic? I'm at a brainstorming fart when it comes to this bytch:moon:

 

[MacAvoy]

EDIT: Don't quit her 'til you hit her in the shyter

Classic

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Didn't want to threadjack in the beginning STR8, but since it's winding down now,..

Let me ask you this. What if your girl expressed to you that she likes girls too. Maybe she won't even call herself bisexual. Maybe she hasn't even done anything with a chick, but she expresses interest in it.

Would you feel the same about letting her hang out with FEMALE friends?

It has the potential to turn sexual, so do you lock her in the closet?

You see the problem is I see this in nothing BUT shades of grey, because it's the convenient use of the definition of 'friends' that causes so much confusion. 90% of the time 'friends' is a term that's a useful tool to basically excuse behavior. In a LJBF rejection it exploits the idea of friendship to blunt a rejection, when no actual friendship is engaged in. Guys take this further by using it to rationalize their behavior in single-mindedly pursuing their ONEitis. In this situation the girl again uses the idea to justify her wanting to engage in a behavior that would otherwise arouse suspicion from the BF.

The reason it's so useful is because it is a (generally) unassailable, black & white inferrence. Sorry for the $10 words, but the way friendship is viewed is universally 'friends' or 'not friends.' That's why it's an easy fallback; no one "should" tell anyone they can't be friends with someone, it's a personal choice. How dare you tell me who my friends can be?! See how it's easy to draw a binary conclusion? It's not that you can or cannot be friends with a man or a woman, it's the motivations and degree of friendship where the grey area is. It's practically second nature for both sexes to use this for our own rationalizations as well as disclaimers to excuse what we'd really like to be doing.

So lets answer your question now; the guy in me naturally thinks "hmm, my wife suddenly bisexual? 3-way here I come!', but that's not the issue. The issue is, is there's now a gap in trusting her to be friends with men and women - double whammy. To which I'll simply give the answer I give when guys pee themselves over a girls night out - she's free to go do whatever she'd like. In fact I'd encourage it. You see, I don't "allow" my wife to do anything, nor does she "allow" me to do anything, because we're both playing on the same team. That's where confidence makes you a man, when you can say "go ahead, have a good time." It's what's implied in the action that counts. If a woman (or man) wants to cheat, they'll find a way to do it, with or without your knowledge. The only person who's actions you can control are your own. Now, would it suck to break up an 11 year marriage over that? Yes, but I'd rather it be dissolved than to live disingenuously one minute longer than necessary.

Your question is more about possessiveness than friendship. If I locked my wife up in a closet that only makes me insecure about my relationship and changes the nature of my marriage. In fact, in doing so the frame automatically transfers to a woman the moment you become possessive, because you confirm for her that you lack the confidence to generate new options - to be a man that other women would desperately want should she decide to cheat. My wife is 100% free to cheat should she choose to do so, as am I, but there are immediate and irreversible consequence as a result of that behavior. You must be a Man that your GF/Wife doesn't want to cheat on. Sometimes a woman can't appreciate this because she's too immature to get it, but you have to be the Man confident enough to say "do what you want."

 

[captn caveman]

After reading all the posts and DjVelvet's updates, there is only one thisg I can say, and that is, Walk Away with your head high.

Meeting some other man behind your back, somebody who tried to hit on her, not somebody she considers "brother"...

constant fighting initiated by her

nagging...

This shows she is finishing the relationship in her head, and since she can blame the fighting on your inconsiderate behaviour, of course, as "inconsiderate" defined by her, she will feel you were the one resposnbile for the break up.

This makes it possible in her head to connect with that new guy without guilt of having destroyed your relationship, and the willingness on his side is already there, so it is a low risk try.

Let's see: She is setting grounds for a "not my fault" break up, and already has a branch...

I see another way of going with this, but that is very difficult, and walking away is the sane thing to do. Because even if you succeed with the thing below, there is no guaranteee she will go "where is my life" again in the future.

The problem here is her high expectations, and you not meeting them.

DO NOT TELL HER YOU KNOW ABOUT THE LUNCH.

You do not want to be the stalker, or the jealous boyfriend.

Blame it on her being bad company, and that you have no interest in dealing with that kind of behavior.

---------------

What else can be done is that, on a day when she has not negged you, or started a fight, on a day when she behaved nice respectful, as good company does, then you do something with her that will create a heavy flow of emotion. but, you do it only because you want to do it, and only when she has been on good behavior.

Let her feel these emotions. These beautiful heavy emotions.

On the first sign of her going amok on you, pull back, take away all the emotions you give her, including anger. Be indifferent, and let her feel the void of your missing from the scene.

This may make her see what she has lost and make her come back to you, fully invested.

Then you must do this from time to time, or simply take no s**t, to make her see that you can and will turn away.

No guarantee though, and this may mess your head.

-------------------

After saying this, again, walk away would be what I would say.

Life is too short for this kind of behavior.

 

[DjVelvet]

After reading all the posts and DjVelvet's updates, there is only one thisg I can say, and that is, Walk Away with your head high.

Meeting some other man behind your back, somebody who tried to hit on her, not somebody she considers "brother"...

constant fighting initiated by her

nagging...

This shows she is finishing the relationship in her head, and since she can blame the fighting on your inconsiderate behaviour, of course, as "inconsiderate" defined by her, she will feel you were the one resposnbile for the break up.

This makes it possible in her head to connect with that new guy without guilt of having destroyed your relationship, and the willingness on his side is already there, so it is a low risk try.

Let's see: She is setting grounds for a "not my fault" break up, and already has a branch...

I see another way of going with this, but that is very difficult, and walking away is the sane thing to do. Because even if you succeed with the thing below, there is no guaranteee she will go "where is my life" again in the future.

The problem here is her high expectations, and you not meeting them.

DO NOT TELL HER YOU KNOW ABOUT THE LUNCH.

You do not want to be the stalker, or the jealous boyfriend.

Blame it on her being bad company, and that you have no interest in dealing with that kind of behavior.

---------------

What else can be done is that, on a day when she has not negged you, or started a fight, on a day when she behaved nice respectful, as good company does, then you do something with her that will create a heavy flow of emotion. but, you do it only because you want to do it, and only when she has been on good behavior.

Let her feel these emotions. These beautiful heavy emotions.

On the first sign of her going amok on you, pull back, take away all the emotions you give her, including anger. Be indifferent, and let her feel the void of your missing from the scene.

This may make her see what she has lost and make her come back to you, fully invested.

Then you must do this from time to time, or simply take no s**t, to make her see that you can and will turn away.

No guarantee though, and this may mess your head.

-------------------

After saying this, again, walk away would be what I would say.

Life is too short for this kind of behavior.

Hah, and i thought this thread has gone dead.

Updates:

No contacts between us, I am kinda busy with my work/ hitting the gym anyway. Otherwise when there's some empty time, i tend to think about her, the good old times when her behavior was all good.

Nonetheless, I remind myself of her Fukk up attitude (Which's true) and cut off my emotional side. To be really frank... in the past when i walked away, usually it is becuase i have low interest to the previous girls. For this current one, my interest towards her is quite high, thus walking away is so hard...

How am i dealing with it now..?

1) I took out my old Ipod which has been at the corner of my room for 3 months and transfer all my favourite rock music in it, having fun with the motion (I used to be a drummer).

2) Hit the gym~

3) busy with work

4) Making plans for a backpacking trip

5) Things to improve myself.

---------------------------------------------

I am an charming guy, but still have potential to be even a better guy.

I have a good job (Paying $6k per month), at the age of 26, I'm the highest earner among ALL my friends and peers. They are earning $1k-2k per month (My country's standard).

Good looking.

Sociable and musically talented.

A good female buddy of mine was talking about me... saying..

"You know what? DJV, you have a potential of becoming a top wanted guy in the future. You are a bit too skinny now, go hit the gym! You will be drop dead gorgeous and at your income, girls flocked to you!"

Wow. that's really motivating.. it helps a great deal for the "Walking away" process.

In fact, it all seems like this current gf of mine is missing out on a great catch.

I have kinda thought of a topic that i want to discuss. I will post it at another thread. I'm sure most guys will go through that process.